New Beginnings

By Sleuth

This would be a new beginning for Michelle and Danny. A new home,. a new life. Danny and Michelle had invited Ray to come with them. Ray had been through a terrible ordeal. It was over now, but the effects lingered.

The plane landed in San Francisco at noon. It had been an enjoyable flight for Danny and Michelle. Ray had not fared as well. He had occasional feelings of nausea and headaches. The doctor had warned him that this may continue for some weeks. The drugs used on him had done some harm. A fact used in the trial of Dr Bradford. Rick was accused only of being an accomplice.

Mr. Martinez had agreed to pick them up in San Francisco and take them to their new home in Mendicino. Danny was anxious for Ray to see this wonderful house. So full of their grandmother's spirit. Michelle was anxious to explore every inch of the house. They had so little time after the first visit... now she could take all the time in the world.

Mr Martinez joked about Michelle's enthusiasm for the house.

"You won't be able to tear your wife away from the house will you Mr Santos?"

"She is obsessing already.. I probably won't see her for days.. find her poking in every corner of the house until she is satisfied she has seen every inch. I must admit I love it too" Danny laughed.

Ray sat quietly and hoped that this would be a cure for his constant feelings of fear.

"I wonder if I will ever feel in control again? " he asked himself.

As they approached the house Michelle could not contain herself any longer.

"Ray .. look .. isn't it gorgeous.. look at that spectacular view.! Oh Ray, you will feel like a new person in days.. I guarantee .. you will be singing it's praises just like me" Michelle laughed.

Mr. Martinez helped them with their luggage and explained that he had filled the refrigerator for them.

"I hope you like my selection. I also checked the wine.. you have plenty. I stocked it myself a week ago. I used to do that for your grandmother. She did enjoy a good California wine. If you need anything, just call me." he waved and drove off.

Ray entered the house and was overwhelmed with thoughts of their grandmother. Danny was right .. she was everywhere in this house. His thoughts went to their last meeting. She had called him to Carmen's house. She told him she was ill and that although she had not been to a doctor, she felt her time was short. She begged him not to tell anyone. She did not want them smothering her.. she preferred that things be left as they were. She asked him to hear her final confession. She accused herself of all kinds of things that Ray could not believe were true. Her hatred of Carmen, her lack of caring in the beginning about their grandfather. She had been cold and unfeeling she said in the beginning. He had never been anything but kind to her. She regretted many things. It hurt Ray to hear this.. he tried to separate himself as her grandson and think only as a priest. It was not easy.

That night Danny, Michelle and Ray dined outdoors. They drank wine and laughed. Everything seemed almost normal. Ray felt very comfortable in this house. His grandmother was there.. he knew that she watched over all of them.

Michelle woke the next morning and although Danny was still sleeping she crept out of bed. She felt like a child on Christmas. She went downstairs and found Ray sitting in the kitchen, head in hands sobbing.

"Ray, what is the matter?" she rushed to him and touched his shoulder.

Ray pulled away and looked at her with such fear that she was startled.

"Ray , it's just me.. did I frighten you? I'm sorry" she apologized

"No, Michelle. I just.. I really don't know what is the matter. I feel as though I have lost all control over my life. The time when I was drugged , I keep having moments when I remember ... certain things.." he said vaguely.

"Ray , let me make you some breakfast and then we can.."

Ray interrupted her " No, Michelle..no I can't eat.. I can barely sleep.. thank you .. but no!."

Michelle heard Danny coming down the stairs.

She hoped that Danny could help Ray..she knew that she could not.. even though she shared the experience of being locked up and drugged.. it was nothing like Ray's ordeal.

"Hey... good morning.." Danny looked at Ray and then Michelle.."what's wrong,Ray?"

"Nothing.. I just am not very hungry and Michelle was lecturing me on eating habits... "Ray tried to laugh..

Danny asked Ray if he still felt ill. Ray assured him that all he needed was time. He was sure all this would pass and he would be himself in no time. That is what he told Danny, that is not what he felt. He really wondered if he would ever feel the same again. She had done some terrible damage to him. He was fearful all the time now. His dreams were torturous, when he slept. Sleep did not come easily an when it did it brought the dreams of the damned.

