Living Without
Part Twenty
"Señor Santos," Pablo, an employee of Graciela's restaurant, greeted as Gustavo walked into the place. "To whom do I owe this honor?"
"This is Michael and Danielle," Gustavo introduced. "They are my nephew's children. You know Danny."
"Oh, yes! How is he? I haven't seen him in years!"
"He's just fine. He came down to take care of some things for me," Gustavo replied. "And these two came along to see their great uncle," he smiled down at them.
"Bienvenido," Pablo said to the children as Gustavo carried them up to sit them on stools in front of the counter. "What can I get for you?"
"Uh..." Danielle tapped her head in thought. "Un zumo de fruta para mí y uno para mi hermanito."
Pablo was taken aback by the girl's answer and gave Gustavo a glance. "¿Saben hablar nuestro idioma?"
"Sí," Gustavo replied. "This little belleza likes to pretend."
"¿Tu papá habla español a tú?" the man directed his question to her.
"No. Sólo mis abuelita y bisabuela," Danielle said with her hands folded atop of the counter. "Can we get our drinks, please?"
"¡Tú poco chivato! These two are con artists!" Gustavo remarked. "You've been pulling my leg all along," he said and the children laughed.
"It just goes to show how easily you men can be manipulated," Graciela said as she emerged from the kitchen.
"You knew?" Gustavo asked.
"Sí, claro que sí," Graciela replied. "We all know how much pride Carmen takes in speaking her native tongue. There isn't a chance on God's earth she wouldn't share that with her nietos."
"Actually..." Danielle started and Graciela eyed her. "Aunt Gracie told me what to say," she confessed and she and her brother laughed again.
"Gracie!"
"I didn't tell her how to answer Pablo's question! She did that on her own. She knows how to speak. Probably not very well, but she's good," she told her husband. "Why did you have to tell them?"
"I can't lie," Danielle replied simply. "My daddy says to always tell the truth."
Graciela kissed the top of her head and softly said, "Tu papá taught you well. Listen to him. The truth is always the right answer."
"Dani no tell true alla time!" Michael decided to expose his sister. "She no listen to Daddy."
"Yes, I do!" Danielle yelled. "You're the one who doesn't listen! You're always writing on the wall and getting us in trouble! I'm Daddy's princess," she said proudly.
"You evil!" Michael told her and Gustavo put a hand over the boy's mouth to hush him.
"That's not a very nice thing to say to your sister," Graciela scolded and once Gustavo removed his hand, the child apologized. "You two be good while your uncle and I go get you some ice cream. No fighting," she said before going into the kitchen with her husband.
"You better be sorry or I'll buss you in the face!" Danielle said to her brother once the adults had disappeared.
"You hit me, I hit back! I no scared of you!" Michael relayed, showing how much courage he had by talking in her face.
"I'm worried about them," Graciela started.
"Gracie, they're only children," Gustavo remarked, looking out the window in the door to see Pablo bringing over their beverages.
"I'm talking about their parents," Graciela said and Gustavo turned around to face her. "From what Juan told us, their first attempt at a talk didn't go so well."
"Why do you worry yourself so?" her husband asked as he kissed her forehead and then pulled away to look her in the eyes. "Danny and Michelle will get past all of this. We did."
"They are not us, Gusto-"
"We were them once," he stated. "You remember, don't you?"
"How can I forget? Tu familia didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon."
"They eventually came to understand that I love you and nothing will ever change that."
"That was after many a failed attempt to kill us," she said and Gustavo sighed. "They tried to turn us against one another, run me over with a truck, blow me up with C14, throw me down a 10 story building, set me in front of a firing brigade..."
"Mi corazon," Gustavo interrupted. "Honey, that was years ago!"
"And nothing has changed! Your family always wants control over everything! That's why Miguel wanted so badly to have you remain a part of SanCorp and-"
"The company is legit!" Gustavo argued.
"But their side dealings aren't," Graciela sighed. "I know you're not involved in any of it. It's just that I wish all this would go away! History is repeating itself with Danny and Michelle. The family had no luck breaking us up, but they finally did with them."
