REVIEWS:
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(reviewed by Oleg Sobolev)
HIGH POINTS: Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft, Sub-Rosa Subway. LOW POINTS: Little Neutrino.
Here's the story: this album was originally released without any credits on the sleeve, so the whole similarity of the band's sound to the classic Beatles sound caused rumors about Klaatu being, in fact, The Beatles themselves. The legend said that The Beatles secretly reunited and recorded the whole album in late 1975 or something. In result, Klaatu charted respectably high and the band was really hyped by all kinds of musical press during a short of time. However, the identities of Klaatu members were opened eventually, and the public lost the whole interest in this little Canadian band.
That story shows how fucking the music industry sucked (and still sucks), what morons the musical press people were (and some still are) and how bad general public opinion was (and still is). First of all, any musical artist or band should be judged by MUSIC, not by the fucking IMAGE. And, second, it was completely clear from the very beginning that Klaatu were anything but The Beatles. Yeah, they sounded like The Beatles. Yeah, John Woloschuk and Dee Long sound pretty similar to John Lennon. But, otherwise, Klaatu aren't The Beatles. With all respect to these Canadian guys, it would take more than a lifetime to them to write a tune as good as any random classic Beatles song. Moreover, were Beatles really reuniting back in the mid 70's, they would make a really groundbreaking album, the one that had something really new in it, but Klaatu's songwriting abilities were just way too limited and noticeably unoriginal for that.
That said, however, I can't deny Klaatu were good. Even GREAT sometimes. Like, for instance, already the first track on here is an instant classic and a real masterpiece. I'm talking about "Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft", which is probably the band's most famous tune due to Carpenters' cover version, which became a hit single a year later. I haven't heard the cover, but the original is awesome. Dreamy Mellotron is gorgeous and the vocal melody with unforgettable "Calling occupants of interplanetary, quite extraordinary craft" chorus can stuck in your head for a long-long time. The song lasts for good seven minutes, and I'm not bored for a second. This song is a dang classic, and if you haven't heard it, you should.
The rest of the album is quite mediocre, though. Especially mediocre is the closing song, "Little Neurtino", a pretty damn awful attempt in making a progressive rock epic. But instead of crazy jamming, weird time signatures and complex multi-part construction we get eight minutes of absolutely nothing going on, with synths and Mellotrons playing some boring muzak at the background. The song doesn't go anywhere at all - it would be nice at maybe three minutes, but eight minutes of ugly pretentious cosmic drone is more than enough. The other problem with this album are two "rocking" tracks, "Anus Of Uranus" and "True Life Hero". Now, you see, Klaatu couldn't exactly rock at the first place. Too bad they thought they could. These songs aren't anything offensive, I guess, but they both lack any kind of energy and rely on generic hard rock riffs. And listening to some boring guy singing in a boring tone over boring riffs is BORING.
Also, you get: a Beach-Boys-crossed-with-Beatles styled rocker called "California Jam"; "Sub-Rosa Subway", which is, like, a mini-pop epic, and a good one, with great bells, orchestration and a superb coda to finish all things; a boring dated psychedelic circus music of "Doctor Marvello"; and "Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III", which sounds just way too STRANGE. It would be a perfectly normal kiddie song, if it weren't sung by John Woloschuk in a manner of wealthy old British gentleman (with addiiton of back vocals, which sound like a choir of horny 10-years old alien girls) and wouldn't have such an off-place and bizarre feeling all over the song. This song is definitely very interesting, but nothing much beyond the interest factor here. Well, but at least it adds some kind of twisted charm to this album, which is also very interesting, but not really great. I suppose it's more like for collectors only.
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(reviewed by Oleg Sobolev)
HIGH POINTS: Long Live Politzania, We're Off You Know, Prelude, The Loneliest Of Creatures, Around The Universe In Eighty Days, Hope. LOW POINTS: None
The second album by Klaatu is a bombastic sci-fi rock opera, which has a plot that makes Tommy look like it's a well-thought thesis on a life of deaf, dumb and blind teenage messiahs. It's basically a sci-fi story of some mighty race that controls all the Universe or something, but then dies out of total madness, and there's only one of them left - a lighthouse keeper, who is the loneliest creature in the Universe. When he dies, he says word "Hope" and it echoes out to the races that are now living in the Universe and they all understand that they need to live it all in the full harmony. Or some crap like that. Yeah, I realize that the stories like that should be forever banned (plus, lyrics are really, really poor), but the music itself is awesome. Not the music itself, perhaps, but the sound of Hope makes me jump around the room and spread the sperm for two miles around. Doug Riley provided all of the arrangements for this album, and, man, he did some great job here. The record sounds bombastic, loud and tastefully orchestrated. Just like this album needed to sound. These arrangements is what makes the album.
No, the songwriting of these guys have improved too (there is nothing like "Little Neutrino", thank Lord and Boognish) on here, but Doug's orchestrations kick just a bigger ass here. The finest example of that guy's talented is "Prelude", a six-minute instrumental that isn't nearly as memorable as the catchiest song of all time, Status Quo's "Pictures Of The Matchstick Man" (oh, sorry, that was way too random, I apologize), but still manages to be better than 60% of pop instrumentals, simply because all these parts flow together really well and all are breathtakingly gorgeous. That's it. And without that magical orchestration, it would seem just like another uninspired hard prog jam that Led Zeppelin used to feed us at their gigs back in the 70's (thank God I have another diet), but, this arrangement simply fucking rules, so that's why it's great.
However, if you think that I doubt the songwriting on here, you are: WRONG! (Ha, that was unpredictable, admit it! With so many songs highlighted and me talking about improved songwriting in the paragraph above, you just couldn't think I DO NOT doubt the songwriting on here, right am I?) These songs' melodies are incredible as well. For instance, the opener, "We're Off You Know" has a vocal melody so good that I wouldn't mind having sex with it, and, also, it is perhaps THE ultimate Beatles pastiche, if there ever was one. Like I said, the melody is a Beatles-quality (I didn't say that, but I guess you have guessed it without me) and the song sounds EXACTLY like Paul McCartney's upbeat songs. "Hope", on the other hand, sounds EXACTLY like Paul McCartney's late 70's ballads, and it's a wonder that how with a sound like that, it manages not to suck.
"Around The Universe In Eighty Days" is also a ballad, but it sounds like a cross between Pink Floyd and Paul McCartney again (I guess I should never again mention that REALLY NICE man in my Klaatu reviews again), and it's a brilliant song as well, even if a little bit airy. "The Loneliest Of Creatures" has a huge choir and bases the entire song on it. Of course, Doug's choral arrangement is superb beyond words. My favourite moment on the record is also in this song, when, in the very end, the choir vocals build, build and BUILD TO THE FUCKING POWER. Hell yeah. Unfortunately, this is where the list of perfect pop songs on here comes to the end, because sci-fi synth attack of "Madman" is kinda annoying and that "So Said The Lighthouse Keeper" goes on for six minutes without an obvious hook. That's particularly all about this album. I give it an 8.5.
:Allright, I saved a big highlight for ya. A marvelous, nine-minute multi-part pop epic "Long Live Politzania" alone gets the score up for a point. It is awesome. Catchy, gorgeous (the long instrumental break in the middle defines that word) and hilarious. The way they end the whole thing with a fictional state anthem (!!!), with pompous orchestration is simply hilarious. Oh, and you can't beat these "POLITZANIA!!!!! POLITZANIA!!!!!!! LONG LIVE POLITZAAAAAANIAAAAAAAA!!!!!" screams, because they so am rule that it isn't even funny. Fantastically orgasmic that great song is. Maybe even better than "Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft", and that says a lot.
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