Dear Readers: There are a few tidbits in this piece for those who have been watching GL for a few years. But fear not, you do not need a knowledge of GL's history to get this piece. Oh, no the Shakespearian-like portrayal of Dietz is enough to keep you hooked for quite a while. Come along now, Dietz is waiting.
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Dietz awoke with a knot on the side of his head and a terrible pain on the side of his face. He reached up and felt his mouth, yep his pearly whites were still in place. But man, did he hurt. He felt an oozy sticky substance on the side of his head near the ear and realized it was blood. Lucky he was still feeling anything he thought. He was tied up in a dark room. He couldn't tell where he was but thought it might be a basement or an attic.
As luck would have it, David Grant entered the room and turned on the overhead light. Basement, he was in a basement probably in the Spaulding Mansion itself. Well, Dietz, I must have hit you pretty hard, you were out for the better part of the night. Would you like to tell me what you are doing here? And by the way, I�d personally like to thank your for getting me in trouble with the case manager over at the CIA.
Hey man, just doing my job, Dietz replied. How did you know I was here, anyway?
Well, Dietz, there is only one house hooked up to the police station central alarm system. When it went off earlier tonight, I figured it was you.
Alarm, where, what?
The alarm system is hooked up all over the estate, the infrared system you set off was in the barn, near that prize winning horse's stall, you know the world famous Carla Ray?
No, never heard of the horse or its reputation before now, Dietz replied. Good looking horse though.
Well, the world famous Carla Ray, is so well known because she comes in second in every race she runs in; never first, never last, never in the middle of the pack. The Spauldings are making a mint off of that little beauty, I can tell you. What's wrong, Dietzy, don't you like horsies or are you scared of them?
I respect horses David. I've been around them most of my adult life. I spent a lot of time with them while the Santos family lived over in Spain and then again when they summered all those years down in the Caribbean.
Well, you'll never get near that horse again, Dietz. That is for sure. I've just made sure she goes into the locked inner stables just for safe keeping.
Dietz is totally confused, befuddled really. What the hell would David Grant think he'd want with a horse, that horse? Surely, Grant knew he was here to investigate grape jasmine perfume. Well, he'd try and keep his mouth shut and find out what was going on. So David, Dietz went on to say, what's with this horse business? Don't you know why I'm here?
Dietzy, I thought you were brighter than this. Let me give you a hint, the horse is grape jasmine and grape jasmine is the horse, get it?
Yeah, sure, Dietz said. But he didn't get it, didn't get it at all. Grant left him tied up to the chair he was sitting in for what seemed to be days.
But it was actually only a few hours. He heard a sound coming toward the door, then saw the door open. A small girl was skipping down the stairs, it was that Lizzie girl.
Lizzie came dancing down the stairs singing a little tune she later said Annie Dutton had taught her, the song went something like this, "Lizzie Borden went to trial and laughed and laughed and she killed her daddy with 40 whacks and turned to her mom and applied 50 more." Lizzie didn't quite understand the song but Annie said it had to do with one of her heroines who had gotten mad at her mommy and daddy back in the late 1800�s and when she couldn't take it anymore had taken matters into her own hands.
Lizzie missed Annie now that she seemed to have gone to where Granddad called Limbo land. But she had all those great memories of the time they'd spent together before she left. Annie was the only adult who ever paid any attention to her.
Oh, hi mister, what are you doing here? You look funny too, who did that to your face? Would you like me to untie you and bring you some food?
Dietz was puzzled as Grant had cleaned him up before he left and shown him a mirror. From what he'd seen then, his appearance was back to normal. Hmmm, kids he thought, always joking with him about his looks. Yeah, kid, please.
Lizzie trotted upstairs and returned with doughnuts, coffee and hot dogs. What was with this town, Dietz thought, no one seemed to eat normal food, nor did any seem available?
Dietz chowed down with Lizzie�s help. Lizzie got a lot of respect from Dietz that day, she could drink down the coffee right with him, cup for cup.
Dietz decided to ask the kid some questions, what the heck, right?
So kid, what is with this horse and the grape jasmine and what is with your mom running around without her clothing on all the time and is she seeing anyone right now?
No, Mr. Dietz, mommy was seeing someone but I got jealous and took care of that. I called a friend of mine who agreed to help and now that man is with her out on the farm and mommy is mine again. Mommy doesn't like to wear clothes a lot because she says it restricts her arm movements. But I don't know much about the horsies and grape jasmine unless you mean those flowers that I braid Carla�s mane with.
What kid? This one was proving to be a lot smarter than most adults he'd met. And she didn't seem scared of him, which was novel.
