Have Faith In Me
Parts 5-6
By Kelly
I awake as the sun is coming up with a kink in my neck, a smile on my face, and Michelle still curled in my arms. She looks so peaceful finally, and that makes my smile grow, for so long last night after she drifted off to sleep her face was a mask of pain. She awoke several times in tears clinging to me. I want to wake up like this with her in my arms for the rest of my life. I know that I can’t tell her that yet, but I will, right now, I will be everything she needs to help her get through this mess with her Mom’s funeral, and dealing with her Father. I am worried about meeting the esteemed Dr. Bauer today, not that I am afraid of him, but because I am worried about what it will do to my Michelle, and my biggest worry is about what I will do to him. He better not even look at Michelle funny or I won’t be responsible for what I do to him, and Michelle does not need that kind of a scene right now. She is starting to stir, I hate to awaken her, but she does need to get up so we can get ready to meet with the funeral home.
She sits up with a start, “Danny!”
Shhh, I’m right here, just like I promised.”
“Hi,” she offers me that small smile that makes my heart skip a beat, “I’m so glad you are still here.”
“Me too, but, remember I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere, I’m here for you for good.”
“What time is it?”
“A little after 7:00, the meeting is at 10:30 right?”
“Yes”
“Well, I know you may not feel like it but you really need to eat something, and I think we would both feel better with a shower and a change of clothes.”
“No, Danny, I can’t go back to my dad’s not even for a shower and clothes, please, don’t make me.”
“It’s OK, Michelle, I won’t make you go back there. I have an idea, why don’t we go to my house, you can shower there, and I think I have some clothes you could wear too.”
I feel my face fall, the little voice goes off, “see Michelle, he’s just like all other men, why else would he have “some clothes you could wear” at his house?” I really thought Danny was different, special, and that he really cared about me as more than a friend, I guess the voice was right.
She stiffened in my arms when I said something about having clothes for her to wear, and her eyes looked like her heart was breaking. Then I realize what I said, what kind of idiot am I? Of course she thinks I keep spare clothes laying around “just in case”.
“No, Michelle, it’s not like that....the clothes belong to my sister Pilar, she and my mother are away in Europe, but there are still a lot of her clothes at the house, and she is just about your size.”
I feel myself let out a sigh, and my heart feels hopeful again. He knew right away, what I was thinking, and fixed it. “Oh, your sister’s things. Wait a minute, you mean you still live at home?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice at hearing this, I never would have guessed that Danny Santos, still lives with his family.
“Yes, I do, I mean, I’m so busy with the club, I’m hardly ever home, and my Mother travels so much and most of the time when my sister can she goes with her. So, I just live there that way the house just doesn’t set empty. Most nights I sleep at the club because I’m too tired to drive home.”
“I would love to go to your house and get cleaned up, and if you’re sure she won’t mind I would like some different clothes. Plus, now that you mention, I think I could use something to eat.”
“Great, then lets go.”
The drive to Danny’s house is pretty much quiet, but very comfortable. He held my hand the whole way, our hands resting between the seats of his car. There is something between us that I really want to believe will grow into our future. I think he feels it too, I feel his eyes on me as we drive, and I feel the connection. I know that I am an emotional wreck right now, and I vowed last night to never trust another man, but Danny Santos isn’t just another man. I want to tell him everything about me, I want him to help me heal my battered heart, and I think he wants that too.
We arrive at his house, house is an understatement, it’s a mansion. Danny leads me inside and shows me upstairs, to his room.
“Well, here we are. This is my room, my bathroom is through there, there are clean towels, try to make yourself at home, and I think if you look there may be one of those toothbrushes you get from the dentist in the medicine cabinet that you can use. If you need anything just holler, I’m going to go see what I can find you in Pilar’s room.”
“Thanks, I’m sure I’ll be fine, oh Danny, there is one thing.”
“What’s that Michelle?”
She steps to me, and I draw a sharp breath, being this close to her makes me want to wrap her in my arms and carry her to my bed and make love to her until her pain is gone.
“Do you have a robe I could wear?”
I let out the breath I was holding, “Hmm, I’m not sure, I might, I’ll find you something and hang it on the door.”
She smiles the brightest smile I have ever seen, “that would be great, and Danny?”
“Yeah?”
