Various Riddles 62

1. What type of music do rabbits like?
Ans. Hip-Hop

2. Where does the Old Lady That Lived in A Shoe plan to send her children to college?
Ans. To Oxford

3. Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
Ans. Because they keep walking off to answer the door.

4. What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Ans. Fowl weather.

5. Why does a cow wear a bell?
Ans. Its horns don't work.

6. What did the baby porcupine say when it backed into the cactus?
Ans. Is that you, Mother?

7. What did one eye say to the other?
Ans. There's something between us that smells.

8. Why does a frog stand in the outfield?
Ans. So that he won't miss a fly.

9. What did the pencil say to the paper?
Ans. I dot my eye on you!

10. What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Ans. Skin diving!

11. What do you call a pig that does karate?
Ans. Porkchop!

12. Why were the orange and the apple all alone?
Ans. Because the banana split!

13. How are dogs like phones?
Ans. They have collar lD's!

14. Who are the youngest members of the army?
Ans. The infantry!

15. What did the tornado say to the car?
Ans. "You want to go for a spin?"

16. Why are false teeth like stars?
Ans. Because they come out at night!

17. Why did a boy take a pencil to bed?
Ans. He wanted to draw the curtains!

18. How did the boy get Egyptian flu?
Ans. He caught it from his mummy!

19. Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open?
Ans. Because she expected some change in the weather.

20. Why did the banker fire the loan officer?
Ans. Lack of interest

21. Why can't a rooster ever get rich?
Ans. Because he works for chicken feed!

22. What did the tornado say to the car?
Ans. "You want to go for a spin?"

23. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?
Ans. He gave her a ring.

24. Did you hear about the church that burned down?
Ans. Holy smokes!

25. Why were the elephants the last animals to leave the ark?
Ans. They had to pack their trunks.

26. Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?
Ans. It comes with scales.

27. What does the dentist of the year get?
Ans. A little plaque.

28. Who won the Kentucky Derby, types 180 words per minute, and can carry 10 times her own weight?
Ans. Secretary Ant!

29. What do you call a lizard with a platinum hip-hop album?
Ans. A rap-tile!

30. Why are owls invited to so many parties?
Ans. Because they are a hoot to have around.

31. What does a baseball player go when he rips his uniform?
Ans. New Jersey.

32. What do you call a scared tyrannosaurus?
Ans. A nervous rex.

33. What makes an octopus a good fighter?
Ans. He's very well armed.

34. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Ans. I'm not shore.

35. What do you call a jacket that's on fire?
Ans. A blazer

36. Why did the pretty schoolteacher marry the custodian?
Ans. He swept her off her feet.

37. What is a polygon?
Ans. A dead parrot

38. What weighs 2,500 pounds and wears flowers in its hair?
Ans. A HippyPotamus

39. What kind of boots did the ghost wear?
Ans. Ghoul loshes.

40. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Ans. A gummy bear.

41. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
Ans. To improve his bite.

42. What did the digital clock say to his mom?
Ans. "Can you give me a hand?"

43. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
Ans. Fowl play.

44. What did the lobster major in at the police academy?
Ans. Claw enforcement.

45. What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
Ans. A cereal killer.

46. What birds spend all their time on their knees?
Ans. Birds of pray.

47.� How do you make a witch stew?
Ans. Make her wait.

48. What did the Prince say to the angry witch?
Ans. Ribbit, ribbit....

49. What happens to a fast witch who flies on a slow broom?
Ans. She flies off the handle.

50. What sound do you hear when a witch on a broom breaks the sound barrier?
Ans. The broom boom.

51. What do you call a witch that lives on the beach?
Ans. A sandwich.

52. What do you call a group of witches in a hot tub?
Ans.�A self cleaning coven.

53. How does a witch make dreams come true?
Ans.�By witchful thinking.

54. Why do witches think they're funny?
Ans. Because every time they look into a mirror, it cracks up.

55.�What is a witch's favorite outfit to wear?
Ans.�Something bewitching.

56.�What do you call a dating organization for witches?
Ans. Craft Singles.

57. Why did the blonde witch get a remote control?
Ans. Because she wanted to channel.

58. Why are witches such great writers?
Ans. Because they are so good at SPELLing.

59. Why do they put telephone wires so high?
Ans. To hold up the conversation.

60. What do you call the horse the runs the city?
Ans. The mare

61. What happened to the girl who swallowed a spoon?
Ans. She couldn't stir anymore.

62. Why didn't the cowboy join his pals in the saloon?
Ans. Because he was on the wagon.

63. How can you tell that Doctor Frankenstein had a good sense of humor?
Ans. Because he kept his monster in stitches

64. How much does a Math Teacher eat every day?
Ans. 3 square meals.

65. What 80's musical group is the favorite among Truck drivers who deliver raw materials to cereal companies.
Ans. Haulin' Oats

66. What happened to the man who fell asleep during a basketball game?
Ans. He had hoop dreams

67. How did the bowler pay for his acupuncture?
Ans. With pin money

68. What do you get when you bless an avacado?
Ans. Holy guacamole.

69. Why did the teacher throw homework into the ocean?
Ans. She wanted to test the water

70. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Ans. Juan on Juan.

71. Why couldn't the little lamb play outside?
Ans. It was being baaaaaaaad.

72. What key doesn't fit through a door?
Ans. A piano key.

73. What did the hungry dalmation say after he had a large meal?
Ans. That hit the spots.

74. Why don't dogs make good dancers?
Ans. Because they have two left feet.

75. Do you know where leeches learn to suck blood?
Ans. Law school.

76. Can you trust a magic carpet?
Ans. No, they lie like a rug.

77. What do you call it when a king goes to the bathroom?
Ans. A royal flush.

78. Why did the dog cross the road?
Ans. To get to the barking lot.

79. What did Adam say to Eve when she tried to boss him around?
Ans. "Hey! I wear the plants in this family!"

80. What do you call a musical bee?
Ans. An opera stinger

81. What happened to the plant in math class?
Ans. It grew square roots.

82. Why did the math class not use desks?
Ans. Because they had times tables.

83. Should I have a baby after 35?
Ans. No, 35 children is enough.

84. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
Ans. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

85. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
Ans. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

86. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
Ans. Childbirth.

87. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Ans. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

88. Do I have to have a baby shower?
Ans. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

89. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
Ans. When the kids are in college.

Home:
Riddles Galore:

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws