Savannah
by John Berendt
If you're going to Savannah, here's what you should do before setting out: buy two CD's—Johnny Mercer singing Johnny Mercer songs and Nancy LaMott doing likewise. Mercer was a native Savannahian, and the winsome charm of his songs and his singing style will take you back to a sunnier era and put you in the perfect frame of mind for your trip. Set Nancy LaMott's CD aside for now, but listen to Mercer's rendition of "Accentuate the Positive" just before you leave the house for Savannah. When you arrive, you will find yourself in the midst of a city gardenscape of unparalleled splendor. This is what I suggest you do:
1. Hoof it. Savannah is a walking city. The historic district is a manageable 3-square-mile area. Streets are laid out in a grid pattern with 22 sumptuous green squares spaced at regular intervals. Walking from one to the other is like strolling through the rooms of an elegant open-air mansion. If you're a jogger, so much the better. At a jogger's pace, you enter a new square every 45 seconds or so, and the scenery flows smoothly by, in the manner of an exquisite travelogue.
2. Glide through the oak-alley dream machine. Savannah has some of the most spectacular tunnels of live oaks and Spanish moss anywhere in the South. The best ones arch over 37th Street, Victory Drive, Washington Avenue, a section of Whitaker Street along Forsyth Park, and the mile-long entrance to Wormsloe Plantation. After you've seen these, and making sure you've brought along a shaker of martinis, zip out to Bonaventure Cemetery; pause to pay your respects to Johnny Mercer, whose white marble slab is inscribed "And the Angels Sing," then take a seat on the poet Conrad Aiken's bench and have a leisurely martini, just as he meant for you to do.
3. Eat low off the food chain. Forget fancy food. You are in the land of grits, greens, corn bread, barbecue, fried chicken, shrimp, crab, oysters, sugar, butter and fat. Go to Nita's Place, Mrs. Wilkes's boarding house, Barnes Restaurant, The Lady & Sons, Wall's Bar B Que, Johnny Harris, and the Crystal Beer Parlor.
4. Let them entertain you. Two of Savannah's great ladies perform in local nightspots. Emma Kelly, who was nicknamed "The Lady of 6,000 Songs" by Johnny Mercer, plays piano and sings blues, old standards and show tunes most nights at Hannah's East. Meanwhile, the drag queen known as The Lady Chablis lip syncs, bumps, grinds, dances, and shoots her amazing mouth off at Club One on occasional weekends.
5. Atone for your sins. Should you be in Savannah on a Sunday morning, take yourself to the First African Baptist Church on Franklin Square. It's the oldest black Baptist church in America, and the sounds of its choir will fool you into thinking you've been admitted to heaven.
And here's what not to do:
1. Don't go to Savannah on St. Patrick's Day. The city is jammed with 300,000 celebrants who start drinking green beer at 6 A.M. and behave accordingly the rest of the day.
2. Don't touch the Spanish moss. If you do, you will become a host for microscopic chiggers.
3. Don't order a mint julep. Savannah is not in Kentucky. The drinks here are scotch, gin, vodka, beer, corn whiskey and white lightning.
4. Don't assume that a green light means "Go". In Savannah, it pays to be sure nobody's running a red light before you make a move. Bear in mind that Savannah's drivers frequently have a cocktail in the dashboard soft-drink holder.
5. Don't be alarmed when perfect strangers make eye contact with you in the street, or even start up conversations. They tend to do that in Savannah. It's called being civil.
When you go back home, my guess is you'll still be high from your Savannah experience. You can keep the high alive by playing Nancy LaMott's superb Mercer CD. You'll know what I mean when you hear it.
© John Berendt
