Notes:
Well, here it is! After hours upon hours of Evanescence, Linkin' Park and Enya, three police-procedural novels (and not to mention several cans of coke) I give you chapter 3!

Liberties were taken with Fletcher's character... and Moody's character... and... aw, heck, everybody's character. This is fifth year AU, after all. **shrug** So anyway, Fletcher's an Auror and he's lost his Hagrid-esque accent. I've tried to keep his personality though.

Chapter 3: Key

Yami stalked through Knockturn Alley like a man on a mission... a highly pissed, I've-had-a-bad-day-DON'T-look-at-me-cross-eyed-or-I'll-carve-your-heart-out-with-a-dull-spoon-and-make-you-like-it man on a mission.

Seto would have been proud.

Wearing his patented black leathers and the usual silver accessories that went with it, he was careful to keep his hood up and his face shadowed, assessing his surroundings through narrowed crimson eyes. Overall, the effect of his attire and his attitude was suitably intimidating, as was befitting of a Master of Shadow. Never once did he waver from his course, sparing only mere fractions of an instant to glare darkly at any unfortunate who happened to obstruct his path, confident that whoever it was, they'd leap out of his way in a damned hurry. And leap they did.

They couldn't stop him from reaching his goal. He was the King of Games. One who had once ruled Egypt so long ago and saved the world so many times over.

In fact...!

Yami had absolutely no clue where he was going.

/Ne... I think we've passed that store before, partner.../ Yugi commented lightly from his soul room, looking vaguely amused as his other let out a growl that sent a couple of pedestrians scurrying. Scum of the wizarding world or not, they weren't immune to his yami in a bad mood.

//So we have,// the spirit bit out, trying but not altogether succeeding in his attempt to sound calm and collected.

Yugi chuckled. They'd left their room at Leaky Cauldron as soon as dusk set in, searching for any clues as to who, specifically, might have orchestrated the attack on Diagon Alley. For the last few days, Yugi's time had alternated between helping Jon at the Flourish and playing detective in the various hidey-holes of London's magical community. So far, still no luck. /Daijoubou, Yami-kun. Maybe we'll find something helpful, one of these rounds,/ he placated, sending a wave of reassurance through their link.

The Egyptian paused mid-step for a second, tense, and then relaxed as he continued his stride. //I suppose,// he brooded.

/I had hoped it'd be a little easier to find some info on the attack though,/ Yugi yawned. /We've been here for hours!/

Yami readjusted his cloak. The temperature was dropping as the night wore on. //If every guilty man was to confess willingly, I would have been a very busy pharaoh,// Yami mused. His hikari snorted. //We may fit in well enough but we're still a foreign presence here.// He took in his surroundings. //These people do not trust easily and information, no matter what the millennia, is valuable. It will not come cheap.//

Yugi sighed. /When does it ever.../ Yugi stood and nudged a couple of toys out of his way as he dusted himself off. His soul room had grown less cluttered as the years wore on, mainly because a number of the toys that once liberally decorated the floor had disappeared. Not entirely, though, like that sandbox set, complete with mini-shovel, rake, shift and bucket that he just couldn't seem to will away... and somehow he had a sneaking suspicion it was Yami's fault.

/You want me to take over for a while, Yami? You've been walking for hours./

//Just a while more, aibou. I'm not about to let you loose in Knockturn Alley.//

Yugi snorted. /I'm not a kid anymore, you know./

//Oh, I know,// Yami snickered, //I take permanent residence in your head, and no child would be entertaining thoughts like yours when confronted with a rather... well-endowed and overly enthusiastic waitress. What was her name? Candy?//

/Sch!/

The spirit chuckled as his other spluttered indignantly. No matter what aura he had been able to exude in his youth, Yugi worldlier and most thought. Jou knew, at least, since he'd been the one to provide his little buddy with most of the... er, sex ed. tapes. Anzu had given them the silent treatment for a week when she finally found out. Yami suppressed a wince. Whoever said silence was deafening had the right idea.

Yami raised his head fractionally as he became aware of someone approaching.

"I don't normally give free advice," a voice cut in, "But might I suggest you leave?"

Tilting his head slightly, Yami faced a tall, foreboding man, standing at least a head and shoulder above him.

"You're being followed," the stranger noted coldly, falling into step beside him. "And while I have no particular interest in you, I'd rather not see your entrails pickled in a jar somewhere... possibly meeting a rather sticky end in one of my potions?" The man shrugged, his greasy black hair hanging limply around his shoulders.

"Would that bother you?" the spirit queried.

The man glared down at him over a hooked nose. "Nothing quite vexes me like faulty potions ingredients," he answered flatly.

