"First Date" A Sailor Moon/DBZ lemon crossover MSTing With two shorts By: M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu) and Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris (lardalmighty@netscape.net) Original fics by: carlos999 (no e-mail given), sailor venus (no e-mail given), and Daughter of the Forest (j720angel@aol.com) Okay, I've been in a bit of a rut recently, writing and MSTing-wise, but it's finally back to work! Writer's blocks suck big-time. Anyway, we thought that we'd start with something small because of school work and whatnot. That and these fifty page efforts're starting to wear a bit thin on us. Anyway, getting right on to it, standard pre-MSTing disclaimer here. I don't own MST3K. Best Brains does. I didn't create MST3K. Joel Hodgeson did. I don't own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha do. I don't own DBZ. Akira Toriyama does. I don't own Tenchi Muyo. Naoko Hasegawa apparently does. I don't own Pokemon. Nintendo and Game Freaks does. I don't own "Tenchi in Tokyo," "Tenchi's Decision," or "First Date." Carlos999, sailor venus, and Daughter of the Forest do. I tried getting ahold of the first two authors, but was unable to. No personal insult is meant by this MSTing to any of the authors or their fics. It's just a different style of critiquing them. I made the character of Michelle Thomden. Craig owns Masato Kiriyama. If you want to use either of them, then ask us. Any other products that are mentioned during the course of the MSTing are the property of their respective owners. Trust me, I don't own anything (not yet, at least. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!) Anyway, if there's nothing else, then, we'll get on with it... In the not-too distant future, Next Sunday A.D. There were some bitchin' trainers, Pokemon trainers to you and me. They wandered 'round the world to become the best, Trying to beat out all the rest, They did well for a while, But then they lost one little battle And were shot into space (Ash: Pi-ka-chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!) We'll send them crapy fanfics, The worst we can find(la, la, la!) They'll have to sit and watch them all And we'll monitor their minds.(la, la, la!) Now keep in mind Ash can't control when the fanfics begin and end He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his trainer friends! (Poke roll call!) Cambot! (We're on!) Misty! (Splish, splash!) Michelle! (I'm not a trainer) Broooooock! (I'm back!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts, Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a fanfic I should really just relax!" For Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000!(TWAAAANG!) Reverse door sequence The scene opens in the living room of the Satellite, where Ash is sitting in front of the television, a glazed look crossing his face. Static runs across the screen and white noise floats eerily through the room. Michelle walks in, licking a Popsicle and followed by Brock and Misty. "Hey there, everyone, welcome to the Satellite of Love, Mark 3," Michelle greets. "Brock's been taking a bit of time off from working on the trading machine to regroup and meditate." "So far, it hasn't done anything for my clarity," Brock says. "Nor his common sense," Misty replies. Brock sticks his tongue out at her in response. "And I've recovered from my injuries for the most part," Michelle continues. "The only thing is-" she touches the metal doorknob on the door to the kitchen, and her hair jumps on end as though she's doing a demonstration in a physics class on electrostatic energy. When she removes her hand, her hair falls clumsily back to her head in complete disarray. "Hey, don't feel so bad about it," Misty says. "I've heard that the electron-blown look is in this year." "We were just about to go for a space-walk to give the Pokemon some exercise," Michelle says. "Hey, Ash, you ready to go for walkies?" No reply emerges from Ash, whose eyes remain glued to the screen. "Hey, Ash! Wakey-wakey!" Misty exclaims, walking over and tapping him on the top of the head. Still no reply. Michelle joins her and wakes her hand through Ash's field of vision. "Well, he isn't dead," Michelle replies as he blinks. "Anyone got any idea what's been going on here?" "He told me a couple of hours ago that he was going to be 'training himself,'" Brock replies. "That would explain these," Misty says, holding up a set of video tapes from the floor beside Ash's beanbag chair. "What are they?" Michelle asks. She reaches for the tapes and scans the titles. "Five bucks says it's porn," Brock sighs, frowning. "No, even worse," Michelle sighs. "Listen to this, Serial Experiments Lain, Neon Genesis Evangelion, End of Evangelion, and Rah Xephon." "What was he watching last?" Misty asks. Michelle pushes open the VCR's slot and replies, "Angel's egg." "Oh... my... god..." Misty whispers, in shock. "What's the big deal? It's not like we haven't gone on anime binges before," Brock says. "Oh, these aren't just any animes," Misty replies nervously. "These are some of the most confusing, mind-freaking animes ever made!" "These are series that you shouldn't watch more than two episodes unless you're on morphine or unless you've had a lobotomy!" Michelle exclaims. "So, I'm guessing that he's going to be out for a while," Brock replies. "There's only one way to treat this ailment," Michelle exclaims, reaching in the drawer underneath the TV. She pulls out a video tape and switches it into the VCR. "He needs an immediate infusion of mindless anime goodness to purge him of the head-heavy anime. The first step is Hellsing!" "Good call, Michelle!" Brock exclaims. "Thanks," Michelle replies. "Now, we should tell the sirs about this." As if by summon, the red Mads light begins flashing. Michelle presses it and turns to Cambot. Deep 251 The camera opens to the sight of two enormous, brown eyes and the sound of a voice saying, "Chii?" On the satellite, all action stops, and the only sound is of gunshots from the television in the background. "My god, she's so *cute!*" Michelle exclaims, staring back into Chii's eyes. "I-I can't move!" Misty adds. "Chii?" Chii asks. Her eyes continue their death grip on the satellite- goers. "What's going on in here?" Jesse asks, rushing into the room. She looks at the Satellite viewer and sees what's going on. "Chii, how many times have I told you how to work this thing? And don't stare at them! Geezes, we don't want to kill them!" "Chii?" Chii asks, looking back at Jesse. Jesse looks into her eyes and trails off. "Awww, I can't stay mad at you! You're just so cute! Now, you go into the other room and work on the progress report," Jesse exclaims, bending down to pat Chii on the head. "Anyway, snap out of it, lunk-heads! It's time for the experiment for this week. Where's the brat?" "He's kinda' out of it at the moment. He watched the Forbidden Animes marathon style, and his brain went on vacation," Michelle replies. "Oh, for Pete's sake, would you people try staying healthy for at least a week?" Jesse asks. "Anyway, we've just found out that the other Satellite torturing department is planning a hostile take-over of our department. So, we're working on preparing for it. Right now, James and Meowth are out buying supplies." "Really? Who's trying to take you down, anyway?" Michelle asks. "I don't really know," Jesse replies. "I didn't