Unforeseen Circumstances
Parts 3-4
Michelle stood at the door of A-1 Investments with her hand frozen on the knob unable to turn it. Taking a deep breath, she summoned all of her strength and maneuvered the knob until the door began to open, then stepped inside.
The coolness of the air conditioned office felt wonderful against her hot skin and with a boldness she didn't really feel, she turned towards the front desk, straightened her back and began to walk towards the lady sitting at the desk.
The nameplate on her desk read Ruth Randall and just as Michelle was about to speak, she looked up from her ledger and asked if she could help her.
"Yes, please" Michelle answered. "I am looking for Alex Perez. I don't have an appointment" she said anticipating the secretary's next question, "but it is imperative that I speak with him please" she stated matter of factly.
" I am sorry Miss…" Ruth began.
"It's Mrs. Actually" Michelle answered. "I am a widow although I still use Mrs. Please tell Mr. Perez, that Michelle Santos is here to see him."
"I'm sorry Mrs. Santos, but Mr. Perez has left for the day. If you like, I will be happy to take a number where you can be reached" she offered. "If you have some papers you want to leave with him to look over, I will see that he gets them."
"No" Michelle replied, "Thank you but this is of a personal nature, but it is still very important. I really don't have a number since I just got into town and haven't settled anywhere yet. Perhaps you could give me Mr. Perez's phone number?" she asked wistfully.
"I am sorry Mrs. Santos" Ruth said with genuine sympathy in her voice "but surely you understand that I couldn't give out Mr. Perez's private number."
"Yes of course" Michelle answered, "I understand. I am ashamed I even mentioned it but I have no other way to contact him. May I make an appointment to see him tomorrow then?" she asked. "I realize it is not of a business nature, but I have traveled a long way to speak with him and I think he will wish to hear what I have to say," she said cryptically.
"Of course Mrs. Santos" Ruth agreed. "I have put you down for 9:00 in the morning. Is that too early?"
"No, that is perfect. Thank you" she answered. "I will be here at 9 sharp."
She readjusted her purse over her shoulder and turned to leave when Ruth called her name. Turning around, she faced Mr. Perez's secretary again.
"Usually Mr. Perez stops at the donut shop down the street around this time of day. Who knows? You may run into him there" she offered.
"Thank you again Ms. Randall. I really appreciate all of your help and kindness," Michelle said as she walked out of the office and into the parking lot.
Ruth stared at the door that the young lady had just retreated from. This was all very odd. Not once in the three years that she had worked for Alex Perez had he had a visitor of a personal nature. He was 100 percent business all the way.
Lord only knew how many times she tried to get him to enter the world socially but he usually just smiled and winked at her whenever she brought the subject up as if to say that he had his personal life well in hand and he didn't need any help from her or from anyone else.
She had always felt that there was more to Alex Perez than met the eye. He was a calm, cool, brilliant businessman with a touch of sadness behind his eyes. She had speculated a lot over the years as to what had put that sadness there but as of yet, she had never dared an opinion verbally. Her opinion was that he had lost someone, through death perhaps, that he had loved very much and he hadn't healed yet and that was the reason he was still tightlipped about his personal life.
She realized it was just conjecture on her part, but she hadn't lived her 56 years without seeing things like this a few times and recognizing it for what it was.
She had held her tongue though and had never approached him about the shadows behind his brown eyes. A lost love could sometimes be irreplaceable and she would bet her retirement that was the reason that someone as handsome and charming as Alex, remained single.
She sighed as she took in the unfairness of it all. She had never met anyone as kind and fair as Alex and she just hated to see him alone. As much as he tired to dismiss the subject of going out, whenever it was brought up, there was a longing on his face that hadn't escaped her scrutiny.
She would stay out of it though because even though she cared for him deeply, it was still his life and his decision to remain single, if he so chose.