Yami quirked an eyebrow and his lips twitched. Touch�. Gathering his will, he sent a wave of shadow magic pulsing around him like a radar and detected five men about two blocks back, radiating malice. "So I am," the spirit responded calmly, his voice accented. "Why warn me? Frankly, you don't seem like the type to bother... faulty potions aside."

"You're a fool for coming here," the man said instead, bouncing over his question.

Yami actually smiled this time, although it wasn't a friendly smile by any means. "Indeed?"

"Little boys shouldn't play with things they don't understand."

Yami's eyebrow arched even higher. Little boy?! Ra, I'm not that short!

"Since you were merely offering free advice in good faith, I'll overlook that comment," Yami replied tersely as Yugi waved frantic peace signs from his soul room. "I know how to handle myself."

"You're new, young and overly cocky. The Dark is not to be toyed with. Knockturn Alley is not a fancy field trip for over-eager pups."

Yami drew the Shadows around himself. "I know."

Snape twitched as his felt something cold brush past his senses and regarded the other man. His curled his lip at the near-palpable confidence the young man was reeking of but there was something different about the man... that was why he initiated the conversation in the first place. He wasn't... malignant in the sense that assassins and cut throats were dark... or the way the beggars and pick-pockets lived, huddled in the dark. There was an arrogance about him, similar but dissimilar to the one Lucius Malfoy liked to exude. He wasn't Light by any means... but Dark? Snape had a hard time figuring out exactly how this newcomer managed to fit into Knockturn Alley without being part of it.

Snapping back to the present, he became aware of the fact that the foreigner was studying him in return, regarding him with an annoyingly knowing expression that somehow reminded him of Dumbledore... and irked him to no end.

"You don't belong here," the potions master retorted.

"I'm not leaving quite yet," was the self-assured answer. A shrug, barely noticeable. "But thanks for the advice."

With that, the young man dropped back and slowed his pace, practically inviting the men tailing him to strike. Snape caught a determined glint in the foreigner�s intelligent eyes and suddenly realized the other's eyes were a startling red in colour.

"Maybe I'll return the favour some day," Yami muttered lowly as the potions master walked away, black robes billowing dramatically.

"I doubt it," Snape answered disdainfully, not looking back. He'd done all he could and had no intention of doing more. "I doubt we'll ever meet again."

Yami watched the man for a moment more.

/Oh, I like him./ Yugi commented absently in a distinctly un-Yugi-ish manner. /He's feisty./

Yami schooled his expression into seriousness. //You've been hanging out with Malik for far too long, aibou.//

/Can I help it if I spent years doing a dig in Egypt?/ his hikari replied innocently. /Besides, you didn't seem to mind him too much either once you got a motorbike of your own,/ Yugi reminded, grinning.

Yami shook his head resignedly, a hint of a smile on his lips. The men behind him were getting closer and he could almost taste their threat.

/Be careful.../ his hikari warned, dropping into a faint whisper in the back of his mind. /You don't want to attract too much attention./

//Trust me, aibou.//

A pulse of warmth. /Aa, I do./

Abruptly the Egyptian veered off the main street and into a more secluded alley, where he turned and waited to face his "guests". If they knew anything about the attack on Diagon Alley, it would be a welcomed break, if not, then they could be brushed off without too much trouble.

He waited until he could see the outlines of their bodies in the darkness and then, with the beginnings of a sinister smile, he let the Shadows loose.

Elsewhere...

Deep within the bowels of the Ministry of Magic's Auror HQ... or, to be more specific, within the humble, cluttered, first-floor office (conveniently positioned near a fire-escape)... someone was beginning to sport the beginnings of a killer migraine. That someone... to be more specific, was an old man with a glass eye and a wooden leg, who happened to answer to the name Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody.

Under no circumstances were you to call him "Maddy", "Eye-guy" or "The Creature from Killer Lagoon" unless you wanted your own eye gauged or your own leg hacked off at the knee.

That was why Mundungus Fletcher, the dashing, debonair risk-taker that he was, had taken to calling him...

"Uncle Al!"

"Hell's bells, Fletcher, if you call me that one more time...!" the old man let it hang, his scarred face contorted with rage.

Mundy smiled charmingly as he waltzed into the office, a rather embarrassed looking second-in-command by the name of Craig Jackson following meekly behind.

Moody gave them his patented evil-eye, which Mundy completely ignored. "This better be good Fletcher. I was just about to head home to my nice, quiet, non-obnoxious house and my nice, quiet, non-obnoxious bed."

"Sleeping alone again, Uncle Al?" Mundy queried cheerfully.

The evil-eye intensified ten-fold. "That's none of your business."

"That's a 'yes'," Mundy confirmed conversationally over his shoulder to a mortified Jackson.

