The Song Challenge

"Heart Hold On"

"Words"

"That's No Way To Break A Heart"

By Megan

Staring out of an open window,
Breathing deep as the winds of change
Blow through my hair.

Michelle stood on the balcony of the San Cristobel villa, letting the wind that rushed up of the coastline whip her hair into dozens of directions. The wind was always strong here - never gentle. It always stood as a forceful reminder of her past.

The wind whipped on way, and she recalled two defiant personalities, clashing in a never-ending waltz. Without warning the direction changed, and Michelle recalled those rare moments of agreement, when nothing could stand in their way. And then, for the merest of seconds the wind softened to caress her face and body in a way that evoked the strongest memories of all. It curled around her in a blanket of sensuality, warming her very soul.

But the moment passes.

The wind strengthens, mocking her for her foolishness.

Michelle is left cold and alone.

Still he's never far behind me.
Somehow he always finds me-
No matter where.
With one hand on my heart
And one foot in the door.
He's reaching in and coming back for more.
But don't you let go.

When Michelle had told Danny it was over, that she couldn't stand the lies - no, the life - anymore, she had expected something more to come of it all. They had stood on this very balcony…

Kissed for the very last time on this balcony…

…and the Danny had nodded his head in understanding and walked silently out of her life forever.

There had been no fireworks and no threats. She had just been clipped out of the Santos family album as if she had never existed.

It had all been too easy, and she had suspected Danny's hand in it all. Even still he protected her.

And she had meant to walk away from it all, to never look back, to never think of him again.

It might have worked too, except for one thing.

The only thing she had asked for in the divorce settlement had been their home at San Cristobel. And it had been their home. It might have been for only one week, or even one minute. But, it had happened.

She wanted to keep that with her, always.

So much for walking away.

At first her visits here had been infrequent. There had been medical school and internships to struggle through. But now, well now was a different story.

San Cristobel had become her home again.

The memories seemed to live with her now. His smile his touch, they seemed to color everything she had become. So one day Michelle just stopped fighting. She had answered the memories call, and moved home.

That had been five years ago.

And still he haunted her, even in the daylight. Each day the past condemned her, begged her to admit a mistake. Memories worked themselves into the darkest corners of her mind, forcing her to contemplate dozens of what ifs.

What if she hadn't given up? What if he hadn't walked away? What if she had fought just a little bit harder…

But he was gone, and her heart with him. Only shadows remained.

Heart hold on, till he's gone.
Stand your ground before the damage has been done.
Once again, you know all to well
Just how this story ends.
Don't give in, don't you listen to those
Ghosts inside your head.
Heart be still, heart be strong.
Heart hold on.

The shadows were growing stronger.

Michelle knew that it was her own weakness that had allowed it to happen. She had run here seeking refuge, and in doing so she had shut life out.

When life no longer rules, the memories do.

Last week the winds had been particularly strong, and she had awoken without warning. There, on the pillow next to her had been the slightest of indention, and warmth radiated where he had lay his head every night in sleep, his face turned towards hers.

Since that night the only pillows on the bed had been hers.

He sees what's inside me.
Reads me like an open diary.
He knows every line.
I look away and close the curtain.
The final act is so uncertain.
But the next move is mine.

Even now he spoke to her.

Every poem she read, every walk she took, and ever meal she attempted to cook…he was there. He was there laughing and loving her still.

The pain of separation had never faded, nor had her love for Danny.

Only the anger was gone.

Suddenly, with determination, Michelle strode towards the phone. She no longer wanted to live with ghosts.

She wanted much, much more.

It would be so easy.

So very easy to dial the phone, to call him, to hear his voice once more.

Just to let him in again.

Oh God yes, she wanted to let him in.

Silently she dialed the numbers she still knew by heart

An old familiar face but he's no friend.

"Daniel Santos".

Do it Michelle, her body screamed. End all this and begin something more.

"Danny…" she whispered. "I mean…hello."

"Michelle?…"

He sounded so wonderful…so confused.

"Maybe I shouldn't have called," she stumbled. "I'm so sorry."

So very sorry Danny, for everything.

"NO! Michelle wait…Please…don't leave."

Don't leave again.

Don't you let go.

"I won't Danny. I'll stay."

Heart hold on.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words"

Words, they don't mean nothing
So tell me why they hurt so much
I meant to tell you something
It was on the tip of my tongue

Danny stared at the phone lying on the floor where he had dropped it just seconds before. Its absence left his hand feeling empty and cold.

He had been shocked to hear Michelle's voice when the phone had rung hours earlier. For one moment he thought his dreams had come to haunt his daylight.

"Michelle"

He said her name aloud; finally giving voice to the ghost that hovered near still. It had been years since he had spoken her name aloud.

Ray had been the last person to force him to speak of her. After the divorce had been finalized he had backed Danny into a corner, literally.

"Dammit Danny, you can't do this," screamed Ray, for once loosing his cool reserve, suggesting buried passions that Danny wished he too could still touch. "You can't do this to her or me…we deserve better."

