4/25/04: So this story arc seems to be ending. Enjoy Battle 40 below.
Next agenda: A new plot?!
~Ditto
Fanfics
Tournaments
Other
Location: Some Field (West of Prontera)
Player: Ditto [12-5-7]
Okay, I think with those encounters I can safely assume that this isn't anywhere near where we started. And with this assumption, I can also say that I'm NOT GETTING THOSE OTHER STUPID BADGES ANYTIME SOON.
Uhh... Narrator? Red Guy? Mister?!
WAKE UP!
NARRATOR has been fully AWAKE for the past five HOURS!
Then why weren't you saying anything?!
NARRATOR still has a WEAKNESS to the CALL of NATURE!
Rocks can use telephones now?
NARRATOR would like a ROCK!
Err, why?
Because said ROCK would be less DENSE than YOU!
So only non-dense rocks can use telephones?
POINT flies off and hits JUPITER!
Now you're just being confusing with your puns!
DITTO is confused!
Wait, NO!
DITTO hurts itself in its confusion!
I hate youuu......
DITTO faints!
--Two hours later--
DITTO wakes up!
Ugh... stop doing that!
UGH is not HERE!
Alright, whatever. Another pun, so clever! Think you'll be able to help me out a bit here by possibly NOT making a pun?
MILKTANK appears!
...Strawberry Moo Cow is back! Yay!
But... it's not very helpful, is it?
SKYLER appears!
That's even LESS helpful.
SKYLER: Screw you too.
FUZZY appears!
Are you trying to make me mad?
MAYOR appears!
[Mayor] HELLO!
Alright, you're just mocking me now.
MILKTANK begins to eat nearby GRASS!
GIANT BLADE OF GRASS is enraged!
Now you're just getting POINTLESS.
GIANT BLADE OF GRASS has a--
POINT, I KNOW, NOW SHUT UP.
GIANT MECHA ARMY appears!
We did that in the last group of battles and they STILL AREN'T HELPFUL!
SN appears!
Err, we just don't need him PERIOD.
Other random and generic CHARACTERS appear!
...You know what, I give up. I just freaking give up. I'm going on vacation now.
DITTO..leaves?
DITTO has to come BACK!
...Please?
HELLO? ... ... ... ...
[Mayor] Let us commence with the holiday festivites!
NARRATOR agrees!
MECHA GROUP: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU<
SKYLER: Happy birthday to j0~
GIANT MECHA IV: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU WHICH IS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH LIKE A GROUP OF STONES CAN REPRESENT YOUR BIRTHDAY LIKE THEY CAN ALSO REPRESENT OTHER THINGS LIKE HOW PICTURES REPRESENT STUFF AS THEY ARE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS WHICH IS LESS THAN A NOVEL CAN HAVE WHICH IS A LARGER TYPE OF BOOK BUT DOES NOT H--
CUTEPUFF: Cute sentence! ^_^
GIANT MECHA IV: YOUR INTERRUPTION MAKES ME EXTREMELY UNLOVED IN THIS SOCIETY SO I CRY ON TO THIS CORNER.
[Mayor] Do not stray outside of the concerns of this important occasion!
SKYLER: Erm, what are we celebrating again?
[Mayor] ...
MECHA GROUP: >>>
GBOG: ...
CUTEPUFF: ^_^
KOFFING: JAVAAAAAAAAA.
[Mayor] Then let us continue with the celebration of JAVAAAAAAAAA!
CELEBRATION continues through the SUNSET!
FUZZY and MILKTANK begin their holy CRUSADE to the SUNSET!
SKYLER: ...no torture? Sweet Jesus on a sti--
JUPITER falls on SKYLER!
[Mayor] I CANNOT COMPREHEND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE BEINGS!
SKYLER: I'm going to GET YOU FOR THIS DITT--
PORING loots SKYLER!
LOCATION: Secret Base
Mysterious Voice 1: So..uh..does this mean we're done now?
Mysterious Voice 2: I'd assume so.
Mysterious Voice 1: Then go get me some Pepsi before this ends!
Mysterious Voice 2: I think we're out, sir.
