Tenchi Muyo! Meets Dragonball Z/GT A Tenchi Muyo/Dragonball GT crossover lemon MSTing Oringinal fic by: Kiyone Mabiki (supposedly at IkasuPan@aol.com) MSTing by: M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu) and Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris (lardalmighty@netscape.net) Well, I tried reaching this author to get their permission. The E-mail address didn't work, according to AOL. So, if you're reading this, I tried. Well, now that that's been said, I've been slacking off recently in my works. I've gotten addicted to AMV's, so I've been staring at the screen, not even typing for a while. Well, other than a few fanfics that I thought were pretty cool. As for Craig, he's been working non-stop. Shows who's the better worker here. I've been trying to convince him to try MSTings for a while, so this is pretty exciting here. Okay, moving right along, disclaimer time. I don't own MST3K. Best Brains does. I don't own Pokemon. Game Freaks does. I don't own Tenchi Muyo. Apparently, Naoko Hasegawa does. I don't own Dragonball Z or GT. Akira Toriyama does. Any of the other products mentioned during the course of this MSTing are the properties of their respective creators. Michelle is my own character. Masato Kiriyama is Craig's character. If you want to use either one, ask. It's polite. Neither of us wrote this fic. That's Kiyone Mabiki's pleasure, and they're welcome to it. Now, if there's nothing else, then I'll get started. In the not-too distant future, Next Sunday A.D. There were some bitchin' trainers, Pokemon trainers to you and me. They wandered 'round the world to become the best, Trying to beat out all the rest, They did well for a while, But then they lost one little battle And were shot into space (Ash: Pi-ka-chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!) We'll send them crapy fanfics, The worst we can find(la, la, la!) They'll have to sit and watch them all And we'll monitor their minds.(la, la, la!) Now keep in mind Ash can't control when the fanfics begin and end He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his trainer friends! (Poke roll call!) Cambot! (We're on!) Misty! (Splish, splash!) Michelle! (I'm not a trainer) Broooooock! (I'm back!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts, Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a fanfic I should really just relax!" For Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000!(TWAAAANG!) Reverse door sequence The scene opens to the sight of Brock working on the trading machine again. The singe marks from the explosion have been cleaned off of the side, and the stamps have somehow been replaced (needless to say, Michelle hurt Brock once again). Brock emerges from the open panel on the side of the machine wearing a radioactivity suit. "Well, that takes care of the power source," he says. "I think that may be all that I need." "What did you say?!" Ash asks, rushing onto the bridge, wearing his characteristic clothes. "Well, I think that I've finished off the trading machine. I'll need a test subject, though," Brock replies. "HerePikachubackgivenow!" Ash exclaims unintelligibly, handing Brock the pokeball for Onix. "Now, you know, this is only a test run, so you may not get him back," Brock says. "NokeepPikachunotradeyet!" Ash exclaims again, taking back the pokeball. "Well, we need some sort of test subject," Brock said, scratching his chin. "Did I hear 'test subject?'" Misty asks, Michelle and her walking onto the bridge. "Yeah, Misty, he's fixed the machine. He needs a test subject," Ash exclaims. "Oooo! Oooooo!" Misty exclaims Horshack-style. "Yes, Misty?" Brock asks. "Use Psyduck! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!" she exclaims. She releases the Pokemon from the pokeball and lets it run freely back and forth along the bridge. "Oh, don't use Psyduck!" Michelle exclaims, holding Psyduck down and hugging him closely. "He's a sweetie!" "But he's completely useless!" Misty whines at Michelle, grabbing Psyduck's arm and trying to pull him from her grasp. Michelle quickly grabs his other arm and tries holding him down. A frantic squawk escapes Psyduck as he senses the stretching being applied to his arms. "Guys..." Ash calls nervously. "So what if he's 'useless'?! He's got good personality!" Michelle exclaims, pulling harder. "He's got the personality of a plank of wood!" Misty exclaims, pulling even harder. "Guys!" Ash exclaims. "You just never listen to him!" Michelle exclaims, pulling harder again. Psyduck's screams reach a high pitch as they continue arguing. A slight glow envelopes his head. "GUYS!" Brock yells in a panic. Ash and Brock give up and jump behind the trading machine to avoid the blast. A moment later, Psyduck loses control and his mind lifts the two fighting women from his arms and throws them across the room. The psychic shock-wave sweeps across the room, hitting the trading machine and knocking the radioactive energy source from its innards. "Aww, crap, guys!" Brock exclaims. "I just finished that off!" Michelle rubs her head and sits up. "Sorry," Michelle says. "I'm just against animal testing." "Right," Ash says. "You okay, Misty?" Misty doesn't respond. Ash walks over to check her. "Misty?" He bends down to check her. "Well, she's not dead," Ash says. "I'll take her up to sick bay." He strains his arms, trying to pick up Misty. After a few minutes of him straining his back, Brock gives up and helps him carry her. As they walk down the hallway, the Mads light begins flashing. Michelle presses the button to open the channel to Deep 251. Deep 251 "Hey out there, you rockin' mothers!" Jesse exclaims, bounding in front of the camera. She wears sunglasses large enough to cover her head, a pink tuxedo, and purple, skin-tight pants. In the background, rap music is playing loudly, causing both Jesse and the others to yell over it. "Are you ready to get your jig on?!" "Jesse, what are you wearing?" Michelle asks. "I'm wearing the new style from Billy Jo Lylon! Everybody's doing it!" Jesse replies. "Right. Well then, why are you wearing it?" Michelle asks. "Where is everyone else? I want them to be here." Jesse asks. "Misty was injured a few minutes ago," Michelle says. "She'll probably be out for a while. The others are taking her to sick bay." "You have a sick bay?" Jesse asks, a puzzled look probably on her face, if we could see behind the sunglasses. "I guess so," Michelle says. "Well, damn!" Jesse exclaims. "James! Get on your summoning cloak!" "What are you up to?" Michelle asks. James and Meowth march in solemnly, carrying candles in one hand and wearing long, black robes with sleeves longer than their arms. They march around in circles for a few moments, preparing for a dark, satanic ritual. "We will now perform a dark, satanic ritual to provide you with a guest for this week!" Jesse exclaims as she dims the lights and turns off the background music. James and Meowth stop marching in front of the camera. James extends his empty hand, flicks back the sleeve, and brings his hand to his hood, pushing it back and holding his hand to his ear. Michelle sees a cell phone in his hand. "Yeah, Fran!" James says. "Look, I need you to do me a favor real quick. You know that nice guy we read about last week? Said it'd be nice to put him up on a satellite...? Yeah, the dead