Your Healing Touch
Part 10
By Amy
Before my mind drifts into awareness, my subconscious is keenly aware of Dannys presence and the proximity of his body to my own. Heat radiates from him in a way that sets my soul on fire, and immediately before my eyelids flutter open, I imagine the site of him sleeping next to me.
What greets me when I open my eyes is far better than anything my imagination couldve created. A sleeping angel rests beside me, rolled to his right side, his cheek pressed into the pillow beneath him. Soft brown curls lay tousled on his head, and the smallest hint of a smile curls at the corners of his beautiful lips. His expression is one of peace and contentment, and I silently plead for God to allow those feelings to continue once he awakens.
I toy with the idea of slipping out of bed to make him a surprise breakfast, but think better of it almost instantly. For one thing, I desperately dont want to wake him from the first rest hes known in quite a while, and for another, when he does open his eyes, I want him to see my face, and know that Ive been here all along that I didnt leave him, not even for a second. I fight the urge within me to reach out and touch the softness of his face, fearful that if I do, hell wake up. Instead, I close my eyes again, and pretend that the reason were laying side by side is not the overwhelming feelings of grief that have pervaded his life, but rather because we want to be, for reasons that have nothing at all to do with sadness. Those thoughts dancing in my head, I drift back off to sleep as the warm sunlight begins to creep in through the window.
My pleasant dreams are interrupted by the even more pleasant feeling of a hand, gently pushing my wild morning hair behind my ear. At first startled, and then exhilarated, I realize that its Danny. My eyes immediately fly open and I see him, his gaze fixed on my face, with the most incredibly intense stare Ive ever seen. My vocal chords defy me as I struggle for something to say, but the look on Dannys face reassures me that at this moment, words are completely unnecessary.
A long moment passes between us, and his hand lingers on my face. My heart thumps wildly inside my chest, and I fight to keep my breathing under some semblance of control. For the briefest of seconds, I allow my mind to wander, and imagine what it would be like to feel his lips on mine, his warm mouth enveloping mine, our tongues intertwining, acquainting themselves with one another.
Unwillingly, I rip myself from my imagination and force out the words, Hi there. My voice is a mere whisper as I manage to maintain control of my emotions.
A wide smile spreads across his face as he softly replies, Im sorry. I didnt want to wake you up.
Its o.k., I answer. I woke up earlier, but I mustve drifted off again. Shifting slightly on my pillow and propping head on my elbow, I go on. It looks like you slept.
I did, thanks to you, he says, and my heart swells. I know this is a bit awkward, but thank you.
Its not awkward, I say, surprising myself with the honestly of my answer. And youre welcome.
I feel a little bit silly for asking to sleep with you, he admits. In the bed with you, I mean. Im almost thirty years old, but last night I felt like a child.
You dont have to apologize or feel embarrassed, I assure him. I totally understand what l grief can do to you. I still struggle with it from time to time myself.
He smiles again, and says, It feels wonderful to finally know someone who really understands me.
I know, I answer truthfully. Its nice to know that you understand me too.
No one ever saw me cry before, he says softly. Not since I was a child. Last night you were the first.
His words touch a place in my soul that I never knew existed, and I find myself falling into the realness of him, never wanting to leave. Well, I suppose Im honored that you trusted me that much, especially since we barely know one another.
I trusted you from the moment I walked in here last night, he says. I cant explain it, but I did. Thats why I didnt want you to leave.
I smile broadly as his words sink in. I could tell by your pictures that you were someone I could trust. Its weird, but something inside assured me.
Im glad, he replies. I want you to trust me.
Knowing that I wont be able to reign my emotions in much longer, I quietly suggest that we get out of bed. How does breakfast sound?
Ill make the coffee while you take a shower, he says. Its the least I can do.
Deal, I answer, springing from the bed and grabbing a pair of jeans and a red tee shirt. See you in a few.
Walking briskly down the hallway, I close the bathroom door behind me, unable to stop the smile that spreads across my face as I remember the sight of Danny sleeping beside me and the feel of his hand on my cheek.