Various Riddles 61
1. Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
Ans. They would only let him be BAT boy
2. Why didn't Dracula get married?
Ans. He never met a nice Ghoul
3. Where do mummies go for a swim?
Ans. To the dead sea
4. What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Ans. Pumpkin Pi
5. Where do ghosts buy their food?
Ans. At the ghost-ery store
6. Where do ghosts mail their letters?
Ans. At the ghost office
7. What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
Ans. The roller ghoster
8. How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
Ans. With a pumpkin patch
9. When does a skeleton laugh?
Ans. When something tickles his funny bone
10. Why was the mummy so tense?
Ans. He was all wound up
11. Where did the goblin throw the football?
Ans. Over the ghoul line
12. What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Ans. Spare ribs
13. What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ans. Ghostcards
14. What is a ghost's favorite party game?
Ans. Hide-and-go-shriek
15. What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Ans. Boo-ties!
16. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
Ans. You look boo-tiful tonight
17. What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?
Ans. Boojeans
18. What is the best material for kites?
Ans. Fly Paper
19. Why is the letter d like a bad boy?
Ans. It makes ma mad
20. Why is the letter y like a young spendthrift?
Ans. Because he makes pa pay
21. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole?
Ans. All the difference in the world
22. What is the coldest place in the theatre?
Ans. The zrow
23. What table has no legs at all?
Ans. A Timetable
24. What is the difference between a husband and a jilted suitor?
Ans. One kissess the missus and the other miesses the kisses
25. What must one do to have soft hands?
Ans. Nothing
26. To what man do men always take their hats off to?
Ans. The barber
27. What questiong can you never answer with a yes?
Ans. Are you sleeping?
28. What is bought by the yard yet worn by the foot?
Ans. Carpet
29. What kind of cat do you always find in the library?
Ans. A Catalogue
30. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Ans. I'm not shore.
31. Why did the farmer take a bucket of milk to �
church?
Ans. To get it pasteurized
32. What do cows give after an earthquake?
Ans. Milk shakes
33. Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball �
player?
Ans. She had a pumpkin for a coach!
34. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Ans. Glass flippers
35. Did you hear about the shoplifter at the �
lingerie shop?
Ans. She gave police the slip.
36. What do you get if you cross a bear with a skunk?
Ans. Winnie the Phew!
37. What did the Arithmetic textbook say to the Reading textbook?
Ans. "Don't tell me your sad stories, I'm the one with the problems!"
38. What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
Ans. An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!
39. What did the picture say to the wall?
Ans. I've been framed!
40. What did the wall say to the picture?
Ans. Hi Art!
41. What do you call a sheep that does karate?
Ans. A lamb chop
42. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
Ans. They all have phones.
43. How did the rocket lose its job?
Ans. It was fired.
44. Where do baby trees go to school?
Ans. To a tree nursery.
45. What do you call two birds in love?
Ans. Tweethearts!
46. Why shouldn't you marry a tennis pro?
Ans. Because love means nothing to them.
47. What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?
Ans. Saturday night fever.
48. How is a hospital gown like insurance?
Ans. You're never covered as much as you think you are.
49. What do you do when a pharmaceutical salesman knocks on your door?
Ans. Vitamin!
50. Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street?
Ans. They were arch enemies.
51, What did the bat say to his Valentine?
Ans. "You're fun to hang around with."
52. What did one pickle say to the other?
Ans. "Valentine, you mean a great dill to me!"
53. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
Ans. "I'm sweet on you!"
54. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
Ans. "I find you very attractive."
55. What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
Ans. "I love you a ton!"
56. What would you get it you crossed
a blonde with the God of love?
Ans. A stupid cupid!
57. What did the big French fry say to the little French fry?
Ans. Ketchup.
58. Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
Ans. For doing an illegal ewe-turn.
59. Why aren't ghosts any good at telling lies?
Ans. Because you can see right through them!
60. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
Ans. To get some life savers!
61. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. Because he had no GUTS!!!
62. What room can't a skeleton go in?
Ans. The living room!
63. Why did the skeleton cross the road alone?
Ans. He didn`t have any body to go with.
64. Why was the ghost scared on Halloween?
Ans. Because he didn�t have any guts.
65. What is a zombie�s favorite kind of street???
Ans. A dead end!!!!!!!
66. How do you make a witch itch?
Ans. Take away her "w!"
67. Why did the team have a ghost?
Ans. Because they wanted some team spirit!
68. Why didn�t the ghost go to the party?
Ans. Because it had no 'body' to go with!
69. What did the monster say when he introduced himself?
Ans. Pleased to eat you!
70. What is a ghost's favorite lunchmeat?
Ans. Boologna!
71. What did the mother ghost say to her son when they went into a car?
Ans. Put on your sheet belt!
72. What does Count Dracula do when he isn't drinking blood?
Ans. Counting!
73. What did King Tut say when he was afraid?
Ans. I want my mummy!
74. What is a mummies favorite music?
Ans. Wrap music!
75. Why are ghosts at their loudest in the summer?
Ans. Because they are on their howlidays!
76. What do ghosts like to eat?
Ans. Spooogetti!
77. What did the skeleton say when he finished eating?
Ans. Bone appetite!
78. Where do ghosts swim on holiday?
Ans. In the Dead Sea!
79. Why did the ghost go to Wal-mart?
Ans. To get more sheets!
80. Why do witches use brooms?
Ans. Because the vacuum cord was too short!
81. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. To get to the body shop.
82. Why don't skeletons play in church?
Ans. Because they don't have any organs!
83. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
Ans. With a pumpkin patch!
84. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. Because he wanted to go to the body shop.
85. Why didn't the ghost cross the road?
Ans. He didn't have the guts.
86. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Ans. Because he had no body to go with.
87. Why did the ghost have a band-aid?
Ans. It had a boo boo !!
88. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Ans. Frostbite!
89. Why did the ghost have a band aid?
Ans. Because he had a BOO BOO!!!!!!
90. What is a ghost's favorite food?
Ans. Booberry pie!
91. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
Ans. To get some life savers!
92. What four letters of the alphabet would frighten a thief?
Ans. O I C U.
93. Why did the little boy put suntan lotion of the chicken?
Ans. He liked dark meat.
94. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
Ans. To make up for a miserable summer.
95. What did the flower say to the bee?
Ans. Quit bugging me.
96. What is the difference between a running man and a running dog?
Ans. The man wears trousers and the dog pants.
97. What keeps a magazine alive?
Ans. Good circulation.
98. What happened to the two bedbugs who fell in love?
Ans. They were married in the spring.
99. What kind of boats do mosquitoes live in?
Ans. Bolld Vessels.
100. What kind of paper do mosquitoes like?
Ans. Scratch paper.