"Mi Graciela Espinoza de Santos," he held her head and smiled graciously. "I love you and I always will. Mi familia could not ruin that and I'm telling you that it's the same for my nephew and his wife. They'll get through this. If Danny is anything like me..."
"He's everything like you," Graciela remarked. "Stubborn, egotistical, arrogant, maniacal, hotheaded, quick-tempered...."
"The type of man who rules with his heart," Gustavo cut in and Graciela smiled as he gave her a kiss. "Actually, I'm not THAT bad."
"You're no good for me, Gustavo Santos."
"Gracie, don't worry about Daniel. He'll do what is right for he, Michelle, and their children. Right now, all I want you to focus on is our wedding anniversary."
"Twenty-five marvelous years."
"You say this after all my family put you through?"
"I'm married to you, not your family," Graciela spoke as she wrapped her arms around him. "You have given me 25 of the best years of my life. I wouldn't trade any of it! If we can survive bullet showers, possessive ex-es, psychopathic in-laws, angry mob bosses, car collisions, bomb threats, and terrorist kidnappers, there is definitely hope that Danny and Michelle can do it too."
**
Despite their difference in size, their bodies fit so perfectly; one complementing the other and both completely in tune. Danny pressed his body onto Michelle's as his tongue slipped further into her mouth. His hands slid up her sides and to the front of her dress, fumbling to get the tiny buttons open as she tried to unbuckle his belt in their haste to rid themselves of the clothes that concealed what they wanted most from each other.
Michelle wanted Danny just as much as he wanted her. She knew he wanted her. She could feel his need with every breath, every touch, every kiss. She could feel his need throbbing at the apex between her legs. The very tremble that surged rapidly through her in reaction to the feeling of him at that part of her made her whimper with desperation.
She seriously needed him. She wanted to feel him as close to her as he could possibly get. She needed to ease the aching emptiness that had fostered within her for far too long.
No longer patient and quite frustrated with the art of unfastening, Danny ripped at Michelle's dress and the buttons went flying in every direction. Michelle drew his belt from around his waist and lowered it to the floor as Danny took off his shirt and blindly threw it across the room before returning his lips to Michelle. He completely covered her mouth with his, his tongue delving deeper into her cavity, wanting nothing more than to devour this woman.
He had to have her. It had been so long. Too damn long. When she was gone, this was one of the moments he had always dreamed about. It was the only thing he ever dreamed about; having Michelle in his arms, making love to her, telling her how much she meant to him.
But at the moment, they had no time for talk. They were both consumed by extreme lust and nothing else mattered more than they stripping themselves down to their birthday suits. Their feelings of pain, confusion, and uncertainty were muted by the sweltering passion that blazed between them. It was as if they had never separated; as if a moment hadn't passed.
Michelle felt every inch of her body boil because of what this man was doing to her. Not a thing she came in contact with felt cool to the touch. She was on fire and her mind's voice was trying to relay a message to her body, for they were speaking in different languages. Her mind was all English while her body was communicating French, Creole, and God knew what else.
"Danny..." Michelle barely mouthed once he had left her lips to begin his wet trail of kisses down the column of her throat. He licked and sucked his way across her ivory skin, leaving red marks at every part of her that his lips had had the pleasure of gracing.
"Danny..." she tried again, but her words dissipated when he tasted the skin that lined her voice box. A deep moan escaped from her as one of his hands moved up her thigh and finally found its way to the side of her panties.
"Danny...Danny..." she called further and was once again muted when his lips came back to hers.
His hand reached up to unclasp the front of her bra, freeing her breasts from their enclosure. He rubbed that hand across one of them, his fingers lingering over her hardened nipple as their kiss grew even more impassioned.
God he felt good. He felt really, really good. His lips, his breath, his hands, his... Michelle couldn't think straight. How she needed this. How she needed him. She couldn't let this go on. She had to stop him.