Moody growled. "If you're only here to take stabs at my love life, then get the hell out of my office, boy."

"Well no, of course not," Mundy replied with a vague placating motion of his hands. "I've got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?" he asked, plopping down into a chair. As if I didn't already know.

Moody regarded him with a grim faced expression for all of ten seconds. "Get your feet off my desk... and tell me the bad news."

Mundy pouted as he swung his feet back onto the floor. "You always were such a pessimist, Uncle Al. Alright then. The bad news is we've got nothing on the Diagon Alley case..."

The was a pregnant pause, and out of the corner of his eye, Mundungus thought he saw his second-on-command edging towards the door again.

Moody leveled a look on him that was nothing short of... highly pissed. That migraine was really starting to take hold.

"What do you mean THERE'S NOTHING?!" he finally exploded, waving his arms furiously. "We've got our best teams working on that case. It's been weeks! Fletcher - Jackson - Answers - Now!"

Opposite to him, the young man took the yelling calmly as he picked at a loose thread on his robe. Behind him, the young subordinate had the grace to look sheepish.

"I mean what one usually means when 'there's nothing' is said in the English language, Uncle Al. It usually implies an absence of something-or-other, a void, an emptiness and a general lack of all that is comfy, cozy or warm."

"We couldn't find one relevant apparition trail, sir..." Jackson continued. "Or any after-spells. It's like someone came in with a giant eraser and cleared everything."

Moody bashed the end of his cane into the ground. "That's not good enough! We're under a lot of pressure here boys. If we don't find something soon, the bastards upstairs are going to start looking for scapegoats instead of criminals."

The old man heaved a breath. "...and don't call me 'Uncle Al'!"

Mundy only grinned in reply, but his eyes betrayed his seriousness.

"I know that. We're still working on it, old man. 'Round the clock."

"Maybe I could take a look?" a soft, tired voice filtered in from the back of the room, causing the youngest in the room to jump in surprise and reach for his wand. He was startled yet again when his superior reached out and grabbed his wrist, shaking his head warningly. Then he raised his head and called out.

"Hey Moony! If you keep scaring the kiddies, your reputation's never going to improve."

"You shouldn't be one to talk of reputations, Mundy," the voice rebuked and face soon attached itself to the voice when one of the shadows separated themselves from the wall and solidified to form an brown-haired man and a giant black dog.

Jackson stiffened at the sight of the dog, so reminiscent of the legendary Grim, but Fletcher merely patted his arm reassuringly.

Mundy smiled easily. "Ah, but I've worked long and hard to earn my reputation."

From the side, Moody snorted and Mundy shrugged as if to say well, it's true. Mundy Fletcher had the reputation for being a slacker and a goof who had the amazing ability to get under anyone's skin. He'd also been accused, many times, of taking less-than-legal action. Needless to stay, it was nothing short of a miracle that he was now commander of the 34th field-auror unit.

"Jackson, this Remus Lupin. Moony, this is my second-in-command, Craig Jackson."

Moony... or Lupin, smiled warmly despite the tired lines of his face. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jackson."

An indignant woof reminded them of the fifth presence in the room and Mundy guffawed. "And that's Snuffles!"

"Snuffles?" Jackson repeated incredulously, staring at the giant, intimidating form of the black dog in disbelief. That was definitely not "snuffles" material in his opinion.

"Sure," Mundy confirmed cheekily. "He also answers to 'Mutt', but don't call him 'Bitch' or he'll bite." Fletcher knew, of course, that the dog was in fact his old pal, Sirius Black, Harry's godfather and Azkaban escapee... which just made it all the more fun. Dogs don't back-talk, after all, and Siri's bark was worse than his bite.

"Uh..." Jackson looked worriedly at the now growling dog and decided "Snuffles" was a safe name after all.

Lupin chuckled quietly, earning a murderous glare from the dog in question. "I'll go ask around and see if I can find anything for you, Moody, Mundy... Jackson," he nodded, and then moved towards the door. "... ... ... C'mon Mutt."

"GGGGgggggrrooooowwwlll!"

Fletcher howled with laughter, sounding rather dog-like himself, and left his poor subordinate looking utterly bemused.

Moody shut the door after the pair and turned his eyes back on the two aurors. "Fletcher, shut up."

The laughter died into snickers.

Moody surveyed the two and sighed exasperatedly. "Now," he spat, poking at Mundy with the hard rubber end of his cane. "You said you had good news?"

Abruptly, Fletcher became deathly silent and Moody watched with increasing ire as Mundy's face went from amused to closed to sheepish.

"Er... well... yes... so I did..."

"Mundungus O'Riley Fletcher..."

"Isortalied.There'snogoodnews."

Outside, in the hall, two canine ears twitched synchronously as a "FLETCHER!!" was immediately followed by an extremely loud BOOM!!

Anyone who noticed had to wonder why the big black dog suddenly sported a very satisfied doggy grin.

Knockturn Alley

The five thugs never noticed when they were abruptly drawn into the Shadow Realm, an inky mist curling lazily around their legs. They were much more attuned to the modern magic of the time and as they say, ignorance is bliss.

Yami waited patiently as they approached, arms crossed in casual defiance. He spoke once their faces were in clear view.

"You've been following me," he said smoothly, "Why?"

If the five were at all bothered by their prey's nonchalance, they didn't show it. "We were hungry," one shrugged. "Care to provide us with a meal?" He waved demonstratively.

Yami followed their gaze and stared in surprise at his Puzzle.

Gold.

It clicked. They were merely after valuables.

So, they're nothing but common thugs after all. He sighed a bit in disappointment. He had really hoped to catch a break in his investigation. Figures it wouldn't be that easy.

He let his hold on his Shadow Realm fade and relaxed fractionally, the thugs none the wiser of the black fate they so narrowly missed.

Common thugs deserved a common fate.

"I'm afraid I'm not willing to share," the spirit told them, reaching both hands discretely into his cloak.

"Too bad, git, you don't have a choice," they told him, sneering and snickering confidently. "Whadda ya gonna do, huh? They're five of us and only one of you."

Yami smiled coldly. "You can count. I'm impressed."

/I'm not,/ Yugi commented poutishly in an attempt to alleviate some tension. /I'm feeling seriously unloved here./

//Daijoubou. It's not their fault they can't see you,// Yami sent jokingly as he crouched into a defensive position.

Yugi sighed melodramatically and then withdrew again as he noticed the thugs approaching. His yami didn't need any distractions during a fight. /Be careful... and don't hurt them too much./

//Aa.//

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" the cry echoed in the alley and Yami snapped to attention. Out of the folds of his cloak he pulled out two kogatana, Japanese short swords, and met the raised knife of his opponent with a near-casual swing. He would have much preferred a more familiar scimitar, but those were big and wieldy, more of a disadvantage to his slim stature than a help. With short swords, his movements weren't quite so limited and he was free to duck, roll and dodge much faster than he could have with a bigger weapon in hand.

As for the kogatana themselves (Yami made a face) those were given by (surprise of all surprises) Yami Bakura, the uncontested blade-master in Yugi's little group of friends. The advice about maneuverability had been given by him too, much to Yami's ire, but the thief had proved correct and the ex-pharaoh was not so prideful that he wouldn't take sensible advice when it stared him in the face.

A hard whack on the wrist with the flat of his second kogatana sent his opponent's knife flying. A quick twirl and an elbow in the neck brought him down.

One down. Four to go.

"You really should reconsider your line for work," Yami retorted.

"Up yours, bastard. You're just the key we need to kick off the start of our long and happy lives," another spat, finally gaining the presence of mind to pull out his wand. "Stupidify!"

To say the thug was shocked to see his spell vanish into blackness an inch before its target would be an understatement.

"What the fu-"

And Yami was moving again. A hilt to the head. A knee in the gut. Broken noses and bruised jaws... but not one cut.

"Sh-shit..." the first one rasped as he clutched his aching throat.

Yami regarded them calculatingly. Then suddenly he smirked.

//Let's go, aibou. I think I just found our lucky break.//

/What?/

Sheathing his kogatana, he tossed a couple of galleons at his feet. "For your help," he told the thugs with a predatorially pleased expression on his face, sending chills up the thugs' spine.

/Yami? What's going on?/ Yugi demanded, confused by his other's behavior.

Turning his back to his downed opponents, Yami walked deeper into the alley, searching for a hidden alcove to suit his purposes.

//One of them said that we were 'the key to the start of long and happy lives'...//

/Yeah, I heard,/ Yugi confirmed exasperated. /So?/

//So we've been looking in the wrong place for our key.//

So saying the Egyptian ducked around a corner and concentrated. Within the palm of his hand, a small portal of shadow magic formed, and something small and silver glittered, twinkling with flashes of green.

In his soul room Yugi's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead. //The portkey the girl found!/

//Aa...//

The hunt was on again.

Hophin Crowne, Minister of Justice, growled as he stomped into his house. He was a distinguished looking man, with a tall, unbent stature, hair just beginning to grey at his sides, but at the moment his demeanor made him look less than civilized.

"Pini!" he roared as he loosened the stiff collar of his shirt, "Pini, where are you, you useless house-elf? Pini?!"

There was no answer. His house remained dark.

He stomped furiously into his study. "Bloody-" Abruptly, he came to a stop. Partially lit under the moonlight from his tall, French windows were two figures sitting comfortably at his desk.

Someone was in his house.

His eyes narrowed as his fingered the wand in his pocket. Pini, you worthless little maggot, when I get my hands on you-!

One figure was small and slender, his hands flickering deftly as he cut a deck of cards with practiced grace. Once, twice, and again, the cards flowing in his hands like water. He seemed to be entirely at ease with his surroundings, not even bothering to raise his head when Hophin entered the room. Hophin caught a flash of crimson and gold as the figure finally selected a card and slid it facedown across the desk.

The second figure was enormous by comparison, but in a way that showed that he was disgustingly overweight. He fidgeted almost constantly, his bloated body jiggling with every small movement, and he made the small, gleeful slurping snorts as if he were enjoying a joke only he could understand. He, unlike his companion, was concealed entirely in shadow and Hophin couldn't make out any distinguishing features at all, only a sheen of sweat on rubbery skin.

"Have a seat, Mr. Crowne. It is Mr. Crowne, isn't it?" the smaller figure asked coolly in a deep voice that belied his frame.

Hophin narrowed his eyes. This was obviously a stranger. He spoke with an accent Hophin couldn't quite recognize, but it sounded Asian. In a flash, he had his wand pointed threateningly at the smaller figure, lips curled in utmost annoyance. "What are you doing in my house?" he demanded in a clipped tone.

"Looking for answers," the figure shrugged casually, languishing in his purloined armchair.

Hophin's eyes narrowed. "Answers? This is breaking and entering. Who do you think you are!? Do you know who I am?" He cut himself off when he noticed the figure chuckling. The stranger tossed something small and gleaming in Hophin's direction and he caught it instinctively.

It was a small silver snake broach. One of many small silver snake broaches that had been planted in Diagon Alley on the possibility that they might need hostages.

Hophin's blood ran cold.

"I was given a key," the stranger smiled in his deep, hypnotic rumble. "Let me tell you a story, Mr. Crowne. A week ago, Diagon Alley was subject to an apparent Death Eater attack. Fifteen people died under Dark Marks. The Ministry blatantly rejects any possibility of Death Eater activity, but over seven days later, they're still drawing blanks in their investigation-"

"Wrong," Hophin interjected, trying to regain control of the conversation. "The Ministry has found one of the perpetrators."

An arch of an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Hophin shook himself and scowled. "That's none of your business!" The man turned sharply.

Yami pressed his lips into a thin line, listening with one ear as the man yelled for his house-elf.

"The way I see it, Mr. Crowne, either the attackers are really good at covering their tracks, or someone relatively high up in the Ministry is covering tracks for them." So saying, he tossed a folder to the floor, spilling papers at Hophin's feet. "It seems you've been a busy, busy man, Mr. Crowne..."

From the folder spilled floor plans... Schedules. Maps. Marked maps. Of Diagon Alley. If Hophin was shocked at the fact that this man had found his carefully hidden documents when the Aurors had not, he didn't show it.

Peering into the darkness at the stranger's face, he glowered. "What are you implying?" he hissed, knuckles whitening around his wand.

The figure slid his deck into his robes and knit his fingers together, elbows on the desk. His infallible composure was starting to irk the distinguished Minister of Justice. "Only that you seem to be a man of opportunity... one with connections. I need answers. You're my best lead. I'm sure we can figure something out."

Hophin's lip curled. "Are you talking blackmail? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into!"

"No, not blackmail."

For the first time, the figure turned fully, and Hophin's breath caught. The intruder was exotically handsome, his dusky skin smooth and flawless in the moonlight, his face framed by golden bangs. But there was a harshness to this stranger that set him on edge. He shuddered instinctively. It was the crimson eyes. His Lord had red eyes too, but where his master's eyes were infinitely cold, the stranger's eyes were smouldering and furious. Condemning.

"What do you want?"

"I told you," the figure replied, voice low and silky smooth. "Answers." The temperature seemed to plunge suddenly and the room darkened almost imperceptibly. At his feet, Hophin thought he could see wisps of unnatural purple mist nipping at his heels. Was it his imagination?

The second figure giggled hysterically and Hophin snapped out of his fear-induced trance, bringing his wand up. No little upstart was going to get the best of him!

"Incendio!" he yelled vengefully. A quick flare of fire later and the documents on the floor were nothing more than ashes. The broach dug painfully into his palm as his fists clenched. Hophin grinned in satisfaction. He had won.

But the figure merely watched dispassionately as the evidence was destroyed. "I have copies."

"You're bluffing," Hophin sneered, "And even if you do, you can't link those documents to me. There's just you and your friend. I can kill you both right here, right now and the public will be none the wiser."

The first figure cocked his head to the side inquisitively, composure completely unruffled. If anything he seemed more resolute, weighing Hophin's worth on an invisible scale. "You'd kill so leisurely? Very well then, how about this..." He gestured to the desktop. "Pick up the card I've set on the table. If it's in your favor, you can do whatever you want with us." A shrug. "If not, I'll get my answers."

Hophin's eyes flickered skeptically between the figure and the card on the desk. The man was still trying to bargain? Of all the nerve... "What's the catch?" And come to think of it, why was he even playing along?

"What are you afraid of?" the stranger countered. "It's only a card."

Hophin almost snorted at the not-answer. He was a wizard. He knew better than that. The wizarding world thrived when it came to deception.

"Come now," the figure continued to taunt quietly, smiling in amusement. "You're a man of opportunity. Take a chance."

Inexplicably, as if drawn by siren-song, Hophin approached the desk despite himself. He knew he shouldn't, that he should just hex the intruders into next week and be done with it, but those ruby red eyes unnerved him, mesmerized him and compelled him. He couldn't refuse.

His hand fell on the card and the second figure giggled again, tongue darting across white teeth. Hophin grimaced in disgust, but the red eyes were still watching him, calculating.

He picked up the card.

Don't! his mind screamed. Kill them now! Kill them kill them kill them!

Flipping, the card over, he frowned as he peered at the image in confusion. It wasn't a playing card. It wasn't like any card he'd seen before, in fact. The writing was at the bottom obviously wasn't English and the picture... The picture was of a bloated, ape-like creature with greedy black eyes and a rolling tongue set between sharp canines. An arrow-head tipped tail emerged from his rear, curling lazily in the air. It grinned demonically at him over its shoulder as its enormous figure blocked out the light it was sitting in front of.

Face contorting, Hophin waved the card around, glaring at the red-eyed man. A joke. "What the hell is this-"

A giggle... then an outright cackle.

Cold crept into his bones. Hophin took a step back as he snapped around to face the second figure, who was making an effort to stand. Leaning forward, the gluttonous mass of flesh grinned hungrily, terribly.

Belatedly, he realized he was facing something far from human. Belatedly, he raised his wand only to have it knocked out of his trembling grip.

A single card fluttered noiselessly to the ground as he screamed, lying peacefully on the carpeted floor as he thrashed in pain and horror.

Yami stood, bending gracefully as he picked up his card. Deep violet shadows curled lovingly around his body as the Egyptian spirit studied the image imprinted on the card. Amethyst crept back into his gaze, swirling with crimson as he sighed resignedly.

"This... is your Just Desserts." (1)

Nothing.

Zip.

Zilch.

Nada.

That pretty much summed up what happened in the high-ceiling study at Crowne Manor... except for the undeniable fact that something did happen, and therein laid the crux of the problem.

Mundungus Fletcher watched in morbid fascination as Hophin Crowne was carted off on a levitating stretcher. The old man's eyes were wide and blank and he was muttering under his breath, "Hn. Hn. Hungry. So hungry. Don't let it eat me. Hungry. Hn. Hungry. Hungry-"

Slowly, Mundy let out a long whistle. "Cripes, talk about scrambled. The poor chap's a few eggs short of a full basket."

"No kidding, sir. He won't respond to anything. Just keeps muttering away," someone commented and Fletcher turned to find his second-in-command, a young auror named Craig Jackson.

"Still no trace of magical residue?"

"No sir..." an almost hesitant pause. "Not in the study at least."

Immediately, Fletcher's full attention was focused on the other auror. "What?"

"The boys think they've found a portkey trail in the basement," the young man admitted. "Seems to lead to Knockturn Alley."

Fletcher snorted and shook his head. "Everything always leads to Knockturn Alley. Someone checking it out?"

"We need clearance first," Jackson said sheepishly and his superior's lips thinned as he placed his hands on his hips like a disapproving housewife.

"Bloody useless red tape. Try to do your job right and the higher-ups dump shit on you like you wouldn't believe."

"Now, now, Fletcher. Keep talking like that and you might lose your job," drawled a voice and Mundy's whirled around furiously. A mere second later, his expression was schooled into one of casual friendliness, although his eyes glinted dangerously.

"Lucius Malfoy," Mundy greeted cordially, knitting his fingers behind his head. "What are brings you here?"

The platinum-blonde flicked an imaginary piece of lint from his expensive black cloak. "I came to pay a visit to my dear friend, Mr. Crowne," Lucius smiled smoothly. "And imagine my surprise when I walked in to find the place absolutely crawling with busy little aurors."

"Oh, I'm imagining. What gave us away? The yellow tape saying 'AURORS AT WORK - DO NOT CROSS'?" Mundy said cheerfully.

