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It was after midnight before Michelle made it back home, or should she say to Abby and Rick's house. She had best start thinking about Danny's home as her home. She had been flooded with emotions and had needed to think. She had opted to take a walk along the beach.
She had agreed to Danny's conditions and there was no going back. It wasnt the thought of being with Danny as his wife that caused her to have pause, but merely the way it was coming about. Danny didn't love her. He had only wanted to exact his revenge on her for not being there for him. Their marraige wouldn't be any more real now than it was three years ago.
No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she was still in love with Danny. She had been too foolish to fight for him before. She had just walked away from him and anything they might have found together. In all fairness though, he hadn't exactly begged her to stay. She hadn't known how Danny had felt about her and she hadn't known how to find out. She was too scared to give in to her feelings and she had paid for it.
Danny was so different from Jesse. What she felt for Jesse had been real but it had been safe. It was more of a fondness now that she recalled it. She wasn't passionately in love with him like she was Danny. She didn't kiss him like she wanted love, passion, danger and tenderness all at the same time. Danny evoked every emotion within her and she had been scared to find out where they could take them. She knew now that Jesse would have bored her within a week. He hadn't been right for her and somehow she must have known that. How else could she explain the consuming emotions she felt whenever she thought of Danny.
The answer to forgetting all those emotions had lain in Portland. She had totally immersed herself in her studies and had only allowed Josh to penetrate the emotinal shield she had placed around herself. She had never told Josh that she had been married, was in fact still married actually although she hadnt known that at the time. He had never made any kind of advance and she had felt safe with him and had been able to forget for a little while what a fool she had been for not fighting for Danny.
While she had been in Portland studying to become a doctor and hanging out with Josh, Danny had been at Cedars fighting for his life.
She had to check in at Cedars tomorrow to get her schedule. She would find his chart in the archives and she would read up on his case. She didnt know much about what had happened to him and she didn't want to ask him about it. So far, all she knew was that he had lost the sight in one eye and that he walked with a limp. She had seen a cane in his office earlier tonight but the two times she had seen him since she had been back in town, she hadn't seen him use it. It would be just like Danny to refuse to use something designed to help him because of his stubborness.
The burns he had suffered had left their scars on his neck and she felt certain that they continued down to his chest area. Had he had any internal injuries? Did his scars stop there? She needed to know everything she could about his injuries.
She had better start packing tonight, she thought. She hadn't unpacked all of her clothing yet so it wouldnt be too hard. She could get her schedule tomorrow, pack her clothes, open her checking account and get her address changed. She wouldn't have to worry about changing her driver's license and social security card changed back to Santos. She had never changed it back to Bauer after the annullment. It had seemed like too much trouble to fool with, she had told herself. She had started signing her name Bauer again and that is what she had on her nametag at the hospital. She would have to get a new name tag and start writing Michelle Santos again. Oh well, she thought, it would make for less confusion at the hospital with only one Dr. Bauer running around.
She walked to the closet and began to retrieve some of the clothing when she heard footsteps in the living room. She peeked out of her room and saw Abby walking Robin. She must have a bout with colic again, she thought. She had asked Abby how she knew when Robin cried and Abby had showed her the sophisticated system that Rick had had installed. Whenever Robin got fussy or cried, the lights in their bedroom would go on and off waking her up. It was very ingenius Michelle thought.
She watched silently as Abby continuted to coo to Robin as she walked her. Abby was such an inspiration to Michelle. She had overcome so much to fulfill her dream and now she had been blessed with a wonderful daughter. She hadn't let her deafness get in the way of her dream. She envied her her resolve. She had been too afraid to overcome any of the obstacles that had been placed in front of her and Danny. All of their obstacles seemed trivial compared to those that Abby had overcome. Abby was living proof that love could overcome anything.
Michelle knew that there was a reason she and Danny were being put back together. Was this their second chance?? Had they been brought back together under these circumstances to learn how love could overcome anything? Was her love for him enough to overcome his bitterness and his scars??
Their main obstacle had been Carmen and Danny had mentioned that she wasn't in the house anymore. Come to think of it, Abby had said something like that last night. She had run off with her lawyer or something. That obstacle had been removed now. It was beginning to look like fate that they had been brought back together.
