Various Riddles 55
1. Why did the boy jump up and down?
Ans. He took some medicine that said shake well.
2. What did one flower say to the other flower?
Ans. Hi Bud.
3. Why did the man look for words that meant "angry"?
Ans. He wanted to make a crossword puzzle.
4. Which is braver a stone or a stump?
Ans. A stone cause it's a little boulder.
5. Where does water get money from?
Ans. A riverbank.
6. What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
Ans. He was in shock for a week.
7. What happens when you don't clean your mirror?
Ans. You get a dirty look.
8. What did the big door say to the little door?
Ans. You look pretty a-door-able.
9. How many skunks does it take to fill a neighborhood?
Ans. Just a phew.
10. What is a dog's least favorite place to go?
Ans. A Flea Market.
11. WHat do you call a penguin in the desert?
Ans. Lost.
12. What did the happy chocolate say to the cranky chocolate?
Ans. Don't have a meltdown.
13. What color can bat its eyes?
Ans. Periwinkle.
14. Why did the giant get lost?
Ans. His head was always in the clouds.
15. What do fish like to play on a piano?
Ans. Scales.
16. Why is a pill not like a hill?
Ans. A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.
17. How can you make gold soup?
Ans. Put 14 carrots in it.
18. What kind of cat can swim underwater?
Ans. A catfish.
19. What can speak in every language but never went to school?
Ans. An echo.
20. What did one candle say to another candle?
Ans. Are you going out tonight?
21. How do you make an orange laugh?
Ans. Tickle its naval.
22. How do you know when a mole neesd money?
Ans. He burrows from his friends.
23. Why is the owl such a busy body?
Ans. He always wants to know Who Who.
24. Where does a turtle keep his books?
Ans. On his bookshelf.
25. What kind of ceremony do spiders have when they decide to get married?
Ans. A Webbing.
26. What always has an eye open but can't see?
Ans. A needle.
27. What do you call a man who is always wiring for money?
Ans. An electrician.
28. What is as old as the mountains?
Ans. The valleys between them.
29. Why is a dog who rides in an automobile like a floor covering?
Ans. He is a carpet.
30. Why is a ball team like a pancake?
Ans. Because success depends on the batter.
31. When is a baseball player like a farmer?
Ans. When he chases a fowl.
32. Why do white sheep eat more that black sheep?
Ans. There are more of them.
33. What is the biggest laundry problem on Saturn?
Ans. Ring aroung the collar.
34. What keeps the moon from falling down?
Ans. Its beams.
35. What happens when a flock of geese land in a volcano?
Ans. They cook their own goose.
36. Why is it hard to talk with a goat around?
Ans. He always butts in.
37.How do you make a butterfly?
Ans. Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!
38. What is a myth?
Ans. A female moth!
39. What insect lives on nothing?
Ans. A moth, because it eats holes
40. How do stones stop moths eating your
clothes?
Ans. Because rolling stones gather no moths!
41. What do insects learn at school?
Ans. Mothmatics!
42. What's the biggest moth in the world?
Ans. A mammoth!
43. Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
Ans. He wanted to see the floor show!
44. What's pretty, delicate and carries a sub machine gun?
Ans. A killer butterfly!
45. Why was the moth so unpopular?
Ans. He kept picking holes in everything!
46. What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?
Ans. An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!
47. What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?
Ans. Mice Krispies!
48. What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
Ans. A mouseketeer!
49. What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Ans. Dirty looks from the mouse!
50. What is a mouse's favorite record?
Ans. 'Please cheese me'!
51. What goes eek, eek, bang?
Ans. A mouse in a minefield!
52. What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Ans. Miami mice!
53. What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?
Ans. Mice cubes!
54. What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Ans. Stalagmice!
55. What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Ans. Julius Cheeser!
56. Who is king of all the mice?
Ans. Mouse Tse Tung!
57. Why do cats always get a good report card?
Ans. Because they're purrfect.
58. Why was the corn mad at the farmer?
Ans. Because the farmer pulled his ear.
59. What do you get when you eat a zebra?
Ans. Stripe throat.
60. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. To get his guts on the other side!
61. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ans. Groundbeef.
62. What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck?
Ans. Milk and quackers.
63. Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
Ans. To get to the other tide.
64. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dog?
Ans. An animal that chases itself.
65. Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys?
Ans. Because he was shellfish..
66. What did the papa buffalo say to the baby buffalo before he went to
work?
Ans. "Bison".
67. Why did the boa constrictors get married?
Ans. Because they had a crush on each other.
68. Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?
Ans. So he can Ho-Ho-Ho.
69. What do you have in December that you don't have in any
other month?
Ans. The letter "D".
70. What do reindeer have that no other animals on earth have?
Ans. Baby reindeer.
71. Where do snowmen keep their money?
Ans. In snowbanks!!!!
72. What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Ans. Anything you want. He can't hear you!
73. What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Ans. Lost.
74. How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter?
Ans. Mice skates.
75. What do you call a hippie's wife?
Ans. Mississippi
76. What's in the middle of a jellyfish?
Ans. A jellybutton
77. What do you call a very popular perfume?
Ans. A best-smeller
78. What does a boy monster do when a girl monster rolls her eyes at him?
Ans. He picks them up and rolls them back
79. Why can't you play jokes on snakes?
Ans. Because you can never pull their legs
80. Why did the baker stop making donuts?
Ans. He got sick of the hole business
81. How do you stop an elephant from going through the eye of a needle?
Ans. Tie a knot in its tail
82. What kind of fish goes good with a peanut butter sandwich?
Ans. A Jelly Fish
83. How do make dinosaurs sleepy?
Ans. Add an n and it becomes dinosnores.
84. Where do snowmen go to dance?
Ans. A snowball!
85. Where does a general keep his armies?
Ans. Up his sleevies!
86. Why did the burglar take a shower?
Ans. He wanted to make a clean getaway!
87. Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
Ans. He's a squealer.
88. What kind of paper makes you itch?
Ans. Scratch paper.
89. What doesn't get any wetter no matter how hard it rains?
Ans. The ocean.
90. How does a boat show affection?
Ans. It hugs the shore.
91. What goes up and down but doesn't move?
Ans. A staircase.
92. What can you hold without ever touching it?
Ans. A conversation.
93. What kind of animal doesn't believe anything?
Ans. Sheep. They always say, "Bah!"
94. What did the doc say when he finished the operation?
Ans. "That's enough out of you."
95. What piece of wood is like a king?
Ans. A ruler.
96. When is a man like a dog?
Ans. When he's a boxer.
97. How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds?
Ans. Say, "Washington, DC."
98. What did the hen say when she saw a plate of scrambled eggs?
Ans. What a bunch of mixed up kids.
99. Why did the weatherman lose his job?
Ans. The weather didn't agree with him.
100. What did the man say when he poured a can of Coke in his gas tank?
Ans. "Things go better with Coke."
