Living Without
Part Twenty-Four
A knock came at the door and Juan stuck in his head. "Anyone request a bottle of wine?" he asked while coming in, his presence instantly quelling Danny and Michelle's conversation and the room became drenched in tense silence.
Juan sat the bottle down next to the basin on the night stand and he observed the two who weren't even looking in each other's direction.
"Did I walk in on something?"
"No, you didn't," Michelle replied. "Since you're here, maybe you can help this gentleman out of his shirt while I go wash my hands," she said as she exited the room.
"Sure..." Juan was saying as the door closed behind her. His attention drifted to Danny, who appeared to be deep in thought. "I heard what you two were talking about," he admitted. "Are you gonna tell her what's going on?"
"I don't think she can handle it," Danny responded after a moment's pause.
"You'll never know until you tell her," Juan said.
"She's been through enough already. I don't want to dump this on her too. That'll just be a tad much in one day, don't you think?"
"Well, she does want to know."
"And what am I supposed to say?"
"Tell her the truth."
"I can't do that," Danny remarked. "I don't want her involved in this any more than she already is."
"You're fooling yourself if you think keeping this from her is helping," Juan told him. "You can't protect her from Escobar. You'd be crazy to think that you could."
"I'll do whatever it takes to protect my family from Ramírez," Danny remarked. "What's that smile about?" he asked his friend upon looking over at him.
"You sound like the Danny Santos of old," Juan replied. "Always putting the lives of your family ahead of yours."
"That has never changed."
"No, I guess not."
"So why the hell did you bring it up?" Danny asked immediately. "You know I'd protect my family with my life. Always. They are the most important to me."
"Yeah, I know. That hasn't changed at all. What did were those you considered members of your family," he said and Danny gave him a doubtful glare. "They didn't include Michelle."
"Is there a point that'll cut into your babble any time soon?"
"Just voicing an observation," Juan replied.
"Everything that I've ever done concerning Alejandra has all just been one big mistake that I can live with, but if it'll be at the price of losing my children and their mother?" Danny thoughtfully paused and then uttered the following words with relative ease. "Escobar can go to hell. My decision in taking his daughter's hand in marriage has been the sole contributor to this war between he and I, and I will not allow he or anyone else to hurt my family because of it. Interpret that anyhow you want."
"Like I said, you sound like the Danny Santos of old," Juan restated.
"Are you gonna help me out of this shirt or are you just gonna stand there and analyze me to death?" Danny asked, having already unfastened the buttons.
"I could do both," he remarked as he carefully peeled the clothing from Danny's bruised body.
"Is it not enough that you have guns strapped to every part of your body that you must also carry a pair of scissors?" Danny asked when Juan retrieved the shears from his back pocket.
"Never know when it might be handy," he said, quickly opening and closing it.
"Just be careful with that!" Danny told him when it was brought close to his arm.
"I'm just gonna cut the rest of your shirt off of you," Juan innocently said. "Don't have a heart attack."
"What's taking Michelle so long? She should be back by now."
"She's only been gone two minutes, Danny."
"Isn't that enough time to wash hands?"
"Are you hurting?" Juan asked as he gradually slid the cut up sleeve from his arm.
"Is that a trick question?" Danny asked back.
"Look, she'll be back. Give her a few minutes. She's probably trying to collect herself," Juan told him. "If it'll make you feel any better, I'll go check up on her. Try to hang in there until we both get back."
**
Michelle leaned weakly against the back of the bathroom door as she stared down at her trembling hands, which were covered in Danny's blood that had dried up and was now sticking to her like a second layer of skin. The wedding band that adorned her finger was also stained the blood red.
Michelle rushed to the sink, turned on the faucet, and grabbed the toilet soap. She rubbed up a lather and then frantically scrubbed every inch of her hands and arms with her nails. Tears rushed down her face as she did this; the sound of gun fire and shattering glass violently ringing out in her mind. The cries of her children once again flooded into her ears and she was soon sobbing loudly.