It really was a crying shame though, Ruth thought. Despite her attempts not to be curious about the visitor who had just left the office, she found herself most curious indeed. What on earth was so important that Mrs. Santos had to see Alex today? And what about the desperation in her voice? What was that all about?
Now her curiosity was piqued to a level so high that she could not suppress it. Michelle Santos had been so insistent……….
Oh my goodness. Her name was Michelle. Alex had called her Michelle today and she had thought he had lost it.
This was getting stranger by the minute and the next time she saw Alex, she was going to make him spill everything. After all, he brought her into this by calling her Michelle to begin with. She had kept her nose out of his business long enough, but this new development could not be ignored and if Alex thought he was going to dodge her questions like he usually did, than he didn't know her very well at all.
"More coffee honey?" the attractive waitress with a nametag that read Linda asked.
"What?" Michelle said coming out of her daydream "oh yes please."
"Sugar, you were a million miles away just then" she smiled as she refilled Michelle's cup of rapidly cooling coffee.
"Yes I was," she admitted sheepishly.
"You wanna order something to eat to go with that coffee?" Linda asked. "We got some great cinnamon buns today."
Michelle remembered that she hadn't eaten anything today and decided she had better eat something for the baby's sake although she really wasn't very hungry at all, in fact the thought of food kind of made her feel sick.
"Sure" she answered the bubbly waitress "I would like a powdered donut please" she said and Linda nodded her head and went to retrieve it for her.
Michelle absently stirred her coffee barely hearing the clink of the spoon against the ceramic coffee cup. She had been sitting here for the last half hour looking out of the window, and so far she hadn't seen a sign of Alex.
Perhaps he wasn't going to come to the donut shop today. Perhaps she should just eat her donut, get back on the interstate and find an exit where there was a hotel and then sleep like the dead until her meeting with Alex tomorrow.
That was exactly what she would do, she decided taking a large gulp of her coffee. She would regain her reserves and deal with this tomorrow.
Linda brought her powdered donut to her and laid it on the table. "It's a good thing that Alex didn't come in here today for his donut" she began, "otherwise there wouldn't be one for you. You two are the only ones that ever order those types of donuts."
Michelle snapped her head around to look at the smiling waitress. Could she mean Alex Perez?
"Excuse me" she said "Alex??"
"Yes" Linda offered. "He's a regular here. Comes in 4 or 5 times a week and orders powdered donuts. He works down the road at an Investment office. Tall, dark, very handsome with a touch of sadness about him that makes you want to pull his head to your bosom and give him comfort, you know?" she said.
Michelle decided to use this opportunity to find out more about the man Alex Perez. "Won't he be angry if he comes in and you have sold his donut to someone else?" she asked.
Linda guffawed loudly, which grated on Michelle's nerves a bit "Shoot no, he won't be mad" she said lightly shoving Michelle's shoulder. "Alex is as easy going as they come. Are you kidding? He will just get some coffee and wait until tomorrow sugar, don't you worry about that. Besides, you snooze, you lose right" she said laughing at her own joke. Linda looked down at her watch and continued. "I don't guess he'll be coming in today though since it's getting on past 5 now. He usually just goes on home if he hasn't come in by now" she offered.
Michelle wondered if Linda knew what a veritable gold mine of information she was. Without having to say very much, she could get Linda to divulge some information about Alex, perhaps even tell her where he lived.
"This Alex" Michelle began. "He eats these donuts everyday?" and Linda nodded.
"Well, I am not really hungry and I would be willing to give them up for him if you think he would like them. Maybe you could take them to him after you get off work or something" she suggested.
Linda mulled over Michelle's idea and said "Sugar, nothing would make me happier than to go over to his apartment and give him some goodies if you know what I mean, but the truth is, I gotta close the shop tonight so I can't" she said. "Damn shame too cause he sure does love those donuts" she added.
Michelle watched as Linda's face lit up with an idea. "Say" she began. "I know you don't know him, but if you could run them over for him and tell him Linda sent them, I would be very appreciative," she added.