one. Well, can you send him up for today? We need a temporary replacement... Yeah, number three... Thanks, Fran! I'll see you later tonight!" "Fran?" Michelle wondered aloud. "Yeah, Pete's out sick," Frank said. As Ash and Brock return to the bridge, the air beside Michelle begins to shimmer. "Hey, Michelle, what's going on?" Ash asks. Brock dons his suit again and bends down to start fixing the trading machine. "The mads are sending us a replacement for Misty," Michelle says. "They said he was dead." "Oh, WOW! We get a ZOMBIE?!" Ash exclaims. "Cool!" He started humming a cute little Rob Zombie ditty as the air began to solidify. After a few minutes, a medium height, slim gentleman stands beside Michelle, whose eyes had glazed over. There is a halo over his head of light brown hair. He's wearing a blue uniform with black pants and is holding an energy sword. "Damn! I thought it was going to be a chick!" "Well, it isn't! Any complaints?" Michelle exclaimed, cocking a fist back at Ash. "None here!" Ash said nervously. "He looks like my old boyfriend!" Michelle commented off-hand. "What's going on here? I was just playing pinochle with Gandhi!" the man exclaims. "Who are you, handsome?" Michelle asks, moving close to the man. "My name's Masato Kiriyama," the man replied. "Galaxy Police and dead guy extra-ordinary. And you?" "I'm Michelle, these two smug bastards are Ash and Brock," Michelle says, moving closer to Masato still. "I like that name. Very oriental. Exotic. I like exotic." She trailed her fingers across his shoulders slowly. "Hey! I'm not smug!" Ash exclaims. "Okay, where are we, and why am I here?" Masato asks. He steps subtly away from Michelle. "We're on a satellite orbiting the Earth, and we're being forced to watch bad fanfics until we go insane," Michelle replies. She moves closer to him and puts her arm around his shoulder. "Well, that sounds like just the way to spend my day alive," Masato comments. He steps away from her again. "Look, is there any way to get in contact with anyone on Earth? I've got some friends in Okayama that I'd like to give a ring." "Oh, you mean Tenchi?" Michelle asks. She moves closer to him. "Yeah, him!" Masato says. He steps away again. "Well, not him, but my princess fiance. You may have heard of her? Ayeka?" "Right, you're engaged to the Crown Princess of Jurai," Ash says in disbelief. "No, really! I was supposed to marry her, but I... was kind of... made deadish," Masato exclaims. "I'm taken," he says to Michelle. "Yeah, there's a pay phone in there," Brock comments from his work- station, pointing into the kitchen. Masato runs to the phone and picks up the receiver. As he dials the number, the Mads light begins flashing again. Deep 251 "Well, that was a touching introduction," Jesse says. The music has been turned back to full volume. "Now, let me explain what we're doing here. We are starting up a TV channel for Anime Music Videos, all day, every day! We're about to start our first transmission, and you are about to witness history!" "Anime Music Videos? I thought those were only on computers," Ash says. "God, you're an idiot," Jesse says. "We've just used a bit of- James, get over here!" James walks on-screen, still wearing his black cloak. "James, take off that ridiculous rag." "I don't want to! This is so much better than the crap you've got me wearing!" James replies. "What do you know?! You're wearing the most recent fashion from JPOMirin!" Jesse exclaims. "Take off the robe or I'll kill you." James removes the robe slowly and reluctantly, revealing a fuzzy bunny suit covering his body. "All right, now for our premier! We've got, coming to you, Tenchi Muyo's version of 'Down with the Sickness' by Disturbed!" The screen blanks out and stays as such for a good five minutes before Deep 251 reappears. "James, what went wrong?" Jesse asks angrily. "Well, the video was in avi format, and our computer can't read it," James replies. "Okay, technical difficulties. Happens to all starting stations. But don't worry, because AMTV is still up and running!" Jesse exclaims into the camera. "Next, we've got 'Get Your Freak On' by some chick or another set to Cowboy Bebop." The screen blanks out again for a shorter time this time. When the screen fades back in, Jesse is standing by the control table, throttling James. "AVI!! AVI!!" James manages to croak out between the tightening hands of Jesse. "Okay then. Let's try 'Cause I Got High' by Afro-man, set to Dragonball Z," Jesse says. "Sorry, it's in a zip format," James replies. "We don't have WinZip." "'Surfin' USA' by the Beach-boys set to Record of the Lodoss Wars?" "Zip file." "How about 'White Wedding' by Billy Idol and Neon Genesis Evangalion?" "AVI," James replies. "Well, what is there that we can look at?" Jesse asks. "Well, there's Bach's Fugue in D Minor set to Blue Submarine Six," James suggests. Jesse buries her face in her hands. "And this was our invention for the week, too!" "Wait, your invention didn't work?!" Michelle exclaims. "That means no experiment! Woo-hoo!" "Hardly, little Miss Michelle," Jesse replies coolly. "It means that I may have to kill James. Beyond that, nothing." "Ah, damn," Michelle says, taking out a box from inside the desk. "Well, this is our invention for the day. It's based on people's fascination with the soothing home deco trend that has started rearing its ugly head more frequently of late. It's the Relax-O-Matic 2001!" Michelle produces a large, black ball from the box. "The general idea is that this will provide every sense with relaxing stimuli all at once with a combination of all of the relaxation trends of today! It starts when you press the button to turn the machine on." She demonstrates this by pressing the small, black button on the side. The ball springs open, revealing an array of contraptions arranged very deliberately. "First, a small battery is used to light a large scented candle, which heats a small bowl of water, which falls down this track here, producing soothing sounds and turning a wheel that produces enough energy to pump water back into the bowl. It also leaves enough energy to power these pads that you attach to your body. You then receive an energy massage that relaxes the muscles and strengthens at the same time. There's a stained glass around the candle that casts a comforting glow around the room." The machine sputters for a few moments before giving up the ghost and exploding. "That's been happening a lot today," Michelle comments. "So, what do you think, sirs?" Ash asks. "I think that was idiotic and pointless, and it never deserved to be made. And ours was fifteen thousand times better. So there, nya!" Jesse exclaims, poking out her tongue. "Well, now that that's over with, let's get you four into the theater! Your fic this week is a cute little crossover Tenchi- Muyo/Dragonball GT lemon fic, called, originally enough, 'Tenchi Muyo meets Dragonball Z/GT!' Enjoy! Send them the fic, Meowth!" Masato runs back from the kitchen when he hears the sirens go off. "They weren't home! I don't get to talk to my beloved before I die!" he exclaims. "You're already dead!" Ash points out. "You know, that's a good point," Masato replies. "We've got fanfic sign!!" Brock, Ash, and Michelle exclaim as Michelle presses the button and the four of them run into the theater. Door 6: A solid wall. A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it. Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it. Door 4: A drawbridge. It falls, missing your feet by a few inches. Door 3: A wall of fire. You get Squirtle to put it out. Door 2: A large hand. All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 1.5 (the sheet of paper) Door 1: A vault door. You turn the handle and it swings open easily. The group takes their seats in their usual places, with Masato taking Misty's place. Ash pokes at Masato's halo. Ash: So, does it hurt or anything? Masato: What, the halo? Ash: No, being dead. Masato: Well, the dying part did hurt, but not the being dead part. > Tenchi Muyo! meets Dragonball Z/GT Brock: In an epic show-down of gigantic proportions! Michelle: The final showdowns of brains against brawns! Ash: (Washu) Let me show you what these magic fingers can do! Masato: What are you doing? Michelle: Trust us, if you don't do it, your brain'll explode. It won't be fun. > Washuu Hakubi's Time Machine Ash: (singing) Let's do the Time Warp again! Brock: (announcer) Coming to you from the 1970's, it's "Trunks and Goten get it on!" Michelle: And the whirring sound you hear is H.G. Wells spinning in his grave... Masato: Hey! Watch what you say about dead people! > *Torankusu and Goten's First Love* Brock: Oh, don't tell me it's a yaoi! Michelle: Give you a dose of your own medicine... >~Disclaimer: All Dragonball Z/GTcharacters belong to Akira Toryama and/or Toei >Animation. All Tenchi Muyo! characters >belong to Pioneer. No characters here belong to me. The story and the ideas do. Michelle: And you're welcome to them! Ash: (Kiyone Mabiki) Well, except for Tenchi. I swear, that was all my idea! Damn Hasegawa for stealing my character! And my name is Kiyone! How dare he steal that name! >If you are here, very immature to handle any lemony elements, please do not >read this. Masato: You know, it's usually not a good idea to do a level one English class project on a subject like this. Ash: I dunno. Some teachers might like it. >This is only for people who are highly >very mature people who can handle lemon Fan Fiction. Enjoy....! ^.^ Brock: That highly very give me much headache... Ash: I somehow doubt the validity of a lemon fanfic whose author writes like a fourth grader that insists on the reader's maturity. > One fine day at Okayama, Japan... Sasami was cooking the crew the food... Michelle: I didn't know there was a port at Okayama. Ash: Well, I didn't know that Sasami had enlisted in the Navy. Masato: Well, they must be pretty important for Sasami to be cooking *THE* food. >Ryouko and Aeka fighting as usual... >Washuu in her lab making something.. Brock: Something orange... Thinking of something orange... >Mihoshi and Kiyone playing video games.. >Tenchi watching t.v... Nobuyuki >Yosho watching t.v. as well... Michelle: So very engaging... The attention to detail is astounding! Brock: I know that in writing, less is more, but this is taking it a bit too far... Masato: Hey, they must have bought a new TV while I've been dead! The cheapskates! Just waiting for me to leave so they didn't have to share! >*Sasami* "Breakfast is ready!" Ash: Oh, this is just peachy. It's even in dialogue format! Michelle: Well, at this point, we're not the ones to talk. Brock: Shh, Michelle, fourth wall! >*Everyone* "Sankyuu, Sasami-chan!" Masato: (Latka) Thankyouverymuch! Brock: Wow, they should go out for a chorus! Michelle: What're you talking about? They're a chorus-line by themselves! >*Sasami* "Heh.. Gosh you guys.. It's actully my everyday job! ::giggles:: You >forgot already?" Ash: (Sasami) Have you guys been in the wacky weed again? Brock: (Tenchi) Hey, do you guys feel like you're floating? Michelle: (Kiyone) Funyuns! (Yeah!) Masato: They probably got into Yosho's secret stash... >*Kiyone* "I guess airhead forgot! ::smirk::" > Michelle: Wait, is that a self-insert? Brock: Well, it is a lemon, so... >*Mihoshi* "::sweatdrop:: Heey!!! =/ Let's just eat..." Brock: Ooooh, the kiss of death for a story: a smiley... Michelle: Looks like the author was trying to reduce Mihoshi's stupidity to a mathematical equation. Masato: Take it from someone who's lived with her; not even mathematics can explain her stupidity... > {KAb00m!!!!} Masato: See? The computer exploded when it was trying to explain Mihoshi's stupidity! Michelle: Looks like Kiyone's caps lock is malfunctioning. > As everyone starts eating, they hear an awful corruption outside. Michelle: Oh, no! It's the starting line-up of the 1919 White Sox! Brock: Even worse! DiC's dubbing Sailor Stars! >Everyone ran outside and there they >found.. Masato: WAIT FOR IT!!! Brock: The entire Luxembourg track team practicing on their front lawn! >A little kid with a funny looking hair-do..Goten-san and his best >friend with a bowl-cut lavender hair, >Torankusu. Michelle: (Tenchi) We don't want any! Ash: Boy, the Jehova's Witnesses are getting a lot younger these days. Brock: Now *that* is an elaborate way to introduce a cross-over! >*Torankusu* "Goten!! You fool! How many times have you crash? ....Let me fly >next time...." Masato: Wait, Trunks was riding Goten? Michelle: Well, it is a lemon, so all bets are off! >*Goten* "::sweatdrop:: Well, it's not my fault your mom put an airbag!" Ash: I didn't know that Goten came with a driver's side airbag! Masato: Must be the '01 model. Brock: Yes, and that airbag is named Chi-Chi! > Those 2 kids continue arguing.......... Masato: But it's not really that interesting. Not like dialogue adds anything to fics... >*Tenchi* "Okay... Who are you 2?" > Ash: (Goten) They're a very popular pop band. Why do you ask? Michelle: (Trunks, singing) Where the streets have no name... Masato: (Goten) If you don't mind, we're trying to have an argument here! Brock: Ah, but who cares? >*Goten* "I'm Son Goten! I'm 7-yrs. old... And this is-..." Brock: (Goten) My insane love puppy, Asshole Jones. >*Torankusu* "::pushes Goten aside::I'm Torankusu Burifu, the great! Son of the >genius Buruma Burifu Bejita and the Saiya-Jin Prince, Bejita Burifu! I'm 8-yrs. >old!" Michelle: Wow! That tickles my brain! Masato: And already starring in lemons! Way to go! Brock: (shudder) Chibi-Usa's got him beat... >*Goten* "Whoooo! I'll give you an applause for that! ::whistle:: Whoooooo >oohhhhh!" Ash: Oh, hush! You're only encouraging him. Michelle: Man, this kid would applaud my laundry! Ash: (Trunks) Can I get an "Amen!" All: Amen! >*Torankusu* "(). ... Ruuuighttttt..." Michelle: What's that supposed to be? Rooightt? Ash: "Ruuite." Isn't that somewhere on the Periodic table? >*Aeka* "Okay, well, I guess that explains enough!" Michelle: Okay, well, I guess you got something out of that that I didn't... Masato: (Ayeka) Absolutely no possibility that they're here to kill us! Nope! Not at all! >*Everyone* "Hai!" Brock: (Goten) Well, hello to you, too! >*Sasami* "Hehehe.. I'm also 8!" > >*Torankusu* "Really?" Michelle: (Trunks) Get to the part where I should care. Brock: (Sasami) And if we're both underage, that means we can't go to jail! >*Sasami* "Yeah! ^.