Rating: I have decided to step out and join the ranks of the R rating although my face is red even as I write this.
Setting: Danny's hotel room 2:00 am
She looks like an angel, was the first thought that came to Danny's mind. He was sitting up against the headboard of the bed in his motel room. The curtains were blowing gently against the breeze being created by the wind outside. He had chosen to sleep with the window cracked so he could hear every sound that was coming from the outside world. He would not be caught unawares on the off chance that anyone found out he had not left Springfield.
He saw her then. Michelle. A vision in white walking towards him. Her hair was down and she is smiling and beckoning to him. He is paralyzed in the bed. She crooks her little finger and motions for him to join her but he can't move. He looks down at his legs, willing them to move. Do something, he screams at them and his voice comes out in slow motion. Get up, he screams again.
Michelle tilts her head and smiles sweetly. Come to me Danny she calls while her white gown blows with the wind. Come to me and let's be together forever, she calls.
Danny attempts to reach out to her but finds his arms are frozen are well. Michelle beckons to him and when she sees that Danny can't move, she throws back her head and begins to laugh softly. Her laughter becomes louder and soon she is transforming before him. No longer is she his beautiful angel, but she has transformed into his mother and is mocking him, reminding him of what he cannot have.
Danny awakens with sweat dripping from his body. He checks his legs and arms and sees that they are in perfect working order. A dream. Only a dream. Michelle had not been here. He got up from the bed and walked to where his illusion had been standing, calling him, and inhaled. No perfume.Michelle had not been here and she never would be. His legs were shaking and he went back to the bed and sat down. He put on his pajama bottoms ( the ones Michelle had insisted he wear when they had shared the bed together) and raked his hands through his damp hair.
Danny reached for the half emtpy bottle of tequila that was on his nightstand. Sleep had not come for Danny last night so he had taken the coward's way out and drank himself to sleep. He had met with Frank as planned and Danny had shown him all that he had accomplished on the computer that day. Well, almost all that he had done. He was still going to have to do some of this on his own. Danny had told Frank what he needed him to do and they agreed only to check in with each other via email from now on. Danny couldn't risk Frank being tailed and being led to him. For this to work, Carmen and everyone else had to believe that he had gone to California. If all went the way they had planned, he and Michelle could be together in just a few short weeks.
Danny had also enlisted Frank's help with another little project. It seemed as though after he and Michelle's little talk in the park, when he was so bravado and insisted she sign the annullment papers, he had stupidly left the papers in his briefcase at home. He needed those papers back. He had received the papers back with Michelles signature on them the next day, but he had yet to sign them. He had picked up the pen and was preparing to sign his name when he realized he couldn't do it. Not right then. He couldn't dissolve his marraige to the woman he loved. Not while his soul was still raw. He would sign them, he promised himself, but only when the time was right. He was slightly perturbed at her eargerness to sign them but in all fairness, he had said some reprehensible things to her that day and had practically bullied her into signing them by convincing her he didn't love her.
Those papers were still in his room, he had realized last night. He had been in such a hurry to get out of town and away from his broken heart that he had simply left them in his briefcase in his closet. Those papers were his and Michelle's private business and he would not let him mother get hold of them. He didn't think his mother would go into his room but one could never tell with Carmen Santos and Danny knew better than to put anything past her.
Frank had agreed to go to the house with a fake search warrant on the pretext of finding some illegal documents in Danny's briefcase. He had emailed him a short while ago and told him that he had the briefcase in hand and it was still locked. Danny breathed a sigh of relief but would not believe all was well until he had the briefcase in his hand and he saw for himself the papers were still there. He wasn't going to sign them tonight either but knowing they were there in his safe keeping made him feel better.
His thoughts were interrupted by the soft knock on the door. Frank's knock.He answered the door quickly, Frank handed him the briefcase and snuck out into the night as if he had never been there.