"I think I could do that" Michelle offered totally dumbfounded that her plan had worked and grabbed a pen out of her purse and began to write down the directions before the waitress realized she had been duped.
Alex put the bottle back into the cabinet without taking a drink. He had fully intended to come home and get stinking drunk until he could put Michelle and what he could not have again out of his mind but now he just couldn't summon the energy it would take to get drunk.
He had been avoiding the locked box that he had dragged out of the closet for an hour now. He knew it would hurt worse than cauterizing an open wound when he opened it, but he felt such a strong connection with Michelle today that it had chased him back home to his memories.
He had thought all afternoon of Michelle and their night together. He had wondered so much about what she had done when she went back to Springfield. Had she finally gone on with her life? Had she finished school yet?
So many things he wanted to know but would never find out. He would never get over the pain in her voice that night and he had come very close to calling Frank today to tell him they had to find a way for him to be with Michelle. Maybe they could leave the country or something.
He had vetoed the idea almost as soon as he had thought of it, but for one second, he had felt hope again. He had felt like there would be a reason to keep on living.
Losing the battle he had known he wasn't strong enough to win, he slowly opened the locked box and took out Michelle's picture and brought it with him into the kitchen to get some coffee.
He placed it on the table and went to pour himself a cup of coffee when he heard the knocking on the door. He looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:30 and he knew who it was. It was Linda from the donut shop bringing him his donut that he hadn't gone into the shop to eat today. She sometimes felt like she had to go above and beyond the call of duty and bring him the donut even when it was apparent that he didn't care if he had it or not. He knew it was just a ploy to come over and hopefully get an invitation inside but so far she had been unsuccessful in her efforts and would remain so as far as he was concerned.
He buttoned up his shirt and went to answer the door, in no mood for pleasantries tonight. He hated to do it, but tonight he would be blunt with her and ask that she not come to his apartment again.
He practically pulled the door off of its hinges as he opened it but it was he who got the surprise when he saw Michelle standing on the other side of the door.
_____________________________________________
Danny closed his eyes and shook his head and then reopened his eyes. Michelle was still there. So, he hadn't been imagining the strange feelings he had been having all day. Michelle was in town.
Too dumbfounded to form any coherent words, Danny merely stood there looking at her, not knowing what to say or do. Thankfully, she took the initiative and spoke first, breaking the awkward silence that surrounded them.
"Hi Alex" she said and as if a spell were lifted off of him, he was able to find his tongue.
"Michelle" he said casually, completely unaware of how harsh the tone he used sounded to her ears
"May I come in?" she asked still standing on his front stoop. She really wanted to come inside and out of sight of Alex's neighbors, most especially the young blonde woman who had accosted her when she was walking up the pathway to Alex's apartment. She had not so politely told her she was wasting her time if she thought she could get anywhere with Alex Perez. She would just be a face in the crowd of women that tried their luck with Alex, only to be rejected and just between the two of them, she thought Alex was probably gay since he never seemed interested in any woman who showed interest in him.
Michelle hadn't dignified the woman's remark with any sort of response whatsoever and the woman had just shrugged and said "Consider yourself warned" before sashaying down the pathway and into a small, red sports car.
Michelle wondered how long he was going to make her wait on the stoop before he invited her in although she remained silent and finally the door opened wider, allowing her access into his home for the second time.
She tried not to remember how they had barely managed to get through the door the first time before they fell into each other's arms in desperation. She tried to push the memory of clothes being pulled off in haste to the back of her mind and the recollection of the way their bodies had done all of their talking for them, was enough to make her blush.
It was the result of that desperation to be with each other that had brought her back to Alex's place to begin with and it would serve her well to put that night out of her mind, for in just a few minutes, Alex himself would learn about the results of that night.
She could tell by the look on his face that he was also remembering their night together and she felt herself go weak in the knees despite herself.
