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The service had moved downstairs into the fellowship hall. Beth lagged behind a bit and made polite small talk with Vicki and David. The crowds have been collecting around little Alan Spaulding and she knew it was going to be her turn to ooh and ahh over the little darling soon.
She held no ill-will for the precious little boy nestled within his mother's loving embrace. It was not his fault that his father had fallen out of love with her. She would be the vilest sort of monster if she wished harm to an innocent child simply because his father had moved on with his life the way that she hadn't yet been able to.
Finally, when it was becoming apparent that she couldn't lag behind anymore without drawing suspicion to herself, she followed the rest of the well wishers into the fellowship hall that was decorated in blue balloons and crepe paper. Most of the guests were milling around eating cake, drinking punch and socializing.
Beth looked at the beautifully decorated table piled high with baby gifts. The newest Spaulding heir was being celebrated unlike any Beth had ever seen.
She tried to hide her uneasiness at being in the same room with all the festivities. She was clearly an outsider but was invited as a courtesy. She looked around the room hoping to see another face that might be as miserable as she was at this moment. It didn't seem fair for her to corner the market on misery.
She looked around and saw only expressions of happiness on the sea of faces. Noone in the room seemed to be anything but ecstatic over the occasion. She glanced over at Buzz who was playing the doting grandfather to the hilt. Selena had accompanied him to the affair and she was cooing at the baby right along with Buzz. They would have been a ridiculous sight, Beth thought to herself, if the emotion that they displayed hadn't been so genuine.
She eyed the room to find a corner in which to lurk when she saw him again. The priest. He had stayed for the rest of the festivities. She didn't expect him to still be here. She would have thought he would have collected his fees for the ceremony and then left the family to enjoy their special occasion. He didn't appear to be the joining in type.
She averted her eyes not wishing to be caught ogling a priest and instead found herself staring at Phillip instead, which was equally unhealthy.
Why did he have to be so happy? Why did everything always seem to go his way? It wasn't fair, damn it, it wasn't.
No, it wasn't fair but who ever said like was fair? Who ever said that you got to live happily ever after? Sure, some people got to live their dream while others were left behind in their dust wondering what to do next, but there were more people like Beth, left all alone to suffer than there were of Phillip, who got to live out his dream life not once but twice. There were more disposable and discarded people like Beth than there were golden boy millionaires with a smile that could make you lose control of your senses. There were more damaged hearts than there were perfect lives.
So, why was she content to live the shattered life that she had chosen? Why wasn't she willing to let whatever she might have with Jim Lemay grow? His only crime seemed to be that he wasn't Phillip Spaulding. He was extremely handsome and sought after. She could make this work if she would just come out of her self-induced depression. She might still have a chance at happiness, she might still have........
She felt it then. Her skin began to tingle and her legs grew weak. She dared not turn around. She knew what she would see. It would be that priest. The priest with the dark, soulful eyes. She could feel his eyes on her even though she had her back to him and she began to shiver.
What was wrong with her? Didn't she see what she was doing? Didn't she know that to look back and face those penetrating eyes would just be inviting more trouble into her already grief filled life? Didn't she know that she could no more stop herself from turning around and facing him as she could stop the sun from rising in the morning?
She took a deep breath and began her slow about face. She prepared herself to come face to face with those heartstopping eyes. She unclenched her fists from her sides and gracefully turned to meet her admirer.
He wasn't there. Oh lord, she felt like such a fool. Here she was preparing to turn around and challenge his gaze and he wasn't even there.
What was it then? She hadn't imagined the feelings that had gone through her body. He jolt of electricity that went through her and touched her soul was not a figment of her desperate imagination. It was very real. She still had the goosebumps on her arms to prove it.
"Excuse me" a deep voice said behind her and she was so startled that she jumped and fell back into his arms.
She was mortified to find that she had slipped into his embrace and somewhat thrilled when he didn't release her right away.
Finally, after she had a steady foot under her, he set her up straight to stand on her own. She nervously pushed an errant strand of blond hair back behind her ear and tried to laugh off the awkward situation that she found herself in.
"Hello" she said breathlessly which made her voice sound much more sultry than she intended. Oh great, he is going to think I am coming on to him, she thought. Well, aren't you Beth? Her inner voice said.
"Oh hush" she whispered and Ray looked at her with a puzzled expression.
"Pardon?" he said and the confused look on his face was so cute that she found herself smiling at him. She was rewarded with a smile of his own.
Oh boy, Beth thought. This was getting very dangerous. She was being drawn into this man's net and he wasn't even casting it out. Had she gotten so pathetic that she was swooning over a man that she hadn't even been properly introduced to?
"Oh nothing. I was just talking to myself. I do that from time to time," she said trying to appear endearing rather than pitiful.
"Oh, I understand. Just as long as you don't answer yourself too" he said and then she heard him laugh at his own joke. A deep throaty laugh that was so charming that she was in danger of losing control of herself.
She had to get away from this man and the things that he was making her feel. Never had she been so excited and uneasy at the same time. He was a priest for goodness sake and the thoughts that she was having about him at this minute weren't based on a desire to test his knowledge of theology. They were very impure thoughts indeed and she was mortified beyond belief.
Thank goodness he couldn't read her thoughts, she thought. She could still get out of this uneasy situation with her dignity intact. That is if she could quit looking at him like he was the last slice of cheesecake on the dessert cart of life.
Oh Bethie, you have completely lost it, she chided herself. When she started comparing men to food, she knew she was in trouble. She was roused out of her daydream by the honey gravel voice as it spoke to her. Drat, she hadn't heard what he had said.
She smiled a mischievous smile and admitted that her mind had been wandering. He smiled back and said "That's okay. I was saying, my name is Ray Santos but I don't believe I have had the pleasure of meeting you before" he said.
"Oh yes, well, my name is Beth" she said and had to think quickly to remember what her last name was. "Beth Spaulding" she added quickly.
"Spaulding?" he asked. "As in the Spauldings that are dedicating their baby?"
"Yes, I am Phillip's ex-wife, but it's a long story" she said trying to make light of the situation.
"Oh" he said as understanding dawned on him. "I see. This must be kind of hard for you then".
"Yes, well, I've had better days I will admit" she said and she couldn't disguise the cloud of hurt that washed over her face. She painted the ever present phony smile back on her face though and resolved to change the subject or just get the hell out of there. Either one was fine with her.
"Is there anything that I can do to help?" he offered.
"Are you asking as a friend or is your meter running?" she asked.
"Whichever you need" he said and smiled and for the first time in a long time, Beth felt like someone actually cared what she was going through.
"Okay, then, yes. I would like that very much," she said. "What did you have in mind?"
"Oh I don't know. How about some coffee at Petulia's. Are you game?" he asked and if Beth didn't know better, she would swear that he was flirting with her.
"Yes" she said. "I am game but I insist on buying" and together they began to walk out of the fellowship hall and into the parking lot.
"Okay, but then I get to pay for the cheesecake" he said and Beth whirled and was met with a jovial smirk on his face that made them both burst out laughing as they continued their journey to her car.
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Carla should write for the show--she makes me care about Beth (ya'll already know how I feel about Real Ray :-) )� Well I have to agree with Elizabeth!� :)� I just adore Real Ray too!