Resist - A Continuation
Parts 30-31
My heart feels like it’s going to explode. Danny Santos is crying because he misses me? I don’t know what to say. He looks sincere. But can I trust him? This could all be a cruel joke. Danny has always made it clear that he has to have control. Is this his way of reminding me he will always have the upper hand?
I immediately know the answer. I see it in his eyes, through the tears. They show love, fear, desperation, joy, understanding, and passion. Or is it all passion?
“Danny,” I whisper. Then I stand up and back away. He just stares at me. I can’t think straight with him looking at me like that. So I literally run to my bedroom and shut the door. I thought he would come after me. But he doesn’t.
After ten minutes of trying to figure out what to do, I quietly open my bedroom door and step out into the hallway. I notice Andrew’s bedroom door ajar and look in. Danny is kneeling beside our son’s bed. He’s saying something. I strain to hear.
“Well, son. I tried to tell Mama, but she’s scared. And I don’t blame her. I’ve been nothing but a bastard from the moment I laid eyes on her. Maybe too much has happened between us, to us. I’m going to give her back her freedom…from me. She deserves someone better."
He pauses before continuing, "By the way, I called her date Dr. Do-Little like you asked me to." I can hear the smile in his voice.
"Okay son, I’ll see you in the morning. I love you and your mom. I waited too late to tell her, though.”
He kisses Andrew on the forehead and just sits there, continuing to watch our son sleep.
I love you, too Danny. I think it. I cannot allow myself to say it. Not again, not yet. Silently, I slip down the hallway and go into the kitchen.
It’s almost 10:30 PM. I jump when the telephone rings.
“Hello?”
“Hi. It’s me Colin.”
Ugh. “Oh hi. You made it home okay.” I try to sound...cheerful.
“Yeah. Look. I need to tell you something.”
Jerk “What’s that?” I really don’t feel like talking to this guy…ever again. But I keep my voice light.
“Well, um, remember I told you I made it my business to know what was going on with your life?”
“Uh huh.” Yes and I wish you hadn't asshole.
“That’s not exactly true.”
What the hell is he talking about? “Go
ahead.”
“Your husband contacted me…”
Click. That son-of-a-bitch.
_____________________________________________
I don't even give Colin a chance to finish. There's no need. My husband has been playing with me all this time. Well, I'm done playing games.
Kathleen is here in no time. She lives on the floor above us. My husband was kind enough to rent us apartments at an extended stay hotel. I sold my house when I married Danny. Another in a long list of mistakes.
She'll bring Andrew back tomorrow morning. I don't want him hearing what I have to say to his father. He's the only good thing to come out of my relationship with Danny.
I tell Danny that we need some time alone tonight. He doesn't know Colin called. He doesn't even question why I want to be alone with him. I guess he thinks we're going to 'make love'.
We both give our son a hug before he leaves with Kathleen. Once the door closes, though, it's on.
"So. Michelle," he says calmly, "I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with, but I will try harder...I am trying harder to be what you need." He's sitting on the sofa. I'm still at the door. I walk over to him and stand between his legs.
Then I slap him.
He grabs his face and yells, "What the hell did you do that for?!"
"Let's see. Why would I slap my husband? I don't know. Could it be because you have played me for a fool Danny?!" I step away and start pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table.
"You didn't miss me. And you sure as hell don't love me."
"I never said I...," he realizes I must have heard him talking to Andrew.
"Well, I missed you and I love you. But I don't want you. I don't want a man who only wanted me in the first place for sport. I don't want a man who only wants me to help continue his line. I don't want a man who thinks setting me up with a fake date is a great way to prove that I'm his."
The look on his face is priceless.
"Yes, Danny. I know you set me up with Colin. Being the nice, decent man he probably really is, he couldn't deceive me. That was him who called earlier, you know. I didn't let him tell me all the details, though."
I stop pacing and look at him. He can't meet my gaze. "All I want you to tell me is why you have to play these games? Do you want me or not? Wait. Don't answer that. Because like I said before, I DO NOT want you."
Danny doesn't say anything. He just sits there looking anywhere but my direction.
"If all you wanted to do was fuck, I would have obliged. At least then, there would be no mistaking where I stand with you."
That must have touched a nerve because he jumps up and kicks the coffee table. Suddenly, I feel afraid. All I think about is Nino. I back up as Danny heads toward me. He grabs my arm and pulls me to him. There is something unreadable in his eyes. Hurt, maybe?
He kisses me hard. I try to get away from him, but his grip is too tight. So, I start hitting him with my free hand. He's not letting me go and he's still kissing me. Oh my God. It's Nino all over again.