Carmen sat in her living room talking with Ben. He on one side of the desk and she on the other.

"Carmen, why are you still fussing over this situation. Rick got off with community service and the Dr. Bradford is going away for a long time. What do you care now. Ray is safe and you averted a tremendous scandal for him.. what more do you want."

"Rick.. yes Michelle's brother gets away with everything." she snarled

"He lost his license.. that meant everything to him. He didn't get away with anything, Carmen" Ben shook his head. This woman never gave up, she would carry a grudge against the Bauer's to her grave.

"Hmm , well.. now Michelle and Danny have left. I may never see them again. I told you I was losing my family and now I have."

"Someday Carmen you will learn that your children do love you. Just let them live their own life.. you'll see . They will come back." Ben assured her.

Michelle tried to talk Ray into touring the house with her. She told him that it even had a huge attic with tons of furniture and old pictures stored in it.. didn't he want to see all those old photo's and the wonderful history of this house.?

Ray dutifully followed Michelle to the attic and they opened the boxes that lay on the floor. One of them was marked 1960 and Michelle lifted the heavy album from the box. She opened the album and showed Ray the pictures of his grandmother and grandfather. There was a picture of Danny's father as a boy of seven. He had the same dark curly hair and brown eyes. He was smiling broadly and held a puppy in his arms. These pictures surprised Michelle.. it did not look like a crime family. It looked like every other family picture. Proud parents and a smiling son, happy with his first pet. The next page showed two brothers, arms around each others shoulders. They looked enough alike to be twins. Danny's father about 8 and his brother not more than a year younger. They went through the same album for over an hour. Ray was beginning to feel very comfortable again. These were the kind of memories he needed. The strong family he remembered.

Danny climbed the stairs to the attic and saw Ray and Michelle kneeling on the floor with pictures scattered everywhere.

"You two managed to create quite a mess in such a short time." Danny laughed

"Danny , you should see these..pictures of your father when he was little. You look so much like him..it's amazing." Michelle said.

Ray reached into the box and lifted a folder from the bottom. There were a group of letters in the folder, neatly tied with a red ribbon.

"Oh, Danny come here and join in the fun. We have found so many interesting pictures. Is this Ray's father? Who is that man with your grandfather?" Michelle asked

"How should I know?" Danny laughed

Ray opened the letters and started to read.

Dear Maria,

I hope this letter finds you well. I was so glad to have had the chance to meet with you in person. I am hoping that our coming marriage will be in both our interest. I know you are reluctant to start your new life with me, but I hope we will come to understand each other.

Please know that you are in my thoughts . I hope that as the time approaches that I will be in yours.

Daniel Santos

Ray looked up and saw Michelle and Danny staring at him.

"What ? These are just some old letters" Ray said

Danny looked at Michelle and then said to Ray" You were reading them out loud. It just surprised us, that's all."

"I was? I guess I was just surprised to see these .. I mean.. Grandmother always told us about the arranged marriage.. I guess I never thought. They never even knew each other.. " Rays' voice drifted off.

That night the house was silent except for the sound of the sea. Ray sat in his room and tried to read. The words were just blurs on the page, they meant nothing. His mind just could not focus. He hoped this would be over soon. That these feelings would go away and never return. Finally after 1:00 AM he dozed off. He was awaked not five minutes later by the sound of a car driving onto the property.

He looked out the window and saw a small sport car heading for the caretakers cottage.

Ray woke early and immediately went to the window and looked toward the cottage. The red sports car was parked in front.. and he could see the woman removing things from the trunk.

She was about 5'5 and had dark hair. Her figure was slim , she wore jeans and man's shirt. As she turned away from the car she was looking directly at the main house. Ray stepped back from the window.

Constance smiled and wondered who was looking at her. Her father told her about the Santos couple and she wondered who the other man was.. well she was sure she would find out. Her father loved to tell her every detail of the family history. She had heard it all a hundred times.

