Various Riddles 59
1. What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
Ans. I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
2. What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Ans. Belly button!
3. Why didn't the banana snore?
Ans. Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!
4. What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his feet?
Ans. An incowpoop!
5. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
Ans. He wanted to find Pluto!
6. What happened when the wheel was invented?
Ans. It caused a revolution!
7. Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on
their walls?
Ans. Because they couldn't spell their names!
8. What is the noisiest game?
Ans. Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet!
9. Where do flies go in winter?
Ans. To the glass foundry to be turned into bluebottles!
10. Why did the king go to the dentist?
Ans. To get his teeth crowned!
11. Why are you covered in bruises?
Ans. I started to walk through a revolving door and I changed my mind!
12. How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Ans. Catch it in the Winter!
13. What steps would you take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife?
Ans.m Great big ones!
14. Who was the world's greatest thief?
Ans. Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
15. How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Ans. With a pair of Caesars!
16. What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
Ans. His nose!
17.m What do you call an American drawing?
Ans. Yankee doodle!
18. What is a volcano?
Ans. A mountain with hiccups!
19. Why was the broom late?
Ans. It over slept!
20. What runs but never walks?
Ans. Water!
21. What is green, four legs and two trunks?
Ans. Two seasick tourists!
22. Who is in cowboy films and always broke?
Ans. Skint Eastwood!
23. Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
Ans. Al Caprawn!
24. What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
Ans. A pecking order!
25.Why did the silly kid stand on his head?
Ans. His feet were tired!
26. What does one star say to another star when they meet?
Ana. Glad to meteor!
27. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
Ans. With a cabbage patch!
28. What is a skeleton?
Ans. Bones, with the person off!
29. What might you eat in Paris?
Ans. The trifle tower!
30. Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?
Ans. Sir Francis Brake!
31. What is the quickest way to double your money?
Ans. Fold it in half!
32. Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?
Ans. Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
33. Where do hamsters come from?
Ans. Hampsterdam!
34. What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole?
Ans. A penguin!
35. Why is the time in the USA behind that of England?
Ans. Because England was discovered before the USA!
36. What is posthumous work?
Ans. Something written by someone after they are dead!
37. What is the most slippery country in the world?
Ans. Greece!
38. What is the strongest bird?
Ans. A crane!
39. What is the smelliest city in America?
Ans. Phew York!
40. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
Ans. A ladder in her stocking!
41. Who was the best actor in the bible?
Ans. Samson, he brought the house down!
42. What cake wanted to rule the world?
Ans. Atilla the Bun!
43. Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Ans. Because it's tied!
44. Who was the Black Prince?
Ans. The son of Old King Cole!
45. Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
Ans. So he could tell the time at night!
46. Where do snowmen go to dance?
Ans. A snowball!
47. Where does a general keep his armies?
Ans. Up his sleevies!
48. Why did the burglar take a shower?
Ans. He wanted to make a clean getaway!
49. What kind of fish can't swim?
Ans. Dead ones!
50. How do Welsh people eat cheese?
Ans. Caerphilly!
51. Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Ans. Because they would look silly in anoraks!
52. Q. Where does wood come from?
Ans. A guy named woody.
53. What has one horn and gives milk
Ans. A milk truck.
54. Where do bulls get their messages
Ans. On a bull-etin board.
55. What do bulls do when they go shopping?
Ans. They CHARGE!
56. Why were the giant's fingers only eleven inches long?
Ans. Because if they were twelve inches long, they'd be a foot.
57. What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Ans. Bunny Farts!
58. What runs but can't walk?
Ans. The faucet!
59. What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?
Ans. A water bed!
60. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
Ans. Firecrackers!
61. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
Ans. No thanks, I'm stuffed!
62. Why did the barber win the race?
Ans. Because he took a short cut.
63. What's taken before you get it?
Ans. Your picture.
64. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
Ans. To get a root canal.
65. Why did the child study in the airplane?
Ans. He wanted a higher education!
66. Why was the broom late?
Ans. It over swept!
67. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
Ans. A ladder in her stocking!
68. What did one virus say to another?
Ans. Stay away, I think I've got penicillin!
69. What did the tie say to the hat?
Ans. You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
70. What pet makes the loudest noise?
Ans. A trum-pet!
71. What is a tornado?
Ans. Mother nature doing the twist!
72. Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
Ans. They're afraid of flying off the handle!
73. What do witches put on their hair?
Ans. Scare spray
74, How does the witch know what time it is?
Ans. She looks at her witch-watch.
75. What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Ans. Spelling!
76. What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
Ans. She witch-hiked!
77. What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
Ans, A haunted dollhouse.
78, Why do witches wear name tags?
Ans, So, they would know which witch is which!
79. How do witches tell time?
Ans. With a witch watch.
80. What do you call two witches living together?
Ans. Broom-mates.
81. What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
Ans. Broom service.
82. What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
Ans. "There's always broom for one more."
83. When do witches cook their victims?
Ans. On Fry Day.
84. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
Ans. A sand-witch.
85. What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
Ans. A brrrooooommmm stick
86. Who was the most famous witch detective?
Ans. Warlock Holmes
87. What do they teach in witching school?
Ans. Spelling.
88. Why does a witch ride a broom?
Ans. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
89. What do you call a witch's garage?
Ans. A broom closet.
90. What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
Ans. She witch-hiked!
91. What do witches eat at Halloween?
Ans. Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie
92. What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime?
Ans. Ghoul deluxe and the three scares
93. How does a witch tell the time?
Ans. With a witch watch!
94. Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine?
Ans. She wanted a clean sweep!
95. What do you call two witches that share a room?
Ans. Broom mates!
96. What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make?
Ans. Snap, cackle and pop!
97. What is a witch with poison ivy called?
Ans.An itchy witchy!
98. What's a cold, evil candle called?
Ans. The wicked wick of the north!
99. What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round?
Ans. A witch in a revolving door!
100. What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside?
Ans. A witch dressed as a cucumber!