What is a failure?

• Seems like you have failed to understand the word
• To define failure is akin to the feeling of falling into water or the heaviness of an outstretched leg
• If you ask a diver how's the feeling of water, the answer is probably it's as smooth as silk; but if it is an amateur jumping off a high cliff into the sea, the answer might range from rough to extreme
• To raise & maintain an outstretched leg while standing might be chicken feed to a gymnast, discomfort to the average, but a torture to the weak, sick or old, though fun to the young
• In the same way,
• There is no hard definition for failures & the criteria for labeling failures lies in individual perception
• However any failure would encompass the inability to reach a pre-defined goal, obligation, aim or wish

Is failure a bad thing?

• How good is pain, unfulfillment or unsatisfaction?
• Prima facie, most would agree failure is as good as these & by itself, failure is widely considered a stigma & a taboo

Why is failure so undesirable?

• There are 2 aspects to the undesirability of failures:

1. Individual aspect: a person often acts to reach or attain something without allowing oneself to fail; the attachment to success is strong; one also tends to neglect other sides to an event & attach ultimate value to its desired side only, thus this narrowing of scope forces one to push & label failure too broadly or label success too narrowly
2. Social aspect: in the same that one sees failures of oneself, one also extends this perception to others around, thus further deepening the stigma & discrimination against failures whether of oneself or others; according to research, social interaction magnifies the level of bad feeling about failures many times

Is there any help to get out this failure crater?

• To reverse failures & its associated undesirability involves:

1. Managing perception: the way to see & perceive failures has to be changed first & then managed; for oneself & in relation to others
2. Putting in effort: the factual actions are separate from perceptions; effort has to be put into anything; there are no free lunches; everything especially success comes with a price; be willing & able to give to able to receive

How to manage perception?

• An analogy can be drawn to a baby:
• A baby falls down, & gets up again, always trying to walk – the baby is always trying, trying, trying …
• What about an adult? – depends on who it is, some never stand up, some try a few times, but some just keep trying, like Forrest Gump
• Why is this so? Is it arrogance? Is it complacence? Is it weakness? Is it social stigma?: if it is so, all the more reason to stand & try again; history has taught us those who sit would never get the chance to escape failures or reach success
• Statistically, failures >> successes always, provided that the objective scope is very narrow; thus people tend to see success as outstanding, but the truth is what is outstanding can also be a failure
• Our perception & stigma towards failures & emphasis on success have to be changed, reduced & managed appropriately
• In addition, being with supportive people, a conducive environment & chance luck do help
• Persevere humorously, lift yourself up, keep on trying, there is in fact nothing to push you down but only virtual perception

How to manage effort?

• Shattering the deceit of success & appreciating the art of failure, effort must be put in
• To ensure the right effort, note the following:

1. Conducive perception
2. Ability to expend the effort
3. Technique of using effort – when & how to use ( & not use) the right amount of effort
4. Effort for pushing the goal, recovering from failures & also, expanding the scope for success & narrowing that for failure