Ray paused to take in a ragged breath and place a hand on Danny's trembling shoulder.

"You deserve better."

The dam inside Danny cracked wide open as he sobbed openly. These were not weak tears. They wretched from him, and seemed to physically tear his body apart. When no tears were left, dry sobs followed until he slid hopelessly to the cold floor.

Hours later, when everything inside him had been spent, Danny whispered her name so silently that even Ray did not hear him.

"I want Michelle."

It had been more reverent than any prayer Danny had ever uttered before or since.

It had been the last time he had spoken her name…

…until now.

Words rush by so quickly
And it's too late to take them back.
I tried to say I'm sorry
And that goodbye was just an act.
But all my words got in the way
And all the things I meant to say
Were not the things you heard.
Oh, why'd you have to go
And take me at my word.

Danny continued to stare at the phone in disbelief. For years he had silently prayed for this second chance, and somehow it had all slipped through his fingers once more.

For hours it had all be wonderful. After he had gotten over his disbelief that he was actually speaking to Michelle, the conversation had flowed. He knew he could not be imaging the passion in her voice. He also knew she could hear the love that resonated in his.

But then it had all fallen apart.

"So…," Michelle queried," How is the family?"

Danny knew then that it was all over, that everything he cared about would be ripped away once more.

He had never left the family, nor had he seen to its legitimization. Without Michelle by his side he had not seen the point. He said as much to her.

Michelle disagreed, arguing that it never should have been about her in the first place. Danny was forced to smile ruefully. Michelle disagreeing with him…at least that had not changed.

So the same arguments had risen up to haunt them…right and wrong and mama dearest.

The argument had escalated until neither could hear the other through the screams.

Then Michelle voice had cut in over his, echoing his words from the balcony a decade ago.

"Goodbye Danny."

"Don't Michelle," he had begged. "Don't leave me again."

Silence had been his response.

Tears stinging his eyes, he let the phone slide from his hand, falling to the floor.

Words come back to haunt you.
Yeah, they just keep hanging around.
I still can hear the echo
I still can hear their angry sound.
But all my words got in the way
And all the things I meant to say
Were not the things you heard.
Oh, why'd you have to go
And take me at my word.

Danny dropped into the leather chair behind his desk wearily. Already the conversation was coming back to haunt him - what had been said, and more what should have been spoken.

" I miss you Michelle," he whispered tentatively, testing the sound of the words on his ears.

"I still love you so much I lie awake from the ache of it at night," he tried.

"I'm sorry I didn't try and change my family Michelle," he continued more forcefully "I just wasn't strong enough."

"I already hurt so much, and if I had changed everything…well that would have been to much. Everything honest in my life would have reminded me of you. Every deal brought to daylight would haunt me that it had all been for my family. Not the one I have now, but my future one…a future that I couldn't face without you."

"I was to weak, and the pain was too strong."

"Loving you has always been painful somehow - exquisite, beautiful pain."

"I still love you that way Michelle"

His breath was coming hard.

"I still ache for you in the night"

He sobbed openly.

"I want you back."

If Danny had picked the receiver off the floor at that moment, he would have heard Michelle's tears echoing his own.

"I love you too Daniel Santos", she whispered a world away.

"I ache too…"

Words can say I love you
Oh, words can break a heart.
I should have stopped you leaving
And told the truth right from the start.
But all my words got in the way
and all the things I meant to say
were not the things you heard.
Oh, why'd you have to go
and take me at my word?

Michelle stood silently on the balcony in San Cristobel, listening to Danny's sobs and wishing she could ease his pain.Images came back to haunt her. Images of this very balcony where they had parted a decade before.

Danny had fought so hard for her, but that had never been good enough for Michelle. She had wanted too much, to fast.

Why, she demanded of herself. Why did you ask for so much? Why did you force him to walk away?

She didn't miss the safety and security she had pushed for so relentlessly. She missed Danny, and she missed his love.

Danny had said he wasn't strong enough for her, and he had been wrong.

You are the weak one, Michelle screamed inwardly. You let him walk away. You weren't ready for a love that was dangerous in its passion.

"I let you walk away a life time ago," Michelle shouted into the wind." And I waited another lifetime for you to walk back into it."

She paused studying the phone in her hand, and then Michelle drew back and tossed it into the breaking sea that surrounded her home.

"Now it is my turn to walk to you."

The time for words had passed.

They both deserved more.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"That's No Way To Break a Heart"

Michelle sat stiffly in the taxi she had taken from the airport, watching the streets of Springfield pass swiftly by. As colored trees and homes flew by outside the hand-tinted windows, so too did memories take strength inside her, threatening to breech the last defenses of her heart.

If it had been hard to escape the memories in San Cristobel, then it was impossible to do so here.

Every corner, every side walk, every road all lead to the same inevitable destination.

Danny.

Danny was here, and she was finally returning to his arms. She only prayed that they would open for her.