She wasn't dreading moving in with Danny. He was her husband, and had been for the last three years although she hadn't been aware of it. They were still married and she was still Michelle Santos. He had made it very clear how he expected thier marraige to be and she was astonished to realize that she could live with that. She was actually looking forward to it. They had been given a gift and she was going to accept it. She had always regretted that she and Danny had never made love. She had dreamed of it often, but she wanted to experience the real thing. Danny was different now and he scared her a little but none of that mattered. She would have to convince him of that.
She began to walk out to the living room to join Abby who was now rocking a sleepy Robin. She needed to let them know of her decision to move back in with Danny. She knew Abby would understand and support her. She didn't think she would find such support from her brother but he would just have to live with it. A smile broke out on her face as she thought that in two short days, she would be with Danny again, the way it was always meant to be.
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Danny was still awake. He had drank too much again and he couldn't get settled down. He made a vow to quit drinking so much. It never fixed the problem anyway. When he came down off his buzz, there was still no Michelle. He had come downstairs to try to get some work done. He had been trying to work up a deal with Josh Lewis to develop some of the land near the hospital into an urgent care facility. So far everything was on track. They had the survey and the appraisal done. They were just waiting for the okay from the city. It was a huge deal and they would each make a lot of money but he was unable to give it the attention it deserved. The only thing he had been able to think about was Michelle. She was finally coming back to him.
He had come home to find that Sarah had made up their bedroom beautifully. There were flowers and candles everywhere. There were at least twelve pillows on the bed and the sheets had been sprayed with linen spray. It looked like a bridal suite. The kind he had dreamt of bringing Michelle to. It looked so good he was tempted to sleep here tonight, but he wouldn't. This was his and Michelle's bedroom and noone had slept in here since Michelle had left. He had moved his stuff out of this room the day after Michelle had left and into a bedroom down the hall, vowing never to step foot in here again, and until now he hadn't.
The room was amazing. Michelle would love it. He made a mental note to give Sarah a bonus for the good work. He couln't wait to bring MIchelle to their bedroom. He prayed she would not hate him for putting her in such an awkward position, but the opportunity had presented itself and he had taken it with both hands. He closed his eyes and pictured Michelle here with him in this room. Together as man and wife. In two short days his dream would finally come trued. He only prayed it wouldn't be too much of a nightmare for Michelle.
He shut the computer off unable to focus on the numbers in front of him. He needed some air. He would go where he always went when he felt like this, the lighthouse.
He had stopped thinking of it as Michelle and Jesse's place. He and Michelle had made memories here also and he had owned it outright for over a year since he bought it fron Rick. He had had a hard time convincing Rick to sell it to him, but in the end he had conceded. He bet Michelle didnt know he was the owner of the lighthouse. The lighthouse was his sanctuary. There and there alone could he retreat and resurrect his time with MIchelle. There he could pretend he was whole again and that she loved him.
He had probably spent more time there than at home since he was released from the hospital. Tonight he would sleep there again.
He walked outside to the car and noticed that Pilar had not returned home yet. She hadn't been home when he came in and she didn't know yet that Michelle was moving back in. She would be so happy, Danny thought. They had been good friends and Pilar had even tried to set them up together in her room to get them back together. Fools that they were, they hadn't jumped at the chance.
Danny didn't doubt that MIchelle hadn't known about his being hurt anymore, but he did doubt that Pilar had intentionally told him she written to MIchelle when she hadnt. The letter had simply gotten lost in the mail. It happened all the time. DIdn't it??
Danny hadn't been blind to the changes in his sister ever since Bill Lewis left town. He knew she was hurt, he felt the same hurt himself. He had never really understood what had happened between Bill and Pilar and he was ashamed to say that he hadn't been able to get past his own misery to see how his sister was suffering. Then the explosion happened and he had been totally self absorbed. He hadn't really noticed how despondant Pilar was coming until now. He would talk to her tomorrow and try to smooth things out and apologize for being such a lousy brother.
She had been there for him everyday. It was Michelle he called for but Pilar had been there. She had held him when he cried when he realized Michelle didn't care. She had been there to dispense his medication everyday. She had been taught by his nurse Susan in how to change his bandages every day.