Later that morning Constance decided to ride. She went to the stable and saddled her horse. He nuzzled her shoulder and she patted him. "you miss me ..well, we will have a good ride today" she laughed. She slipped the bridle and bit into place and led him from the stable. She was surprised to see Ray standing there, he was staring at her.

She smiled and said " Hello, are you staying at the main house?"

Ray continued to stare at her..

"Something wrong ?" she said

"I'm sorry.. I just didn't expect to see anyone here" Ray stammered

"Neither did I, so I guess we are both ... surprised" she watched him with an amused expression.

She mounted her horse and looking back she said " Hope you enjoy your stay."

To herself she said" Whoever the hell you are!"

Ray felt foolish of course. He had not introduced himself .. had stood there staring after her.

He saw Mr. Martinez walking toward him.

" I see you met my daughter" he smiled

"I am afraid she thinks I am mute or something. I didn't introduce myself and I guess I was just surprised to see anyone down here. I was just taking a walk, trying to gather my thoughts.. well anyway.. "

"Ray, I have known your family for a long time. I can see you are having some troubles.. I am sorry. Your grandmother would have been proud of each and everyone of you. No matter what your choices in life might be.." Mr. Martinez caught himself and thought perhaps he had gone too far. Ray looked puzzled.

" Yes, my grandmother was a very kind person" Ray said quietly

"Is your daughter living with you? "Ray asked

"No, no she lives in San Francisco. She is a biochemist. I am very proud of her. Mr. Martinez smiled broadly. She visits almost every weekend. Her horse is here and so she visits me and then goes riding for hours on end" he laughed.

"I see." Ray looked off toward the hills behind the cottage.

"Yes, that is where she rides. She loves those hills. As a little girl she would disappear for hours up there. Examining every flower and plant. No living thing escaped her examination."

Later that morning Constance returned to the cottage. Her father greeted her with a hug.

"Good ride?" he asked.

" Wonderful, but it was getting warm up there.. thought it was time to quit. I guess it will be a hot one today. Dad, who was that man.. he seemed kind of .. spacey..? " she asked

"Ray Santos he is Maria's grandson. The other grandson is here with his wife. I guess they are staying here permanently. How about some nice cold lemonade , honey?" he asked

"Are you changing the subject on me Dad? Usually you tell me everything about the Santos family members.. their birth dates, their likes and dislikes.. why am I getting the short version today?" Constance laughed.

"No reason.. don't be silly ..now how about that lemonade?" he handed her the glass

Ray told Michelle and Danny that he had seen Mr. Martinez daughter down at the stable. He thought that she seemed very nice. He admitted that he had looked like an idiot staring at her and that his mind just didn't work so well these days.. . Danny assured him his mind was just fine.

"So cousin... what did she look like? Was that the reason you were struck dumb.. " Danny laughed

" Be nice Danny.. Ray ignore him.. he is being cute today.. aren't you dear? " Michelle said sarcastically.

"Michelle has been crawling around that attic digging up old letters and files.. She thinks she is onto some big secret. "Danny laughed

"Well, it does seem odd.. I mean there is no trace of all this crime family stuff. I mean it looks like normal family stuff.. I thought your grandfather was so poor.. and he struggled to make this family any way he could.. now I see all this normal family memorabilia .. and no sign of the big bad Santos family.. So .. there is a mystery. Hah ! " Michelle replied.

"Oh give it a rest Michelle. What do you think they advertised in the paper? Need a hit on your enemy? Call the Santos family at 555-dead. Please?"

Danny walked away shaking his head.

Ray found himself laughing at them for the first time since they had arrived. Maybe this house was special. There were moments when he felt almost like his old self.

Later in his room he looked out the window toward the cottage. She was there.. sitting on the steps.. her feet propped up , reading a book. He wondered if he should go down there, introduce himself..act like a normal human being. He watched her a little longer from his window. Just as he decided it was a very good idea he noticed that she gone inside. "I guess that answered that question" Ray sighed.

Constance asked her father again " So who is the other Santos.. the cousin. What does he do?"