Please God, she prayed, let them be empty and open, awaiting her return.

Michelle ignored the reply that welled from the darkest corner of her heart.

Perhaps she was asking for too much.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Danny lay staring at the ceiling in his darkened bedroom, despite the late hour of the day. Somewhere between the hour of yesterday and today the will to move had escaped him.

Actually, Danny could name the exact moment he had given up. It had been the moment Michelle had given up on him, for the second time.

It shouldn't matter, he argued with himself; you should be beyond caring by now. It's why she left you in the first place, she didn't think you cared enough.

She was wrong.

The moral victory of winning the argument was lost on him though.

Over the last decade Danny had realized that there had only been one thing he needed to really win - Michelle.

He would gladly loose every other argument to her for the rest of his life if he could only hold her in his arms at night. After all, he had already lost his heart to her.

Every thing else was secondary.

Danny tried to fight the tears from overtaking him again. They had been coming in waves ever since their disastrous phone call yesterday.

"Dammit Michelle" he whispered fiercely. "Why did you have to call me?"

Why did I have to hear your voice again, to be reminded of all the things I can never regain?

He closed his eyes in frustration.

Her voice still echoed fresh in his mind, forcing his to recall his past: her laughter, the sweet scent of her, the tentative way her lips brushed his tempting him in dangerous ways.

You waltz into the room,
Just like you'd never left.
And for a moment or to,
I could almost forget.
You take me in you arms and
I fall again.

Danny's eyes snapped open.

Even for his tortured imaginings that kiss had been a little too real. And there, just above him, hovered the woman of his dreams. Her features had softened and small lines were beginning to etch themselves into the corners of her eyes, which seemed to be threatening tears. Yet, defying everything he knew, she was there.

"Michelle."

That first threatening teardrop slid down her face.

"Danny"

That's no way to break a heart.
You call my name I drop my guard.
Why can't you play your chosen part?
And stay away so I can make another start.

Don't do it Danny, his head screamed. Don't let her back into your heart so that she can destroy you for a third time. Don't give in.

Oh God, don't look at her. She's so beautiful…and she's crying like her heart is breaking too. Don't let her do this to you.

But for all his inner turmoil, only one thought prevailed.

Michelle was here and in his arms, and that was all that really mattered.

Weren't you supposed to need
Something I could not give.
But now you're lying so close to me,
And taking everything.
I can't hold on forever,
For nothing more than this.

Danny lay in the dark once more, only now he was not alone.His arms, slick with sweat, now encased a slumbering Michelle.

Somehow the gentlest of kisses had turned into the fiercest of lovemaking that had been painful in its intensity.

It was over before it had really begun.

And now as Michelle's breath caressed his cheek, new questions arose to haunt him.

Why was she back? What did she want? Did what just happened between them mean anything at all? Or had it been brief with a purpose, so that she could walk right back out of his life for yet another time.

With a painful lurch of his heart Danny knew that this time he would not withstand their parting. Whatever semblance of a life he had created would be destroyed.

Suddenly Michelle stirred, and the eyes that had haunted him for a decade faced him in reality.

He saw the questioning look in her eyes, and Danny felt his world beginning to crumble. Without doubt he knew she was deciding how to leave him.Ever now she was reaching out to touch his hand, to say goodbye.

No, don't touch me.

Michelle silently touched Danny's hand, running her fingers along where his wedding band had once been.

And even as Danny coached himself to be strong, he knew the battle was lost. Michelle had won again, and his heart still seemed to be the prize she wanted.

Don't you kiss me.

Danny's lips froze a Michelle brushed her lips with his. Somewhere something in him shifted painfully.

Don't you realize
that's no way to say goodbye?

A gleam of gold caught Danny's eyes, forcing him to abandon his thoughts. Michelle was removing a simple gold chain from her neck, and with a start he realized that its only ornament was a simple band.

His wedding band. Somehow Michelle had his wedding band.

Silently Michelle placed it on his hand, and in that moment Danny knew that they were both reliving the wedding vows made that day in the woods.

Tears running down her face, Michelle spoke for the first time since she had whispered his name.

"Hello Mr. Santos," she choked. "Allow me to introduce myself."

He moved to speak, but Michelle hushed him with the gentle pressure of her fingertips.

"My name is Michelle Bauer Santos, and I live in a beautiful house that overlooks the sea. To anyone who asks it is my home. Yesterday I realized that it was so important to me because I needed a place to call home after I left a wonderful man a decade ago. I needed for walls and a bed to call my own so that I wouldn't have to face the reality that I really wasn't home at all. You see, home is where he is, and I was a fool to think I could live anywhere else."

She paused to attempt to wipe the tears from her face.

"Please don't send me away Danny," she stumbled.

Without a second thought Danny pulled her fiercely into his arms with the knowledge that dream had finally become reality.

"Welcome home Michelle," he whispered into her hair, now damp with his own tears.

"Welcome home."

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