He lay on his side, facing the wall ,eyes closed.
He could not bear to open them...he knew what he would see.
A cinder block wall would be his view.
His thoughts were fractured in a million pieces.
How could this have happened? This was never supposed to happen to him.
He turned over and slowly opened his eyes.
The view changed. The reality didn't. There were bars.
Yes.. bars.. it was a jail.. and he could not leave.
Oh, yes he had visited jails talked with prisoners.. comforted them. Gave them communion.. talked to their families..this couldn't be real.
But it was.
Ray Santos.. Father Santos.. in jail.
He had made his one phone call. He called Carmen. Who else could he call?
No one came.
He had prayed all night.
He admitted .. even cried a little. This was the reason he left his family so long ago.. so that this would never happen to him.
It did anyway.
Maybe this was some kind of lesson... it would be over soon.
Wouldn't it?
Someone would walk in any minute and say "Sorry.. it has been a terrible mistake."
No one said that.
He sat on the edge of the cot, his feet resting on the cold floor. He felt a chill go up his spine as he remembered last night.
He had walked in the park. The night had been beautiful, stars were bright and it was a full moon.
Yes, a full moon and a soft summer breeze.
He saw the blood on the walkway. So much blood and he meant to look further, but something told him that he should not.
" Stay away" he thought
He hadn't known about the police.. didn't see them.. they saw him. He was a Santos wasn't he? He had to be guilty .. had to be arrested.
Where was Carmen? Why didn't she come...or send Danny. He got up from the cot and began to pace the cell.. back and forth.. . No one.. no one came to help him.
Carmen sat at her desk.. the phone in her hand. Michelle and Danny entered the room and proceeded to pour coffee for themselves . They didn't notice Carmen. They hardly noticed her at all anymore. Ever since Michelle became pregnant they ignored her and Danny was floating through the days oblivious of everything and everyone.
Michelle and Danny, heads together.. laughing at a private joke.
Carmen hated them both.. Ben was gone and she had no one now. No one should be that happy when she was so miserable.
"Danny!" Carmen said intent on getting his attention
Danny turned slowly toward her , reluctant to leave his conversation with Michelle.
"What?" he said distractedly
"It's Ray, Danny.. he has been arrested." Carmen said, not without some satisfaction. She saw the shocked look on Danny's face.
Suddenly Danny laughed..." Are you joking, Mother.. bad joke"
"No I am not joking" Carmen said smugly
"They have accused him of Nino's murder" Carmen got up from the desk and poured herself a cup of coffee.
Michelle and Danny both stared at her in disbelief.
Ray continued to pace the cell. The guard asked if he wanted to talk to someone. There was someone here to see him.
He sighed. At last.. Carmen came or maybe Danny. He smiled.
"Please , yes I want to see them"
"No them.. him" the guard said
It was Bernard who stood before him. Face grim and angry
"Why did you kill my son, Ray? What did he do to you? Did Carmen put you up to this.. did they think we wouldn't find out? Bernard glared at Ray his eyes like lasers.
"I did not kill anyone, Bernard.. no one.. I could not do that.. for anyone... please believe that. This is some kind of terrible mistake."
The guard stood off to the side. He was obviously a friend of Bernard's. Ray felt sure this was a not too subtle warning. He was not unfamiliar with the ways of Bernard's family.
Bernard stepped back and whispered something to the guard.
Ray tried to hear what he said.. he could not.
Bernard left, walking quickly to the double doors leading outside.
Ray asked the guard if he would be assigned a lawyer.
The guard shrugged and walked away.
****
She was new to the public defenders office. She had passed the bar a year ago. Took some time to explore her options and decided this was a place to start. She didn't want the D.A.'s office.. she thought prosecution was not her style.
Moira Ryan was tiny and had a mass of red hair. Although her appearance bespoke of cute and feisty .. only the feisty part applied. She had the proclivities of a bull dog. She never let go of anything that she believed in and she believed in defendant's rights.
Father Tomas's call was directed to Moira's line.
"Moira Ryan here" she answered
"This is father Tomas.. one of my priests has found himself in some trouble. Could you go to him please. His name is Ray Santos" Father Tomas's voice was shaking. He could not understand how this could happen to Ray.
"Santos?" Moira looked worried. Defendants were one thing. .the mob that was another.
"Yes, Ray Santos.. he is a priest Ms. Ryan. I know he has done nothing wrong. He could never hurt anyone, much less kill someone." he assured her.
"Murder.. this is a murder case? Who is he supposed to have murdered ,father?" she asked.This just got worse.
"A person named Nino Rivera"
"I see" Moira ran her hand through her hair. "God, a mob hit on another mobster" she thought.. this should be fun.
"Father , I will go and see him. Yes, within the hour. I promise you." Moira hung up the phone and put her head in her hands. "This could be the biggest mistake I ever made in my life." she muttered to herself.