"I have no idea." her father went back to his book

"Oh , cute..now your ignoring me.. Dad....Dad it isn't going to work.. I will just keep asking until I get an answer." she laughed

" Oh all right.. his name is Ray. I don't know what happened but I get the impression that he just went through some traumatic situation. I honestly don't know anything about it. Now .. satisfied?" he said hiding behind his book

"Nope.. I guess I will have to snoop on my own. He's kind of attractive..don't you think.?"

Her father came out from behind his book and glared at her.

"Connie.. stop it.. you know the Santos family. I have told you all about them. Stay away.. do you hear!" he snapped.

"Dad.. calm down.. I only said he was attractive.. take a deep breath." she smiled and walked back outside.

She looked up at the house. Now she was really curious. Why had her father snapped at her like that.. all these years he told her about the family in great detail. He had been very fond of the older Santos.. Maria and Daniel. The two sons.. well that was a different story.

She smiled to herself and said half out loud." He sure is cute anyway..it can't hurt to get to know him."

That night was very warm. Michelle, Danny and Ray decided it would be best to eat on the patio. Michelle busied herself with setting the table and since it was so warm the dinner would be light.

Danny and Ray sat and talked about what they remembered of their grandmother. Ray said his first clear recollection of her was at his eighth birthday party. She had come to stay with Carmen and Michael. Grandfather was gone and she had decided that she did not want to stay in her own house anymore. It would be 5 more years and Danny's father would be gone too.

Those were bad times. Ray tried to block them from his mind.

Danny agreed. As they were trying to piece together all that had happened during their young lives, Michelle called them to dinner. They had just started to drink their wine when Constance appeared on the patio.

"I am sorry , I didn't mean to intrude on your dinner. I will come back later. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am Constance Martinez, Mr. Martinez daughter."

"No, you are not intruding at all. Your father has been so helpful to us. Please join us for dinner." Michelle said

" I really did not come up here to mooch a dinner, she laughed, but I must say that salad looks tempting."

Ray introduced himself and apologized for his strange behavior earlier.

"I have been a little out of sorts lately," Ray said

"A little?" Danny introduced himself and explained that Ray had been through a difficult time and they thought this was the place to renew his spirits.

"Well, if any place on earth can renew your spirits.. it is this place. I just love this house don't you? I come out of the city and stay here for two days..it is the best vacation spot in the world. No matter how rotten the week has been.. I am renewed here." Constance looked up at the stars and sighed.

Danny watched his cousin and noticed that Ray was enthralled with this girl. He didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one. Considering what he had been through with Dr Bradford.

"Ray... Ray.. hello.. are you still with us..?" Danny asked

"What.. oh.. I just was noticing the stars myself.. they look as though you could touch them tonight" Ray pretended to be looking at the stars.. however his eyes kept drifting back to Constance.

They enjoyed their wine and talked late into the night.

Danny yawned and said that they would have to excuse them.. but they were going to bed.

Ray didn't stop his conversation with Constance and Danny repeated that they were going to bed. Michelle could not help but laugh. Ray was completely ignoring them.

Michelle took Danny by the arm and pulled him toward the house.

"I don't think this is too good an idea, Michelle." Danny whispered

"Leave him alone ,Danny.. this is the first time I have seen him relax since we got here..c'mon... bed." Michelle kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"That wasn't much of an incentive..." Danny said

"That was just the teaser.. the movie is much better." she laughed

Constance asked Ray if he felt like talking about what had happened to him. He said he thought it was better if he did not. He was beginning to feel much better and maybe it was best to put it behind him.

"I am not sure about that Ray, if you push it away.. it will only come back stronger. Sometimes the best cure is to talk it out. I am here and willing to listen. I don't know anyone that you know.. so whatever it is .. you can count on me to keep it to myself. If you change your mind.. I am here every weekend. Now , I better let you get to bed.. or your relatives will be talking about you. " she laughed.

She kissed him on the cheek and said goodnight. Ray pulled back as though she had slapped him.

"Ray .. what on earth.. I didn't mean to upset you.. what.. I am sorry."

"Well, goodnight" Ray walked off.