even know that there was another satellite torturing department. And apparently, they've already driven their victims crazy! We can't let them just waltz in here and take us over like that!" "Well, good luck," Michelle says. "Now, since we're short one guy..." "I'll have your love toy up there in a couple of minutes," Jesse sighs, picking up the cell phone. Just then, the door opens and James and Meowth walk in, carrying plastic bags labeled "Gun 'N Fun" and full of large, heavy weapons. "Welcome back, boys, what all'd you get?" "Well, we were short about five bucks of being able to get a rocket launcher, so we just picked up three Uzis, two grenade launchers, and a laser- sight pistol. They were running a special," James replies. "Oh, great! But didn't I specifically tell you to pick up a pack of land mines?" Jesse asks. "They were all sold out," Meowth replies. "Oh, great, just when we'll need them the most..." Jesse sighs. "Shouldn't you be sending them the experiment soon?" James asks. "Well, I suppose-" She's interrupted by a knock on the front door. "Meowth, could you check that?" "Sure," Meowth says, walking to open the port. Outside stand Butch and Cassidy, waving cheerily. "Hiyee, everyone! We're here for our hostile takeover!" Cassidy says, walking through the door. Butch follows closely behind her, carrying a clip- board and a roll of wall-paper. "Umm, excuse me?" Jesse asks. "Yeah, we're taking over. Now," Cassidy says. "And exactly how are you backing this up?" James asks as he begins to try and loom menacingly over Butch. "We're going to show you how to do it by taking care of your little problem with those people up there!" Cassidy replies nonchalantly. "Oh, really? And exactly how do you want to do that?" Jesse asks. "And why don't you have any guns to back yourself up?" "Guns?! Geez! And you call yourself a pokemon trainer!" Butch exclaims. "Now, stand aside and watch as we show you how it's done!" "James, Meowth, lock and load," Jesse says. "I don't think that the Boss would appreciate that very much," Cassidy says. Jesse growls and stares them down as they move to the camera. "Now, everyone, we've got a four-part pummeling for you today," Cassidy says calmly. "First, we've got a little ditty called, 'Tenchi in Tokyo," by Carlos999, followed by 'Tenchi's Decision,' by Sailor Venus. Your main feature is a two-parter called 'First Date,' by Daughter of the Forest. You may have survived up until now, but I'll watch on as you suffer and gloat over your screams of pain! Send them the fics, Butch!" A soft poof behind the group announces Masato's arrival on the Satellite, followed closely by the sound of Michelle squealing excitedly. "You know, guys, I like seeing you and all, but this is kinda' starting to get old," Masato comments as the lights begin flashing and the klaxons go off. "No time for that now! We've got fanfic sign!" Michelle exclaims, running into the theater with the others close behind her. Door 6: A solid wall. A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it. Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it. Door 4: A drawbridge. It falls, missing your feet by a few inches. Door 3: A wall of fire. You get Squirtle to put it out. Door 2: A large hand. All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 1.5 (the sheet of paper) Door 1: A vault door. You turn the handle and it swings open easily. The group walked into the theater and took their normal places, Michelle trying fervently to sit in Masato's lap. Masato: You just don't give up, do you? Michelle: Please?! I'll be your friend! Masato: With friends like that... >one day tenchi was walking home from school,he saw a beutifle girl >named sonia. Michelle: Masato, Do you think I'm beutifle? Masato: Only if I'm really, really drunk. Brock: Sounds good! Bring on the tequila! Misty: Wow, it's a Mortal Kombat crossover! Masato: And now, Tenchi and Sonia will fight with knives! Michelle: Well, I don't think that Vash would object at all. >when she went up to him and said hello my name is sonia >what is your name. Brock: (Tenchi) I am known by only one name: RAOUL! Misty: (Tenchi) Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Some call me the Gangster of Love... Brock: (Tenchi) My name's Peanut. I'm a woozle. >tenchi face started geting red and said my name is >te,te,te,te,tenchi. Michelle: (Sonia) Well, it's nice to meet you, Mister Tetetetetenchi. I've got to go over here right now... Brock: (Sonia) You know, I know a good speech therapist that could fix that right up for you. >sonia stared at him and said your cute. Misty: (Tenchi) Hold it, I've already got six chicks at home and a couple more in Tokyo who tell me the same thing fifteen times daily. Don't you start on me. Brock: Wow, I always tell myself that very same thing! Aren't I just the greatest? >tenchi began being >shy Masato: He *began* being shy?! Apparently, you haven't been paying attention to the past three TV series. Michelle: So, he was more shy than usual? What'd he do, curl into a fetal position under a blankie? >and had nothing to say. Brock: Except for reciting every one of Shakespeare's sonnets in numerical and chronological order. Misty: (Tenchi) So, I like that name. Would you like to have some of my...... sex? >all what tenchi said was thank you,you are prety >want to go out with me. Masato: At which point Ryoko and Ayeka show up and beat both of them into a bloody pulp. Michelle: Okay, that's not really Tenchi. It must be Bizarro Tenchi. Brock: (Tenchi) Hello, my name is Tenchi. I am from Paris, and I have come to have sex with your family! >tenchi said that auto maticly.sonia said sure why not. Misty: (Sonia) Oh, by the way, before we go out, my boyfriend'll be dropping by in about an hour and a half, so we'll have to do the nasty kinda' quick. Masato: But it hasn't been five hours yet! >sonia face was red to. Michelle: Wow, Sonia Face. I bet they have a good time with her letters down at the post office. Brock: Could be worse. Her mother's maiden name was Buttocks. >tenchi said how about tomorrow >at 7:00 Masato: (Sonia) You mean seven in the morning?! I don't wake up until three in the afternoon at the earliest! Michelle: I guess that American college student mentality's rubbing off in Japan of late. >we can get ice cream if you want. Michelle: (Tenchi) Or we could go for the destruction derby! I've heard they put on a good show! Brock: (Tenchi) Or, we could get together and sweep a shrine for about five, six hours! That's great fun! >sonia said ok >see ya tomorrow.tenchi said ok see ya tomorrow. Misty: Then, Sonia said, stop copying me! Then, Tenchi said, stop copying me! Michelle: Oh, they're just so alike! It's almost like Mutsumi and Keitaro! Brock: In that they're both dorks. >why did i ask her >out for said tenchi. Masato: Well, because you're a sexually frustrated, neurotic shrine-keeper from the boondocks. Isn't that reason enough? Michelle: (Tenchi) It's as though some strange power made me do something incredibly strange and out of character! But how in the world could that happen? >when tenchi got home the girls was mad at tenchi. Misty: (Ryoko) You left the damn toilet seat up again! How many times have we told you, dammit?! Michelle: (Ryoko) You arranged a hot date for sex with a girl and didn't invite me? How dare you! >tenchi said why are you all staring at me. Brock: (Tenchi) Come on! I