Ray sat in the cell , furious at Carmen. She had done some pretty rotten things in her life and he knew that,but this was beyond the pale. How could she leave him here like this. She professed to care about him and always acted as though he was special in her eyes.. and now this.. he started to worry about being set up by her. Maybe she had this done.. his paranoia now was running rampant.
Frank walked up to the cell.
"Well, I guess you Santos have outsmarted yourselves this time. Did they think we would never arrest a priest? I thought your people were smart..guess not" Frank smirked.
"I did nothing.. my name has nothing to do with this. Why would I do such a thing?" Ray caught himself before he spoke further. He knew he should not say anything.. "wait" he thought "wait for a lawyer"
His gaze wandered beyond Frank and he saw Moira enter through the double doors.
"Ray Santos?" she asked.
Frank stepped aside., he knew what would be said next. He would be asked to leave. He turned and walked away.
"Yes?" Ray answered.
"I am your lawyer. We are going to have a little talk. In the meantime say nothing to anyone. I will be back in about 1 hour. I need to get some information from the police ..then I will be back, O.K.?" she smiled.
"Thank you.. thank you so much.. did Carmen send you? " he asked.
"No, I am from the public defenders office and your parish called. Father Tomas, I believe?" she wondered if he was referring to Carmen Santos and did not like that thought one bit.
"Oh.. well thank you anyway.." Ray sighed and sat down on the narrow cot.
Moira went to the police department she wanted to talk with Frank.
Frank handed her a copy of the arrest report and remarked that Ray was where he belonged. It was where all Santos belonged.
She thought to herself that it was the biggest mistake he would make today. Police prejudice, this cop was a moron.
She quietly left to prepare for court. Ray would be out by noon. She assured herself of that.
*****
Danny and Michelle rushed down to the jail. Danny was furious with Carmen, as usual. She never ceased to amaze him with her cruelty. He thought she adored Ray. He did not understand this turn of events at all.
Michelle knew he was upset and kept holding his hand even as he drove. They pulled up in front of the jail and Danny told Michelle to wait in the car. She said she would not. They argued back and forth and finally Danny relented.
"I am only thinking of you...this isn't the most pleasant place in town." Danny objected
"I am not going to let you go in there by yourself. You will just blow up or make a scene.. I know how you are about Ray." Michelle kissed him on the cheek and got out of the car.
Danny shook his head and followed her. "Let her do what she wants, she will anyway" he thought.
They entered the jail and Danny was right.. it was not pleasant. Michelle looked around at all the people waiting to ask questions or to see a prisoner. They all looked so desperate.
It made Michelle very unhappy and it showed on her face.
"I knew it.. go wait in the car.. you don't need to be in here!" Danny growled.
"I want to see Ray.. I will see Ray and I am not going to leave!" Michelle growled back
Danny sighed and said he gave up and he wouldn't say anymore.
Moira entered the building at the same time. She walked to the desk and announced that she was Ray Santos lawyer and she wanted to see him now.
Danny and Michelle overheard her and both appeared on either side of her talking at once.
"Ray...we are Ray's relatives.. you are his lawyer?" Michelle asked at the same time Danny was saying" I am Danny Santos, Ray's cousin"
Moira turned to face them and laughed.
"O.K. got that.. you are worried about Ray. Don't be. I doubt that there will be any charges let alone a murder charge. This whole thing is ridiculous. I don't mean to be insulting Mr.Santos but the only thing your cousin is guilty of is his name. The police as much as admitted that, so I will talk with him and hopefully he will be out of this place this afternoon. I'm sorry , I didn't introduce myself .. I am Moira Ryan and I am with the public defenders office."
"Oh thank you ..Ms Ryan.. we just can't thank you enough" Michelle said.
Danny was silent. He was angry and it showed on his face. Poor Ray.. just because of the name.. and he was sure it was true. At least this lawyer knew the truth when she saw it and for that he was grateful.
"Ms. Ryan.. we appreciate what you are doing. However, if this doesn't work out.. "
"I know, Mr. Santos you will get him another lawyer.. that is up to you of course."
Moira thought to herself and "It will be allright with me too.. no mob connections for this lady"
Moira left to see Ray.
Ray sat in his cell, head in hands...it seemed like hours since the attorney left. He heard the double doors swing open and she was walking briskly toward the cell. The guard opened the cell door and Moira smiled broadly at Ray.
"Ray, they have nothing.. absolutely nothing. They arrested you because you were in the vicinity.. and your name was Santos. I don't think you will be in here much longer. I cannot imagine a judge who would allow you to stay in here under the circumstances. That Frank whatever his name is made a big mistake. He admitted to me that he was prejudiced about you because of your name. Trust me ,o.k... I can fix this."