She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her concern for the kids and Danny and everyone else finally got the best of her. What would she have done had either of her babies been injured?
And then there was Danny who chose to put up a front and act like all was well when it wasn't at all. He was only trying to be strong for their children, but she knew he was in so much pain, and she hated to see him go through that.
"Thank God he wasn't seriously hurt," she whispered to herself and she instantly turned off the faucet and grabbed a towel when she heard a soft tapping at the door.
"Michelle? Are you alright in there?" Juan asked from the other side of the door.
Michelle splashed some water on her face to hide her tears and then used the towel to dry herself up.
"Yes, I'm fine," she answered. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Danny was starting to worry about you," Juan said. "He won't admit it, but I know he's hurting bad. He needs that bullet out right now."
"Okay, I'm coming. Give me a few seconds," she said and she heard him walk away.
She exhaled and then looked down at her hands that were now free of the blood. She felt her tears coming again, but she fought them, willing them to the back of her eyes. If Danny was going to be strong about this, so was she.
**
Michelle returned to the room some minutes after Juan, and she gradually made her way over to where they were on the bed. As she neared, she could see that Juan had already started on the injury, for the water in the basin had been bloodied and there were a couple of the soiled rags that had been tossed into the nearby trash pail.
She approached the night stand where Juan had lined up a number of knives given to him by Graciela. Her eyes ran over all of them, and as she went to pick up one, a sudden chill swept through her and she instantly dropped the object.
"Done collecting yourself?"
Michelle swallowed hard before bringing herself to look at Danny and she looked away almost immediately. She pushed her hair behind her ears and returned her attention to the knives. God, she had to pull herself together.
"Done collecting," she replied just as she decided on her soon to be surgical tool.
"Good. So we can get started," Juan said, standing from the bed. "Michelle?" he called and she snapped out of her daze to look at him.
"Yeah. Yeah, we can get started," she said softly and Juan nodded as he grabbed the wine from where it was sitting and handed it to her.
Michelle stared at the bottle as if it were something that came straight from planet weird.
"What's the matter?" Danny asked, noticing the lost look on her face.
"Um..." she started while glancing back at the door. "I-I think I hear the kids."
"They are at the other part of the house. You couldn't have heard them," Juan remarked.
"I did!" Michelle insisted. "Someone is crying. I have to go to them..."
"Michelle," Danny reached for her before she could take another step and grabbed her by the wrist. He flinched in pain and both Michelle and Juan helped him lay back against the pillows.
"You shouldn't move," Michelle told him as she sat down next to him.
"Look, we have to get this out now!" Juan said to her.
"Don't you think I know that?!" Michelle yelled back.
"Stop, both of you!" Danny exclaimed despite the pain that was sweeping through his arm. "Juan," he spoke in a tone of warning when the man was about to speak. "Could you excuse us?"
"I'll be right outside the door," Juan said following a short silence and he left the room.
"What's going on?" Danny asked Michelle once they were alone. "We both know you didn't hear anyone."
"Just sit back, okay?"
"What's really bothering you?" he prodded on and Michelle sighed and decided to just tell him.
"I don't know if I can do this," she admitted.
"You can. I know you can," Danny said. "Just look at me like some patient."
"But you're not some patient, Danny," Michelle told him. "I could hurt you."
"I trust you," he said and she exhaled. "I trust you with my life," he added and she wore a confused expression. "I'd ask Juan, but he tends to get a little crafty when it comes to knives," he remarked and he managed to get a small smile from Michelle. "What do I have to do? Beg on my hands and knees?"
"No," she barely whispered. "No, you don't have to beg. I just want you to be sure that you want me to do this and not someone else. It's not too late to go to the hospital and have someone there do..."
"No," he cut in. "No hospital. I want you and no one else."
*
"I'm surprised this didn't cut through your bone," Juan spoke as he examined the extracted bullet. "You were lucky."