just went wardrobe shopping at the Elton John Boutique! Michelle: Pelican feather boas are *so* becoming of Tenchi. >the girls said we saw it all >how you was all over her. Masato: (Tenchi) Wow, so I've got a bunch of stalkers living with me? Misty: (Tenchi) I knew that getting Ayeka those spy novels for Christmas wasn't a good idea! >tenchi said over who. Michelle: Over the river and through the woods? Brock: (Ryoko) All over Sonia. In the conservatory. With the wrench. >ryoko said >you all over sonia this after noon.tenchi said how did you know. Brock: (Ryoko) Well, I had the Study card, the Handgun card, the Mr. Green card, and, well, you're none of them. Masato: Oh, come on, Tenchi! You know they routinely stalk you for kicks! Misty: (Tenchi) Oh, so that's what the unmarked black helicopter was! >washu said i maid a expirament that whatever you see we see.and i >made that as a seed. Brock: (snickers) Odd, I thought that Tenchi was the one- Michelle: You stop right there. >and that seed creates any thing it want to be. >and that is why you was eating liver and onions. Masato: (Washu) And listening to Deep Forest on the way home and painting your shoes yellow. You know, Tenchi, we really need to talk... Misty: (Tenchi) Oh, so *that's* what that tumor on the top of my head was! Man, and I was about to start worrying... >tenchi said oh you mean liver and carits.washu said liver and carits??? Michelle: (Tenchi) Yeah, Washu, they're like cheez-its, only with cars. Misty: It's an acquired taste. >it was already the day of the date. Brock: But wait a minute, I thought that they were still on the same day. Masato: Maybe Washu used her time machine again. Misty: (Tenchi) Come on, Washu! Another ten years, and maybe I'll finally be romantically appealing to somebody sane! >tenchi drank alot of prume juice to >dijest the chip. Misty: Oh, my god, Tenchi's turning into Melvin! Michelle: Then, he took off his five-inch-thick glasses, squinted into Sonia's eyes and asked, "Would you like to take a look at the insect exhibit at the science center?" >sonia said that she likes vanilla >more than any ice cream Brock: Which was kind of off-topic, since they were in a hardware store. Masato: Because she likes her ice cream like she likes her men; sweet and grown on a tree! >tenchi and sonia ate mkore than 5 >vanilla ice cream. Brock: All in all, the most nutritious meal that Tenchi had had in a month! Misty: And then, they had to go get their stomachs pumped, since 5 gallons of ice cream is way too much for anyone in one night. Masato: This is my case for the resurgence of the vomitorium! >tenchi saked her if they can go to the movies >to watch the new movie called my date with a deamon. Misty: Because you should always get your date drunk before going out to a movie! Lesson for life #4238, kids! Brock: (Sonia) Tenchi, how'd you know that I like monster tentacle rape animes! Michelle: (slaps Brock) Besides, those people aren't too hard to spot. And avoid. >after the movie tenchi and sonia went to a bar and >tenchi drank three beer and got drunk. Masato: Lightweight! >sonia said >that tenchi can spend the night at her house. Brock: Wow, now that's a role reversal! Misty: Then again, it *is* Tenchi we're talking about here. He's the feminine one in *any* relationship. >when they got at her house sonia took off his clothes >and gave tenchi a bath. Masato: You know, Tenchi, you're acting about as seductive right now as a toaster oven. Misty: Once again, it *is* Tenchi. >when it was morning sonia >said finaly you woke up were going to be late.tenchi and sonia got to school >in time. Michelle: It's the Tenchi cast in their rendition of "A Day in the Life!" Masato: (announcer) Tenchi Masaki, THIS IS YOUR LIFE! And it's BORING! >for the test while the test sonia was thinking her future with Misty: ...Brad Pitt. Brock: (Sonia) And tomorrow, we'll go out for Chocolate ice cream, and then, maybe after a couple of dates, I can work up the courage to try Cookie dough flavor together! Masato: Oh, I hear wedding bells! >tenchi. >tenchi passed sonia passed. Michelle: ...Go and collected 200 dollars. Misty: (Tenchi) Yeah! My little doggie didn't land in jail this time around, bizitch! >it was already two yaers and >tenchi took out a ring and asked sonia to marry him. Misty: Despite the fact that they hadn't said or done anything during the previous two years. Michelle: And to top it off, they had it done in Vegas! Brock: Wow! Looks like they used Washu's time machine on *us!* >sonia acepted.8 years has laready passed they have >cute litle twins named ashley and sora. Masato: And one of them lives on an island and wields a keyblade. And I don't think that I have to say which one that is. Brock: Well, I guess it's a lemon in the sense that they implied that sex occurred at some point during that time. Misty: It's a lemon in the sense that lemon-scented dish detergent is a lemon. >sora got to be a litle out of the >ordanyry >and only spends time outside her home. Misty: Oh, come on! All kids perform satanic rituals behind the house at some point in their lives! It's just a phase! >ashley has got to be a teachear but she >is 15 years old and graguated high school >early than her relatives. Michelle: Yeah, Washu definitely used her time machine here. Brock: Now, wouldn't it be weird if it turned out that Sonia was really Ashley? Michelle: If we had twins, what would you want to name them? Masato: In that off chance, Vicious and Knives. Michelle: I'm sorry I asked... Masato: Not as sorry as I am. >It was a rainy day and Tenchi was sitting, staring out the window drinking >some ginsing tea. >"NO!!!! Tenchi likes me more!!!! You're just an idiot if you think he likes >you!!!!" Brock: Oddly enough, it was Katsuhito and Nobuyuki arguing at that point. Masato: They must have broken out Nobuyuki's secret stash. >"Not again,",Tenchi moaned,"5...4...3...2...1..." Misty: Happy New Year's! (singing) Should old acquaintance be forgot... >"TENCHI!!!! Who do you like more? Me, the lovely Princess Ayeka, or the stupid >dumpster rat Ryoko?" Brock: (Tenchi) Actually, I prefer Mihoshi. I guess dumb blondes just get me right here... >"Uhhhhh, please, let go!!!" > Ryoko and Ayeka where squeezing Tenchi as hard as they could, Misty: You know, that's really not a good idea. Remember what happened to Kaworu, guys! Michelle: And now, he's got no head. >"Please! Let......." Tenchi had started, then...CRASH!!! > The window was broken, and there, stood Sailor Moon, >Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus Misty: Followed closely by Sailor Brooklyn, Sailor Sponge, Sailor Ham and Cheese Sandwich, Sailor Plumber, and Sailor Brick Patio! Brock: Man, what a gyp! We didn't even get to see them transform! Masato: At least, there's no *PINK THING*... >all in their eternal forms. They were chasing a demon sent by >Sailor Star Galectia, the most powerful enemie of the Sailor Scouts. >"Venus rolling heart vibration!!!" shouted Sailor Venus. Brock: Well, that's the perfect attack for Mina! Bet she uses it more often than in battle... Michelle: (slaps Brock again) Dude, take a morphine. >"AHHHHH!!!!", screeched the monster, it died. >"Aaaaaaaaaaaahh...