Danny's hands continued their journey back down to her panties, where he twirled the sides of them around his fingers and proceeded to slowly slip them down her hips. It took all the strength she had in her to break away from his lips and stop him from pulling her panties down any further.
"We can't do this," she was finally able to mutter. "What?" Danny barely made out and Michelle pushed at his chest, prompting him to get up from her. She swung her legs from the sofa to the floor and stood up as she pulled her now buttonless dress shut to cover her near nakedness.
"We'd be making a huge mistake if we did," Michelle spoke through jagged breath. "We can't act like everything is magically okay because it isn't. You nearly killed me a few days ago, Danny!" she told him. "Did you expect that to all just disappear?" she stopped that thought. "Besides, you're engaged to be married. You're in love with someone else. How do you think your lady will feel should she find out what almost happened here?"
Danny let out a deep groan and covered his face in frustration. "Frankly, Michelle, I don't care about how she'd feel. I don't love her, so it doesn't matter to me," he replied.
"You're getting married to someone you don't love?"
"I married you, didn't I?" he chose to be crass.
"The circumstances were different," Michelle said and then paused before adding, "They are different, right?"
"Of course they are. You killed my brother and Alejandra didn't," Danny remarked and then realized what he had just uttered. "Sorry," he apologized, and there was a period of silence between them.
"Why are you marrying her if you don't love her, Danny?" Michelle spoke first.
"Ever heard of arranged marriages?" he stood up from the sofa to search for his shirt that he had sent flying to some unknown part of the room during their all too brief moment of passion. "That's what it is, Michelle. Arranged. I don't love her, but I could learn to just like I did with you."
"Yeah. Just like with me," Michelle sighed and blinked hard at the tone he was using. "But you did love her before. You were with her before...before your brother died. You were set to be married..."
"Until you clonked Mick over the head."
"Until you married me," Michelle finished. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?"
"Like a jerk! I'm sorry if I led you on, but this just doesn't feel right. And I'm sorry if I bruised your ego..." she was saying when Danny started chuckling to himself. "What's so funny?" she wanted to know.
"You! You think everything revolves around you when it doesn't."
"You're hurt and embarrassed, Danny. Just say that you are and stop with this macho act of yours already!" Michelle said as she fell into an adjacent sofa. "It's not going to get you anywhere."
"I can see that," he remarked.
"You've gotten so used to getting whatever you want from that fiancée of yours," Michelle continued. "Is that one of the reasons you're marrying her? To get a free fuck whenever you want it?"
"Shut up, Michelle," Danny ordered vindictively.
"You can't get that from me!"
"I never fuck you, Michelle!" he yelled back in anger. "I make love to you and that is the way it's always been!" he informed her.
"Oh," she simply uttered after a pause.
"Oh," Danny imitated with a wicked expression as he returned to his search.
"You could at least tell me why you've gone back to her," Michelle said. "You did tell me that her father was none too happy when you broke it off with her before. He had threatened to kill you..."
"Look, you don't need to know any more than you do now," Danny said, having found his shirt and was now slipping his arms through its sleeves. "I've already done and said enough to get us both killed," he buttoned up the shirt. "Get dressed. We need to get back to the house to help Juan with those disks."
"What's this about getting killed?!" Michelle sat up. "What are you hiding, Danny?"
"What are you talking about?" he checked himself before looking up at her with a lost visage.
"Why are you really marrying that woman? And what do you mean by having said enough to get us killed? Danny, are you in danger?"
"Would you just forget it, Michelle?! We've talked. We've cleared the air. We've had a momentary lapse in sanity. Now let's go back to the house and do what we have to do," Danny said as he attempted to grab her hand, but he instead grabbed at air. "Could we go please?"
"Not until you start talking!" Michelle held her ground. "If this is about my kids, I have a right to know!" she remarked as Danny rubbed on the back of his neck. "This has something to do with them??" she was asking when he opened the door. "Danny! Where are you going?" she chased him up to the door. "Danny, I'm talking to you!"