He brought the briefcase to the desk and worked the combination. No one knew the combination but him and now that the briefcase was in his hand, all the loose ends were now tied up. He heard the familiar click of the lock as the combination had been completed. He lifted the briefcase lid to remove the document, only to find, to his complete astonishment, that the briefcase was completely empty.
The annullment papers were gone.. Carmen....
Danny clenched his teeth, grabbed his pants and jacket and went storming out into the night.
*********************************
Setting: Michelles room.
Background: Three weeks have gone by. Danny is still in his hotel working with Frank to bring down Carmen. Michelle is still attending college.
The alarm jolted Michelle awake and she turned to look at the clock. 6:30, oh no. Her alarm had been set for 6:00 and had been buzzing for thirty minutes without her hearing it. She almost always woke up before the alarm even went off. She rolled over and shut the annoying buzzing off and sat up. She felt lightheaded and had to lay her head back down again.This was the third time in 2 days she had felt this way. She had finals today and she wasn't even close to being prepared. Did people actually get to go on and become a doctor even if they flunked their first semester of pre-med??
She had tried so hard to concentrate on her studies and had been on her way to getting back on track when those damn anullment papers had arrived by messenger. Annulled. Her marraige to Danny was gone as if it had never happened. It hurt worse than a divorce. At least with a divorce the marraige was recognized as legal. It was dissolved but still recognized as an insitution under God. That manilla envelope that had arrived that day held a piece of paper that had said that Danny and Michelle were not married and in fact had never been.
Danny was free to remarry now, Michelle thought. The Catholic church did not believe in divorce and Danny would not have been free to marry again had they merely gotten a divorce. The annullment was Danny's way of ending something that had never really been so he could move on with his life.
"You knew is was coming Michelle" she said aloud to the empty room. "It's not like it was a big surprise or anything" She had spent the next two days after receiving the annullment papers locked in her room, refusing to see anyone. She didn't eat the food that Abby had put on a tray and left outside her door three times daily.
She knew she was sinking into depression. She knew the warning signs her body was attempting to give her. She had to snap out now before she lost herself completely into the black void, but it was so tempting just to shut down and let go and fall into the abyss where euphoria awaited her. Her family needed her though and so did the people that she would one day help when she became a doctor. She had to look deep down inside of herself and pull herself back up off the spider web over insanity on which she was walking.
She had made the decision to pull herself up by her perverbial boot straps and look forward but she still could not bring herself to eat. She knew what would happen to her if she didn't start eating soon, but she just couldnt make herself. Just the mere thought of food literally made her ill. She had suffered a major emotional trauma and her body was reacting in the only way it could.
She sat up again, slowly this time, and got out of bed. These dizzy spells were signaling that all was not right with her body and if she had any sense about her, she would heed the warnings it was giving. She opened her night stand and pulled out a bottle of vitamins and shook the bottle out and distributed some in her hand. Her body would have completley rebelled by now if it hadn't been for the vitamins. Michelle knew better than to endanger her health the way she had been doing, but at least some of her common sense had taken over and not allowed her to destroy herself completely.
She gathered her things and went into the bathroom to shower. She washed her hair twice, which always made her feel better. She walked out of the bathroom to dry her hair and promptly fainted dead away onto the floor. That was how Abby found her three hours later.
************************************
Setting: Danny's room. It has been three days since Michelle's fainting spell. Danny has just found out about Michelle being sick
"Damn, damn, damn" Danny shouted to no one. What in God's name was he going to do??? He stared at the computer screen and read the email again to make sure he hadn't misread it the first time, but there it was in black and white. Pilar's email had been short and to the point. Michelle was sick. Had been hospitalized for two days and was now at home recuperating.
He mentally blasted Pilar for taking so long in telling him but she had explained in her email how she had hesitated in letting him know because she knew he would rush back to Springfield.
He picked up the phone and dialed Pilar's number. She picked up on the second ring and he didn't give her a chance to even say hello before he began to tear into her for waiting so long to tell him about Michelle.
"Listen Danny, "Pilar said with a voice that let him know she wasn't about to take his crap. "Don't you yell at me. I waited this long because I knew it once you found out it would make you crazy and then you would fly back to Springfield and make things worse. Look Michelle is going to be fine. She was dehydrated and now she if home. She will be fine" Pilar emphasized. "I thought about it for a long and I almost didn't tell you, but something told me to tell you. Judging by your reaction, I am sorry I did" she snapped at him.
Danny let out a long exhale. He cupped the bridge of his nose with his fingers. God, his head hurt. "Listen peanut, I didn't mean to jump down your throat like that. It's just that my nerves are still a little raw, you know??" he said.
"I know Danny , but its only been three weeks. You can't expect to be over someone that quickly. That's why I didn't tell you to begin with. Anyway, Bill says she really is going to be fine. We are going to go over there later today. Do you have a message that you would like me to pass on to her?" Pilar asked and Danny immediately recognized the hope that was in his well meaning sisters voice
You could tell her I will love her until I die, he thought to himself but instead heard himself saying "No peanut, no message. Just keep me posted on her recovery" he said and hung up the phone.
He sat down at the edge of the bed and grabbed the pillow that he never slept without ( when he could manage to sleep that is). It had long since lost Michelles scent but he still held onto it each night like a child would hold on to a security blanket. Michelle had touched this pillow and he would keep it with him always.
He reached for the bottle that he kept readily available on the tacky nightstand. He stared at it before putting it back down. Drowning himself in alcohol was not the solution to forgetting MIchelle. He had drank so much this last couple of weeks that it was beginning to get out of hand. Michelle would be very unhappy if she had known what he had been reduced to. He picked up the bottle, went into the bathroom and poured the remainder of the bottle down the sink.He looked at his reflection in the mirror and felt his stomach turn over.He looked like hell. He hadn't shaved in three days and the lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll making his eyes puffy and dark.
He made a mental note to get some sleep aid pills when he went out later that night. He would not drink himself to sleep ever again. He reached into the tiny shower and turned the water on as cold as it would go. He found his razor and laid it on the edge of the sink. He had to do something about his appearance. He had already made his decision. He had to see MIchelle tonight. Just see her. She would never even know that he had been there. He had to see for himself that she was alright or he would not be able to concentrate on bringing Carmen down. Having set that in his mind, he stepped into the shower and let the icy water sober him up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Pilar stared at the receiver she had just placed back in its cradle. Had she made the right decision in telling Danny about Michelle?? She wasn't sure. He hadnt said he was coming back to Springfield but if she knew her brother he would be on the next flight. That at least was what she was counting on. She knew the dangers of playing matchmaker remembering the last time she had tried and how disastrous that had turned out, but she was convinced Michelle needed Danny. Pilar and Bill had taken Michelle to dinner last week and Pilar was taken aback at how miserable Michelle had looked. She had lost at least 10 pounds. They had tried to get her to eat but she merely nibbled and then finally gave up on the pretense of eating altogether. SHe had been withdrawn and Bill and her attempts to bring her into the conversation had finally succeeded and MIchelle had finally talked about school.That was the only subject she would talk about and Pilar had suppressed her urge to cry.
MIchelle had turned into a shell of the vibrant, young woman she had been just a few short weeks ago. Pilar knew it was because of Danny leaving but there wasn't anything she could do about it. Danny had left town knowing Michelle would be hurt. Pilar wondered what Danny would think if he knew how MIchelle looked now.
Pilar had decided then that she had interferred long enough in Danny's life and vowed to leave it alone for now.
Pilar hoped that Bill would not be mad at her for telling Danny about MIchelle. She would tell him later tonight after they visited MIchelle. She looked at her watch and realized she had better start getting ready. BIll would be here soon, and so would Danny she prayed.
Come back Danny, she said to herself. Michelle needs you. Michelle looked as if her very life depended on Danny coming back.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Setting: Michelle's room, later that night
Someone was here. She felt it. "Danny" Michelle whispered, but knew it was not true. Danny was gone. She was dreaming again. Each night Danny visited her in her dreams. Sometimes she thought he was real and sometimes she knew he was an apparition her love sick mind had summoned.