*stomp clap clap snap* ACE!!!" Misty: Oh, they were playing a game of high card! Masato: (Venus) Well done, Batman, but how's this? I got the joker! Brock: (Moon) Wait, I think she's trying to signal something to us! What's that, Venus? Rini fell down the well? Well, we can leave her easily enough... >"Ok, who are you???", asked Tenchi >"You don't know who we are? Why, I'm Brock: (Moon) The President of Nigeria, and I've got a business opportunity for you! Michelle: And I thought that those people only stuck to E-mails... >Sailor Moon," >"and I'm Sailor Mercury," >(This went on for all of the Sailor Scouts) Misty: And I'm Sailor Penguin! Michelle: They get the point... >"Heh,heh,heh,heh, uuhhhh, I, I got to go, Brock: (Tenchi) Why I laugh? Michelle: (Tenchi) I guess them carrot fields won't hoe themselves! >I'm >sure Sasami can aid to you all," Tenchi blushed >while saying that. Misty: (Sasami) Well, thanks for the volunteer, Tenchi! I just appreciate that so frickin' much! Masato: As an indentured servant, that is her role. > > "So, Tenchi," said Washu" YEA!!! >I'm Washu, the smartest person in the galaxy!! >Ha ha ha ha ha!! Oh, ahem, so, Tenchi, it seems that >ooh, your in love with, with the goddess of love and light!" Brock: (Tenchi) Hold it, I haven't even told you anything yet! I just walked through the door! Masato: What, she didn't tell you that she reads minds, too? That's just how cool she is. >"Fine, Sailor Venus. I'm in love with her", admitted Tenchi. Misty: (Tenchi) Wow, that didn't hurt a bit! I should've done this years ago! Masato: Well, wait until Ryoko hears about it... Michelle: I'm sorry, but if I can't buy Ami falling for Urawa after two episode, I can't buy this one. > >Back out of Washu's lab.... >Mina, ( Sailor Venus's true identity), Michelle: No, REALLY! Man, you've got to be shittin' me! I would have bet my soul it was Andrew! Misty: Whoah, Sailor Stars all over again! >and Tenchi where >all alone, Tenchi was deciding on which to tell her his secret or not, Brock: (Tenchi) Mina, I enjoy listening to Deep Forest and eating liver and onions. Oh, that didn't come out right at all... >"Uh, uum, Mina,I have got to tell you something, I, well, you," >"Hush, I know, I know you, and I love you too." Michelle: (Mina) Oh, wait, that's the emotion where you want to eat a lot, right? No, I mean, I'm hungry, make me a sandwich NOW. >"So, you want to go on a date with me?" >"Sure! Wait I've heard Ayeka and Ryoko arguing over you, they can't know!" >"They never will know." Misty: (Tenchi) I'll just get my pal Guido to "take care of them," ifyaknowwhatimean... >"How about tonight, my room, no one else sleeps in there, but me." Misty: (Tenchi) And occasionally a sex-crazed space pirate. But don't mind her too much... >"Sure! After they have all gone to bed, I'll sneak to your room." > >When everyone was sleeping.... Brock: (Checks watch) Yup, six hours on the dot! Masato: Dude, it's Mina. She only needs two! >"Tenchi, are you there?" >"Yea, come in sexy lady." >"He, he, oh Tenchi..." Misty: (Mina) Oh, Darien... I mean, oh, Keitarou... I mean, oh, Greg... I mean, oh, Ryoko... >"Come here....." > Mina walked over to the >bed and sat down. Michelle: (Mina) You know, Tenchi, I really wasn't expecting a heart-shaped waterbed with a mirror on the ceiling... >"Oh, Tenchi, let's be naughty," >"Sure..." Michelle: No, I'm sorry, but that's gotta be one of James's clones escaped. Brock: Hey, Tenchi! There goes Greg! >10min later..... >"Oh Tenchi, youre hands are so warm, andyour pussy!!!" All: (double-take, then burst out laughing) Misty: (snickering) Ummm, Tenchi, is there something you haven't been telling us? Masato: I bet Ayeka's glad she chose me after all! >"Yes, and I love your ta-ta's." Michelle: Wait, now, in light of the last line, is that Tenchi or Mina who's saying that? >"I can ride you all night!!! Harder, HARDER Tanchi!!!" >They had sex all night. Misty: Wait, it's the Crying Game, all over again! Michelle: Another example of a great ending line ruined by all the previous ones! Brock: So, hold it, if Tenchi was... then, what's the deal with Mina? Masato: Apparently, she doesn't really care, either way. Seems perfectly in character to me. > >So... it is a little short, but my next one might be longer, and maybe sexier >or maybe not anymore sexier!!! It will be based on the same thing though. Misty: So, more people who've never met before jumping into bed for no apparent reason and suddenly mistaking the other person's sex? Great! I think the Internet needs more of those! (doors open) Masato: Hey, guys, we get a break Reverse Door Sequence Outside, Michelle is sitting in front of a chemistry set with safety goggles on her face and grinning maniacally. As she pours a small amount of a green liquid to mix with a larger vial of purple liquid, a stereotypical poof of smoke rises from the vial, sending her into fits of stereotypical maniacal laughter. Brock walks into the room and waves the smoke out of his face. "Hey, Michelle, what's all this stereotypical laughing and smoke about?" he asks, noting the chemistry set. "Well, Brock, as much as that first short sucked, there was one thing of interest in it that I thought I could use the invention that Washu used on Tenchi to find out what Masato really wants," Michelle replies, still grinning slightly. "And then, get this, I'll give it to him! "Hold it, though, won't he already have it?" Brock asks. "Brock, are you talking smack about my plans to seize happiness?!" Michelle exclaims, looming menacingly over him. "No'm," Brock replies meekly, cringing against the wall behind him. "Good," Michelle says, returning to her seat. She fans the smoke away and pours the contents of the beaker into a small petri dish sitting over a Bunsen burner. "Hold it, they didn't say anything in the fic about how to make one of those things! How'd you figure it out?" Brock asks. "Didn't you know? Washu runs a blog where she explains all of her experiments," Michelle replies, turning on the computer screen behind her. Brock peeks on the screen and begins to read aloud. "'Monday the 25th, Another one of my experiments almost blew up the house today. And everyone else in the house had the nerve to act as though it was all my fault! I'll show them all! 5:30, Maniacal laughter for the next half hour,'" Brock read. "That's some real quality scientific research there..." "Isn't it, though?" Michelle replies. A moment later, a small explosion erupts from the Petri dish, sending Michelle for cover under the desk. When she peeks out again, a small seed floats inches above the deck, ready for use. "Excellent!" Michelle exclaims. "Now, go, my pretty! Let me know how to catch my fish!" The seed floats lazily from the room, wavering just before crossing the threshold. "Seemed kind of lackadaisical," Brock commented. "Never mind that, let's just see what it is that Masato wants," Michelle comments, rushing towards the living room. Brock follows, curious about the results, as well. When they arrive, Masato is sitting on the floor beside Ash, staring at the wall with a surprised look on his face. A large bump sits atop his head where the seed implanted itself. "Masato, what's wrong?!" Michelle exclaims, sitting down beside him. "Oh, you guys, great timing," Masato replies. "I'm about to ask you something very strange, but please, humor me. Please tell me that you two see Ethyl Merman singing Silent Night on the ceiling over there." He points towards the corner of the room. "Michelle, I think something went wrong," Brock sighs. "Now, you've got to fix him before we go back in. He can take mindless sex, but I think he'd have a problem with Ethyl Merman for forty-five minutes." "Great... That's the last time I take directions from somebody who writes in their blog about maniacal laughter..." Michelle sighs, walking back into her workroom. (commercial break: take a moment to get some Funyuns, fall asleep for two or three minutes, or even watch the damn things. Nothing like losing a couple more brain cells to advertising execs...) Door 6: A solid wall. A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it. Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it. Door 4: A drawbridge. It falls, missing your feet by a few inches. Door 3: A wall of fire. You get Squirtle to put it out. Door 2: A large hand. All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 1.5 (the sheet of paper) Door 1: A vault door. You turn the handle and it swings open easily. All walk into the theater and take their normal seats. Masato: Well, at least Ethyl's gone. She had gotten all the way up to "five golden rings..." Misty: And you can still hear just fine? >Stepping Out of the House ( Chapter 1 ) Brock: (singing) I'm steppin' out... with my baby...! > >She finished applying her soft pink lipstick, which accented her porcelain >skin perfectly. Misty: So, what, she's a Royal Doulton figurine now? Michelle: The Precious Moments series is proud to present its first adult- oriented line of figurines! Brock: Number one in the series, "Oops, I forgot my bra!" >After putting on her "rock star" tee shirt with her sand >blasted jeans. She waited in the living room for her blind date to arrive. Masato: He may be old, but Ray Charles still gets around! Michelle: (Serena) Well, she said that he was seven feet tall, had no hair, and a tattoo of Steak and kidney pie on his chest, but he can't be all that bad, right? >All she knew about him was that he was really cute and well built guy >named...um...oh that's right Trunks... hi name was Trunks. Masato: Hold it, he dumped Sasami?! What about those blissful five hours they spent together?! Brock: Just make sure if he starts glowing, you get the hell out of the room. >Her friend Rose >set her up with him. Misty: Rose... Well, we have confirmation, the fic is officially the dubbed version! Michelle: Which means that it will suck by premise... Brock: Amara, my ass... cousins, my ass... >Rose knew a lot of guys because she only lived with >her brother. Masato: At least, that's what she told Serena. Brock: By day, mild-mannered high-schooler. By night, she's Super Stripper!! >She turned off the TV and then the doorbell rang. Misty: Almost as if it was scripted! >*Outside* >Trunks stood there staring at the door. Michelle: Okay, guys, sit back and relax. You know how these DBZ boys can be. Masato: Twenty minutes later... (Trunks) I... I can't move! The door is so powerful!!! >He was really nervous. Misty: He'd never seen a plank of wood like this before. It made him nervous! >Rose didn't >really tell him that much about his date Serena (at least he can remember >her name) Brock: Well, that's all he'll be needing later! (poom!) Michelle: Well, that and that she ate like a Hoover vacuum cleaner, and he'd need to be a lotto winner to take her out. >all she said was that he would have a good time. >*Inside* Michelle: Meanwhile, on the streets outside, Elliot Ness and his Untouchables speed to the scene of the crime! >Serena opened the door only to be greeted by a lavender haired hottie Misty: (Serena) Celine! I've missed you! Brock: Hyatt had collapsed *again* trying to catch Menchi. Masato: (Serena) Oh, great! The pizza guy's finally here! Make sure you leave enough space on the counter for the Chinese food delivery boy. He should be around any minute! >(hehehe). His clothes made him look even hotter Masato: That's because he was on fire! Misty: Hey, it's a Buddhist monk! Brock: (Striker) And you see, Trunks, that's when it all started to fall apart for Elayne and me... >he was wearing baggy jeans >with a blank tang top Brock: Ah, Tang, sweet elixir of life! Orangey companion to all college students in need of liquid refreshment! Misty: Hold it, his shirt was made out of fish? Michelle: It must be the new line from Calvin Klein. Masato: Ichthyology for Men... >that showed off his 6 pack perfectly Brock: Well, how about that! He brought the beer! How dashing of him! Masato: Well, I sure hope it's Captain Morgan's! Both: (singing) Big, blazing ball... of fire!!! Michelle: (looking at Misty) Pretend you don't know them... >and the vest >that went over it accented his arm muscles to a point. Michelle: Yeah, but after that, it would have just been silly! Misty: Really! He's already one big muscle with like three bones in his body! >Trunks couldn't >help but stare at her. Masato: With his eyes twitching... Misty: (Trunks) My God! She's so stupid! >The "rock star' shirt showed her belly and Trunks >thought it was lovely. Brock: (Trunks) She has an outtie! And it looks like a corn dog! >The jeans totally flashed her figure to him. Michelle: (Trunks) You *are* the disco inferno! Misty: So, she was wearing Saran Wrap? Trunks, you dog! >It was >silent for a while when >Serena said, Misty: (Serena) Need... sweet... CHOCOLATE!!! Masato: (Serena) You're paying for this, right? Because I haven't got a job or parents or anything like that. Brock: (Serena) I like lettuce! >"You must be Trunks, Rose said you were a cutie". Michelle: (Serena) And she must be flippin' blind! >" Thanks", Trunks answered, " So are you ready for an adventure"? Misty: (Trunks) Because a giant space goat is about to destroy the planet, and it wants to fight me for no apparent reason! Brock: (Trunks) Ready for an adventure? In bed? With me...? >"Anything you got I can deal with" She said evilly, "hot stuff". Brock: (Trunks) That's good, because I need you to take care of these parking citations I got while I was standing here staring at your insanely perplexing door... >~Two hours later~ >They arrived at Dorothy's secret stash. Misty: Hold it, two hours? I'd have thought that Trunks could fly them there in two minutes! Masato: (Trunks) Quick, Serena, cling tenaciously to my buttocks! >It was the hottest nightclub >around. Inside was full of exciting things to do there was pool tables, a >bar, a dance floor, and the hottest dj's, Jesse & Matt. Brock: And Ecstasy. LOTS of ecstasy. And giant bananas! Michelle: And thy even had Tiddly Winks and Chutes and Ladders! All the kids were doing it! >They were the >coolest spinners on the West Side of town. Misty: And then, they got kind of dizzy and fell over. So Trunks took over for them! Because he's just that cool! Michelle: Fangirl... >Trunks and Serena headed over >to the bar, where some drunk guys began to whistle and holler at Serena. Masato: They both went over to the bar, despite the fact that they were both underage... Michelle: They must have gone to Germany for their date. Misty: So *that's* why it took two hours for them to get there! >Trunks simply took his hands and put them around Serena Misty: *crack!