Mysterious Voice 1: You let that idiot DOGS get to my Pepsi stash again?!
Mysterious Voice 2: Those four people took it all when they were here.
Mysterious Voice 1: Then... where's DOGS...?
DOGS appears!
Mysterious Voice 1: I shouldn't have asked...
DOGS: GENTLEMEN BEHOLD! CORN!
Mysterious Voice 2: Why do we need corn? Though, I am kinda hungry...
DOGS: ALL YOUR CORN ARE BELONG TO YOU!
CORN flies into MYSTERIOUS VOICE 2's CHEST!
CORN begins to mate with MYSTERIOUS VOICE 2!
Mysterious Voice 1: QUIT ****ING AROUND AND GET ME SOME PEPSI!
~~End?~~
Gentlemen, BEHOLD! Comments!
Home of Grape Jello everywhere!
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Almost all Lavender characters in battles are listed here. Included is a colored system so you know what character is what, yay!
Lavender-colored names indicate a normal character in the version that has none of the following conditions.
White indicates a missing character, or basically, a character probably not coming back.
Gray indicates a dead character. It's gone forever, yaay.
Light-green indicates that character is stuck on Eevee Island. Goody.
Aqua indicates a gym leader of the Pokemon variety.
Red indicates a character that was a crossover from another version, whether it's dead or alive today.
Brown indicates a character that I hated and sent to another version.
Bike: 0-1-0; 5
Burning Pile of Wood: 1-0-0; 37
Cashier: 2-0-0; 2, 12
Crono: 1-0-0; 21
Cutepuff: 8-0-2; 2, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 28
Ditto: 13-5-7; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40
Doompuff: 0-1-1; 8, 13
Erika: 0-1-0; 11
FATE: 0-1-0; 25
Fuzzy: 2-0-0; 17, 33
Ganon: 0-1-0; 24
Geodude: 0-0-1; 32
Giant Blade of Grass: 0-4-0; 3, 16, 18, 19
Giant Mecha #1: 0-1-0; 31
Giant Mecha 2.0: 0-0-1; 32
Giant Mecha Gamma: 1-0-0; 33
Giant Mecha IV: 0-1-0; 34
Giant Mecha Ultimate: 0-0-1; 35
Greiver: 0-1-0; 23
Jenova: 0-1-0; 22
Kit: 5-0-0; 7, 9, 10, 19, 28
Koffing: 4-1-0; 6, 9, 10, 27, 28
Koga: 0-1-0; 4
Lavos: 0-1-0; 21
Magus: 0-1-0; 21
Majora's Mask: 0-1-0; 24
Milktank: 1-2-0; 1, 12
Myself: 0-1-0; 22
Penguin: 0-1-0; 37
Poring: 1-0-0; 38
Raidude: 3-0-1; 16, 19, 20, 28
Robby: 0-0-1; 36
Salesman Army: 1-2-2; 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Sephiroth: 0-1-0; 22
Skyler: 2-3-2; 17, 19, 20, 26, 28, 29, 30
Shinra Employee: 0-1-0; 7
Squarepuff: 0-0-1; 13
Swordsman: 0-1-0; 39
TimeDevourer: 0-1-0; 25
Ultimecia: 0-1-0; 23
Weezing: 3-1-0; 6, 9, 10, 28
Location: Prontera City
Player: Ditto [11-5-7]
QUARTER rolls into PRONTERA!
This quarter will be claimed for me this time, and there will be no dispute as to whether or not it shall or shall not be the legal property of me!
...?
I AM GOING TO GET THIS DAMN QUARTER OR I AM GOING TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT.
NARRATOR does not own any EYEBALLS!
...Oh. Well...how about a tongue?
NARRATOR has no TONGUE!
Ankles?
NARRATOR has no ANKLES!
Brain?
NARRATOR has no BRA--
NARRATOR goes to cry in a CORNER!
..Right. Since we're done with that, what's next on the agenda?
A BATTLE!
Can't we do that later?
We COULD, but enemy RED-HAIRED SWORDSMAN would not be happy!
