Various Riddles 57
1, What do bees do with their honey?
Ans. They cell it.
2. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
Ans. A goat.
3. What country makes you shiver?
Ans. Chile.
4. What did Mason say to Dixon?
Ans. "We have to draw the line."
5. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Ans. In case he got a hole in one.
6. What bone will a dog never eat?
Ans. A trombone.
7. What dessert comes in an edible container?
Ans. An ice cream cone.
8. What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
Ans. A cartoon.
9. What tree is always unhappy?
Ans. The blue spruce.
10. How do you make a hot dog stand?
Ans. Steal its chair.
11. What did the rug say to the floor?
Ans. Don't move, I've got you covered.
12 What has one horn and gives milk?
Ans. A milk truck.
13. What did Santa say when his toys misbehaved?
Ans. Toys will be toys
14. If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be?
Ans. A Holly Davidson.
15. Why do Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Ans. Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
����
16. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?'
Ans. Because they have big fingers.
����
17. What did Batman and Robin become when runover by a bus?
Ans. Flatman and Ribbon.
����
18. Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Ans. They'd crack each-other up!
19. Why did Joe put a clock in the oven?
Ans. He wanted to have a hot time.
20. What goes around the yard but never moves?
Ans. A fence.
21. What kind of apple has a short temper?
Ans. A crab apple.
22. What asks no question but demands an answer.
Ans. The doorbell.
23. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Ans. Your name.
24. What bird can lift the most?
Ans. A crane.
25. Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
Ans. So he could hide in the strawberry patch.
26. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a catterpillar?
Ans. Drumsticks for everyone.
����
27. Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?
Ans. He was looking for Pooh!
����
28. What kind of ticks do you find on the moon?
Ans. Luna-ticks.
29. What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock?
Ans. Look, pop, no hands!
30. Why was the guy fired from the orange juice factory?
Ans. He couldn't concentrate.
31. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
Ans. Swimming trunks.
32. What goes up when the rain comes down?
Ans. An umbrella.
33. What disappears when you stand up?
Ans. Your lap.
34. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
Ans. My pop is bigger than yours.
35. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
Ans. You are too little to smoke.
36. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
Ans. A doctopus!
37. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Ans. Because she wanted to test the waters!
38. Why did the belt go to jail?
Ans. Because it held up a pair of pants!
39. What is the center of gravity?
Ans. The letter V!
40. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Ans. Stick with me and we will go places!
41. What sort of star is dangerous?
Ans. A shooting star!
42. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?�
Ans. He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
43. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
Ans. Flood lights!
44. What do computers do when they get hungry?
Ans. They eat chips!
45. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Ans. Because they're all in High School!
46. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
Ans. "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
47. Which month do soldiers hate most?
Ans. The month of March!
48. What did the painter say to the wall?
Ans. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
49. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Ans. In case they get a hole in one!
50. What did the the tie say to the hat?
Ans. You go on a head, I'll just hang around!
51. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Ans. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
52. How do you tease fruit?
Ans. Banananananananana!
53. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
Ans. Because he wanted to work over-time!
54. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
Ans. Because he wanted to see time fly!
55. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
Ans. Jell-o!
56. When do you stop at green and go at red?
Ans. When you're eating a watermelon!
57. How did the farmer mend his pants?
Ans. With cabbage patches!
58. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
Ans. Because it makes you break out!
59. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
Ans. Mockaroni!
60. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
Ans. He has a lot of ketchup time!
61. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
Ans. He couldn't concentrate!
62. How do you repair a broken tomato?
Ans. Tomato Paste!
63. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Ans. Because his parents were in a jam!
64. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
Ans. Patty!
65. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
Ans. A deviled egg!
66. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
Ans. A turkey!
67. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
Ans. A stomach-cake!
68. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Ans. He felt crummy!
69. When does a cart come before a horse?
Ans. In the dictionary!
70. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
Ans. She couldn't control her pupils!
71. How do you catch a squirrel?
Ans. Climb a tree and act like a nut!
72. What do you do with a blue whale?
Ans. Try to cheer him up!�
73. How do you communicate with a fish?
Ans. Drop him a line!
74. Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
Ans. To the Baa Baa shop!
75. What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
Ans. Jellyfish!
76. Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
Ans. Because he had a big bill!
77. What do cats eat for breakfast?
Ans. Mice Crispies!
78. What kind of dog tells time?
Ans. A watch dog!
79. Why can't a leopard hide?
Ans. Because he's always spotted!
80. What do you give a dog with a fever?
Ans. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
81. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
Ans. A sour puss!
82. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Ans. Its easier than walking!
83. What kind of key opens a banana?
Ans. A monkey!
84. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Ans. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
85. Why does a hummingbird hum?
Ans. It doesn't know the words!
86. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Ans. Because they dropped out of school!
87. What goes up and down but doesn't move?
Ans. The temperature!
88. What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?
Ans. Today and Tomorrow!
89. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
Ans. Neither, they both weigh a ton!
90. What has four eyes but can't see?
Ans. Mississippi!
91. What did the penny say to the other penny?
Ans. We make perfect cents.
92. Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
Ans. To get to the second hand shop.
93. Why did the picture go to jail?
Ans. Because it was framed.
94. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
Ans. Lunch and dinner.
95. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
Ans. So he could have sweet dreams.
96. Why did the robber take a bath?
Ans. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
97. What did the judge say to the dentist?
Ans. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the
tooth.
98. What do you call a bear with no socks on?
Ans. Bare-foot.
99. What can you serve but never eat?
Ans. A volleyball.
100. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered
him some dessert?
Ans. No thank you, I am stuffed.