Constance was left standing there, in the middle of the patio ,feeling as though she had committed a crime.

The next morning Danny and Ray went into town. Michelle said she had things to do. Danny knew what they were, foraging in the attic for old letters and pictures.

She found one from Danny's grandmother and read:

Dear Daniel,

I write this on the eve of our wedding. I hope that you understand that this marriage will not be an easy one for me. I am like any other woman and dreamed of standing beside the love of my life on my marriage day.

I mean no disrespect of you. I just hope you understand that I do not share your feelings. I cannot help this, it is just my failure.

I will try to be a good wife. It is my nature to be honest. I hope that I will always be honest with you.

I know you are an honorable man. My father does not know that I am writing this letter. Please keep faith with me and do not tell him.

Sincerely,

Maria.

Michelle was amazed that someone could marry someone she didn't even know, let alone love.

"Sure Michelle, you thought you would never love Danny either." she laughed at herself.

She looked at another album. She found pictures of Danny's father. He was a teenager, perhaps thirteen. She wondered what Danny looked like at thirteen. She never really looked at pictures in Casa Santos. Too many problems to worry about pictures. She dug through the rest of the box and found another letter.

My dear husband,

How I miss you!. The children are wonderful as usual. They both love this house and will miss it when we move to Springfield. They will be growing up in a community that is very different from this one.

The business you mentioned sounds like a good investment. I hope it succeeds. The computer industry will flourish and I am sure you have met many interesting people exploring this idea.

We look forward to your return and know that my love is with you always

your wife,

Maria

"O.K. explain this Danny.. your grandfather was just an immigrant and didn't have any skills? Computer industry? " Michelle said out loud.

Ray and Danny drove the back roads and talked.

"Ray, what did that woman do to you.I am sorry.. but I know what she did to Michelle. I know that you probably don't even remember most of it.."

"Danny, I don't want to talk about this but to say.. that she drugged me and hypnotized me. I am sure you don't understand. ..you always were quite the romeo.. but for me .. well, it wasn't always easy. This is not easy to talk about , but I struggle with it everyday. In time , so they tell me, it becomes a grace. I haven't been blessed with that yet. I had just been ordained.. my calling was just really beginning. She tore all that from me.. she opened doors that never should have been opened. "

"I'm sorry Ray. I feel as though this is my fault. She wanted revenge because of my actions. Her license. I don't think she deserved one anyway. I caused a rift between Michelle and her brother.. all in all it was a mess." Danny sighed.

"Well, all of it is over now.. and we should both try to get on with our lives. Michelle seems happy , she has gotten over whatever they did to her.. I will get over it too.. trust me . I will"

Ray stared out the window and hoped his words were true.

Constance asked her father to tell her again about Maria and Michael.

"I have told you these stories a hundred times Constance.. why do you ask again?"

"I talked with Ray last night for a while. Something is really troubling him. Do you know what this traumatic event was? Dad, I am just trying to understand his reactions. You know me.. I can't rest until I find out the answer." she coaxed

"No , I do not know... I told you that..as far as Maria and Michael... well, they were wonderful people.. he was a good ,strong man. He took care of his family and he was proud of them. He was smart and he invested very young in good companies... he had a good mind for business. I don't know how, but he always seemed to know what the next prospering business would be.. and he jumped into those business's quickly. He made a fortune in the 60's. Those boys wanted for nothing. They were spoiled. He thought they could do no wrong. Hah! That was what they did best." her father threw down his newspaper and walked from the room.

Constance watched her father's expressions. He was more agitated than she thought he should be, why did those boys bother him so much? She wondered about Ray. He was so attractive, had shown an interest in her... and yet he pulled away. She would find out more when she returned next weekend.

She was packing her car when she saw Danny and Ray pull up to the main house. She waved and they waved back. She wanted to talk to Ray.."but perhaps she should wait until next week. Time enough then..yes.. that would be better..just wait" she told herself

Ray watched as she packed her car. He wanted to tell her everything. She was so easy to talk to and somehow he felt he could trust her."It can wait.. it can wait." Ray told himself.

