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Setting: Michelle is at the lighthouse sitting alone in the dark.
Rating: PG
He's leaving. He's really leaving Michelle thought as she stood up to pace around the lighthouse. She didn't turn on the light, she felt some sort of comfort in the dark with only the light from the moon illuminating the room leaving dark shadows dancing on the walls. Dark is how she felt at this moment. Dark and alone. Michelle Bauer, princess extrodinaire of Springfield and everyone's little sis was utterly and completely alone. Danny had told her he was leaving. Going out west to start a new life. Without her. It really was over. She had hoped God, she had hoped she would be able to get through to him but after that fateful day in the park when he told her how he really felt about her, she knew it was over. No matter how much her heart tried to tell her differently, Danny had told her they could never be together.
And now he was taking that a step further. He was not only leaving town but leaving the state as well. He wanted to get as far away from her as he could. New tears fell as she thought about how her life was turning out. She had fallen hopelessly in love with her soon to be ex-husband and she hadn't even seen it coming. She had been so mad when she had had to give up Jesse to marry Danny to save herself and her friends. She had fought him tooth and nail, constantly reminding him that she loved Jesse, that she would never love him and that she was only enduring him because her very life depended on it. She had acted so ungrateful, never really looking at things from his point of view. He hadn't asked to be saddled with a wife either. But still, she had made it her mission to bring him and his family down and to get back to her life with Jesse.
But something unexpected and wonderful happened along the way. She couldn't really pin point the exact moment she fell in love with Danny but the fact was, she had. Completely head over heels in love with him and that frightened her more than anything. How could she have feelings for this man??? This man she barely knew, who had forced her into giving up her dream of a life with Jesse. Who brought her into a den of vipers to live. How could she??
But she did. Very deep intense feelings. More intense than she had ever felt before in her life. More intense than Jesse. She hated admitting that even to herself but it was true. She knew now that what she felt for Jesse wasn't the real thing. He seemed to have found the real thing with Drew anyway and she was both happy and relieved. She regretted now giving herself to Jesse. She wished she could give herself for the first time to Danny, her husband. But it was a moot point, because Danny wasn't even interested now.
She choked back a bitter laugh. How ironic life was. She had spent months fending off Danny's advances because she thought she loved Jesse and now she would give anything to have it to do over again with Danny. She would have to live the rest of her life without Danny because she was a stupid, naive little fool.
She sat down on the bed that they had shared for one brief night and held the pillow to her breast. She recalled the sweet, gentle way he had tried to make love to her. He had told her how beautiful she was. It was a set up for Jesse in her mind, but for Danny it was real. She had felt how real it was for him and she grimaced in shame at the way she had reacted. She couldn't go through with it and she recalled Danny's expression when she stopped. She had tormented him so much during their marriage and she hoped he could find some happiness when he moved away from her. After all, wasn't his his goal to put her and any reminders of here as far behind him as he could? He deserved to be happy.
She lay down on the bed and sobbed. Broken, heart wrenching sobs that emptied her soul. Why did it have to turn out his way????? It was like fate had given them one last chance to be together and they hadn't known what to do with it.
Pilar had set them up beautifully. She had not expected to run into him again after he told her how he had manipulated her that day in the park. She had set her mind to go back to school and get on with her life. She had known even before that day in the park that she didn't want Jesse anymore. She had planned to continue her life and hope that each day the love she felt for Danny would diminish a little and she could maintain some semblance of a life.
But her eyes had lit up at the first sight of him in Pilar's room. He was so beautiful and she had wanted to run into his arms and declare her everlasting love. Instead he had reminded her that they had no future together and told her he was leaving town for good. He hadn't said it was to get away from her, but she knew. She had hurt him one time too many and had no more chances left. Instead of being reunited as Pilar had hoped, they were further apart than ever.
She had seen surprise (and maybe hope) in his eyes before it changed into an unreadable mask and his expression never changed even when she placed her wedding ring into his palm. He had simply agreed with her that she should not keep it and then closed his hand around the golden symbol of their union.