What was it about this man? Her initial attraction to him had originally stemmed from his resemblance to Danny, but for as many similarities as there were between Alex and Danny, there were just as many differences. She recalled how masculine Alex's body was compared to Danny's and there was that jagged scar on his side that had caught her attention. From a medical standpoint, it had appeared to be a bullet wound of some sort, but it had been dark and she couldn't be sure and she hadn't asked him about it.
It wasn't just the physical traits that attracted her either; it was also the kindness she had been offered that night. The gentleness of his caresses had brought her to ecstasy and the concern he had shown while she told him of Danny, had made her cry.
Truth told, she had found herself wondering about him a few times since she had left but coming back here to see him had never crossed her mind. Alex reminded her too much of Danny and if they had become involved in more than just the one night they had shared, she would have to admit that it would be more about Danny than about Alex and that wouldn't be fair to him. It wasn't his fault that he looked so much like Danny.
She made her way into the living room and suddenly remembered the white bakery bag that Linda had given her to pass on to Alex.
"You want to sit down?" Danny asked.
"Yes, thanks" she said timidly. "By the way, the waitress at the donut shop said to give these to you. She is the one who gave me your address. She was most eager for you to have them," she said and he responded to her comment by rolling his eyes.
"Come and sit," he said leading her to the couch. She followed him and was glad to get to sit down. She suddenly didn't feel so good. She was extremely nervous about telling him her news and she could almost feel the bile rising to her throat.
She lowered her head between her knees and took several deep breaths to calm herself. He was at her side in a moment and soon she felt his hand begin to rub the back of her neck, moving his thumb against her neck in a circular motion and sending shivers down her spine.
"Can I get you some water or something?" he asked.
"No thank you Alex. I came here to talk to you about something and I need to do it before I lose my nerve" she admitted.
"Okay Michelle" he said, " you have my full attention."
"But before I do that" she began mysteriously "I need to say something." She paused and licked her dry lips before she continued.
"I owe you an apology Alex for leaving the way I did. I just felt so rotten at what I had done to you and you had only shown me comfort and kindness that I just had to leave."
"Michelle, I am confused. You didn't do anything to me that you need to apologize for. I don't understand what you are saying," he said.
"Yes I did Alex," she continued. "I used you. When I saw you in that donut shop my heart stopped. You looked so much like Danny that I had to go and see if you were he even though I knew you weren't. Still, when I heard you say you were Alex and not Danny, it felt like losing him all over again. I shouldn't have come home with you that night when I knew what would happen. It wasn't fair to you Alex. I used you terribly that night and I am sorry," she said.
"How so?" he asked.
"I pretended you were Danny and that I was getting one more night with him. I am sorry. You didn't deserve to be used like that, but I can't explain what it felt like to be so caught up in a memory that I wasn't able to discern the difference between reality and fantasy. In my mind, I was making love to my husband. Can you forgive me?" she asked.
Danny stared at Michelle and saw the torment in her eyes. Words couldn't begin to describe the onslaught of feelings he had washing over him. How is the world was he supposed to feel about hearing his wife tell a man who she thought was a stranger that she made love to him while thinking of her deceased husband, who coincidentally was also him.
What could he say? No problem babe? Glad I could be there for you?
How was he going to open his mouth and speak when he knew his words would betray him? His heart was screaming at him to tell her the truth but he couldn't. He just couldn't.
Besides, for some odd reason, his pride was hurt a bit. Why? He should be thrilled that Michelle hadn't been making love to a stranger in her mind but he wasn't. Damn it, he wasn't and he had no idea why.
He cleared his throat as he nodded to her indicating that he heard and understood what she had said.
"What else?" he said in an unsteady voice. The words came out a little harsher than he intended and he wished he could take them back.
Michelle looked at him as if she were hurt by his response. "Pardon?" she squeaked.
"You said there was something else you wanted to talk to me about" he said with a voice completely void of emotion.