As Danny walked into the house Michelle said she had something to show him.

" Danny , I was sort of rummaging around up in the attic and I found a letter from your grandmother. Guess what business he was interested in?" Michelle asked

" I told you all that stuff a long time ago Michelle.. what ever criminal activity he was in doesn't matter. He had to make a living for his family and.."

"No, Danny listen to me, he wasn't doing anything criminal.. don't you see.. he was investing in computer companies and I don't think that was against the law. So you see he wasn't smuggling or doing any of those things your mother said.. not at all!"

"Well, I am sure you didn't get all that information out of one letter. C'mon Michelle.. you don't know about my grandfather.." Danny said

"Ray what did your father tell you about your grandfather?" Michelle asked

Ray looked at Danny. Danny shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, Michelle..pretty much the same story that I think we all heard. He didn't speak the language and he did what he had to do to survive. He had to take care of his family and so he did some things that weren't quite.. legal." Ray said reluctantly.

"Hmm , well obviously he was doing well by the time he bought this place. Danny you have the deed. When did he buy it?" Michelle asked

"Michelle, I don't know.. I think it said 1957 or something.. maybe you should ask Mr. Martinez. He has been here forever.. if your so interested in my grandfather.." Danny looked at Ray and smiled.

"It isn't funny Danny. Don't you want to know the truth." Michelle said "Do you realize that your grandfather bought this place when he was about 23.. how could he have been wealthy enough to buy all this land as 23?"

The following weekend Constance packed her car, she had decided to take a week and stay with her father. She was going to find out about Ray once and for all. She had to admit she was excited about seeing him again. Her father was thrilled that she wanted to spend her vacation with him. She didn't think he would mind if she had a date with a tall, dark stranger during her stay. She smiled and hoped she was right.

Her father greeted her with a kiss. He helped her unpack her car and said that he was really looking forward to this visit. She assured him that she was too and they would have plenty of time to talk for a change.

"Dad , what do you know about Danny and Ray's fathers. You always make them sound like the demon seed. Why is that?" she asked

Her father sighed and looked at her for a long time , then he said" Both Daniel and Michael used to spend the summers here. After they left for Springfield the family would come back from time to time and vacation at the house. The boys were teens then. They were a handful and I felt sorry for Maria. Daniel was gone so often on business and the boys would get out of hand. I tried to help.. but I wasn't much older than they were when I came to work for their father. I used to take care of gardening and such.. just enough to pay for my keep. I don't know what I would have done without Maria and Daniel. They were like parents to me. God knows, those boys didn't appreciate anything. It was always more..more they made my life miserable whenever they had the chance. " her father stared off into space, lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry Dad, I didn't mean to stir up bad memories.. I seem to be doing that to everyone these days." she sighed.

Ray looked out the window and noticed Constance standing by her car. He told Danny and Michelle he was going for a walk. He headed for the cottagee

Ray and Constance walked down to the beach. The cliff was steep and Ray held her hand as they descended the steps to the sand.

They sat on the beach and neither spoke for a few moments. They stared out at the sea . The ocean was calm today and far out to sea they could see a storm on the horizon.

"Ray, I don't want to pry.. but you seemed so upset the other day when I kissed you on the cheek. You weren't just startled, you looked frightened. I am sorry .. I just want to understand..you know?"

Ray turned and looked at her. She was a beautiful woman and his feelings were too close to the surface these days.. he saw the expression on her face and realized that everything he was thinking must be written on his face.

"I'm a priest, Constance.. I was .. how can I say this without sounding psychotic, drugged and hypnotized. Made to do things that I didn't want to do.. that I had no control over.. I know this sounds strange.. but you have to understand my family and a lot of things that I can't really go into. I am sorry if I reacted to you in any way that made you feel bad. I guess it will just take time to recover." he continued to stare out at the sea. He couldn't look at her,not now..

Constance was stunned. A priest.. wonderful. He was wringing his hands. She wanted to ask what kind of drug had been used. She thought better of it.. he was not ready to talk about that.. or anything more for that matter.

"So, how long have you been a priest.. Ray.. I mean father?"

"I was just ordained recently.. just a month ago.. a lot has happened in that month. " Ray said sadly.

He finally turned and looked at her. He felt he could really trust her. She seemed to understand.. almost more than he did. They stared at each other, both knowing what the other was thinking. Their words saying one thing, their body language saying something quite different.

He wanted to be closer to her. Wanted her.. yes.. he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

She felt that this was a man she could love. She understood every mood and gesture. She wanted him.

Danny and Michelle discussed the letter and what it meant. Michelle still thought that whatever Carmen had described about the past was probably a lie. She was convinced of that.

Danny said that all he knew was what his mother had told him. He had no reason at that time to question it and his childhood was relatively happy. Not always, of course, his father did have a temper and their were times when he even frightened him a little. His mother did her best he felt to protect them from the truth. "She was not the first mother to behave that way, Michelle" Danny said in defense of Carmen.

Mr. Martinez sat in his living room thinking about those days with Maria and Michael. They had saved him from himself. He had run away, left everything behind and they took him in. He was only 15 at the time and if they had not saved him, he was sure he would have ended up in jail. He met Michael in San Francisco. He was outside a restaurant looking in when Michael passed by and asked if he were hungry. He took him to lunch and listened to his story. A step father who beat him and a mother who drank. Not a very happy life for a 15 year old dreamer.

He had no other family and Michael said that if he was willing to work for his keep.. he should stay with him. Michael had insisted that he go back to school. He raised him like a good father from then on. He loved Maria and she was his friend as well as a mother. Yes, they had saved him.. and his future. His wonderful daughter would not be here now if he had followed the path he was on back then.... never would have known the wonderful woman who had been his wife. He would always be grateful to them. Those boys, they were cruel and mean spirited.

What one did not think of , the other did. Their parents never knew the depth of their cruelty.

Ray and Constance continued with their conversation on the beach. It's tone had changed.

Now they danced around the subject each wanted to discuss and instead kept to safe topics.

Finally, Constance had the nerve to ask " Do you know what kind of drug that woman gave you?"

Ray looked down at his hands.. "No, I only know she kept me drugged, first with an injection and then something in my food."

She tried to think of all the possible drugs that could have this effect on him. Some of her thoughts were scary. Some of these hypnotics could do real damage.. long lasting damage.

Michelle received a package. When she opened it she found a jewelry box and a letter. The letter was from Danny's grandmother.

Dear Michelle,

You wonder, I am sure, why I left my jewelry and investments to you. I know that Danny loves you. He told me that himself. I know Daniel and he is fiercely loyal. I know that he loves his mother. They may fight like two animals, but never doubt that he loves his family.

I wanted you to have something to protect yourself with always. Keep these for yourself.

Be careful of Carmen.

I want you to know that Danny's grandfather was an honorable man. I cannot say the same for my sons. I wish things had been different. I thought love alone would salvage them.. It did not.

Please continue to protect Daniel from his mother and from himself.

You can trust Mr. Martinez with your life. He will always help you. He suffered much because of my sons. I have deeded the house he lives in to him. He will live there as long as he likes.

My love to you both,

Abuela

p.s there is a key in the jewel box. It is to a safety deposit box. The bank's name is on the key.

Danny walked into the room and saw Michelle crying.

"What is wrong.. Michelle.. what happened.. is it Rick ??.." Danny ran to her side.

"No, your grandmother" she handed the letter to him.

Danny read it silently and shook his head. What had his father done to Mr. Martinez?

"Michelle, I think we best keep this letter to ourselves. Ray has enough going on right now. Don't you agree? By the way, where is Ray?"

"I don't know .. he said he was going for a walk.. that was hours ago though." Michelle brushed the tears from her face.

Ray lay back on the beach and watched the storm move closer to shore. The air became oppressive suddenly. Far out at sea there were bursts of lightening.

"Looks like were about to have a good storm tonight," Constance commented watching the lightening.

" Yeah, a big storm." Ray sighed

Constance and Ray walked up the steep staircase to the seawall. The rain was light but it threatened a much bigger storm. The wind was strong and Ray and Constance held on to each other for support.