Ray hugged her .. he was embarrassed .. but he was also desperate. He didn't think he could stand another minute in this cell. He was ashamed of his lack of fortitude.
"Your cousin is waiting to see you. So unless you have some questions I will start working on this right now. I am going to meet with the D.A. and I know it will be all right.. o.k.?"
As she turned to go all Ray could say was a whispered "Thank you"
She smiled and left.
Danny and Michelle were led to a room and a few minutes later Ray appeared. No jailhouse clothes, just slacks and a shirt. The same clothes he had worn for his walk in the park.
"Danny, why didn't Carmen call a lawyer for me. Someone must have told Father Tomas about the arrest. I don't understand." Ray said
"How do I know, Ray.. how can I ever explain my mother.. nothing she does is consistent.. "
"Michelle, you shouldn't be here.. I mean I am glad to see you but.. you shouldn't" Ray said
"Oh, not you too Ray.. I wanted to see you,make sure you were O.K." Michelle put her hands over his. "You are my favorite cousin" Michelle laughed.
"She says I will be out soon. Someone killed Nino ,Danny. Who would do that? Bernard came in here and accused me.. me.. why would I kill Nino.. or anybody for that matter. This is crazy. " Ray shook his head
"Ray, we will find out who did this.. we do not need a war on our hands.. that is why I don't understand my mother.. I don't know what she is thinking." Danny said
They talked the allotted amount of time and then the guard showed up and said it was time to leave.
Danny and Michelle reluctantly left Ray standing there next to the guard looking miserable.
When they arrived home Carmen was sitting at her desk and working on the lap top. Deitz was sitting across from her. She looked up when they walked in and then went back to the computer.
"Mother.. this is probably the lowest thing you have ever done. I didn't think you could sink any lower.. but guess what ..you did!" Danny shouted
"Honey.. please calm down" Michelle said
"No.. Michelle.. no I have to talk to my mother. Please leave us alone.. you too Deitz." Danny said trying to control his voice.
Deitz ambled from the room glancing over his shoulder at Carmen. Michelle walked by him and went to their bedroom.
"O.K. Mother.. start talking.. explain this away." Danny snarled
"All right Danny.. I will. Thank you for speaking to me.. you haven't had much to say to me lately have you? Think about it Danny, how would it look if I sent an attorney for Ray. I called Father Tomas.. he took care of it .. as he should have. Do you really want my name attached to this .. I don't think so..Ray is in enough trouble. I thought it best if I stayed out of it all together." Carmen sat back in her chair and stared at Danny.
"Did you know that your friend Bernard went to see Ray.. more like threaten Ray?" Danny asked.
"No, I did not. But , it was his son.. I'm not surprised.. are you?" She looked at him through hooded eyes. Her expression had gone completely blank.. the unreadable face reserved for her enemies.
****
Danny walked off , angry at her again. She was being cold and secretive and he needed warmth today.. today it was about Ray.. and Michelle.. the baby. "The hell with her" he thought as he opened the bedroom door.
Michelle sat on the bed crying.
"Michelle.. babe... what .. what is wrong" Danny ran to her side.
"Nothing.. just Ray ..you know he looked so pitiful. He was miserable Danny .. and scared. I know that feeling only to well.. how could your mother not help him.. I thought she loved Ray?" Michelle pulled Danny closer.
They sat on the bed, arms wrapped around each other, Michelle's face pressed against his chest.
"Don't worry.. that lawyer said she would get him out of there today.. if she doesn't .. I have another plan.. please don't worry Michelle" Danny said as authoritatively as he could muster at the moment.
Moira met with the district attorney.
He agreed that the case was not worth pursuing.
The police had nothing.
She returned to the jail and spoke with Ray. He thanked her profusely .
"I will get your paper work taken care of, they will come and get you in about thirty minutes or so.. O.K. ?" she smiled.
"You are a wonderful attorney.. I hope I never need your services again.. but if you would allow me.. I would like to take you to dinner. That is if you can risk being seen with a Santos?" he looked down at the floor.
"Please.. I do not judge people by their names , Father give me some credit.. " she hesitated and the said " Yes.. I would love dinner." and she handed him her card.
Ray went through the process of being released.
Frank stood off to the side glaring at him.
David stood beside him whispering into Frank's ear. David was still bitter about his failed attempt to bring down the Santos family. Pilar was not as dumb as she looked and knew that he was not sincere. She had played it out until the end and he still failed to find anything useful in his pursuit. She was truly her mother's daughter.
Ray walked out into the sunshine. He stood on the steps of the jail and breathed in the fresh air. Everything seemed sharper and in focus. He was free.
A week later he called Moira and she accepted his invitation to the Towers. He decided on the only dark suit he had and tried to prepare for his date. Funny word.. he hadn't done this for a while.. date.. but it was sounding better all the time.