SWORDSMAN: hi
...Uh, right.
SWORDSMAN: u lvl??
...
SWORDSMAN: wtf newb
SWORDSMAN wants to fight!
Fine, it's your funeral.
SWORDSMAN: lol
SWORDSMAN uses TAUNT!
DITTO's special attacks have been nullified!
You are going to be DEAD! POUND!
DITTO uses POUND!
SWORDSMAN is sent to a DOG POUND!
SWORDSMAN is now the proud of an EMPTY DOG CAGE!
SWORDSMAN: wtf
SWORDSMAN uses CONFUSION!
SWORDSMAN is confused!
SWORDSMAN: wtf
SWORDSMAN: wtf
SWORDSMAN: wtff
SWORDSMAN uses TORMENT!
DITTO is TORMENTed by SWORDSMAN's wtfs!
Enough of this! I'll use pound again!
DITTO uses POUND!
A POUND of money is transferred to MATT's LAPTOP FUND!
Nall: n.n
This seems hopeless...
SWORDSMAN is confused!
SWORDSMAN hurt himself in his confusion!
There is a SWORD impaled in the MAN!
SWORDSMAN: hahahaha!!!11
SWORDSMAN faints!
That..was sorta easy. Can we do something else now?
NARRATOR says to do a BATTLE!
I just did that, though!
But nearby SPIKY-HAIRED NOVICE would be unloved!
NOVICE: hi
GO AWAY.
NOVICE: u thai
NO, NOW GO AWAY.
NOVICE: heal plz
NOVICE: heal plz
NOVICE: heal plz
NOVICE: heal plz
Hey NARRATOR, I give up with the quarter. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No escape!
You'll make me escape or I'll make you work for McDonald's!
NARRATOR considers this for a MINUTE!
...
LOCATION: Narrator's Thoughts (At McDonald's)
Wild CUSTOMER would like to ORDER!
CUSTOMER: Uhh, yeah. I'll take a big mac, a coke...and...a large fry.
Enemy FRIES would like to be SUPERSIZED!
CUSTOMER: No thanks.
Enemy FRIES wants to attack!
CUSTOMER: Dude, you suck. I'm outta here.
Wild CUSTOMER escapes!
MANAGER: I've seen better employees come from N-Gage's headquarters! You're FIRED!
NARRATOR is FIRED!
The FLAMES are very hot! It's super effective!
LOCATION: Prontera
NARRATOR is quite curious of the aspect of a new JOB OPPORTUNITY, but feels insecure of the THOUGHT of switching his PROFESSION to a less demanding JOB!
Because you'd suck at it?
No, NARRATOR would blaze the COMPETITION with STYLE!
I see! Now, I'd like to escape, however!
DITTO escapes with extremely good LUCK on his SIDE!
Pfft, fine, fine..
-Five Minutes Later...-
NOVICE: 555 kuy
Nearby SATELLITE DISH conveniently falls on NOVICE's HEAD!
NOVICE faints!
...DITTO wins?
This battle's commentary now contains ALL white meat! Whoo!
Location: The Sky
Player: Ditto [11-3-9]
DITTO floats along in the SKY!
You know, I hear the ground would be a nice place to safety warp to this time of year.
NARRATOR thinks the GROUND is overrated!
Overrated things tend to have more people to annoy, though!
...DITTO warps to the GROUND!
Yeah, I thought so.
Where are we this time...?
Location: Prontera Field (prt_fild08)
That was very specific, but I still don't know where this is.
It's a FIELD!
I KNOW THAT.
DITTO has gained five intelligence points!
NARRATOR has gained five dollar reduction in paycheck points!
Err... DITTO is quite SAMRT!
That's better.
Now, I think it'd be helpful if there was something around here that'd help me figure out where I am...
There is a CITY to the NORTH!
You could've said that earlier.
NARRATOR was too busy staring at the BUNNY behind you!
Bunny?
The BUNNY bouncing around and healing itself somehow!
Ohhh, I thought that was just a figment of your imagination.
Don't you mean a figment of YOUR IMAGINATION?
That's what I said!