What had she expected him to do?? Get down on his knees and beg her to stay with him. IT was funny because that is exactly what she had hoped he would do and she would have said yes in a second but what could she do now??? He was leaving, was probably already gone. He was leaving her life for good tonight and she was just going to let him go.
Suddenly, she shot up from the bed. Like hell she was. She was not going to let him go without telling him how she felt. She would go to the airport, pray she wasn't too late and tell him how she felt once and for all leaving nothing out. IF he rejected her, then fine, and she would deal with that later, but she had to tell him the truth about how she really felt. She was not going to go through her life wondering what if.
With a renewed sense of hope, she grabbed her purse and headed out of the door and to the airport. Danny had never mentioned what time his flight was and she wasn't wearing her watch, so she didn't even know if she could catch him. She jumped in the car and floored the gas pedal. Please God, she prayed, Let me get there in time to tell him. Don't let him walk away not knowing how much I love him.
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The walk on the beach was clearing Danny's head. He never did drink any of his scotch so it wasn't alcohol that was hampering his ability to think straight. It was Michelle. She was on his mind yet again. If he were to be truthful with himself, she never was far from it. The crisp, cool air was soothing and healing. New possibilities were merging in his head. He grabbed his cell phone and called the airport and canceled his flight. He could always rebook if this didn't work out. He then called his uncle in California and informed him that he would be delayed and he would call him with more details at a later time. His head was spinning now as his plan unfolded in his mind. It could work, ....it could happen..... he told himself. There might be one last chance for us, he thought.
He arrived at the lighthouse, put his shoes back on and went up the stairs. The door was unlocked and he stepped inside. It was totally dark and he reached to turn on the lantern when he caught a whiff of Michelle's perfume. He would know that scent anywhere. He had given it to her on their wedding day as a present. She had looked at him with a shocked expression then softly admitted that she hadn't thought to get him anything. He had simply smiled and told her that she had already given him everything he had ever wanted or needed. She had looked puzzled by that statement but thanked him nonetheless for the gift. He breathed deeply now to take in the scent completely. Was she here????? He looked around but even in the darkness he knew she wasn't here. He would feel it if she were, but she had been here recently. Is this where she had gone when she had left Pilar's room? He had not thought of the possibility before and suddenly it made perfect sense that she would come here to her and Jesse's special place to look for comfort after he had hurt her. He closed his eyes and grimaced at the thought of her coming to her and Jesse's place, but he knew Jesse at least had not been here with her to comfort her. HE hadn't wanted to hurt her, hadn't wanted to accept the ring he had placed on her finger just a few short months ago back. HE still had the damn thing in his pocket and he reached into his pocket and touched it to remind himself that she really had given it back to him. He had wanted to throw it back at her and tell her he didn't want it but he just stood there with a stupid look on his face and took it. What did she think he was going to do with the blasted thing anyway: Give it to someone else??? No, there would be no one else, not now, not ever. After all you could only give your heart away once and he had given his to Michelle. Whether she wanted it or not, Michelle Bauer was in possession of his heart. Maybe one day in the future, when he didn't cry over Michelle everyday, he would meet someone that he liked and he could have a family. Even if that happened he would make sure the person knew that he didn't and couldn't love them. They would know that up front and if he found someone who could live with his loving another, then yeah.. he guessed he wanted a family.
He had imagined having a family with Michelle often and his gut tightened as a reminder of the dream that he could not have. Maybe if he had told Michelle some of his dreams, like having a son with dark hair and eyes and a daughter with silky blond hair and twinkling eyes like her mother. Maybe if he had told Michelle things would be different, Maybe....
He shook his head as if to clear the tormenting images out of his mind. The mental image of his child nursing at Michelle's breast, literally knocked the breath out of him. He sat on the bed , still inhaling her scent, and forced his mind to think about the plan he had set in motion. He had spoken with his uncle who had understood and had promised to keep Danny's whereabouts a secret. Danny had emphasized how important it was not to let anyone know he had not come to work with him. He had told his uncle he would explain it all later. His uncle had said he understood and Danny could have sworn he heard the old man chuckling when he hung the phone up..