He picked her up from her small apartment. She told him someday.. someday she would live in one of those houses up on the hill. Right now she loved what she was doing. She felt proud of her accomplishments. Ray told her she had every right to feel proud. She was a very smart lawyer. She agreed " Yes, I am .". and laughed.
Towers was fairly quiet. It was midweek and still early for dinner. Ray was glad that she had agreed to an early dinner.. he had a 6:00 AM mass the next day. Not his favorite time of the day he informed Moira.
They sat down and ordered their dinners. They were enjoying the wine when someone walked up to the table and said " Don't think that the two of you got away with this.. do not ever think that." Bernard was glaring down at Ray.
Moira spoke up before Ray could say anything" If that was a threat ..and I think it was.. you had better leave before I have you arrested... I have a few friends of my own!!" Moira glared at him.
Ray said nothing and continued to look down at his plate.
Bernard started to say something and then changed his mind and left.
"Who in the hell does he think he is.. in a public place.. I thought mob guys were supposed to be smart.. that was a dumb move" Moira laughed
Ray didn't.
Moira was puzzled by Ray's silence. Suddenly he was a million miles away.
"Ray.. hello.. earth to Ray.." she reached across the table to touch his hand.
He pulled it away.
She wondered if he was just upset because she was being too familiar.
"Ray...I didn't mean to be too touchy feely.. I just wanted to get your attention.." she smiled tentatively
"Oh... no...Moira I am sorry .. I didn't mean that at all .. just lost in thought. We have known Bernard for a long time.. I am sorry he is grieving" Ray went back to his meal.
Moira continued to look at him a puzzled expression on her face. She was a pretty good reader of faces.. she told her self .. and that look confused her. He looked totally indifferent to anybody's grief at that moment. She shook her head as though she could rid her self of any unpleasant thoughts and resumed her meal too.
Danny and Michelle decided to dine in their room at Casa Santos.. Michelle said she had enough of Carmen and her snide remarks about keeping her weight down. She didn't need her medical advice.
"Danny..you know we have to leave here.. right.. I mean when the baby comes.. I don't mean to sound cruel..but I don't want you mother around then.. she drives me crazy" Michelle put her fork down and lifted the napkin to her lips.
The expression on Danny's face was so funny that she started to laugh and tried to hide behind the napkin.
He looked amazed that she would even think they could stay here after the baby.
"No.. do you really think I would stay here.. has this pregnancy affected your brain?" Danny pulled the napkin away from her face.
Michelle continued to laugh.
"Well, O.K. I guess that was a dumb question. Did you know that Ray went out with that lawyer for dinner?" Michelle asked as she continued her meal.
"You working for the paper now.?. don't you think you better put that in your gossip column? How did you know that anyway? Pregnancy causing psychic moments or something?" Danny laughed
"Just thought it was interesting. She's kind of cute ..huh? " Michelle looked down at her plate.. when she did look up .. Danny was staring at her.. he looked a little upset.
"He is a priest Michelle. It doesn't matter if she is "cute". " Danny glared.
"kay.. won't say another word. Be a good wife.. eat my dinner and keep my opinions to myself " Michelle said smiling.
Ray took Moira home and said very little on the way. Moira felt uncomfortable and hoped she hadn't said or done something to upset him. "He was such a good person and not bad looking either" she thought hoping a lightning bolt didn't strike her for thinking that way.
He walked her to her door.
"It was nice seeing you and I am so grateful for everything you have done. I will never forget that believe me" Ray said solemnly
"I did my job and I was glad I could help" " uh oh, I did offend him"she thought
She went into her apartment and sat on the couch her purse in her lap.
She was completely puzzled by this man.
Ray got in the car and drove for quite a while. Thoughts spinning through his mind. Bernard .. he was not going to let this go.. what would happen when Deitz was gone he wondered. He had to do it.. they defiled the church.. they had defiled him.. he couldn't let that go by.
He wasn't raised that way. No.. his father taught him well.. just like his uncle .. an eye for an eye. He had never subscribed to that before .. this was different. He knew things now. He knew that Deitz had betrayed Carmen.. he knew because she told him. She told him it was his duty now. His duty to the church and to the family. Carmen was depending on him and she knew the ways better than he.. she would guide him she said...
Danny.. he was sorry to lie to Danny.. he loved him.. his cousin and Michelle too.. a new baby on the way.. he was happy for them. Carmen had done so much for him....he wished that Danny didn't hate his mother...but that is Danny's life. Danny's decision. He would go back and take care of Deitz soon. Every debt paid then.. he would be truly free.
Really free.. no more illusions of freedom.. the real thing.
Spain.. yes Spain is nice.. or maybe Brazil.. Carmen said anywhere in the world. After a while he would leave the priesthood. No one the wiser.. just another drop out ..Carmen.. what a sly one she was.. he had to admire that.. yes.. admire her .
The End
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