NARRATOR believes that DITTO said it was a figment o--
NARRATOR does not like DITTO very much anymore!
Doesn't seem like much of a change to me.
NARRATOR will make DITTO very upset!
Oh no, what will you do? MAKE THE BUNNY FIGHT ME?! How scary!
...
Wild LUNATIC wants to fight!
Lunatic? Where'd the bunny go then?
LUNATIC is the BUNNY!
That's a weird name for a bunny.
LUNATIC uses POINK NOISE!
DITTO takes three damage!
?BAD BUNNY. TASTE MY WRATH.
LUNATIC chews on DITTO's WRATH!
THAT DOES IT. I WILL MA--
[GOD-POING] Dear all user
...what the...?
LUNATIC continues to hurt DITTO!
[GOD-POING] We like to announce that a event of magnitude proportions
[GOD-POING] will be done using the field of South Prontera.
[GOD-POING] It will happen in three seconds.
And I should care why...?
Three SECONDS occur!
...
Nothing happens!
It's probably somewhere else then, duhh.
LUNATIC continues poinking DITTO!
DITTO is in critical condition!
That does it! DIE!
DITTO grabs a SWORD (a STICK nearby renamed to SWORD!) and attacks wild LUNATIC!
LUNATIC squeaks and falls to the GROUND and vanishes!
[Deb] fjkdlsafjljkfda;sljk :<<<<
...That worked...sorta.
DITTO receives CLOVER and FEATHER!
Yay, useless items for useless purposes!
[GOD-POING] We apologise for the delay
[GOD-POING] The event is starting currently so enjoy to heart content!
And I still don't care!
BAPHOMET appears!
MAYA appears!
STORMY KNIGHT appears!
SAMURAI appears!
MISTRESS appears!
MOONLIGHT FLOWER appears!
ORC HERO appears!
ORC LORD appears!
EDDGA appears!
GARM appears!
MUTANT DRAGON appears!
WERE WOLF appears!
GOLDEN BUG appears!
OSIRIS appears!
PHARAOH appears!
AMON RA appears!
DARK LORD appears!
DRACULA appears!
DOPPELGANGER appears!
DRAKE appears!
LORD OF DEATH appears!
CHIMERA appears!
GRYPHON appears!
TURTLE GENERAL appears!
PHREEONI appears!
ZOMBIE DRAGON appears!
Horde of DEVIRUCHIS appear!
PORING appears!
[Poring] :3
...Well this doesn't seem very good.
At least the Poring doesn't seem very tough.
PORING attacks DITTO!
It's super effective!
AGHH.
DITTO faints!
PORING wins!
Mass monster ARMY wanders around aimlessly!
BATTLE ends quite anticlimatically!
**One hour later**
DITTO reawakes!
...heyyyy, you said samrt earlier, not smart!
DITTO's BRAIN seems to be in effect for ONCE!
My BRAIN also tells me that I'm sending you to Robby.
NARRATOR gives DITTO a large box of CANDY!
I could just send you after I finish this candy then...
QUARTER rolls past DITTO!
...Quarter!
DITTO chases after the QUARTER!
...
...
...
NARRATOR begins to devour the CANDY!
Filler battles are quite rude, but they want commented on anyways.
Location: Kanto Region
Player: Ditto [11-3-8]
The conquest is soon at hand! Soon, we shall have taken over every location that has a quarter in it! Then, we must take the grab the quarter (making sure it's shiny, of course), hold it in the air, and reign supreme as the lord of all quarters! We will then let the citizens reclaim the area while we are busy chasing the quarter throughout the lands! ARE YOU WITH ME!?
Ally CHAIR stares blankly at you!
I need to find new helpers...
Ally CHAIR is enraged!
Ally CHAIR is renamed to Enemy CHAIR!
Enemy CHAIR wants to fight!
You're not worthy of fighting me! You're FIRED!
Enemy CHAIR is set on FIRE!
Enemy CHAIR is renamed to BURNING PILE OF WOOD!
Well, that's..convenient.
Anyways, ONWARDS!
DITTO begins to conquest!