* (Trunks) Whoah! Looks like I don't know my own strength! Michelle: (Trunks) Ummm, could somebody get us a mop out here? >and they backed >off. After about two beers, four tequilas, and a bloody Mary for Serena >trunks suggested a dance. Brock: Geezes! I'd be suggesting a stomach pump at that point! A visit to AA! Misty: (Trunks) Wow, and I didn't even have to *make* her drink it! Michelle: Then, just for kicks, she threw in five Sex on the Beaches, twelve Long Island Ice Teas, and a quart of paint thinner. Masato: She thought she wasn't quite loosened up enough. >They stepped out onto the dance floor and were >all over each other. Michelle: On the floor. Unconscious. In a puddle of their own vomit. >Trunks who was well aware that this was making him horny was trying to >control himself. Masato: (Trunks) Mustn't... break out... into... Saturday Night... Fever...! >Serena was well aware what this was doing to trunks and >she liked it. Misty: She just went wild for John Travolta...! Michelle: As long as Trunks doesn't call Serena Mr. Kotter... Brock: (Serena) That isn't a banana in his pocket at all! He lied to me! >Underneath his clothes Serena felt his huge boner against >her as she ad him were close together rubbing each other while Jesse & >Matt played some hot beats. Misty: Wakka-chicka-wakka-chicka... Brock: I think I heard that on the soundtrack for "Behind the Green Door..." >After the song began to die don trunks and >Serena Michelle: (Trunks) I hope this date doesn't go on too long. I've still got to dump that svachime Goten up-state. Misty: And soon, they were joined by their friends, Jimmy the Lip and Guido Nine-Fingers. Masato: Hey, Guido! Polly and Speedy are looking for you! Next order's yours! >went back over to the bar, trunks happy that was over and Serena >not happy enough, she had some plans for trunks and she was going to get >what she wanted. Masato: Ice cream! And lots of it! Misty: (Serena) And I want a pony, and a choo-choo train, and a squeezey-bake oven, and world peace, and... Brock: (Trunks) Well, I can do that last one, but otherwise... >"So Trunks what do you want to do now?" She asked >"Umm..." trunks said noticing the evil look in her eye an figuring out >what she wanted, Michelle: (Trunks) I don't have that kind of money! Brock: Michelle, think *real* hard about what you just said... Michelle: D'oh! (slaps herself) >"I figure whatever you have i can handle". Misty: (Trunks) Except for that talking cat. She freaks me out! Masato: (Serena) Great, because I'm really an evil alien who's out to destroy the planet. And now we will have a fight with many large explosions! Misty: (Trunks) Dammit, I told Goku to take care of the alien fighting tonight! Brock: (Trunks) Wait, I've got to get the necessary "staring in amazement" taken care of first! >He gave a >little Vegeta smirk and went for the car. >Serena hopped in and they were driving towards trunks's house. Brock: (Serena) Wow, Trunks, you live in a Motel Seven? Misty: (Trunks) Actually, I just use the motel's parking lot. I live in my car. It's a lot cheaper. >Serena was >very happy and trunks well he was more than happy if you know what i mean. > Misty: Nudgenudgesaynomoresaynomore! Brock: Trunks had found himself yet *another* victim in the unsuspecting guise of his blind date! > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Jeez i wonder what those two could be planning. Michelle: Well, since you already told us it was a lemon, the options for story- line are sort of limited. Brock: Story line? Michelle, it's a lemon! You should know better than that! >*Shrugs* well i guess >ya'll just have to wait. Misty: "Ya'll?" Where'd you learn to talk like that? Michelle: (Zorak) Hattiesburg. Misty: What were you doing in Hattiesburg? Michelle: (Zorak) Kickin' it! >Bye now email me at j720angel@aol.com anytime. >Jen > >The Fun of It All ( Chapter 2 ) >Serena and trunks rode down the highway in his red corvette. Michelle: But you know what they say about a man with a big, red car like that. Masato: Yeah, he makes a lot of money. Michelle: This, coming from a guy who drove a space-ship for five years of his life... Brock: If it makes you feel any better, Serena, I drive a Fiat! >Trunks though >Serena was looking rather *ahem*. Misty: Looking rather unconscious? Rather smashed? Rather shit-faced...? Brock: I don't know, I thought she looked rather cough. >They were heading back to his place to >well umm play some FUN games. Michelle: (Trunks) Yeah, I've got the new Sims expansion set, "Sims go to Mars," and it's got the coolest graphics! >Serena let down her long blonde hair and let the wind splash through it. Misty: (Serena) You know, Trunks, maybe you should put up the top when it starts raining! Masato: Nah, they just ran through a honking big puddle. Michelle: Hey, maybe the date'll be called because of inclement weather! > >Trunks watched with pure happiness. Meanwhile Serena was thinking of how >to get those baggy jeans off of him. Brock: Something sharp like a box cutter would do wonders, I'm guessing. Michelle: Easy, tell Trunks that the jeans are full of million dollar bills! >(Serena seems a little too anxious to >me *shrugs*oh well that's the point). Misty: Characterization? Nah, who needs it! Brock: Point? This story has a point? I thought it was just the sweet, sweet lovin! (tm) >They arrived at Trunks's house >shortly and he opened the door. Masato: But not before staring at it for three hours... Misty: (Trunks) It's just so... so... GREEN!!! >His apartment was huge compared to the >tiny shit hole Serena lived in. Michelle: Hey, now, that's the "human waste containment facility she lived in," if you don't mind! Let's be more PC, people! And by god, let's have Serena saving Trunks from the horrible monster instead of the other way around! Brock: What horrible monster? Michelle: A DBZ and Sailor Moon crossover? You know one's going to show up sooner or later. Misty: Yeah, but how many episodes would it take to beat it? One or one hundred? >They made their way over to the couch and >put on a chick flick. Masato: (Serena) Oh, I wonder how long it'll be until they hatch! Misty: (Trunks) Watch out for the fox! Brock: (Serena) Come on, what's with this chick flick crap? Let's get some Rambo going on here! Misty: Nabeshin's "No Escape!" Michelle: There you are, Hell Ninja Commando! >Trunks and Serena sat rater close. He put his arm >around her shoulders slowly and placed his hand on her firm breast. Misty: He didn't realize that she had only moments before been baking a chicken. Brock: What, he didn't smell the smoke? >Serena >who had felt the whole thing was enjoying every minute of it just snuggled >closer to him. He began to whisper dirty things in her ear Masato: (Trunks) Mud pie... Land-slide... Dust bunnies! Strip mining! Bill Clinton! >and Serena >giggled. He put his knuckles under her chin and made her face him. His >eyes were blue Misty: Thinking of something bluuuuue... Michelle: (Trunks) The sky! The sky beyond the door is blue... >and the moonlight from the window bounce on his head and >reflected brilliant shades of lavender. Trunks looked into the pools of >ocean Serena had for eyes Michelle: (Trunks) Serena, excuse me, I suddenly have to go to the bathroom... Misty: So, wait, her face has turned into an atlas all of a sudden? Masato: Serena has decided to change her name to Rand McNally. >that were twinkling with anticipation and moved >closer their faces were jus inches apart and their lips met. Brock: Whoah, those're some long lips! Misty: (Serena) It's all because of an accident with a pasta press in my younger days... >The kiss was >soft and sweet. Trunks slowly pushed his tongue between her lips and she >accepted. Michelle: And then, his tongue got two minutes in the box for checking... >Their lips massaged one another's, circling and rubbing with >pure ecstasy. Brock: See? I told you so! LOTS of ecstasy! >He put both of his hands on her breasts and began to massage >them. Misty: (Trunks) See? Just like kneading bread! Masato: (Serena) Really, Trunks, is all you think about food? Brock: So, having sex is just like cooking? That must be why Mako-chan's got so many fanboys! >She smiled into their kiss (come up for air before u suffocate). Michelle: No, that's Scuba diving. They still have noses. >She >tangled her fingers inside his hair. Misty: My God! His hair! It's huge!! Misty: Affro-man *is* Trunks *in* First Date... >They slowly began to move into his >bedroom, which had flower petals and candles lit within (must have been >ready). Brock: Whoah, he hadn't even met Serena and he was already anticipating the sloppy monkey love?! Masato: (Trunks) There isn't a woman alive that can resist the Trunks Briefs Love Machine! >She put her hands down to his shirt and pulled it over his head. >She ran her porcelain fingers over his firm sweaty six pack. Misty: So, Serena turned into a ceramic figure and Trunks turned into a cold Bud. Michelle: (Trunks) Geezes, Serena, what're you thinking?! It's freezing in here! Get me my wool coat! >He moaned and >she could tell what he wanted. He pulled off the jeans she was wearing and >smelt her arousal. Brock: (Trunks) Serena, why do you smell like a chocolate sundae? Michelle: I don't think I want to hear the answer to that question... >He left a trail of kisses down her stomach and near her >panty line. Brock: Because Serena's best line in *any* episode is always her panty line! Michelle: (slaps Brock) Masato: Well, it sure as hell ain't the corny speech... >She pushed trunks down on e bed and straddled his hip right >where his massive boner was showing trough his jeans. She Pulled off the >jeans and boxers in an easily pulled off jerk. Misty: Because his name's Trunks! See, it's a funny! Michelle: Actually, his last name's Briefs, so I'm conflicted. >Serena though it was time >for trunk to be turned o. She grabbed his still, rather large penis in her >hands and began to rub slowly. Masato: But it was really kind of unattractive when she cupped his parts and told him to cough. Brock: Apparently, she's had a lot of practice with that henshin wand. >She began to lick the tip of him and he >moaned rather loudly. He came into her mouth and she swoled it all. Misty: I don't know, I think that was more out of habit than anything else. Michelle: First comment about taste, and I slap who said it... >Trunks >had already removed her panties. His dick was fucking huge and she knew >this would hurt. He turned her over and hovered over her he spat on two of >his fingers and Brock: (Serena) Trunks, I want to try something I heard Marilyn Manson singing about! Masato: Well, they're already doing something that Barry White sings about... >slowly pushed them in. This didn't hurt and he slowly >moved them around. Her juices her all over his fingers. He pulled them out >and a slight pain surrounded her clit. Misty: Hey, Serena! Forgetting about somebody? You know, one true love and all that? Brock: (Tux-Boy) Serena, I'm here to save- Oh, my God, what are you doing with him?! >He licked his fingers. Her cum >tasted sweet and delicious he couldn't wait to ravage her delicate body >and let her feel him inside of her. He told her this would her ad Misty: ...And then, he realized that he was having another attack and that he hadn't had his medicine for the past five hours. >that he >would try to be careful. Serena nodded her head and squeezed her eyes >shut. Brock: Lemon cliche number 2734441! Michelle: Because she wanted to see more of the pretty colors! >Trunks once again position himself over her body and with one hard >thrust slammed into her. Serena let out a scream of pain and bit trunks on >the neck. Michelle: And then, Alucard and the Hellsing organization stormed in and promptly put her in her place. >Trunks felt her walls close in around him, man was she tight, >her walls contracted around him and when he was sure she was all right, he >began to push in and out n smooth, quick motions. Their bodies rocked in >rhythm and covered each other in sweat. Michelle: *knock, knock* (Bulma) Trunks, what's all that noise in there?! Brock: (Trunks) Nothing that you and dad don't do every other night! Masato: (Vegeta) Good work, boy! So, he *is* my son after all! >A rush came over both of them and >they climaxed surrounding each other in all they had to give. Trunks held >Serena in his arms; they both were still willing to give. Michelle: Wait, they're cows now? Masato: Looks like Scientific Progress is going Boink pretty often in this fic! Brock: Heavy emphasis on the Boink! >They lay in >each other's arms as the night got later. > Misty: And then, Serena finally fell asleep and Trunks ended up wishing he had never brought her back. Brock: (Trunks) Geez, ten bruises and five broken bones in one night?! The hell did I get myself into this time?! >The sunset and lay across the sheets surrounding her and Trunks in total >warmth. Michelle: Well, you're going to get that when a fiery ball of fusion collides with the Earth. I mean, it just makes sense, doesn't it? >He smiled into her hair and said " hello beautiful". Masato: (Serena) Hello, whatever-you-are. Brock: Then he realized that she had "morning after" hair and thought it wasn't quite so beautiful after all... >She sighed >and snuggled closer. After they took a shower together, she left for work >and saw Rose there... Michelle: So, Serena finally got off her lazy ass and got a job! Misty: Her calling card: "Will Henshin for food!" >"So how was your date with trunks" Rose questioned? Brock: (Serena) Hold it, I went on a date last night? With someone named Trunks?! Geezes, how much drunk get me? >Serena smiled on that night's memories, " let's just ay it was MORE than i >expected." Misty: (Serena) In some ways, and less in others. It cost more than I would have liked, and there was less sex than I wanted. Masato: (Rose) I just wanted an answer, not your life story! >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >~~~~~~ Brock: Hold it, there's a sine function on the fic? Michelle: No, they're making us peer into Serena's oceans of eyes! >Please read and review. Remember first time lemon here so let me know what >a thin. > >Thanks harlequinrose88 Michelle: Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of dodge... Reverse Door sequence Outside of the theater, Misty, Masato, and Michelle are sitting on the floor in the living room. Ash is still mesmerized by the flashing lights of his third stage of therapy, Excel Saga. "So, we're about to die in a fiery ball of death, and Nabeshin pulls this giant *thing* out of his hair!" Masato exclaims, explaining what had happened to him and his friend after they left the Satellite. "I ask him what it is, and he tells me that it's an anti-matter-ifier, and that it'll get us out of the jam by letting our ship pass through everything that's about to explode us. Before I can tell him what an idiot he is, he shoots it at our own ship and it explodes, and we're both dead!" "Oh, Masato, I can't believe I almost lost you again!" Michelle exclaims, throwing herself across Masato's lap. "Hold