"He was more than lucky," Michelle said while adding another strip of adhesive tape to the layers of bandage and gauze covering Danny's wound. "It could've shot through your arm and right into your chest."
"Thank God it didn't," Juan tossed the bullet back into the pan it was in.
"I don't understand why you won't go to the hospital, Danny," Michelle said to him as he watched her wrap his arm with another sterile bandage and using another piece of tape to hold it in place. "This has to be stitched up," she told him.
"I'd listen to her if I were you," Juan chimed in. "She being a second year med. student and all."
Michelle's head whipped in his direction. "How'd you know that?" she asked.
"Yeah, how did you know that?" Danny asked, pulling his eyes from Michelle to look at the man. "For years, you've been telling me that you didn't know where she lived let alone anything else."
"Must have slipped my mind," Juan replied in a tone of nonchalance.
"That's bullshit," Danny said. "Nothing slips your mind."
Both men then became silent. Michelle glanced at one and then the other to see that they were staring at each other with such great intensity. Juan stood with a blank expression, while Danny comfortably wore grim and rigid as if it were a part of his face. Anger had clouded and darkened his eyes, and Michelle could feel the tension that was so thick and tight that she could no longer sit in the room without feeling claustrophobic.
"What are you two talking about?" she broke through their silence with her question. "How did you know about me being in school?"
"Why don't you tell her, Danny?"
"Tell her what?! I don't know how you knew!"
"Oh, c'mon, man! Tell her how you had me track her down just so you could kill her."
"What?" Michelle was flabbergasted, her utterance barely making it off her tongue.
"Shut up," Danny said though clenched teeth, emphasizing his words.
"Or maybe you'd like to first start by telling her all about your future wife that you love so very much, and then move on to what her father has over your head," Juan went on, knowing fully well that he was provoking him.
"Get out!!" Danny fiercely lashed as he attempted to stand, but Michelle held him down, objecting to any kind of extreme movement.
Since he couldn't get past Michelle, Danny proceeded to yell from where he was and soon they were both shouting obscenities at each other in Spanish. As their argument escalated, Michelle managed to calm Juan down and mute his voice, but that proved more difficult with Danny. When she finally got him to reserve his words, she quietly asked Juan to obey his request and leave. Once he was gone, Michelle returned to Danny, who's face was tighter than ever.
"What the hell was that all about?" she asked him.
"Just dear ol' Juan Carlos backing me into a corner I can't get out of unless I spill my guts," Danny replied, his voice ringing with animosity. "Of course, that must be to you."
"Okay," Michelle remarked after a moment. "So what did he mean when he said you had him track me down?"
"Can we not talk about this right now?"
"What would be a more convenient time for you, Danny?" she asked while continuing to nurse him. "Never?"
"Alright. Alright, I'll talk," he said. "When you left I had Juan try to find you. At first, it wasn't about revenge or murder. It eventually got to that point, but in the beginning I just wanted to know where I had went wrong with our marriage...why you had left me."
"I didn't leave you, Danny..." she was saying when he held up a hand to silence her.
"Each time I'd ask, Juan would give me the same answer. He couldn't find you. Year after year, one birthday after another," he continued. "One day, I just gave up on trying to figure everything out and I just wanted you dead," he told her frankly. "Dead and gone. I'm not really sure if I wanted you or I gone, but it had to be someone. And then there were people like my mother who convinced me that you and Diego were..."
"That never happened," Michelle interrupted. "I'd never do that to you."
"Shows how much faith I had in our marriage, huh?"
"I don't blame you, Danny. We were put in a really bad place."
"Bad indeed," he remarked. "I was blinded, lied to, betrayed, and then coerced into a marriage I'm not sure I can live through."
"Then get out of it," Michelle suggested. "You don't have to marry her!"
"Yes, I do," Danny said.
"No, you don't," Michelle told him. "Unless she's pregnant, I don't see a reason why you should! You don't even love her! You said so yourself."