^;; You wanna come eat with us?" Ash: He's known her for two minutes and he's already got her cooking for him! She's in the bag! Brock: Does she even need ask? Masato: Man, it took me killing fifteen guys to get Sasami cooking for me! Brock: But then again, she didn't want your hot man-chowder. Masato: Whoah! Hello! >*Goten* Ash: Man, this sure is one star-studded event! (insert rim-shot) >"Sure! We're starvin'!" Michelle: (Sasami) Excuse me, I was talking to my hunka-hunka-burning man-slave here! > Torankusu glares at Sasami... He then has a sudden crush on her. >=Torankusu thinking:-Aww, those >beautiful eyes, those smooth legs.. Brock: (Trunks) Well, I'm assuming that they're smooth since she's not old enough to grow hair yet. Masato: Then again, how can you tell with the five-foot long kimono she wears? >Her wonderful beautiful hair, her kawaii >darling looks....! And gosh! >We're also the same age!!! =D-: ||!i~::record scratch::~i!|| Brock: (church-lady) How conveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenient! Ash: Great, not even a page into it and already a plot-hole big enough to drive a Mac-truck through... >*Goten* "HEY TORANKUSU! QUIT DROOLING MAN! LET'S EAT!" Michelle: I thought you're supposed to drool when it came to food. Ash: (Goten) And don't you dare compliment her cooking! Masato: (Trunks) Shut up, you! I'm trying to picture her naked here! Michelle: Great, the mads had to send us another baka... >*Torankusu* "Uhh.. Okay, sure... !" Brock: (Trunks) Well, considering the energy we're going to be spending later... > -------The kitchen/Eating Table------- > >"God, Sasami!(munch) You cook great! You're (munch)equal to my mom.. Ash: (Goten) Except that you're a lot more hot than my mom! Masato: (slaps Ash) Ash: Hey! It was Goten, not me! Masato: What about Goten? I was just slapping you because I felt like it. Michelle: You know, I like slapping them, too. We've got stuff in common! Masato: Except that I'm taken. Still. >Gosh, >I bet when you get to her > age, (munch)You'll cook even better! ^.^"said Goten, eating as he speaks. Michelle: When Sasami gets to her age, she won't be able to cook at all! Brock: Yeah, she'll be too busy in other rooms of the house. >"Well, ::giggle:: I'm glad you like it...!" Ash: (Sasami) I found it behind the radiator the other day! Michelle: Yeah, that dust and asbestos really adds some texture. >dearly said Sasami. Torankusu then said, "So Washuu... Uhmmm.... You said you >were working on this time machine, >right? Brock: Excuse me, when did she say *anything* to them? Masato: Hey, she's learned telepathy since I died! Coolness! >How far will that bring us to?" Washuu suddenly said,"Well, it depends >how far you wanna go, right?" Ash: Well, ask a stupid question... Michelle: Okay, why do they call it "lunch?" Masato: I'd have expected him to have had enough of time machines for two lifetimes... >"Well, >uhmm.. yeah, I guess.."said Torankusu. "Well, there's your answer! ^^"said >Washuu. "Wow, Washuu!"said Toranksu. Masato: Hey, wait a minute! It changed to text format! That must have been the magical section break! Michelle: (Trunks) On second thought, I don't care. MORE FOOD! >"Yes! You may call me Otaku Washuu, Kinnshou Washuu, or Chibi Washuu... >Whatever seems great to you."said Washuu. Ash: And you can call *me* unimpressed! Masato: And you can call me confused, 'cause she never had me call her any of that. Brock: Just, for god's sake, don't call her Mini-Washuu! >"Ehehehe... Okay, Otaku Washuu! Oh, and hey Washuu.... I WANT 10 YEARS! XD" >preferred Torankusu. Brock: Have sex with jailbait like Sasami, and you'll get ten to twenty years! Michelle: (Washuu) What? Sorry, I didn't quite catch that last part. What does "XD" mean, anyway? Greatest mind in the universe, and I can't get what you're saying... Ash: And I want about two hours so that I can get the hell out of here. >"Okie, dokie! No problem! ^.~" snapped Washuu Michelle: Ah, damn, she snapped! Someone get the long, white coat! Masato: I always knew all the stress would get to her... >with a quick answer. Masato: It's quick, but is it her *final answer?* Michelle: >"Hey, Torankusu, wanna try it out? And maybe you can bring Goten with you or >something, huh? >Sounds cool? =P"offering Washuu to Torankusu. Ash: "Offering Washuu..." Oww... OWWW! Michelle: Wait, Goten is offering Washuu to Trunks? Brock: What is he, Pimp-daddy Blackalicious? Michelle: Isn't he a bit young for that? >"Uhmm. Sure, okay!" Ash: (Trunks) Duuuuuh, okay, George! > > -------Washuu's lab------- Michelle: Meanwhile, back at the ranch... > > "WELCOME!! This is Washuu Hakubi's lab of Science and Technology!!"greeted >Washuu. "Yesssssssshhhhhhh!!!"said Goten. Brock: Wow, now that's a slur! Got into the "tea" again, did we, Goten? Masato: Nobuyuki really should try to keep that where kids can't get into it. Unless he's trying... Sasami?! Michelle: Ew. Ick. >"Okay, Torankusu, you said you wanted Goten and you to go into the time >machine?" "Well, actully me.. But Goten can come, anyways.." Brock: (Trunks) Yeah, I guess I won't snub my friend... Michelle: What's with all the periods? Ash: Well, with house of six women... Michelle: Masato: >Said Torankusu... Goten was just here for the heck of it... "Okay, but I >brought a little guest with me.. Michelle: (Washuu) His name's Oscar, and he's a really nice guy! Ash: (Ryo-oh-ki) Meow! Meow-meow!!! Brock: Well, maybe adding ten years'll give him a bit of maturity. Ash: And some basic grammatical skills. Masato: Who's Oscar? Ash: You don't want to know... I didn't want to know, so trust me, you don't want to know. >You may know the >great awesome chef! Michelle: (Washuu) I summon the Iron Chef! Hiroyuki Sakai!!! >Sasami Jurai Masaki!"greeted Washuu. Torankusu's jaw >dropped... Masato: Hey, when did she and Tenchi get married? Brock: Little duct-tape'll fix that problem right up, you know, Trunks. Michelle: Well, at least he didn't face-fault. >He stared at her legs since she was >wearing a really short skirt. Ash: Trunks likes a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong jacket! Masato: This is not the conservative young girl that I used to wash dishes with. >Goten elbowed Torankusu, "Maaaaannnnn! Do you >like her or something?!"said Goten getting a little >suspicious... Michelle: No, he's just gaping, got five nose-bleeds, and was forced to pour ice water on his crotch because he likes that sort of thing... >"Me? Oh heeeellllll Brock: (Trunks) Good boy! Now, roll over! Fetch! And play dead! That's a good Goten! >no! *sigh* She's not the right girl for me. >Nuhhhhh-uh!" lied Torankusu. "Okay, you may make your >move!"said Washuu. Masato: (Trunks) Queen to Rook seven! Ash: (Washuu) Right hand red! Michelle: (Trunks) Why would I make my move? I just said she wasn't my type! You don't listen, woman! >Goten and Torankusu walked in nervously. Well, mostly >Torankusu. "Sasami and I will be going too..."Washuu >and Sasami stepped also in. Masato: Why is Washuu going? She's already got twenty thousand years of her own... Michelle: Well, then, ten more really can't hurt, can it? Brock: Oh, Sasami's going, too. What a shocker. Wonder why... As if... >Sasami stood by Torankusu. Torankusu blushed. He >felt her petite breast pushing against him. Brock: And, oddly enough, telling him to get the hell off of it! Michelle: (Trunks) Sasami, why are you cooking chicken in here? Ash: (Sasami) Rotisserie-d to your liking! >"Oooooooooooooohh"he said silently... -[ Torankusu thought: 'Aww shit! ::stares >at her breast:: Ahh! I gottah touch those!' ]- Ash: Okay, I'm calling a big no-way here! The breasts were supposedly pushing against you not one sentence ago! They are touching you! It is official, and there is nothing to argue! I want you to shut your friggin' mouth and go home, you two-bit Trunks impersonator! I swear, something is majorly wrong with this fic! All, and I mean ALL of the characters have the collective IQ of a golf- bag! And if something doesn't improve pretty durned skippy, this theater is going to take some HEAVY COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! Rest: >"Running! T-Minus 10 seconds! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! See you in the >future!"said Washuu... > Michelle: Okay, I'm stumped. Which is more appropriate here, a Bill and Ted's reference, or a Back to the Future reference? Ash: Bill and Ted's. The main characters in it are as stupid as these. > -------Future People......?------- Brock: For the love of puppies, I don't know! You tell us! > > "Okay! That's it!"Washuu said. She was wearing a nice red belly shirt and >a yellow headband. Her pink hair had purple >streaks. Michelle: Regardless of the fact that her hair hasn't changed in the past twenty-thousand years. Ash: She turned into a punker! >It was longer than ever. Her pants was baggy. Masato: And this grammar am be horrible. Brock: At least Washuu's not frogning. >She wore glasses that >fitted her well. Her shoes were black and blue. Ash: Those aren't her shoes, those are her ankles. Brock: Been getting a bit rough in the lab with Tenchi, eh? >Goten had his hair spiked. He wore a turquoise-long sleeved. His shirt had >yellow edged-trimmings. His pants were khakis. All: YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING KHAKIS!!! Ash: Ah, the family ties are strong here! Michelle: Well, that should be an obscure enough reference! >He had white shoes with gray trimmings on it. Torankusu wore a brown trench >coat and wore a black long sleeved shirt inside. >He had a violet-blue bandana tied around his neck. He wore striped shorts. Brock: Hold it. Shorts with a brown trench-coat and a long-sleeved shirt? Michelle: Can we say, "dork?" Ash: He's a Gumby! Masato: Who's the designer, Helen Keller? Michelle: Really, at least have the decency to give him his cool haircut from the future... >He >he had black socks and brown boots. >Sasami had her hair not pony-tailed anymore. It just hung out. Brock: Among other things, to Trunks's sheer delight... Michelle: >She had a white >silky belly tanktop on that went with her really short skirt >that was the color of her hair. She wore boots that started from her knees all >the way down. Ash: I'm sorry, but this is just border-line dominatrix here. Brock: Yeah, guess it runs in the family *cough*Ayeka*cough*. > -[ Torankusu thought: 'God damn she's fine... Awww!!! ::groaned:: >Maaaannnnn! I really wanna get with her... >I gotta have a plan.. Michelle: But I'll tell you, if you wannabe her lover, you've got to get with her friends... Brock: Considering the girls she lives with, I wouldn't mind that at all... >I look really dorky right now.. =/ Ash: Well, yeah, but it's hardly your fault. Blame Kiyone. Masato: What did Kiyone do? I'd rather blame Mihoshi. Ash: Not your Kiyone, the writer Kiyone. Michelle: Great, now she's just typing random keys. Next thing you know, it'll be "ahdkjfhdkl." >God damn! Her breast >is so damn bigggg! Oooooh shit! ::stares at her breast Brock: What, just the one of them? Ash: I guess the big one's the only one worth looking at. >and starts to drool::I can probably get Goten to hook my up since both Sasami >and Goten are good friends! Yeah, baybeeeeeh!' ]- Michelle: Mike Meyers *is* Austin Powers *as* Trunks *in* "The Super-Saiyan Who Shagged Me!" Masato: Wait, they've been there for two hours, and Goten and Sasami are already good friends? > -[ Goten though: 'God damn! Washuu looks so damn cool! And oh gosh! She looks >better than ever! Wait.. Why am I like this? Brock: Because you have to stick to the script if you want to get paid. Capiche? Ash: I guess the motivation for the characters in this fic are "horniness," "anxiety" and "sexual tension." Brock: And that's any different from the show? >I never was... Aww well! OMFG! I forgot this was the future! =/ Since Torankusu >is good friends with Washuu, he can prolly hook > me up! YESHHHHHH!' ]- Brock: There's that slur again! Ash: You'd think that ten years would give him enough time to get over that... Masato: Must be Nobuyuki's *Special* "tea!" Michelle: (singing) Show me the way to go home...! > "So how was it?"said Sasami in a really sexy voice(for all you guys out >there). Masato: Really, because I could swear that it just wasn't for me in any way, shape, or form. Brock: *Those eyes* just keep popping up whenever I try to picture this Sasami... >Torankusu stutters as he tries to talk to her, >"I-It-It-Wa-Was-Was-Th-T-The-Bes-Best-Ev-Eve-Ever!! Yeshhhhhh!" said Torankusu. Ash: Now he's slurring, too! Masato: I guess Nobuyuki had ninety-nine bottles on the wall! >"Yeah, Goten... Heh.. I know, you feel >kinda strange, huh? Ahhh, you'll get used to it.." said Washuu. Brock: Funny, Washuu acts like she's done this before. >Torankusu and >Sasami were now 18, Goten was 17, and Washuu >was 22 years-old. Masato: Give or take twenty-thousand... > "Hey, Washuu.. What would you think the others would say if they saw us?" >asked Goten. "HmmmZ... Brock: I've always said that the fights in Hmmm Z were better than the ones in Hmmm GT. Masato: They'd think, "Wow, you guys look older! Well, back to the Soap Operas..." >I am not soo sure. >Torankusu? Sasami? Any ideas?" asked Washuu, also. "No... =/ " said, both >Torankusu and Sasami. "Hey! I have an idea! We should >just turn the whole world into 10 years!" said Washuu. Ash: Michelle: Now *that* is a feat of science! Turn about 6.5 billion years into ten years! Brock: She's got one hell of a compression program... Ash: And darnit, I still don't have WinZip! >"But wouldn't we be >older then? Like... 10 years older?" asked Goten, being >sorta smart... Michelle: But wasn't that the whole point of the trip? Like... being ten years older? Masato: Ah, time travel is a fickle mistress... Ash: Makes for messy book-keeping... >"Ahaha! Goten! I could fix that up... ^.^ " said Washuu with a >sudden answer. "Okie, dokie! Get back in the time >machine... We have a whole world to go forward!" Brock: And we've got a whole eleven pages to go forward. It hurts, Michelle. I need a hug. Michelle: So do I, Masato. Masato: So do I, but Ayeka's not here... >said Washuu. They all step >into the time machine and then Washuu pushes the >button. Ash: And accidentally blows up the planet. The End. Michelle: So, what's on Raw? >"Okay.. Here we go again! Everyone will stay the same age.. Especially >Tenchi, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Ryouko, Aeka, etc.! Brock: (Nobuyuki) Oh, so I guess I'm "and the rest!" >G'bye you guys! See ya' in the future!" said Washuu quick as she can. > Masato: What, no echo? That's OOC if I ever saw it! > -------The Future------- > Michelle: You were expecting the past? Brock: I was expecting a not-so-crappy fic. Ash: (Washuu) Sorry, guys! I pressed the wrong button! So, do you guys like dinosaurs? > "Hmmm.. I don't really seem any different.. =/ " said Goten. "Heh.. You >dumbass! ::lol:: Didn't you hear Washuu? Ash: Michelle, I think the dumb is rubbing off on me. I can't remember my name! Michelle: It's Ash, Ash. >She said that she would just make the world the future.. Not the people in this >house.. Or lab.." Torankusu said, very confident that >he was right, and stuff.. Masato: Ladies and gentlemen, the MSTers have been rendered speechless. Michelle: Hey! Leave that Fourth Wall alone! > -------The Kitchen/Eating Table------- > Brock: Wow, they haven't moved for the past ten years! Michelle: (Tenchi) Sasami, we need food! > "Yo', Mihoshi!" said Washuu and Sasami. Brock: Not only did she turn into a punker, but she also turned into a gangsta! Michelle: For some odd reason, the "Yo Noids" video game is called to mind. >"Hey!.... Washuu.. You look >different.. Brock: No, REALLY!! They just went through a frickin' time machine! Masato: Now, she really is an airhead, but it's not usually this bad. >And you too, Sasami! =/ You also >you two guys.. Uhmm.. Torankusu and Goten..! ^.