"Michelle," he turned to her and smiled lazily while walking backwards. "I'm going back to the house. If you want, you can come along. If you chose to stay here, fine. But I'm not staying with you and I'm not answering anymore questions. I can't trust myself around you," he said as he ceased his movement. "And I can't control what I might say. You mean too much to me," he added before turning to walk forward.
"Danny, what does that mean? Danny!!" Michelle called, but he was already heading up the paved path towards the main house. **
Later:
"Daddy!" Danielle called once she caught sight of him and she jumped up at him just as he held out his arms and he carried her up from the ground.
"Where have you two been?"
"At the restaurant," Danielle replied. "We saw Pablo!"
"Really? Did you have fun?" Danny asked and his daughter nodded. "Have lunch?"
"No me gustan las papas fritas de Pablo. Eran muy fríos," she replied, making a face and Danny laughed.
"You could've asked Aunt Gracie to make you some fresh ones. Her fries always taste good," he whispered in her ear, causing her to giggle. "Where's your brother?"
"He got hurt," she said as she pointed in the direction of Gustavo who was coming over with Michael.
"Hey, man," Danny greeted, bringing down his girl to take his son from his uncle. "What happened here?"
"Me get boo boo," Michael was sat on a bench and he lifted his foot up so his daddy could take a look. Danny sat next to the child and grabbed him by the leg, pulling him closer.
"How'd you get this?"
"No touch!" Michael instantly cried when Danny's hand came within proximity of his toe.
"He tripped over a rock in the sand," Graciela replied. "He'll be okay once we get some iodine put onto it..."
"No!!" the boy cried and Danny quickly shook his head at his aunt, his children knowing exactly what iodine was.
"Um, I mean some alcohol?" Graciela retreated into the house.
"Does it hurt?" Danny asked his son, twisting his foot every which way.
"I think it bwoken," Michael remarked.
"No, it ain't! It's just a lil' blood!" Danielle told him.
"It big blood! He hurt."
"It hurts, son," Danny corrected just as Graciela came over with a basin of water, a cloth, and a pack of bandages. She slipped Danny the iodine on the side before going back inside.
Danny squeezed the water out of the cloth and was bringing it to the toe when his son screamed. "Boy, I haven't even touched you!"
"He's just a big baby!"
"No, me not!"
"Yes, you are!"
"No, me not!"
"Okay!" Danny quieted them both. "Danielle, you keep your mouth shut. And you, young man, will have to let me take a look at this or we're going to the hospital."
"Nooo!"
"Then let me look at it," Danny said. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Daddy won't hurt you," Danielle chimed in as she kept a close watch on what he was going to do.
Once Danny cleaned the blood off, he saw that the wound wasn't serious. He figured the iodine was unnecessary and skipped its application, instead applying some antibacterial ointment. He then wrapped Michael's toe in a neon Band-Aid and sent the child on his way.
"There you go. All fixed."
"See. I told you Daddy wouldn't hurt you," Danielle commented.
"It still hurt," Michael said.
"Of course it still hurts, baby. You know that stuff I rubbed on it? It's magic cream. It'll make the pain go away in a little while. Just don't think about it," Danny told him and Michael started away, his eyes focused on the Band-Aid that wrapped his toe. "Don't touch it, Mike," Danny warned.
Gathering up the items he had used on his son and dumping them into the emptied basin, Danny heard someone approaching and looked up to see that it was Michelle.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hey," she quietly said back.
"I thought you decided to sleep."
"I couldn't. Too many things on my mind," Michelle said. "Is he okay?" she asked while looking off to the side.
"Yeah," he replied, quickly glancing back in the direction the children had left in. "It was just a little scrape. Nothing requiring stitches or anything," he told her and that was followed by awkward silence.
"I should go help Graciela with dinner," Michelle spoke up and tried to go past Danny, but he stepped in front of her.
"We need to talk about them," he said to her as he raised her head by her chin and their eyes became locked in a trance. "I don't want to lie to them anymore. They need to know the truth," he told her and Michelle nodded before looking away from him. "Don't go anywhere."