me closely, so that I may cherish being with you forever!" "Ummm, Misty, could you do something about this?" Masato asks, pointing at the pile of Michelle sprawled across his legs. "Sorry, man, but she's acting on her own," Misty replies. "But what's the big deal for you, anyway? I mean, you're already dead." "I never said it was a big deal that we died," Masato replies. "Hell, Nabeshin was back alive and safe back on Earth like two minutes later, thanks to I'z-chan. I just went back to wait for *you guys* to drag me back here. What was so cool was the explosion! I mean, it was so big, it took out the whole armada immediately, and conveniently enough missed Earth! I mean, how nifty is that?!" "Yeah, that is pretty cool," Misty says. "Too bad it was on the other side of the planet from us. Would have been nice to see it or something." Suddenly, Brock rushes in to the room excitedly waving his hands in the air. "Eureka!" he exclaims. "Do what? You were interrupting my Masato's harrowing tale of danger and intrigue," Michelle replies angrily. "You may all be interested to know that I've fixed the trading machine finally, and we can all get our Pokemon back," Brock replies smoothly. "What? Pokemon back?! Now?!" Ash exclaims, perking up immediately. Everyone glances over to where Ash's gaze has broken from the TV. "Oh, hi, Masato! When'd you get here?" he asks. "Looks like Ash is feeling better now," Masato replies. "Guess you just need the right stimulus, after all." "Right, so come this way, everybody," Brock says, motioning towards the main bridge. They walk in and Ash crowds around at the front of the line, holding Michelle's arm in a vice-grip. "Pikachu, NOW!" he exclaims, tossing the pokemon into the "in" port. "Hey, don't I get to say goodbye?" Michelle asks. "Oh, it's like you're never going to see him again..." Ash replies bitterly. Brock walks to the terminal and presses the button to start the machine. A few moments and electrical jolts later, a "ding" emerges from the machine and the door opens, releasing large amounts of steam. When the steam clears, Pikachu is standing in the port, smiling broadly. Everyone present stares, gaping at the odd sight standing before them. "Brock, why does my Pikachu have a face that looks like Jerry Lewis?" Ash asks softly, as though trying to restrain himself from doing extreme violence. "Pika-oh LADY!" Pikachu exclaims, jumping to the floor and running to Ash. "Wow, looks like there's still a couple of bugs to work out..." Brock sighs. "Work them out *now*," Ash exclaims, handing him a monkey wrench from the tool box beside the machine. The red Mads Light begins flashing. "So, what do you think, sirs?" Michelle asks. Deep 251 "How - how did they do that?!" Cassidy exclaims, gaping. Behind her, James and Meowth have tied up Butch and Jesse is approaching her with a coil of rope. "Anyway, we'll just be taking control of your operation now." She turns just in time to have a rope thrown around her, pinning her arms to her side. "No, I think you're going back to your own section, and we're telling the Boss how you failed and wasted our time," Jesse replies, a sinister grin crossing her face. "Now, hold still while I tie you up." "So, you've forced me to use this," Cassidy comments. "Quick, secret weapon C! Get in here and help us out *now!*" "Yes, ma'am!" exclaims a shy voice from outside the door. The door opens and a blue-haired young woman wanders in. Jesse, Meowth, and James halt in their tracks, staring. "Wha- No, not that!" Jesse exclaims. "A cuteness weapon! James, avert your eyes!" "This place is so big! What are we going to do with it, anyway?" the blue-haired girl asks. "Jesse, James, meet Rena Lanford, perhaps the cutest anime character in existence," Cassidy exclaims. "Her disarming cuteness will hold you in your place long enough for us to gain complete control!" "Don't... you wish..." Jesse exclaims through gritted teeth. "Chii! Come in here, please!" From the other room, Chii wanders in, holding a pile of filing folders in her arms, while trying to sort them at the same time. "Chii?" she says, juggling the pile awkwardly. "Meet our own weapon!" Jesse exclaims. "Even *we* can't resist her cuteness, and she works with us!" "My dear god! I thought that weapons of cuteness had been outlawed by the Geneva Convention!" Michelle exclaims. "Quickly, don't watch!" "Oh... my... God...!" Cassidy exclaims, her eyes going wide. "She's... she's so cute!" A look of panic crosses her face as her body begins to go stiff. "Rena, quick! You've got to out-cute her! Now!" "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Miss Cassidy," Rena says, a look of confusion crossing her face. "Use... the emergency supply I gave you... in your pocket...!" Cassidy exclaims. "Oh, you mean these?" Rena replies, taking out a pair of stage glasses and placing them on her face. The effects of the change are immediate, as Jesse, Meowth, and James begin to become more stiff and Cassidy's arms start to loosen up. "Chii! Think about Hideki!" Jesse exclaims. "Chii?" Chii wonders. "Chii..." As thoughts of Hideki emerge from her memory bank, her cheeks begin to redden. Soon, a full blush fills her cheeks and the power of her most deadly attack even begins to affect Rena. "What...? No!" Cassidy exclaims as she falls to the ground, face-first. Soon, Jesse, James, and Meowth have recovered and tied up Cassidy and Rena. "You know, I never would have thought a Persocon could blush," Meowth comments. "Hey, I'm not asking questions," Jesse replies. "Get them out of here, you two." She turns back to the camera, grinning. "And, as for you people, this proves nothing other than that they're idiots. Understood? Now, you get out of there now, Halo-boy! The rest of you, we'll be back for you. Press the button, James." *blip!* *FWOOSH!* And thus ends this newest MSTing by us! This was pretty fun to do, and it didn't take half as long as any of my other projects are taking. Surprise, surprise! Well, I guess when you really want to get something done that's this short, you can do anything. Anyway, we'd like to thank Daughter of the Forest for being so nice as allowing the use of her fanfic in this manner. I hope that nothing was taken personally, as none of it was meant that way. It was all in good fun, and we all had a good laugh in the process. I'd also like to say that the same goes for carlos999 and sailor venus, even though we were unable to contact them. Again, I don't own any of the fics, products, or series mentioned in the course of this MSTing, I just like mentioning them for the purposes of humor. Hopefully, it won't be this long until I or Craig finishes anything else again, but you never know with classes and whatnot. Anyway, that is all for now, thanks for reading! As always, C&C would be greatly appreciated; we like hearing what people think of our stuff! So, don't be shy at all! 'Till next time! MST3K owned by: Best Brains, Inc. MST3K created by: Joel Hodgeson Original fic by: Daughter of the Forest (j270angel@aol.com) Original shorts by: Carlos999 and sailor venus (no e-mails given) MSTing by: M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu) and Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris (lardalmighty@netscape.net) Keep circulating the fanfics! >10min later..... >"Oh Tenchi, youre hands are so warm, andyour pussy!!!" >"Yes, and I love your ta-ta's."