He grabbed the pillow next to him, inhaled deeply and made a silent promise to Michelle that she would always be safe and one day, when this was over, they might have a chance together, assuming she still wanted one. He had to dethrone Carmen first and turn the business around without anyone aware of him doing it. He had to make some arrangements tonight and he needed to get busy, but he was reluctant to leave the place where Michelle had been earlier, where he could still feel her. "To hell with it" he said and grabbed the pillow with her scent on it and took it with him.
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Setting: Springfield Airport
Michelle jolted out of her car and ran to the airport forgetting that she as wearing teeny sandals on her feet. She slowed down before she broke her neck but walked as fast as she could. Her destiny lay in that airport. She had called the airport from the car and was informed that the plane to California was set to depart in 20 minutes. She looked out on the runway and saw a plane. The door was closed and she wasn't sure if that meant that the passengers hadn't loaded yet, or if they had already loaded. Please, please God, she thought, hear my prayers. You didn't answer me when mom died or when Zachary died, but please, I am begging you......please hear me now!!!
Finally she made it to the airport entrance. She quickly scanned every face looking for Danny. She didn't see him nor did she see anyone she would have expected to be here to see him off. Carmen, Pilar and Dietz were not in sight and she deduced that Danny had told them he didn't want them there. She continued her desperate search in the sea of endless faces. There were so many people here that she felt certain that the plane hadn't loaded yet. Airplanes in Springfield were notorious for departing late and this was one time was glad they were.
After several more minutes of searching and not seeing her husband, a thought popped into her head. She could have him paged. She smiled to herself at the revelation. She would simply walk over to the desk and get a clerk to page him. How wonderful!!!!!! She would be sure to see him then. She began to rehearse in her mind all of the things she would way to him when they met again. She would beg him not to leave and tell him she loved him, had loved him for a while, had even loved him the night she confessed to turning him into the FBI. She imagined him saying he loved her too and she would fly into his arms and everything would be alright. Once she told him, it would be alright. She just had to get the opportunity to tell him she loved him.
She arrived at the desk that was under the board showing the flight that was going to California, the one that Danny would be on, the one that would take him far away from her. She had to wait a few minutes while the clerk dealt with an unruly customer. She was getting edgy and when the customer finally calmed down and left, she breathlessly walked up to the clerk.
"Hi" she said, "I need you to page someone for me. Its very important". The clerk smiled and said "of course, what flight are they on?"
"The one to California, his name is ........"
The clerk interrupted Michelle saying" I'm sorry, honey, the plane for California is already loaded and is taking off now." she said and pointed to the big glass window where Michelle could see a plane preparing to taxi down the runway.
"But, all these people....." her words trailed off. The clerk looked at her with genuine sympathy, "That plane just landed sweetie, I am sorry" she said meaning it. IT was obvious to this clerk that this young woman was crushed by the news of the plane leaving.
Michelle ran to the window that the clerk had previously pointed out and stood there watching the plane gaining speed, "NOOOOOOO" Michelle cried and wrapped her arms around herself and she began to cry, there in the middle of the airport, in front of a hundred total strangers. She didn't care, her whole world had been turned upside down tonight. Let them gawk. She watched the plane until it flew up into the air and eventually out of sight carrying the man she loved out of her life forever. Forever. It seemed as though God were busy yet again and forgot about Michelle Bauer because her prayer was not answered.
"Danny", she whispered brokenly.
She didn't know how long she stood there staring out into the night. She finally found the strength to turn around and see that the terminal was now virtually empty. Empty like her heart. She looked over at the desk clerk who gave her a sad smile. Michelle managed to smile back and for the second time tonight left wondering what she was going to do without Danny.
The desk clerk finished up her paperwork and prepared to leave for home. She had been here many years and had seen many people come and go but she would not forget the shattered and destroyed expression that was on this young lady's face. No, you didn't forget a thing like that........