Conquest all day long~
Conquest into the long night~
Conquest everywhere! (Webmaster's note: Not responsible for bad haikus.)
...waiiit.
DITTO stops conquesting!
...where am I conquesting to?
...
It is unwise to conquest to an area of conquesting if you do not first conquest your plan of conquesting!
...what?
I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I SHOULD GO.
Ohh!
But NARRATOR does not feel like giving SUGGESTIONS!
You're no help at all!
NARRATOR is only here to HINDER, not HELP!
Then how do I win my battles sometimes?
DO NOT QUESTION NARRATOR.
Fine, fine...
But you do realize if I don't have anywhere to go, you have nothing else to torture!
...
SIGN appears!
Yeah, reeeaally convenient timing.
NARRATOR did NOTHING!
You told me the sign appeared though!
LIGHTNING strikes DITTO!
OWW.. HEY.
No questioning NARRATOR!
You have no sense of humor.
NARRATOR has plenty of SENSES!
Such as...
NARRATOR can see dumb PEOPLE!
...Yeah. Anyways, I'll read the sign now.
DITTO reads the SIGN!
SIGN says: [Harbor to East, Boat Rides available to various regions for cheap prices!
PS - Sneaking on to a boat is considered extremely rude and inconsiderate of you!]
A harbor! Maybe there's an ocean or other water source there!
NARRATOR believes there is an extremely high GUARANTEE!
What if there isn't? I bet you'd feel stupid then, huh!
NARRATOR is going to take his CHANCES!
That's your decision, then.
Onwards, conquesting to the Harbor!
DITTO begins his CONQUEST again!
Conquest, lalala~
Wild PENGUIN appears!
A penguin?
Yes!
PENGUIN: Doooooood!
Enemy PENGUIN wants to fight!
But a PENGUIN...
Are you implying an attempt to question NARRATOR again?
Err...no, not at all!
Then begin your FIGHT!
Fine, fine. I will attack the penguin with a spoon!
DITTO has no SPOON!
Fork?
No!
Enemy PENGUIN grows impatient!
There's a plant called impatient?
Enemy PENGUIN begins stabbing DITTO with KNIVES!
1 damage!
0 damage!
0 damage!
-1 damage!
0 damage!
That seemed..pointless.
Enemy PENGUIN is enraged!
Oh yeah? Me, use throw! I'll throw him far away so he can't get me!
DITTO uses THROW!
DITTO throws enemy PENGUIN five inches in front of him!
That's not good.
Enemy PENGUIN explodes!
ACKK!
DITTO flies far into the SKY!
Looks like Team Eskimo is blasting off a--
NARRATOR uses LIGHTNING on DITTO!
QUIT THATTTTttt...
DITTO flies far away!
BURNING PILE OF WOOD reappears!
BURNING PILE OF WOOD claims the win!
Main battle ends in a DRAW!
NARRATOR will not draw you a PICTURE! GO AWAY!
Comments make me a happy llama. COMMENT OR I BEGIN RECITING A HAIKU I MADE.
Location: Outside Unknown Cave
Player: Ditto [10/3/7]
Quarter quarter quarter...
CAVE appears!
Caveter?
..yes?
WOOHOO!
DITTO runs in!
Location: Inside Unknown Cave
Why is a cave here?
CAVE is here because of MILLIONS of YEARS of EROSION and other natural CAUSES that made an OPENING in the MOUNTAIN created!
...What?
CAVE is here because it's HERE!
..Oh. Okay then.
CAVE is dark!
I cannot see in dark places! I shall need light!
CLAP ON! *Clap clap*
LIGHTS..turn on?
Yay! . . . OOOOO
DITTO can see thousands of QUARTERS!
SO HAPPY YAY.
DITTO goes into JELLO-SHOCK!
Quarter quarter quarter...
**One day later**
Quarter quarter quarter...
QUARTERS disappear!
NOOO! Why'd you do that!?
NARRATOR does not want to hear you say QUARTERS over and over for another DAY!
So I can start again tomorrow?
THAT is not what NARRATOR meant!
...
...Well?
QUARTER!
...
QUARTER wants to fi--
QUIT DOING THAT TO THE ENE--
NOW THAT IS JUST SICK.
What? I was only picking it up.
...Oh, er, yeah.
QUARTER is enraged!
QUARTER uses QUARTER POUNDER!
Eep?
CHOOSE your PUN!
A: HAMBURGERS rain from the SKY!
B: A pound of QUARTERS appear!
C: QUARTER pounds DITTO into the GROUND!
Is there a D?
NO!
E?
No!
F?
...
G?
Shut UP!
How about an H? There has to be an H, otherwise this gameshow sucks.
THIS IS NOT A GAMESHOW!
I'm never listening to British Ghosts again then. Hmph.
QUARTER is getting angry!
QUARTER!
DITTO licks QUARTER!
Tastes like chocolate. *Drools*
QUARTER: Nooo! You found my identity!
You are a quarter!
QUARTER: Wrong!
QUARTER uses REVEAL!
QUARTER is actually...
To be conti--
DITTO chews on TEXT!
Minty.
QUARTER is actually CHOCOLATE QUARTER!
Thank you, oh great master of the obvious.
CHOCOQUARTER: You still thought I was a normal quarter though!
Yes, but I never said that I knew obvious stuff.
CHOCOQUARTER: ..Point.
CHOCOQUARTER: Now, let's begin our battle that I shall be victori--QUIT EATING MY BOTTOM!
Oops, sorry.
CHOCOQUARTER: Grr..
CHOCOQUARTER wants to fight!
I shall defeat thee!
DITTO wants to battle!
CHOCOQUARTER: I shall defeat you..IN A GAME OF CARDS!
CHOCOQUARTER gets out DECK!
Okay!
DITTO gets out DECK!
CHOCOQUARTER draws 5 cards!
Only 5? Okay then, I shall play by your mystical, chocolaty rules!
DITTO draws 5 cards!
CHOCOQUARTER: For my first move, I'll put this out in defense mode!
..er?
CHOCOQUARTER sends out BABY DRAGON!
That is a weird card! Are you using Japanese ones?
CHOCOQUARTER puts another card face-down beside the DRAGON, sideways!
You have weird rules. But I shall still be victorious!
CHOCOQUARTER: Your move.
Yay!
DITTO draws a CARD!
First, I'll put out an island...
DITTO places an ISLAND down!
CHOCOQUARTER: .....
Next, I'll bring out THIS!
DITTO plays BLACK LOTUS!
CHOCOQUARTER: You fell for my trap!
CHOCOQUARTER flips over his card!
CARD is actually TIME WIZARD OF THE COAST!
..UM?
CHOCOQUARTER: TWotC, BAN!
TIME WIZARD OF THE COAST uses BAN!
BLACK LOTUS is BANNED!
That does it!!
DITTO gathers energy...
CHOCOQUARTER: ..eep?
ENERGY has been fully gathered!
I shall now use my ultimate attack on you!!
I...
USE...
...
...
...
CHOCOQUARTER: ...
PIE!
..PIE?
PIE!
DITTO uses PIE!
Thousands of PIES rain onto CHOCOQUARTER!
NARRATOR does not know if this is scary in DITTO standards or if this is FUNNY!
ROBBYMVB: It's not scary because Ditto is always so repetitive and monotonous with his overused cliches. And it's not funny because, well, it's not. :o
NO ONE INVITED YOU HERE. GO AWAY.
ROBBYMVB: Hmph. Fine.
ROBBYMVB: And if you're interested, you should check out Brea--
ROBBY explodes!
zzz..
Where did we leave off..
When you were about to announce me the winner.
Oh, that's right.
DITTO wins!
Yay!
...HEYY...
Too late, you already said I won.
...Bah.
DITTO runs off to continue his quest to be the QUARTER MASTER!
NARRATOR still does not know if he should be disturbed or confused!
ROBBYMVB: Actuall--
ROBBY dies!
ROBBY dies again!
And again!
ROBBYMVB: I'm still here since I didn't faint.
..oh, right.
ROBBY faints!
Taste the Comments.