She felt the breeze from the window. She was thirsty. She tried to get up off the bed, realized that it required too much effort, then rested her head back down.
She felt it again. Someone was here. She looked to the window and saw him there. Danny. It really was him. Please God, let it really be him and not a dream again.
"Danny?" she called and the figure moved. He strode to her bed and sat by her. She still felt so weak, she wished she could be sure it was him and she wasn't dreaming. "Thirsty" she managed to say before her weakness overcame her and she drifted off the sleep again.
Danny pulled up a chair and sat there watching Michelle. For hours, he just sat there and never moved. He reacted each time her breathing changed. Once or twice, not being able to help himself, he had reached out and put his hand across her chest. Just to check her breathing, he told himself, although his hand stayed there longer than was necessary to ensure that her breathing pattern was normal. His hand jumped the first time her body had reacted to his touch. She was in a deep sleep, he could tell that by her even breathing, but when her nipple tightened against his hand, he pulled it away as though it had touched fire.
He sat there in shock and watched her breast until the nipple finally relaxed and flattened again.
What the hell was he doing?? He was taking advantage of a woman who was very sick. He called himself every kind of blue word he could think of.
Michelle stirred in her sleep and began to rub her tongue over her lips. Danny's body reacted in a very male fashion at the sight of her pink tongue moving across her bottom lip but he knew she wasn't playing games, she was merely thirsty again.
Cursing his males hormones he went to the table and got her a glass of water. Her eyes fluttered briefly and Danny leaned over and gently cradled the back of her neck and leaned her forward to bring the cool refreshment to her lips. She never completely opened her eyes, she just searched with her mouth until it found the quenching liquid it sought. He leaned her head back on the pillow and she drifted off to sleep again. He paused, whispered "I love you" in her ear knowing she was asleep, kissed her on the forehead and went back to his bedside vigil.
Danny woke 30 minutes later with a crick in his neck. He must have fallen asleep in the damn chair. It was a pretty chair to look at but it was damn uncomfortable to sleep in.
He listened closely to her breathing again, and watched the rise and fall of her chest. His eyes began to roam to her slender neck and then up to her perfect, angelic face.
He almost fell out of his chair when he came face to face with a pair of dreamy brown eyes. He sat mesmerized by the vision of Michelle in the moonlight. Her gaze held his for what seemed like an eternity.
"Hi" she said with a voice still full of sleep.
"Hey" he answered back. Michelle was looking at him so strangely.
"Are you real?" she said "or are you haunting me again?" she asked in a broken voice. "If you are a dream again, please stop. I cant take much more".
Danny sat frozen in his chair. She was asking him if he were a dream. She dreamed of him just as he dreamed of her.
"I'm real baby, and I am going to take care of you" he said softly. He didn't mean to tell her that, since he couldn't stay but he needed her to relax and go back to sleep. SHe was clearly becoming agitated and he wanted to calm her.
"Danny, please don't go. Stay with me before you disappear again. I have been so lonely without you"
Danny felt the tears drip from his cheeks then.He didn't know how long he had been crying, but he realized it then when the fat teardrops landed on the backs of his hands.
He was trapped. He couldn't have left her if someone had been pointing a gun at this head. She had suffered as much as he had by their separation. He tried not to think of her suffering and he was more determined than ever to finish getting the business on the right track. He and Michelle had been separated for too long.
"I'll stay baby, go back to sleep, I'll stay" he assured her. Her eyes didn't close though and she continued to gaze at him.
"What is it baby?" he asked tenderly. "Do you need something?"
Michelle nodded her head. "What is it" Michelle, what do you need?"
Danny would never have guessed the next thing that came out of Michelle's mouth or the impact it would have on him. Nevertheless, Michelle smiled up at him and whispered "You, Danny, I need you.......make love to me".