Malfoy turned up his nose disdainfully. "Hardly working, I should think. You don't seem to be having much luck, gentlemen."

"Well, you know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence of it and say you tried," Mundy replied, shrugging.

Jackson watched warily as the two men played verbal dodge ball. Somehow he got the distinct impression that the last comment was directed more at Malfoy himself, rather than reflecting Fletcher's own attitude.

"Quaint," Malfoy answered coldly.

"Ain't it though?" Fletcher grinned, barring his teeth.

"Your manners need refining, Fletcher."

"I try," he answered sardonically. "Now, as you can see," Fletcher continued, jerking his thumb at the babbling form of the former Minister of Justice, "Your friend is feeling rather indisposed today. I'm afraid he's in no condition to be entertaining visitors. Feel free to call another day though!" he chirped, making shooing motions with his hands. "Now go away and let us work."

Malfoy's hands tightened around his cane. "Afraid I can't do that, Fletcher, I-"

"Boss!" an auror called excitedly. "Boss!" he called again as he came running up, a folder held carefully in his gloved hand. "You won't believe what we've found!" he crowed, waving the folder around.

"A blank cheque?" Fletcher guessed absently, reaching for the folder.

"Better, sir," the auror grinned and bequeathed the evidence: the folder contained the exact same material as the one Crowne had burned... Diagon Alley attack plans.

Fletcher's eyebrows raised as he flipped through the papers. "I'll be a monkey's uncle... Jackson, get this over to HQ, I want forensics to take a look at this-"

"Not - quite - yet, Fletcher."

This time, when Fletcher turned towards the aristocrat, no false pleasantries were exchanged. "Listen, I don't need you wasting any more of my time, Malfo-"

"Good, then you won't waste any more of mine." Reaching into his robe, the elder Malfoy pulled out a sealed scroll and waved it under Fletcher's nose. "This... episode... is now Alpha-level classified, gentlemen." A sneer. "Which means that 'evidence' isn't going anywhere but up, and neither you nor your men have any authority to breathe a word of it on pain of inquisition and suspension."

Fletcher's mouth worked soundlessly as he snatched the scroll out of Malfoy's hand and skimmed through it. The silence was soon followed by a burst of imaginative swearing.

Malfoy smirked. He never would have imagined being able to do that with a sugar quill. He readjusted his gloves. "Well, I believe that concludes my business here," he drawled smugly. "Have a good day, gentlemen," and with one last superior look, he strode out of the house and apparated away.

"Smarmy bastard! He knew all along-"

The auror swallowed. "Sir?"

Fletcher's fist clenched around the scroll. Slowly, he stared at Jackson, the other auror and then at the various frozen staff in the lobby. His lips thinned. "Bloody, effing red tape!"

TBC

(1) Just Desserts is a trap card that takes 500 points directly out of your opponent's life points for every monster your opponent has on the field. Yami Bakura used one against Yami in Duelist Kingdom. It's one of the few cards I have- **Liz's little bro stomps in, grabs his card and stomps back out** Um... yeah. Used it 'cause the name implies fairness in its punishment.

End Notes:

Liz: Hey! I only had to rewrite this twice! That's not too bad. Sorry this took a while, but I was trying to figure out a convincing way for Yami to track down the Death Eaters responsible for the attack... Then it hit me: he'd confiscated a portkey way back in chapter one. Why not make use of it instead of letting it fade into the Oblivion of Plot Holes? **grins wryly** Don't you just love it when things fall into place?

Nameless Muse: Y'know, one day this whole "winging it" thing is gonna get you in trouble.

Liz: Already did. **points forlornly to 'Is This Normal?'** I'm still trying to figure out a way to dig myself out of the the hole I made.

Nameless Muse: **flatly** ...and digging deeper every day...

Liz: Aw, shut it! **conks muse over the head**

Nameless Muse: @_@

Liz: **Stares and pokes at her unresponsive muse, mallet in hand** ...Okay, so maybe that wasn't the brightest of ideas... **glances around furtively** Anyway, looks like vengeance wasn't humorous after all. Sorry, but I'm not a genius and as far as humorous vengeance goes, my methods are far more suited to Yami Bakura than Yami Yugi. **shrugs** Yami's just so serious, what with being Pharaoh and all.

I'm gonna try to update Is This Normal? next, before I do anything else. We'll see how well that does. X_X Laterz!

