Various Riddles 65
1. What do you call a travelling flea?
Ans. An itch-hiker
2. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
Ans. She ran away from the ball
3. What's the problem with twin witches?
Ans. You can never tell which witch is which!
4. How do Priests travel?
Ans. By holy-copter
5. Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose?
Ans. His powder puff is on the wrong end.
6. Is it true that bunnies have good eyesight?
Ans. Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you?
7. What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
Ans. One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
8. Why did the Easter egg hide?
Ans. He was a little chicken!
9. Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
Ans. Because he was eggo-centric!
10. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
Ans. It has four rabbits' feet
11. What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
Ans. A bunion
12. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Ans. Join the Hare Force.
13. What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
Ans. Egghead!
14. What does a bunny use when it goes swimming?
Ans. A hare-net.
15. How do you make a rabbit stew?
Ans. Make it wait for three hours!
16. What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
Ans. Cheer up!
17. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Ans. A hot cross bunny.
18. How do you post a bunny?
Ans. Hare mail
19. How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?
Ans. Hoppy Easter
20. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Ans. Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
21. Who is the Easter Bunny's favorite movie actor?
Ans. Rabbit De Niro!
22. Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
Ans. Oh, yes. He's a rabbit fan!
23. What's pink, has five toes, and is carried by the Easter Bunny?
Ans. His lucky people's foot!
24. What's long and stylish and full of cats?
Ans. The Easter Purrade!
25. What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on your head?
Ans. An Easter bunnet!
26. What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an oversterssed person?
Ans. An Easter basket case!
27. What's yellow, has long ears, and grows on trees?
Ans. The Easter Bunana!
28. Why does Peter Cottontail hop down the bunny trail?
Ans. Because his parents wouldn't let him borrow the car!
29. What's soft and white and rolls down the bunny trail?
Ans. Peter Cottonball!
30. Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry?
Ans. Because it's always on a sundae!
31. What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?
Ans. Colored eggrolls!
32. Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Ans. Because he kept quacking all the eggs!
33. What is the Easter Bunny's favorite state capital?
Ans. Albunny, New York!
34. What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Ans. Patty O'Furniture
35. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
Ans. Sham rock
36. Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Because they are always wearing green
37. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
Ans. When it's a French fry
38. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Ans. Some poor horse is going barefoot
39. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
Ans. His red ones were in the wash
40. Why is a river rich?
Ans. Because it has two banks
41. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Ans. A jolly green giant
42. What is Barney's favorite thing on St. Patricks day?
Ans. A Blarney Stone
43. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
Ans. A Sham Rock
44. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Ans. He couldn't afford plane fare.
45. Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf clover?
Ans. Neither have I
46. Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
Ans. They need all the luck they can get
47. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
�
Ans. He gets wet.
48. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Sure now, but them regular rocks be way to heavy, don't you know.
49. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
Ans. A leper con
50. What do you say to a leprechaun?
Ans. How's the weather down there.
51. What is a nuahcerpel?
Ans. Leprechaun spelled backwards
52. Why is Erin, the beanie baby's birthday on St.Patrick's day?
�
Ans. Because that is when she was born
53. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
Ans. �He wanted to find the pot of gold faster
54. Why did the man cross the road?
Ans. A leprechaun chasing rainbows was on the other side.
55. What did one Irish ghost say to the other?
Ans. Top o' the moaning!"
56. Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
Ans. In the Little League!
57. What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home?
Ans. A lepre-condo!
58. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?
Ans. A streprechaun!
59. What did St. Patrick say to the snakes?
Ans. He told them to "hiss off"
60. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
Ans. When it's a French fry
61. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
Ans. His red ones were in the wash
62. What do elves learn in school?
Ans. The elf-abet!
63. What would you get if you crossed a stupid boy with a well known Irish ballad?
Ans. "O Dummy Boy"!
64. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a bathroom?
Ans. A lepre john!
65. What's little and green and goes two hundred miles per hour?
Ans. A leprechaun in a blender!
66. Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
Ans. Yeah, but only a little!
67. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Ans. Because they're very short-tempered!
68. What's an Irishman who keeps bouncing off walls called?
Ans. Rick O'Shea.
69. What does a queen bee use to part her hair?
Ans. A Honeycomb.
70. Did you hear about the constipated composer?
Ans. He couldn't finish the last movement.
71. How does an attorney sleep?
Ans. First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
72. What do you call a cat who eats lemons?
Ans. A sour puss!
73. What happened to the butcher?
Ans. He backed into a meat cutter and got a little behind�in his work.
74. What did one eye say to the other eye?
Ans. Between you and me, something smells!
75. Why did the turtle cross the road?
Ans. To get to the shell station
76. If all the cars in the U.S.A. were pink, what would we have?
Ans. A pink carnation.
77. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
Ans. Because if they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans.
78. What doesn't a ghost need in his house?
Ans. A living room!
79. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Ans. "It's cute... but can it pick up peanuts?"
80. What do you call a mortician that gives people wedgies?
Ans, An undies-taker!
81. What did the nut say when it sneezed?
Ans. Cashew!
82. Can music make you think?
Ans. It made Stevie Wonder.
83. Why is it a bad idea to tell jokes while ice skating?
Ans. Because the ice may crack up.
84. What do you call a camel with no humps?
Ans. Humphrey.
85. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ans. Ughs and kisses!
86. What do you get when you cross a stray cat with a crocodile?
Ans. An alley gator.
87. What did boy pickle say to the girl pickle?
Ans. "You mean a great dill to me."
88. Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Ans. Because kidneys would look pretty gross!
89. What did one light bulb say to the other?
Ans. "I love you a whole watt!"
90. What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?
Ans. A pinch hitter.
91. Why don't bears wear socks?
Ans. Because they like to walk in their bear feet.
92. What did the grandfather do when the truck got old?
Ans. He retired it.
93. What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell�out of a tree would kill you?
Ans. A pool table.
94. What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
Ans. National Dyslexics Association.
95. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin�doctor?
Ans. A pachydermatologist.
96. Why do sharks live in salt water?
Ans. Because pepper makes them sneeze!
97. What did the geometry teacher say when she lost her parrot?
Ans. Where's my polygon?
98. What is a ghost's favorite day?
Ans. Moanday.
99. Where do rabbits go to dance?
Ans. At the Hop.
100. Why don't pigs like money?
Ans. They don't want to become a piggy bank.