Question:
"Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?"
Answer:
"They have big fingers."

Question:
"What do you get when you cross a Snowman with a Vampire?"
Answer:
"Frostbite."

Question:
"What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?"
Answer:
"A nervous wreck"

Question:
"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?"
Answer:
"A bad golfer goes "Whack!" "Dang!" A bad skydiver goes "Dang!" "Whack!""

Question:
"What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?"
Answer:
"Sanka"

- Points to Ponder -

If a Hermit Crab loses his shell, is he homeless or naked?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp"; to have an "S" in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

- Useless Knowledge -

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

On a Canadian $2 bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of a $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Maine is the only state that is only one syllable.

Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora La Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A".

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Al Capone's business card said that he was a used furniture dealer.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

You can see Abe Lincoln sitting in the chair (the Lincoln Memorial)inside the building on a penny.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word you can type using only the left hand.

"Typewriter" is the longest word you can type using only the top shelf of the keyboard.

Abe Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated, too. (He was stabbed to death!)

In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off."

A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.

European women didn't wear underwear until the 1900's.

More than 50% of the world have never made or received a phone call.

We shed 40 pounds of skin in a life time.

Yo-yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.

Coca-cola can be used as car oil.

Australian speak for going to the bathroom is, "Spending a penny."

You blink your eyes about 20,000 times a day.

Girls see better than boys in the dark.

An average person has 696 muscles; a caterpillar has more than 4,000.

The typical bed houses 2 million dustmites. Yuck!

Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.

Blue is the favorite color of 80% of Americans.

A giraffe cleans its ears with its 21-inch tongue.

When a person shakes their head from side to side, they are saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.

The largest chocolate chip cookie ever made contained 2.8 tons of chocolate.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.

Rats can't vomit.

Everyday, 0.5% of the world visits a McDonald's.

Children grow faster in the spring.

Napoleon suffered from constipation.

The only word in the English language with all vowels in reverse order is "subcontinental."

Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because Donald doesn't wear pants.

85% of people killed by lightning are male.

Your body is 70% water.

There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.

The back of a sock is called a "gore."

Beethoven poured ice water over his head before he composed.

We've eaten 400 billion Oreo's since they were first introduced in 1912.

The Snicker's bar is the #1 selling candy sold in vending machines.

The "sixth sick sheik sheep's sick" is said to be the hardest tongue twister in the English language.

Add up all the numbers on a roulette wheel and the sum is 666.

In Pakistan, it's rude to show your feet.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

There are more plastic flamingo's in the US than real ones.

No piece of paper can be folded more than seven times.




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