"I won't," she assured him and then he left her for the house to return the basin and other articles that he had with him.
**
"They are so beautiful," Michelle said as they strolled side by side along the beach. "I never imagined they'd grow to be how they are. They are very sweet and caring."
"They have their mother's heart," Danny remarked and Michelle looked up at him momentarily and then stared straight ahead.
"If they truly have my heart, they'd be crushed for the rest of their lives."
"That's not true, Michelle. We were just caught up in a bad situation," he said. "I see a lot of you in them. I see you every time I look at Danielle and Michael...he may look like me as everyone claims, but he is all you."
"How's that?" she was genuinely curious to know. So much time had passed since she had last been in her children's lives and there was so much she didn't know.
Danny stopped to toss some rocks into the surf. "I dunno. I mean, Michael...he's very compassionate. He doesn't like to see anyone hurt. He hates it when anyone cries."
"I noticed that," Michelle remarked. "When I saw them earlier and realized who they were, I just lost it. I-I cried like a baby. I think I scared him the most. He definitely is compassionate."
"Like you. I think he might actually be a doctor one day like you wanted to be."
Michelle glanced at him and then stared straight ahead. "There was so much I wanted to be, Danny. Especially a mother. I never wanted any of this to happen. I just want them back in my life."
"I know you do and I want that, too. It's just that I know them and I know how sensitive they are. This whole situation has to be handled very carefully," Danny said as he tossed the last handful of stones into the water. "We can't just announce that you're their mother. I mean, they already think Alejandra is their mom and despite her faults she's been very good to them..."
"What?!" Michelle literally shrieked. "Back up a whole sentence here! They think someone else is their mother?!" she asked and then laughed with hurt and disbelief. "Oh, this is just perfect!"
"Michelle, I didn't..."
"You ROBBED them of my existence!!" she yelled.
"Michelle, keep your voice down."
"I will NOT keep my voice down! You get your hands off of me!" she continued to shout. "How dare you take that away from them! Wasn't it enough that I was out their life?! You had to go and take what was left!"
"That's not how it happened!"
"No?" Michelle stopped her walking to look him in the face. "Okay, Danny. Tell me how it happened. Tell me exactly how MY children got to thinking that YOUR fiancée was their mother and not me!!" her voice changed as she began to cry. "God, Danny! Couldn't you leave me anything? I never chose to be apart from them. I had to leave in order to protect them, to keep them alive. Yes, I know," she said before he could speak. "You thought I had left to be with your cousin. Spare me the repetition."
"Michelle, it...it just happened that they started calling her mommy. I never told them to do that!"
"And you never bothered correcting them either," she remarked and blew him off as she turned to walk in the opposite direction.
"What was I going to say? What did you expect me to tell them about you?" Danny asked.
"What wasn't there to tell?!" she stopped to ask. "How could you have my kids think that someone else is their mother?! My girl has no recollection of me and my baby doesn't even know who I am!! He was only three months when he was taken from me!"
"Michelle..." Danny called, not knowing what to say anymore. "Oh God..." "When I think the worst is almost over, I get some more of your SHIT thrown in my face!" Michelle screamed. "You took me out of their lives and had the audacity to replace me with some hoochie that's from the same kind of family as yours! We didn't want them to grow up like you, Danny!"
"They aren't!"
"They are and I am not going for that! I don't give a flying fuck as to how well that Ally what's her name treats my Danielle and Michael. They are MY children!" she told him as she marched closer to the Santos estate.
"So, what are you going to do, Michelle?" Danny turned her around. "Walk in there and announce to them that you are their real mother? Are you trying to confuse them?!"
"I don't want to confuse them, okay?" she calmed herself a certain degree.
"I just want them to know who I am. Is that so wrong?"
"No, it isn't. I want them to know you too, but we have to approach this the right way," Danny said. "I know you love them and I know you want to be their mother, but..." he exhaled. "They already know about you...about us in a story I tell them." Michelle gave him skeptical look before continuing towards the house. "Our daughter thinks its your typical Cinderella story."