"Yes I did," she said but now she didn't know how she was going to tell him when he was looking at her like that. Oh God, if he were angry now, what he be like when she told him….
"Come on then" he said standing up and smoothing the wrinkles in his pants nervously, as he stood "let's hear it."
"Uh" Michelle began when the second wave of nausea hit her. "I think I am going to be sick" she said and ran towards the bathroom.
She was up off the couch and heading for the bathroom so quickly that he barely had time to go after her. The bathroom door was closed in his face, leaving him to stand in the hallway as he wondered whether or not to go in after her.
He heard the toilet flush, indicating that she had indeed gotten sick and decided to take his chances and enter the bathroom to try and help.
She was kneeling on the floor with her head lying atop the green fuzzy lid cover. Her color still didn't look good and he took a washcloth from his linen closet and wet it and knelt beside her to apply it to her heated face and neck.
He sat down beside her on the floor while he administered to her until she lifted her head so he could wipe her neck and chin.
"Do you feel better?" he asked tenderly.
God she was so confused. One minute he was looking at her like she was something he had just scraped off the bottom of his shoe and the next, he was administering to her as if she were a fragile baby bird that had fallen out of it's nest.
She nodded and attempted to stand up. Her legs felt like rubber though and she had a hard time standing upright on them. She grabbed for the sink for support but missed and ended up falling straight into Alex's arms.
She tried to pull herself out of his embrace but found she was locked in it tightly, so she just laid her head on his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world and breathed in his scent.
Heaven help her, he even smelled like Danny.
Why was she doing this? Danny was gone.
She didn't want him to be and she still cried rivers of tears over him being taken from her, but the fact remained, he was gone. She still loved him with all of her heart and would never stop, but that wouldn't change the fact that he had been taken from her by a lifestyle that he had been trying so hard to escape. That was just the way things were and she needed to accept it and go forward with her life with Danny only in her memory.
She allowed herself, yet again to be comforted by this man, which confused her even more. Together, she and this man had made a baby and they would always have a connection but could she allow herself to feel anything for him? Wouldn't she always wonder if she were just having residual feelings for her Danny? Would Alex ever trust that her feelings could be about him and not her beloved husband of whom he had the misfortune of looking exactly like?
She burrowed her head deeper into his shoulder and felt his arms tighten around her even more. She pulled her trapped arms free and wrapped them around his waist, pulling them into even closer contact.
She felt his Adam's apple move up and down and before she could stop herself, she placed a small gentle kiss on it and tasted his salty skin.
It felt so good to be held again. Shivers were running over her body at the close contact she was having with Alex. She could tell he was affected also. His breath was beginning to come in short; shallow spurts and she knew they were treading into dangerous waters.
"Michelle" she heard him murmur into her hair. She couldn't be sure but it felt like he was kissing the top of her head as she had kissed his throat.
"Mmmmm" she answered totally caught up in the feeling of being in Danny's, no damn it, Alex's arms. Oh God.
She pulled out of his embrace as if he had set her on fire, ignoring the hurt look on his face.
"What is it Michelle?" he said already knowing the answer.
"I still need to talk to you and I don't think it is a good idea for us to get caught up in the moment again," she explained. "Could I take you up on that offer of some water now?"
"Sure Michelle" he said reluctantly letting her wiggle out of his embrace. "Come on, it's in the kitchen."
She followed him down the hall and into the kitchen. She watched him as he opened the refrigerator and took out a clear jug of water and began pouring some into a glass for her. She decided that it would be much easier if she told him while his back was turned so she took the opportunity that was providing itself.
"Alex. I came back to Massachusetts because I have something very important to tell you," she said as she watched him move about the kitchen. Her eyes followed him as he added ice cubes to her drink. It's now or never, she thought as her mouth formed began to form the words.
"Alex. I came to tell you that I am..." and her words became stuck in her mouth as her gaze fell upon the picture of herself that had been placed on the kitchen table.