^ Hey, Torankusu! How old are >you?" said Kiya'-Kiya' Kiyone. Ash: I didn't know that Kiyone was into car sales. Masato: Nah, that's just her crow impression. She does great bird calls! Brock: Let's see her do the Red-Footed Booby! (snigger) >"Uhhmm.. 18? Why is that?" asked Torankusu. "Ohhh, nothin'.... You just look >quite handsome for your age... =D" said Kiyone, Michelle: Really, what equals D? B plus C? >without any embarassment. She was watching t.v... So she thought nobody actully >cared. Brock: Well, she's right. Nobody does care. Least of all, us. Ash: For some odd reason, I wish I had a Nun-Zilla right now... >=/ Mihoshi blushed >a bit when she looked at Goten. "Erhh-Uhh.. Hey Goten! ^.^ I like your hair!" >said Kiyone, a little bit nervous to talk to him. Michelle: (Kiyone) And lettuce! I like lettuce! Brock: Funny, she wasn't nervous just a second ago. Ash: Then again, that was supposedly ten years ago. Michelle: I guess time travel makes Kiyone jittery... >"Heh, thanks! I like you too! I meaan!!! ::blushes:: I like your hair, too.." >said Goten... Goten and Mihoshi liked each other, >without a doubt... Michelle: Ummm, how could he tell? They haven't said a word to each other yet. Masato: Wow, what stimulating conversation! The romance is so thick in the air that I'm choking... Oh, wait. Just a hairball... > "Hey Goten! Do you like War God Police?"asked Mihoshi, with a smile on her >face. Brock: (Goten) No, but I'm rather fond of the Golden Girls. Masato: (Goten) And Judge Judy is so mentally-stimulating! Ash: Bring on the Dukes of Hazzard! >"Yeah! ^.^ I watch it every night!" >said Goten, answering Mihoshi's question. Brock: No, I thought he was answering Stephen Hawking's question about quantum mechanics! Ash: You'd think that a police officer would be a bit more persuasive with her interrogation. Masato: Then again, this is Mihoshi we're talking about... >"Great! I can show you my collection >of the episodes I recorded! I recorded most of the >episodes of it!"said Mihoshi. Michelle: (Nobuyuki) Hey, has anyone seen the tape of my and Achika's wedding? Brock: More like his special porn collection... >"Really? Let's watch some!" said Goten. "Okie! Masato: Okie from Muskogee? >^.~" said Mihoshi. Michelle: "Carrot dot squiggle?" Ash: Sounds like the title of a new B-52's song... Brock: (codger) Sounds like that new-fangledy cal-cul-us stuff! >Mihoshi then went upstairs. >Goten followed along. Mihoshi putted in a tape Masato: FORE!!! Michelle: I'm sorry, I didn't think the hole was big enough for a VHS. Ash: (Snake) Oh, no! Beta! Brock: I'm sorry, but one more Oscar-ism, and I'm going to have to give this fic the mega-super-duplex-uber-thumbs-down. >of one episode of War God >Police. Michelle: Mars Police? Does Raye know she has a police force? Brock: I'm sure she'd be surprised... >She then turned on the t.v. She then turned off the >lights. "Heh.. I turned off the lights so we can see the screen better. ^.^" >said Mihoshi, acting a little bit smarter than she is. Brock: Well, she'd almost have to, wouldn't she? Michelle: Any more dumb and she'd be speaking radish. Ash: Well, she's already speaking carrot! Masato: (Goten) Are you getting smart with me?! >"Okie, >dokie! ^.^" said Goten. --------------¯30 minutes later(r)-------------- Michelle: Wow, I didn't know you could trademark lengths of time! Masato: I call dibs on fourteen minutes! >"Gosh, >was that a great episode!" said Mihoshi. "Yeah... Hey! >Let's watch one more!" said Goten. "Okay!" said Mihoshi. She putted in the >tape. Brock: And I dub thee crap! Michelle: Took you that long? Brock: There's sex in it, I was willing to give it a chance... >They were both watching... > While Mihoshi was busy eating popcorn and watching, Goten then slowly and >softly placed his hand on hers. Ash: ...And tore it off, effectively killing the mood. Masato: Wasn't she busy eating popcorn? I never noticed she had more than two hands. Brock: If she does, then Goten is a lucky, lucky man! >Mihoshi then looked down at her hand. Mihoshi looked directly into Goten's >eyes.. "Goten......?"said Mihoshi, softly. "Mihoshi......" >said Goten... Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Masato: Rocky! >"THAT WAS A COOL PART!" they both say in unison. "YESH!" said >Goten. Ash: (Goten) Wine!! Bring me wine!!! >"Yup!" said Mihoshi. >--------------episode finished-------------- Masato: Woo-hoo! We get to go now! Michelle: Nope. Not hardly... Masato: But it said...! Brock: The story is a lying bastard. Never listen to it. Masato: DAMN YOU!!! Rest: (cover ears) Ouch... >"That was cool..." said Goten... Michelle: Pause for effect! Brock: He is an ac-TOR! ACTING! >"Yup..! That's the best episode I actully have. Heh...." said >Mihoshi. Ash: (Goten) Then I'd hate to see the worst one! Michelle: A guy being made to watch crappy TV shows... Sounds familiar... >"Goten... does Torankusu think you are clumsy at times?" asked >Mihoshi.. Masato: (Goten) Yeah, but then I kick his ass and he knows never to do it again. >"Yeah.. I feel bad sometimes when they >treat me like a stupid person.. Or they think I am dumb.. =/ "said Goten, >sadly.. Ash: Of course, that doesn't mean they're not right! Michelle: MORON this later! >"Same here.. Kiyone says I screw up alot... >She never told me if it was good or bad.. " said Mihoshi. Masato: You know, when she screams that you're a complete screw-up, that's usually not a good thing. Brock: My money's on "bad." >They both looked >directly into each other's eyes. -=-And just to let you >know, Goten is slightly smarter than Mihoshi.. There is a weird age difference. >=/ -=- Ash: Who said that?! Michelle: No, it's just that they used a time machine to go twenty years into the future. Or ten years. Or something... >"Goten........"said Mihoshi softly... >"......Mihoshi...." said Goten, softly also. Ash: Stirring variety of word choice in this fic. Almost like it was written by an eleven year old! Michelle: John! Brock: Marsha! Masato: That's enough of that... >Mihoshi's eyes let out a small >tear... "What's wrong, Mihoshi...?" asked Goten, softly. Masato: Wow! Deja vu! Almost like I've seen that word somewhere else... Michelle: (Mihoshi) I just realized that elves are living in my head! >Mihoshi let out a Michelle: (Kiyone) Oh, word, word, I'm looking