"You must be telling her the adulterated version then," Michelle started up the stairs and onto the path.
"Could you stop arguing with me?" Danny asked her. "Look," he started up calmly and he took her hand in his, drawing her to him. "Let's just drop this fight we're having, alright? There is no point in it and it's not going to help us accomplish anything. I don't know how I'm going to fix this, but I will. If you can, tell me how to make this right."
She stared at him for a long time and then down at the hand that was holding hers. His finger was caressing her wedding ring and her eyes filled with tears.
"I don't know," her voice was dry. "Maybe I could meet this fiancée of yours and talk to her about what's best for the kids..."
"No!" Danny was quick to object and he let go of her hand.
"Why not? If she cares about Mikey and Dani the way you say she does..."
"It's not a good idea, Michelle."
"Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?"
"You don't want to deal with Alejandra," Danny stressed.
"Fine, then you deal with her," Michelle told him.
"I don't need to and neither do you because the kids already know about us."
"They know us as characters in some story!"
"What difference does it make? We just have to explain the situation to them. They'll understand."
"I don't think so."
"Then what do you suggest? Don't say a talk with Alejandra because that's not happening," Danny told her.
"If you don't want me talking to her, then I won't," Michelle said. "But we need to figure this out."
"How about a psychiatrist?" Danny suggested.
"They're not crazy."
"Not yet. They will be after this mess and it'll be all because of me." Michelle sighed and climbed down a couple steps to stand by him. "Danny," she called. "Danny," she called again more assertively, turning his head so he'd look at her. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to rag on you the way that I have. I'm sure you had your reasons for not letting them know about me."
"I was trying to protect them-"
"And you've done that well," Michelle said. "I guess I should be thanking you."
"No, you were right. They should've been told the truth," Danny spoke.
"That's something I'm going to have to do now. I don't know how, but I have to do it," he said while looking up at her. "I hurt you so much..." he remarked, bringing a hand up to her face and she stepped away.
"You shouldn't even be thinking about that," she looked everywhere but at him. "Our children are what's important right now and I'm willing to do whatever I can to help them understand why I haven't been there for them."
"It's not going to be easy, Michelle."
"Nothing with us is easy," she replied. "I will crawl across hot coals if it meant that I'd be preventing some hoochie coochie tramp from raising my kids."
"Could you not refer to her that way? Her name is Alejandra."
"I really don't care."
"Well, you have to because at the moment our children think she's their mother!" Danny said. "I don't know how to break this to them without confusing them. I don't want to hurt them."
"Neither do I," Michelle replied.
"We have to do this one step at a time, alright? We delicately tell the kids that you are their real mother and then we can go from there."
"Sounds good to me," she agreed and turned around at the sound of rustling leaves. "Dani..."
"Danielle!" Danny hurried over to her and crouched down in front of her.
"Baby," he softly spoke as he brushed some of her dark mane away from her small, angelic face. "Didn't I ask you to stay with Aunt Gracie?" he asked and noticed that she was intently staring at Michelle. "Princess, what are you doing out here?"
"¿Quién es ella?" Danielle chose to ask in Spanish, her attention still on Michelle.
Danny closed his eyes and his head fell with her question. She wanted to know who she was. Perfect.
"Sweetie, uh, her name is Michelle. Remember? You saw her on my TV."
"Ella no es nuestro madre," she said. "¡Ella no es nuestro madre!" she cried fiercely.
"Baby, but she is," Danny said, not wanting her to have found out this way. "She's your mother."
"¡Mi madre está en Springfield!"
"No, baby. She's right here..."
"No!!" the girl yelled as she pushed Danny from her and she ran away from them both.
"Danielle!" Danny called and sighed heavily before chasing after her.
"Dani!!"
"Danielle...Danny..." Michelle tried to call, but her sudden dizziness prevented her from being any louder. She could hardly remain standing, forcing herself to follow behind them. "Danny..." she faintly murmured, not having taken more than two steps before she collapsed to the ground.