She leans up and gives me a wonderful kiss, not to hard, not to soft, and it is not just a kiss of gratitude. I think to myself, maybe she knows instinctively that I have fallen in love with her, and that kiss lets me believe she is falling for me too.
She looks into my eyes and says, “Danny you are wonderful man, thank you for taking care of me, me and my heart.” She turns and heads to the bathroom and I respond.
“Oh, no Michelle no thanks are necessary, I love you.”
____________________________________________________
The drive to St. Michael's is quiet. Michelle holds tightly to my hand the entire way there, occasionally I see her out of the corner of my eye looking at me, it's the only time I see her smile. It makes my heart leap with joy to see that smile, even though I know what we are about to do is breaking her heart. I am happy that I can give her some comfort, and someday soon, when the pain of her beloved Mother's death is not so fresh, I will give her my heart. I have already given her my heart, but I hope that soon I will be able to tell her, it belongs to her forever.
Michelle told me that her mother was raised catholic, and that she attended St. Michael's, but not on a regular basis. I told her that my cousin Ray was a priest there, and I was sure that he would be more than willing to perform Maureen's service, and when I called Ray, he said it would be an honor to perform the memorial service for such a wonderful beloved woman. When I told Michelle her eyes filled with tears and she whispered a quiet "thank you" and gave me a soft kiss and one of those hugs she has so frequently given me that makes me feel like she is afraid if she lets go I will disappear.
We arrive at the church and the grip Michelle has on my hand tightens as she searches the parking lot. I know immediately she is looking for her father's car, I feel her body relax and I know instinctively that he has not arrived yet.
Michelle lets out a breath, "Good, I'm glad we got here first."
"So am I Michelle, I know you aren't looking forward to this, but you won't have to deal with your father, and if he starts to upset you in anyway, I'll put a stop to it," I say giving her hand a reassuring squeeze and a soft smile.
Her voice is barely a whisper, "Thank you Danny, I can't tell you how much you mean to..how much your being here to help me means."
I can't contain the smile that dances on my lips, I know Michelle was on the verge of telling me how much I mean to her, not just my help means to her. I won't push her, she is too fragile right now, and she is still afraid to admit that she cares for me, and I don't think it all has to do with her father and his betrayal. But, I tell myself, no matter how long it takes, I will break down the protective wall Michelle has built around her heart.
"We better get inside, so we can get this done, Ray's expecting us," I get out of my side of the car and go around to Michelle's side and help her out.
I escort Michelle into Ray's office, and begin to take a seat over in the corner out of the way, when I feel her hand brush mine.
"Danny, please stay here, beside me, I want to feel you close to me."
"Sure Michelle, anything for you."
Ray and I exchange a look, and I can tell that my cousin who is more like a brother to me knows that I have found my heart.
Michelle tells Ray about her Mother, and tells him what kind of service she wants to have for her. She wants the service to be a celebration of Maureen Bauer's life, it's what Maureen would have wanted. She tells Ray she wants bright music and lots of flowers. I told Ray exactly what happened and that Michelle doesn't want Ed Bauer to have any say in this service, and Ray is respecting Michelle's wishes, and has never mentioned his name once. We are just finishing up, setting up the times for the visitation, which will be the next evening and the afternoon and evening the next day, with a rosary service, when the door to Ray's office swings open. I know right away from Michelle's reaction who the man that came through the door is. I instinctively wrap my arms around Michelle and she turns into my embrace.
"I hope I'm not too late. Michelle, Honey, are you OK?"
"Don't call me that, I have nothing to say to you."
"Michelle, please, don't..." he takes a step closer to her and reaches his hand out to brush her face. She recoils from him and buries her head in my chest, and I can sense that she is fighting back tears, and anger. I decide to put a stop to this right now.
"Dr. Bauer, we were just leaving, Michelle has made all of the arrangements for her Mother's funeral, she won't be needing you."
"Just who the hell do you think you are?"
I want to deck this man where he stands but I don't, Michelle doesn't need that now, so I simply say, "I'm Danny Santos, Michelle and I were just leaving, Father Santos, will fill you in on any information you need to know. As Michelle said, she has nothing to say to you, so I appreciate you leaving her alone, or I won't be responsible for what I do to you."
That said I keep my hold on Michelle and escort her out of the church and back to the car.