I start to cry and Danny finally releases me and I stumble. He must see that I'm afraid.
"Oh God. Michelle, I'm sorry. Michelle? Please. I didn't mean to hurt you." He's still standing in front of me.
I stay where I am. Crying. Between sobs I manage to talk. "You didn't mean to hurt me? Danny you've done nothing but hurt me. You picked up where Nino left off."
"I would never do to you what that...that monster did. I could never hurt the woman I love...or any woman like that."
"No? But hurting her every other way is okay. Right. Well you're not going to get the chance to hurt me anymore in any way." I need to sit down and go to the sofa. Danny comes over and kneels before me.
He takes my hand in his. "Michelle, look. I know I've done some crazy things, but you make me crazy. Do you want to know why I always insist I be in control?" He doesn't give me a chance to answer. "Because I'm not. You have no idea the hold you have over me. I'm an insane bastard, yes, but believe me when I say I love you, miss you, need you."
"Danny, please. You treat me like shit. That's not love. The only thing you love about me...us is our physical attraction."
"I won't lie. You and I do have a strong sexual relationship, but it's more than that. I have been fighting to keep me, Danny Santos alive. And you...with you I'm not Danny Santos. I don't know who I am."
"You're not making sense. Nothing you say will excuse anything you've done to me. You've done nothing but use me."
"So you don't believe I love you?"
"No."
"I love you, Michelle."
"You love our son. Not me."
"I love you, Michelle."
"It's not going to work, Danny. We can't work. You say I make you do crazy things. And why didn't you tell me two weeks ago that you love me? What was the deal with the Colin crap?"
"I honestly didn't know what I felt two weeks ago. But I know now. And I am sorry about Dr. Beckett. It was a stupid test. Once again, my ego got in the way." He brings my hands to his chest. "While you and Andrew were gone, I realized something." He kisses the palm of both my hands.
I will not give in to him. "And what's that, Danny?" I say curtly.
"I love you, Michelle."
He smiles at me and moves his hand under my dress, then between my legs. I gasp and try to get up. But my movements make the contact even more intimate.
"Danny, please stop. Our strong sexual connection doesn't equal love. We need to focus on the issues." I barely get out my words. His fingers are do delicious things to me down there.
Danny is still before me on his knees and starts pulling my pantyhose down. "I am focusing. You will have all my attention from this day forth," he says as he starts pushing my dress up, kissing my thighs until he gets to his prize.
I lift my hips to help him push my dress up around my hips. My hands immediately go to his curls. "Danny, please stop."
"Make me." He pulls my underwear down and discards them. "Michelle, let me show you how much I love you. It's more than sex now. Let me make love to you. Let me make love to my wife."
Something in his voice convinces me that he means what he is saying. Then, I think back to earlier, when he was talking to a sleeping Andrew. Danny's always been honest with Andrew. He does love me. I nod my head yes and when his lips touch me, I say it aloud.
His lips massage me and then his tongue is on me. I open my legs wider and press his head to me. Danny grabs my legs as I wrap them around his back. I'm moaning, begging for release. He complies and moves his hands to my bottom and lifts me off the sofa, never stopping his ministrations. I cry out. Danny has never been as into it as he is now. It's as if he has found the sweetest nectar and is devouring it.
All I can do is moan his name as I slide into the abyss. My climax is so strong, that I grip his curls tighter as I succumb to this ecstasy.
He lifts his head and pulls my dress over my shoulders and tosses it aside. Then, he unhooks my bra and sends it the way of the dress. I quickly help him out of his clothes. Danny lays me back on the sofa and joins me. He is suckling my breast and I slip my hand between us to stroke his sex. He moans and then kisses me. I taste myself and tell Danny I want him. We get back on the floor, kneeling, with him behind me. He grinds his sex against my bottom, while his fingers find my treasure. His fingers caress me until I'm on the verge of another climax. Then he enters me from behind replacing his fingers with his sex.
I grip the edge of the sofa as Danny entwines one hand in my hair. He squeezes my hip with his other hand and then starts to thrust. It feels so good. And I tell him so. He releases my hair and now has both hands on my hips. While thrusting, Danny starts to move his hips in a circular motion. I lean forward and lay my head on the sofa, reveling in our love making.
We're both moaning, and I hear him say my name. He continues to chant it. Before, he would sort of say my name in a low, husky voice as he came. But now, Danny is different. He's thrusting harder and moaning in a high pitched voice. That turns me on and I feel my release coming. I sense Danny's release, too and as we both come, Danny shouts, "Oh God Michelle, I love you! I love you!"
And I believe him.