"I also said that I could learn to," Danny spoke. "This is an arranged marriage, Michelle. I did love her once and I'm sure that I could love her again."
"And this so-called arranged marriage has nothing to do with whatever her father supposedly has over your head?"
"Juan was just being overly melodramatic."
"I don't think so," Michelle remarked. "I believe that he does have something on you. Yesterday, Juan told me that the man hates me with a passion. I'm assuming it's because you married me and not his daughter," she said. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"Yeah, you are," Danny spoke after taking in a deep breath. "Escobar believes that you pose a threat to my relationship with his daughter," he continued. "He has this ridiculous notion in his fat head that I still have feelings for you. Romantic feelings."
"Do you?"
Danny watched her momentarily and chose his words carefully. "Despite my actions lately, I still care for you a great deal. That's not going to change. I just don't love you anymore."
Michelle felt like she had just been blasted through the chest with a cannon ball. Regardless of her shattered heart, she held face.
"I feel the same way," she pushed out the words. "The man doesn't know what he's talking about."
"Well, when Escobar is convinced of something, no one can tell him otherwise," Danny remarked. "When he found out you were in town, he ordered that I stay away from you. If I didn't, he threatened to have you terminated," he said as Michelle quietly reclaimed her seat in front of him. "Hence the reason for the shots."
"Those men were here for me??" Michelle asked and she covered her face with both hands. "Oh my God. How did he know I was here?"
"He has a legion that follows my every move. Apparently, I hadn't left them behind in Springfield as I had thought. When they saw you, they must've contacted him, and he then ordered the hit," Danny spoke frankly.
"Is that what he has over you?" Michelle asked as she wiped at the tears that had escaped from her eyes. "My life?"
"Not only yours," he replied. "Look, you have to promise me that you won't get hysterical when I tell you this," he said and Michelle immediately panicked.
"Tell me he didn't threaten our children. Please, tell me he didn't, Danny," she begged.
"He did. Now, wait a second!" Danny quickly said when she gasped in disbelief, her mouth open to say something. "He won't touch them!"
"He had the guest house riddled with bullets, Danny!! The house in which our children and I were in!" Michelle yelled. "Oh, my God... So that's why you're marrying his daughter! It has nothing at all to do with an arranged marriage!" she brought both hands to her head. "God, I knew something was up."
"Michelle, he won't do a thing to them-"
"Don't you dare feed me that!" she cut him short. "This is all the more reason why my babies are not going back to that warehouse you people call a home!"
"Listen to me!" Danny grabbed a hold of her. "You know damn well I wouldn't let a fly hurt either one of them. I'd die first."
"You just may."
"Contrary to what you think of Alejandra, she's always been good to the kids. She adores them. She's never laid a hand on them and she wouldn't let anyone else to either."
"Oh! So I guess that's supposed to somehow make me feel better?!" Michelle spat. "What do you suggest I do, Danny?? Call her up and thank her?? What should I start with first? 'Hey there, you identity snatcher. Thank you for raising my children by the mobster handbook, teaching them how to dodge bullets and make deadly threats just to get what they want out of life. It is the only honest to goodness way to survive in your world after all.'"
"Are you finished?" Danny asked nonchalantly.
"No, I'm not," Michelle hissed. "How could you put them in such a situation??" she started on him. "They weren't even supposed to be in this life and now they are and they may die because some hoochie can't get over her first love. I can't believe you let this happen," she spoke with tears streaming from her eyes. "You mean to tell me that if you were to pull out of this, we will all die?"
"You and the kids. Not me," Danny replied. "Escobar wouldn't kill me. I'm what his daughter desires. He'd rather strip me of the very people I can't live without than to have his daughter live without me."
"But Dani and Michael are just innocent babies!" Michelle cried. "Why are so many people out to punish them?"
"They are out to punish me," Danny replied and when he looked up at her, his tears too fell and he quickly cleaned them away. "With all that's happened during the week, I've come to that conclusion."