He smiled as he remembered Susan. She had been the only nurse that he would let near him and the only one brave enough to take him on. He was not the winner of the most popular patient award needless to say. His temperment was legendary around the hospital and he had heard some talk that noone wanted to take care of him anymore because he was so hornary. Susan hadn't been intimidated by him though and they had become friends. She had been with him a couple of times when the pain was so intense that he had begged her to give him a lethal dose of the morphine. Instead she had held his hand and spoke to him calmly. She would ask him questions to get him to focus on something other than the pain. He had ended up telling her about Michelle but she told him she had already known there was a Michelle. She had heard him call her name numerous times.
They still kept in touch and had gone to lunch a couple of times. Next week was her birthday. He had promised to take her to lunch on her birthday as a payback for putting up with his miserable self. She had laughed and said it was all it a day's work.
His mind went back to Pilar and wondering where she was. This was very unlike her. She had been so unselfish and had even quit school to help him. He had begged her to go back to school now that he was better, but she hadn't. She mostly stayed around the house. They still had more servants than they knew what to do with so she had to be bored out of her mind.
He owed his sister alot. They would definately need to have a talk before Michelle moved back in. It would be so good to see the sparkle back in Pilar's eyes. It had been too long.
He would make an effort to find out what had happened between her and Bill. Danny had thoguht they had gotten too seriuos too fast, but he wasnt really one to give advice on that subject.
He drove to the lighthouse where he pulled off his clothes and got into the bed. He held the pillow close and within minutes he was asleep, secure in the knowledge that the nightmares were finally over.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Abby, I need to talk to you" Michelle said as she sat down on the couch.
"Does this have anything to do with Danny?" Abby asked with an amused look on her face.
"How did you know?" Michelle asked.
"Michelle, I never told you this before, but I notice a certain way you look when you are thinking about Danny. You kind of drift off into another place, where only you and Danny are" she said. "You are still in love with him aren't you?"
How did Abby know that she even had been in love with Danny to begin with. It was no use trying to hide it and it actually felt nice to have someone to talk to about this.
"Yes," she admitted."Abby, I do love him so much and I have agreed to move back with him as his wife" she said smiling at the shocked look on Abby's face. "He never filed the annullment papers Abby. We have been married for three years."
"And why did you agree to do that?" Abby asked already knowing the answer.
"He needs me Abby. He thought I had known he was dying and then just turned my back on him. He thinks I didnt care if he lived or died. I told him tonight that I didn't know and I think he might believe me now but he said the only way he could know for sure was if I agreed to do this. I wasn't sure what to do ar first. I told myself I owed him, you know, but then coming home I realized I wanted this second chance with Danny. I have been waiting for three years for it because I love him and I never told him" she explained.
"So, why aren't you happy?" she asked with concern in her voice.
"He's changed Abby, I'm not talking about the scars, I dont care about them, but he's different, colder. When he told me how our marraige was going to be it was like he was reading instructions of the side of some box or something. He doesnt act as if he wants me to be his wife because he wants me, but rather because he wants me to suffer like he had. That is going to be the hardest thing about going back there. I love him but he wants me only for revenge." she moaned.
"Can you live with that?" Abby asked her.
"Yes" Michelle said without hesitating. "Becuase I love him so much and I almost lost him Abby. I wouln't have even had a chance to say goodbye and he would have died without knowing how much I love him. This has shown me how precious and short life is. I am going to look at it as God sended us a second chance and I will try to love him enough so he can forget the past. I want him to forget yesterday's tears and look for tomorrow's promise" MIchelle said.
"Danny is very lucky to have you" Abby said. "I have always thought so."
"I know you dont think Danny is right for me, but I do love him so much" she said.
"It doesnt matter what I think sweetie, or what your brother thinks or anyone else. IT only matters what you think and you wanna know something?" Abby said. " I think you and Danny were meant to be together. You leave Rick to me. He loves you and he worries about you but he wont ever stand in the way of you being happy. Don't worry, I wont let him" she added with a twinkle in her eye.
MIchelle hugged Abby. "Thanks Abby, you are great. Thanks for the talk" she said and bent down to kiss her neice on the mess of curls on top of her precious head. She turned to go to her room.
"Michelle if you are free tomorrow afternoon, we could go shopping" Abby said.
"Sure" Michelle said. "Where do you want to go?"
"Well, Robin has already outgrown her shoes and she needs some more, and while we are out we could shop at that new lingerie shop in the mall. After all, you have a special night coming up, not to metion three years worth of anniversaries.
MIchelle's answer to her sister in laws remark was to throw her slipper at her. She could hear Abby's laughter even after she closed her door.
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