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�Setting: The next morning. Danny is in his hotel room
Danny woke up smiling. He had been dreaming about Michelle and it had been a happy one, not the cruel dreams he usually had. They had been back together and she had told him she loved him. He stretched and realized he was still cradling the pillow that he had stolen from the lighthouse, the one with Michelle's scent on it. He hugged it close to his body and breathed in her scent. It was the closest thing to her he could have right now. He looked at the clock. 10:00. He never slept that late but it had been nearly 3:00 before he finally got his room and had gotten settled in. He had paid for his room in cash under an assumed name with the understanding that no questions were to be asked. He had called Frank from his room and had asked him to meet with him.
Frank was immediately curious and oblivious of the late hour, had driven to the seedy hotel Danny had chosen to reside in. Frank had listened with interest for the next hour and had agreed to work with him. Frank had agreed to keep his presence in Springfield a secret. Together they had laid out their plan. They had agreed to meet again later tonight.
Danny got up and took a shower. He hated washing off Michelle's scent, but it was necessary since he also had the salt water and sand to get off him. He set up the computer he had gotten after he had left the lighthouse and starting setting everything up. He accessed his email account and read his mail. He had to suppress a smile when he read the one from Carmen that asked how he like the California weather. He knew she was hoping he would meet some bimbo out west and that would make him forget about Michelle. He didn't think she understood the kind of love he had for Michelle. She had probably never felt it herself. He knew she loved papa, but not deeply, passionately the way a woman should love a man and vice versa. He would wait a while before he answered her emails.
He accessed his personal banking account and found everything as it should be. Excellent. It was time to set the plan in motion.
He folded his hands and placed them under his chin. He began to contemplate his first move. He couldn't tell Frank all of his plan because Frank's badge could be on the line if he did anything illegal and Danny might have to wander into that territory a bit. He was entering numbers into the computer when his mind drifted back to Michelle and their meeting the night before. That wasn't even 24 hours ago and already he felt as if he had aged a lifetime. He looked on the desk at their wedding rings that he had placed side by side. He stared at them and recalled their wedding vows they had said to each other. Michelle had looked terrified that day. She hadn't wanted to marry him and had made no secret of that fact, but when they had kissed as man and wife, something changed. He knew she felt it too and he had been determined that they could make it. She may never come to love him the way that he loved her but he could live with that. If he had her, he could live with anything, besides, he loved her enough for the both of them.
He had had the chance last night to tell her how he felt, but he didn't. He prayed that wasn't his last opportunity. There had never been any second chances for Danny Santos before, but this time he foolishly dared to hope.
Being a Santos was so hard. People judged you by your name not who you were. Michelle had even done that herself. She was so afraid of him because his name was Santos. OF course, her experience with Mick hadn't helped her to think otherwise. The people in Springfield were terrified of him, even those who only knew the Santos name. He wanted to scream at them and tell them he was not like that but that wouldn't have listened. He was going to turn that around though. He closed his eyes and made a solemn vow to his papa that he would finish what he had tried so hard to do when he was alive. He would turn the export business into one of the most successful in the state and he would do it legitimately. When people looked at Danny Santos then, it wouldn't be with fear but with respect. Hard earned respect. The kind his father had died trying to earn. "I won't let you down papa" he said aloud. "I remember what you told me" referring to his last words to him.
Danny's mind drifted back to that day in the hospital. His father was laying in the bed, his body shutting down from his wounds. He had asked to speak with Danny alone. Barely 13 years old, Danny had walked into his father's room and stood at his bed. His knees were shaking but he stood straight before his papa. He knew his papa was dying and he knew what that meant. He tried to hold back the tears and show his papa how brave he was, but Manuel Santos saw the quiver of his son's lower lip and reached out for his hand. Danny placed his hand in his papa's cold, clammy hand and his papa raised it to his lips and kissed it.
"You are the man of the house now, Danny" he had said. "Take care of the family. Look into your heart and you will always know the right thing to do"
Danny had told his papa that he loved him and that he would remember what he told him. Carmen had entered the room then and Danny had stepped back into the hall. Half an hour later, his mother's wail could be heard coming from his papa's room and Danny knew that his papa was gone. Gone forever. Danny was alone.
"I remember" Danny said to himself again while staring at the computer screen, "I remember", and began rapidly finishing his task.
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