Well, Carla, the horsey likes to win her races so grandpa showed me how to braid her mane with this special oil and the flowers that makes this perfume. But Carla never wins she always comes in second but grandpa never seems sad, in fact, he seems happier that way.
Look kid, I don't like it that you are down here with me unsupervised, I've got kids of my own. I want you to scamper back upstairs now and go and get who ever takes care of you and have them watch over you for a while okay?
Dietz thought this kid is a walking time bomb. What was with these Spauldings not looking after their prized possessions? This was a sweet kid that needed love and attention and it wasn't his place to try and keep her company. Why it would look unseemly and creepy. And one thing Dietz didn't want to do was appear creepy, on purpose.
Lizzie ran upstairs calling for Nettie and seemed to disappear. Hopefully the maid will play a game with her or take her to a movie or that nice park in Springfield with the one park bench. Why didn't these kids ever seem to go to school in this town? Enough of this, Dietz thought, back to work.
Now the horse was destined to come in second was it? And something about those flowers and the oil predetermined it, huh? Oh my God in himmer, Dietz thought, the flowers in that horses mane were grape jasmine flowers. He was starting to grasp what was happening but what did the grape jasmine have to do with the races? And where was everybody in this mansion? How big was this place that people seemed to go in but never came back out? And how could he find out what he needed to know tonight?
He slowly walked up the stairs, saw the alarm system and turned off the sensors in the house, if it was done inside, it wouldn't trigger the police alarm and from the looks of emptiness in this place, everyone was either at dinner or out to lunch! He walked up to the second floor to look out the window to see if he could locate this inner stable that David Grant had mentioned. He passed Beth who was now at least partially dressed. She had on a blue business suit but with its high thigh slit and low buttoned bodice, he could tell she had nothing on underneath. Man, this woman needed some company and fast. But no time, not now. He noted that Beth was singing a strange old Broadway tune from that musical West Side Stones, the song was I Feel Pretty, Oh so Pretty. At least he thought that was the musical, hard to tell with folk show tunes.
He finally got to a window with a good view and what a sight he saw. There was Vicki Spaulding along with David Grant and the most prominent member of the Family Flan, Ninoretti Flan (also known as Nino for short, he got a lot of ribbing about his Christian name). The horse was there too and so were about 1000 bottles of Grape Jasmine perfume. Holy jumping horses, Dietz thought. This is the mother load. I don't need no one to tell me anything else, I have finally figured this out.
He ran back down the Spaulding steps and on the way down, tripped on one of the landings and tumbled down to the bottom of the steps. Gosh, someone could fall and really hurt themselves on those, why if a pregnant woman fell she could miscarry.
He ran out of the house, hailed a cab and hightailed it to the country club. After he did what he needed to there, he'd need to go to Cedars Hospital, he probably needed to get his head x-rayed or do one of those things you do with a cat to check out your brain. He didn't understand how a cat could help him right now, but he'd learned not to question doctors too much. If he got the okay from Dr. Rick, the only legit doctor in town that wasn't on the take, then he'd be off to San Cristobel on the next flight. There was a certain prince he needed to see before ensuring the Santos� safety. Yep, he had to do that right away. Good thing the air rates were low right now down to San Cristobel.
San Cristobel, a lovely little island, mean temperature 80 degrees, population 500, best months to go June to November. Yep, for once all the stars were in alignment.
He arrived at the country club, straightened his tie and coat and started to go in. He glanced in the mirror at his hair, too orderly, he thought and removed his teasing comb from his pocket and tousled his hair, there that is better. He walked in, ordered his standard drink of a weak slow gin fizz at the bar and settled in until his client arrived.
He looked around, it had taken him 4 minutes to get from the Spaulding Mansion to the country club via a cab--he hated to walk (the house abuts the club's golf course). The group he'd seen over at the Spauldings had not been dressed for evening so there was no way he'd run into them here if he hurried and finished up his business. All he had to do was wait for his contact to show, tell her something and then skidaddle. He felt a hand on his jacket and turned to see the sneering face of Alan Spaulding. We need to talk Mr. Dietz, let me finish this song set I've started and then you will have to come with me. Spaulding then started singing a strange melancholy version of Lady From Spain. This was too weird Dietz thought, too weird for me, and that is saying a lot. He settled back in to finish his drink, saw a marquee board announcing tonight's show featuring the song stylings of Alan Spaulding and his macarena band.
Then darn it, he felt someone else with their paws on his suit. He turned around and saw her. He dropped his drink including its little paper umbrella when he saw her. When did you get here, she asked?
Dietz hesitated, what could he tell her, now?