"You can't marry her, Danny. I don't care what you say about the threats. I will fight tooth and nail just to get our kids away from your bitch and her family. They can't live like that."
"I must say that I agree," he said.
"We're on the same page?" Michelle asked, a bit surprised.
"We're on the same page," Danny replied, his eyes meeting and locking with hers; instantly spellbound by the determination and dedication that he saw in them. He saw something else there, but Michelle broke away before he could ascertain what it was.
"I better take a look at that cut on your head," she said, suddenly feeling a different kind of tension. This time it was between him and her and it was intense.
Danny's eyes stuck to her every move as she went to the first aid kit to get a clean cloth, and she poured some of the wine onto it before returning to Danny. She stood between his spread legs as she dabbed his cut with the alcohol sodden rag and she could feel his watching eyes penetrate through her.
"We'll protect them in any way we see fit," Danny took the initiative to speak. "No one is going to hurt them. No one."
"I'd like to believe that."
"You should. Everything I've done has been for them. I admit this choice was a bad one, but until you came along, we were smooth sailing," Danny said.
"Are you blaming this on me?" Michelle asked.
"Trust me, Michelle. I'm not."
"We had a dream for them," she spoke. "We didn't want them to grow up the way that you had. We wanted them to have lives better than the ones we did."
"I still want that," Danny said.
"So do I," Michelle said. "I don't want them to go through having to lose their father as you had lost yours. They need us both. They can't lose either one of us. Especially not you."
"You are just as important and they will not lose anyone," he was saying when he flinched away from the rag, feeling a sting when she began on another bruise.
"Sorry," she whispered before proceeding to the cut just under his eye. "I don't think any of this will need stitches," she said as she gently ran a finger across it, her fingertips softly gracing his battered face.
Danny reached up to grab a hold of her hand and her eyes moved to his and they were once again enthralled by one another. This time around, Michelle had some difficulty pulling away. As she stared into the windows to his soul, she witnessed a passion burning within that she would not have otherwise noticed had she not been looking into his dark brown orbs.
"You'll make a great doctor one day," Danny whispered. "I know you will."
"I hope so," Michelle hardly muttered as her face inched ever closer to his.
He had this hold over her. She was not in control of what she was doing. It was as if her mind and body were separate entities working against one another. She brought her other hand up to caress his face, her eyes now focused on the lips that were getting closer to hers by the second. She wiped away the blood at the side of his mouth with her thumb and then ran her index finger across his lips in the slowest motion.
"We're doing it again," her words came out in a hushed whisper, Danny's breath tickling her lips.
"Doing what?" he asked as his mouth brushed against hers.
Not wanting to carry on with this tease any longer, Danny impatiently took her bottom lip into his mouth and feverishly devoured the rest of her mouth. He pulled her closer to him, their kiss growing more fiery by the passing microsecond.
They showed no signs of slowing down as Danny tugged on the belt that held Michelle's robe shut, and he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her even closer and down to his lap, their lips never once disconnecting.
"Ugh!" Danny exclaimed in pain and Michelle hopped up from him, the phone shrilling simultaneously.
"Hello," she answered breathlessly while watching Danny, who slowly raised his eyes to look at her after sucking in his pain. "Sorry," she mouthed to him. "No, Gracie. It went well. He's...he's right here," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "Okay. Sure," she concluded and hung up the phone.
Looking at Danny, she smiled uncomfortably and then averted her eyes. "That was just Graciela checking up on you," she told him.
"Did she say how the kids were?" he asked.
"She said they were fine," Michelle replied. "Um, I need to get some more rags to clean you up with," she attempted to leave, but Danny caught her hand.
"Just call my aunt back and tell her to tell Ana to bring them."
"I'd rather do it," she said as she took her hand from him. "I'll be back," she told him, and she placed a kiss on his forehead and when she pulled away, their eyes met again.
"Thank you," Danny spoke in a low voice.
"For what?"
"Everything," he said and she smiled nervously before pulling away from him and heading towards the door.