for a word... >soft Michelle: (Kiyone) Ah, perfect! >kiss to Goten's cheek. "I'm sorry....." cried Mihoshi, >softly. "It's okae....." Goten said. Goten gave a >passionate kiss Ash: Yes, but was it soft? Brock: I've got it! Downy must be sponsoring this fanfic! Michelle: Don't squeeze the Charmin! >to Mihoshi. "Goten..!" said Mihoshi, quite surprised. No one >ever liked or loved Mihoshi, really.. Ash: Well, except for the millions of obsessive fanboys who absolutely adore her *talent*! Brock: Can you say, "manic depressive?" Masato: No, but I can say "soft!" Besides, I liked Mihoshi! Ash: I like her breasts, too. Masato and Michelle: . Michelle: My hand's getting kind of tired... Brock: >"I'm sorry... >I just never had someone kissed me before.."said Mihoshi. Masato: Well, that's just great! That's just fan-freakin'-tastic! Can we just move along please? It's not like there's anything to see here... >"Sorry... I think I >should have not done that...." said Goten, a bit worried. Michelle: Because it was only afterwards that he noticed the big cold sore on her lips. >Mihoshi then suddenly gave Goten a kiss.. "Mihoshi?? Wh-WHY??!! I thought you >never liked me! =/ "said Goten. Brock: Except that she's been staring at your crotch for the past two hours. Ash: (Mihoshi) THE WORLD IS MY CROTCH!!! >Mihoshi >suddenly said, "Hmmm? Why did you think I gave you that kiss, eh Goten? o.o;" Brock: (codger) That must be one of them dag-nabbed In-tern-net addresses! Masato: (Goten) I thought you thought I was choking! Ash: (Mihoshi) But I thought you thought I thought- Michelle: Stop. Both of you. >"I dunno.. =P" said Goten. "Hey, I think Sasami >cooked something! Masato: You mean, *for a change?!* Brock: Didn't they just eat two hours ago? Michelle: Ah, but that was twenty years ago! Brock: And they're still sitting at the table... Masato: Time travel's funny that way. >You wanna eat? I'm starvin'!" said Goten. Ash: Thank you, Mister Click-click-durk! >Mihoshi and Goten >ran downstairs. "Mmmmmmmm!! Miso soup! Michelle: Say not a word... Masato: I thought you so stupid! >My favorite!!" They both said in unison. "Last one to the table is a rotten >eggy!"yelled Goten. Brock: Too bad they didn't get ten years more mature! Michelle: Twenty years. Brock: Right twenty years. I hate time travel. Messy book-keeping... >Goten and Torankusu both used >their Zenzoken Masato: Oh, come on! That's like flying on a cloud to get somewhere! Who'd do it? >"I got here first!"said Goten. "No!! I did!"said Torankusu. "I >did!!!" said Torankusu "Nuuuhh! I DID!!!" >yelled Goten. Ash: (Tenchi) Now, don't you two make me come back there! I'll turn this dinner table right around! >"Damn!! XD You guys still do that?! And you're like... 18 or 17! Michelle: But wait, they traveled twenty years. How are they- OUCH! Brock: Now *that* is some messy book-keeping! Masato: (to Michelle) You should have known that thinking only makes it worse... Michelle: I'm in pain. Can you kiss it and make it better? Brock: OOO!!! OOoooooOOOO!!! I can! >Geeze! Grow up.. " said Kiyone. Brock: Well, just step in the time machine again! >"Ooops..." >Torankusu and Goten said in unison. "Hey, Mihoshi.. Do you mind passing the >rice?" said Goten munching on his food. Ash: (Mihoshi) Okay! Hey! You were supposed to catch it! Brock: (Goten) I'm not a wide-receiver for the Rams! Ash: (Mihoshi) That's not what you told me earlier! >"Okay." said Mihoshi, also munching on the food. She then passes the rice to >Goten. Michelle: Does this tense shift have something to do with the time machine? Brock: You look two tense, Kiyone. Lemme massage you a bit. Ash: I think Kiyone needs a time machine of her own... >"Sankyuu!!"said Goten. Masato: (Goten as Ace Ventura) Spank you very much! >Torankusu then sorta >looked at Sasami. Masato: Well, that's good. I'd hate it if he actually looked at Sasami. Sorta's okay. >-: Gee... I don't know.. Should I ask her out? Will she slap >me or something? Gosh... And the way she eats! Ash: (Trunks) Look at the way that tongue wraps around those chop-sticks! Wow! >She looks so damn cute! Gosh.. She would never like me... What about Washuu? Michelle: What about her? Brock: Any port in a storm, eh, Trunks? >Naahhh, I don't think so... >||!i~::record scratch::~i!|| Michelle: You know, that's the second time that's happened. Maybe you should just switch to CD. Masato: Nah, he's trying to be a rap artist! Brock: It's DJ Ice Saiyan! Word, B! >"Damn, Torankusu! You do like her!" said Goten, >placing a bowl underneath his chin. Michelle: To catch the bitter, bitter tears of resentment and rejection... Ash: To catch the drool as he looked down Mihoshi's blouse! >"Dude, would you >just lay off my business?" said Torankusu, a little angry. Masato: Goten and Trunks *are* Jesse and Chester in "Dude, Where's My Rice?" Ash: (Goten) Dude, where's my rice? Michelle: (Trunks) You ate it, dude. Ash: (Goten) Oh, yeah. Thanks, dude. Masato: The end. Michelle: So, what's on Raw? >"Woohoo! That means >you really do like her! 'Cause look! I have all your >drool here in this bowl! Hah!" said Goten, getting a little bit suspicious. Ash: Well, not exact, but, dammit! Brock: Man, if you haven't figured it out by now, you're an idiot deserving of Mihoshi. >"AHH! FINE!" yelled Torankusu. "Ok... FINE! =P " >said Goten. "::ehem:: Sasami!!!" said Torankusu. "Yeah? You asked?" said >Sasami, with a really sweet voice. Masato: Does she ever not have a sweet voice? Michelle: Come on, between takes, you know she uses a voice box! Ash: (Ned) It's coming right for us! >-: Crap, she's never >going to like me.. If I ask her out in public.. Everyone will laugh and then I >will be humiliated by everyone in the Masaki Shrine!:- Brock: (Trunks) And then I'd just have to go on *another* insane killing rampage! Michelle: The responsibilities of a Saiyan... Brock: (Trunks) But I won't cut them so small next time. I'm still picking little pieces of Frieza out of my hair! >"Uhh.. I'll tell you later.. Let's meet in your room." said Torankusu, munching >on his food. "Okay. Ooh, damn, I'm finished.. Ash: (Trunks) But we haven't even started! Michelle: That's the idea... >Okay, >I'll just watch some t.v. in my room. I'll wait." said Sasami. "Okay." said >Torankusu. Masato: Oh, for god's sake! Even Sasami's got a TV! Those frickin' ingrates! I never had my own TV! What does a guy have to do to get his own TV? I saved a dynasty from collapsing and destroyed a dissident faction while saving the lives of four of the royalty! I was engaged to the Princess of an empire! Can't I get at least a black and white, ten inch screen?! I mean, even Mihoshi's got her own TV, and she's an idiot! Really...! Michelle: You sound like you need a hug. Masato: I need a frickin' TV! > > Torankusu then finished his food, yet, he was really desperate to reveal >his true feelings for Sasami. Brock: I love how they skillfully connected two completely unrelated ideas! Ash: Like trying to install Windows on a Mac. >Torankusu then ran upstairs to Sasami's room. "Sasami?" said Torankusu. Ash: No, that's right down the hall. This is Ayeka's "fun" room. Masato: Oh, I know *all* about the Fun Room... >"Yeah, I'm here!" said Sasami, raising her hand behind her really tall sofa. Masato: Oh, now what's this?! She's got a big-ass sofa now? Did they win the lotto or something? Did a whole redecorating job to celebrate my death?! Really! All that's missing is the heart-shaped vibrating bed! Brock: No, it's right over there next to the Jacuzzi. >"Have a seat right next to me. There's enough room for >the 2 of us, you know. Please close the door, too." said Sasami. Ash: (Sasami) I want no one to hear your screams of pain... Brock: Oh, so she's freaky like that! Like I said, it runs in the family! Masato: Don't I know it... (fur-trimmed...) >Torankusu >closed the door, then sat by Sasami. "Sasami, do you >mind turning off the t.v.?"said Torankusu, softly. Michelle: Oh, and there it is! I was wondering how long it'd be before we saw our friend "softly" again... >"Okay... The show was kinda >boring too.. =P" Ash: (Sasami) I mean, really! How interesting can a show be that's called, "The Big O?" Brock: (Sasami) Almost as boring as this one show, "Dragonball Z!" Heard of it, Trunks? >said Sasami. Sasami then turned off >the t.v. "Okay.. Now what was it that you wanted to say?" asked Sasami. Brock: (Trunks) Sasquatch! Thank you for your time and attention... >"Uhmmm.. I was wondering..."said Torankusu, a bit >nervous. "Yeah?" asked Sasami. "....that if you wanted...." "Uh-huh......?" "to >go out...." Ash: (Trunks) ...With that Joey guy from N'Sync! Michelle: And how do *you* know their names? Ash: Just glancing through your music collection... >"Mmmmm-hmmm...?" "...with me....?"said >Torankusu. Torankusu felt dead right after he said that. Masato: You mean, he felt a searing, agonizing pain in his disemboweled body, as well? Michelle: Ah, the sniper hits his mark! Ash: Gosh! Frieza, King Cold, Cell, Buu; all that and just one bullet takes him out! The irony... >Sasami suddenly >blanked out. Brock: Sniper must have gotten her, too... Michelle: Must be Spike... Masato: (Trunks) Man, this always happens! I ask a girl out and it kills her! Maybe I should just ask to hold her hand first... Michelle: Or maybe he should actually get to know her a bit. Ash: Oh, what are you talking about? He's known her for twenty years! Brock: Ten years. Ash: I don't care anymore... >Without thinking, Torankusu then gave a >passionate kiss to Sasami. Sasami then followed along. Michelle: Not like she had any choice. Saiyans are pretty strong... Ash: Wait, I thought she was dead. Brock: He must have Lazarus Lips! >Her silk tank-top then >fell off by her shoulders. Masato: EXCUSE ME?!?! Now, as much as some unknown amount of time has passed, I doubt that Sasami'd be quite *that* easy! I mean, her sister took FIFTY YEARS and twelve dead armies before she'd even consider looking me in the eye! Michelle: Right. And you walked ten miles to GP headquarters each day. Uphill. Both ways. With no shoes. Or shirt. In the snow. (stops, eyes glazing over) Mmm, no shirt in the snow... >Torankusu then took off his >trench coat. Ash: ...Revealing his Matrix-esque cache of weapons, which he used to dispose of Sasami... with style... >Sasami then suddenly said, "Yes, I would!" Torankusu looked down >for a while. Brock: Oh, yeah, that's *real* appealing. Even I know better than to do that! Ash: Really smooth, Trunks... >He then smiled and looked directly >into Sasami's eyes. ".....I love you, Sasami Michelle: (Trunks) ...'s breasts! >...." Torankusu then said softly. Brock: Ah, yes. The old go-to for adverbs! Michelle: This is one of the softest fanfics I've ever read. I kinda like it... Ash: Are you sure? It's really hard on the brain. >"I... I love you too..." Sasami then gave a passionate >kiss to Torankusu. Sasami suddenly removed her tank-top and her skirt. Masato: Wait, it didn't already fall off? Oh, I get it! She was wearing two tank-tops because they didn't pay their heating bill so that they could afford the fifteenth television and the big, honkin' sofa! Ash: It's all coming together now... Michelle: Yes, like two Amtrak trains... >Torankusu then suddenly blanked out. He remained >speechless for a while, since Sasami was not wearing bra. -: Michelle: Wait, Trunks took out Sasami's colon? Masato: Nah, I doubt he's quite that evil. Might sorta' take it out. Brock: Ah, and then she'd only have a semi-colon! >This is it, >Torankusu.. Your chance to actully do something to her >body!! I knew you could do it!:-, Michelle: Oh, there's the problem! A colon minus a comma would be a semi-colon! Ash: Ah, grammatical mathematics are fun... Or not... >Torankusu thought. Torankusu frenched kiss >Sasami while he started massaging her breast. Brock: But only one, since doing both would be ostentatious. Masato: Guys, I don't know if I can do this... This is not something I know I can handle! Handling this is not something I know I can do!! Not handling this is something that I may possibly do! >Torankusu then removed his bandana and his black shirt. "Sasami.. are you >ready?"whispered Torankusu to Sasami. "Yes... I am..." Ash: (Sasami) Ready to go SHOPPING! Masato: (Spike) Maybe this is it. The one I won't come back from... the end. Brock: Stop being so melodramatic! You're already dead! >said Sasami, not really sure.. She then really loved Torankusu, but she wasn't >really sure if she really DID loved him. Masato: Oh, THAT'S IT! The one line that would make this fic complete! The contradictory sentence that bowled over all other errors and my sanity in one swift blow! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to eat my own tongue. Michelle: Can I help?! Masato: Threat withdrawn... >Torankusu >then suddenly fingered Sasami's arousel. Sasami suddenly cumed. Brock: You know, I think that's the fastest lemon scene I've ever read! Michelle: (Washu) Trunks has magic fingers! >"Oh, gosh...." >said Sasami, softly. Brock: Yeah, don't worry about the sexual crescendo or anything. Not really a climax to worry about. You know, nothing important like actual human anatomy... >"Torankusu.... Please... >Be easy..."she said, crying a bit. Michelle: (Trunks) Well, you seemed to be so easy, so I guess I will. >"Don't worry" he said. Torankusu then >removed his shorts. The only thing that was remaining >was his boxers. Michelle: You know, I never figured that Trunks was a boxers man. Brock: Especially not a "My Little Pony" boxers man! >Sasami and Torankusu started kissing each other until they fell >to the bed. Masato: Ah, so they were on the ceiling, were they?! Washu's anti-gravity bed- room worked perfectly! Brock: Well, Sasami and Trunks haven't given it the true test yet... >They both went under the covers of the >bed. Torankusu then removed his boxers. A small tear ran down Sasami's cheek. Ash: (Sasami) Gods, Trunks, your feet smell like onions! Brock: (Trunks) Well, your breath smells like cabbit! >She then felt a little worried about her being >in bed with Torankusu. Sasami then softly moaned. "I love you, Torankusu..."she >said softly. Michelle: Wow, two softlies within a sentence of each other! >"I love you too, Sasami.." Torankusu >said as he was kissing her. Ash: Must have come out a little bit slurred, then. Masato: Hold it, what was she worried about?! Brock: Wait, not all is well in Tenchi-ville? Ignore it! All impurities must be quelled from the story! Ash: Then why is that lemon scene still there? Brock: Because starvation is a problem that affects us all. Michelle: Let's get out of here, guys... Reverse Door sequence End Part one