Thanks to:

Angel Rosz, Anime-crazed33, anonymous, Arabella Silverbell, Autumn Ann, Cherry-San, CrazyFireKitsuneGirl, DHASN, hobbit13, Hyozanryu, Kawii Hyper Dragon, FireSenshi2, Khemetian Mirage, Lily of the Shadow, Meryaptemun, MistyStarlight, Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan, Nine Bucks, Ranma Higurashi, Rayven, Sarah, Setine, Shenya, Shinigami Caro, shitsumon, Skyla Doragono, Target Zero, Tasi-chan, The Chaotic Ones, The Helldragon, Thu6666, Tyger and Darkdracofire, Xanda, Vsakura, WhiteLightning, yugi yami, and Zetes Hikari Yuuki

Alana Hikari-Chan: Yeah, I know. **looks vaguely contrite** Murgo belongs to David Eddings, not J.K. Rowling. I spotted that error some time ago, but I'm to lazy to change just one word. o_0 Ah! Another threat for ITN... x_x **chalks another one up**

Aneko: Wow, I'm glad you like it to the point of near-speachlessness. :D Loo I updated! Hope the third chapter doesn't dissapoint.

AuroraDragonKaya: No, Yugi's not gonna learn modern magic. He's sticking strictly to shadow powers, although he will observe wizardry and maybe pick up a coupla ideas. I'll explain my theories in the actually story if opportunity knocks.

Bad Tifa: Thanks! Although I didn't exactly update "soon", did I? @_@

benign sadist: Professor Lightning? **cackles** Not a bad idea at all.

Crab Apple Fairy: If you like Bakura, read my Is This Normal? fic. Stars him exclusively. :) And no, it's not creepy at all. I've said the same many times. Can't be worse than death threats, can it?

Dragona 2007: **snickers** A thousand fiery deaths for Umbridge huh?

Gyakutenno Megami1: Okay! Lupin shall be reinstated as DADA prof and Sirius has been successfully ressurected for the purposes of my fic! :D

hoshi-tachi: I rather think I will... stick Umbridge in that is. Just not as DADA prof. **evil grin** Mind-crush victim sounds very appealing.

JK: x_x **wilts**

Maia Webmistress: **wails** I'm trying to work on ITN? really!

Melissa: Y'know, taking down Voldie's technically Harry's job, but I'll see what I an do.

MorTae: **whistles** Bakura as Divination teacher? That a good idea. I'm not sure if it'll happen, but it's definitely a good idea. Maybe he'll just sub for a day or two? I dunno... Don't worry, no negative relationship between Yami B and Ryou. I don't like they protrayal of them.

Neko-baka-chan-chan: Oh, I'm very glad, you better believe it! I've gotten enough lectures on ITN? already. x_x Glad you're likin' the story so far. Hope I didn't dissapoint with the third chapter.

Niva: Yeah, I'm really starting to think Bakura's gonna make an appearance sooner or later and I'd love to be able to work Seto in.

R: O_o Lots of thoughful questions there. How twisted am I? Not twisted enough. I'm afraid my ideas of vengence aren't nearly as creative as they could be.
I'd think that the Death Eaters focused on Hogwarts and the Death Eaters focused on attacks would be different. The ones in doing actual dirty work would be lower ranked. The people around Hogwarts would be more like Lucius Malfoy, more concerned with killing Harry Potter and gaining power than menacing the public.
Voldie might try to recruit Yugi if he ever puts two and two together but Yugi's an unknown at this point. Knowledge of people mind-crushed would be kept pretty hush-hush. The media won't get their claws into it until a bit later (maybe when the body count gets higher **smirks**)
Why did Dumbledore pick Yugi? o_0 So I'd have a plot? **sheepish grin** (Plot hole!) I'll come up with an excuse eventually... maybe... riiiight.

Riva: Passing mentions of Bakura and Malik so far.. they might show up in person later.

Shi-koi: Eep. Maybe I should've put a tissue warning? BTW what's happening to your HP/YGO cross? **waggles finger** Er... I shouldn't be waggling finers should I? For fear of fiery death � la ITN?

Shinnyu Kudzu: Look, I updated! Soon enough to avoid a beating? **cowers**

SilverLily aka Blood Moon: Oh I know you're a fan yaoi. I've read your fics. I'm particulary fond of your "Gemini". :D Keep working on it! As for my fic... I don't think there'll be any blantant yaoi. Hints of shounen-ai, maybe, if you look for it.

Tuulikki: Thanks for giving me such long-winded reviews. ;) They realy do help.

Windswift: What? You've never gotten brownie points? **showers you with points** ;) Oh, Yami was pharaoh, I'm sure he can figure out a way to deck himself with enough sparkly things to make a Christmas Tree jealous... and still look good.

I hope I got everyone. If you've been reading from my webpage and e-mailed me instead of reviewing on ff.net, you might not be here. x_x Sorry! I'm not slighting you on purpose, honest!

Thanks everyone!