"I'll be all right Ray... you go ahead into the house. I want to run down to the stable anyway. I need to check on something." Constance ran on ahead and Ray watched her go.. fighting the wind. Suddenly the sky opened and the rain came down in torrents. Ray ran for the house and Danny and Michelle greeted him.

"Wow, that came up fast.. where have you been all this time?" Danny asked

"Just walked down to the beach. Had a nice talk with Constance. She is a very good listener."

Ray didn't really want to discuss Constance with Danny.. now was not the time.

The storm really took hold later that night. The lightning lit up the sky for miles. The thunder seemed to roll in from the sea.

All the power went out.

Ray looked out the window from his room and he could see the cottage and flickering light from candles in the living room.

He thought about Constance and wished he had told her how he felt. He was not so sure it was the right time but he wished that she knew how he felt about her.

He knew that he must make a decision.

He thought about Constance all night long. She filled a need in him that he knew would not go away. Perhaps it was time to be honest with himself. His calling had been a fraud brought on by guilt about his family. Yes, he thought, time for the truth.

Danny and Michelle lay in bed that night and talked about his grandmother's letter.

Michelle turned to Danny and asked " What do you think your grandmother meant about Mr. Martinez."

Danny sighed.. " I don't know.. it was all so long ago , Michelle.. I think it is better if we just let it alone."

"Then why would your grandmother tell me that.. I mean she must have wanted us to know.. don't you think? If your mother lied about family history like trying to justify the life you were forced to lead.. don't you want to know.. the truth?"

Danny sighed.. he was not sure he wanted to answer.

Constance sat in the candle light talking to her father.

"Dad, you know I think Ray Santos is the most gentle , kind man I have met in a long time. Why do you object to my talking with him?"

"I will tell you why.. it's something I have never wanted to mention. It is all ancient history.I never thought you would need to know. I suppose now you would always wonder if I didn't explain." he sat back in the darkness .

"Your mother was a kind and gentle girl, I felt that about her immediately.. the same way you describe Ray.. I felt about your mother. She was sixteen when I met her. Just barely sixteen really.. It was summer and I was working here for Maria and Michael. Daniel and Raymond were here that summer. They were ,hmmmmm, around 14 then I guess. I used to see her talking to them. I could tell they were bothering her and I told them to leave her alone. They didn't leave her alone in fact they both ....... raped her that summer. She told me years later. It nearly destroyed her. Everyone in this area knew how powerful the Santos family was.. they knew that Maria would not accept anything being said about her boys. She adored them. That is why I hate those men. " he was silent for a long time.

Constance sat there in shock

"They hated me because their mother gave me this home. They resented anyone getting anything from their mother. They were terrible people. So now you know. "

"Dad you are not telling me that I...."

" Oh God, darling...no... this was long before you were born.. no,no...nothing like that. I am your father."

The next morning Ray announced to Danny that he was leaving the priesthood and that he was going to start his life again.

"I am through paying for the things that my father did.. or for that matter your father, Danny . It is time to put all of that where it belongs.. in the past."

Danny and Michelle shared a perplexed look.

"Where is this coming from Ray?" Danny asked

"I just faced the truth last night ... I stopped lying to myself.. it is very liberating Danny.. try it." Ray walked out the door and headed for the cottage.

"What the hell was that all about?" Danny asked

Michelle sat in silence. She knew what he meant.. she knew that all the lies had finally landed squarely in this house. All of Carmen's lies told to her son to justify the life they had lead. There was no long history of crime because of poverty. It had always been about power and avarice.

Ray eventually married Constance. Danny and Michelle continued to live in the house that Abuela gave them. Danny never spoke to his mother again. Michelle eventually forgave Rick.

What does the truth matter? Haven't we mothers all given our sons a taste for lies, lies which from the cradle upwards lull them, reassure them, send them to sleep: lies as soft and warm as a breast!
--Georges Bernanos (188851;1948), French novelist, political writer. Madame la Comtesse, in The Diary of a Country Priest, ch. 5 (1936).

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