26. Why didn't the baseball player get to meet Cinderella?
Ans. He missed the ball.
27. If joy is the opposite of sorrow what is the opposite of woe?
Ans. Giddap.
28. Why didn't Casper's sisters enter the Miss America contest?
Ans. They knew they didn't have a ghost of a chance to win.
29. Why is a loaf of bread that's four weeks old like a mouse running into a hole in the wall?
Ans. You can see its tail (tale).
30. Why should you be careful about telling secrets in the country?
Ans. The corn has ears, the potatos have eyes and the beans talk.
31. Where will we be when the lights go out?
Ans. In the dark.
32. Who was the first skin diver?
Ans. A mosquito.
33. What happens when the human body is completely surrounded by water?
Ans. The phone rings.
34. What did the happy lamp say to the grumpy lamp?
Ans. Lghten up.
35. What kind of vehicle does a pig drive?
Ans. A pig-up truck.
36. What isthe coldest place in a theater?
Ans. The Z-row.
37. Why do radio announcers have small hands?
Ans. Wee paws for station identification.
38. Why did the ghost give up singing?
Ans. He was booed.
39. What happened to the three ghosts in the fan facory?
Ans. They were three sheets in the wind.
40. What kind of brides do ghosts make?
Ans. Booful brides.
41. A nickel and a dime sat on a fence. The dime stayed there but the nickel fell. Why?
Ans. The dime had more cents (sense).
42. What's black and white and hides in a cellar?
Ans. A zebra with a lot of bills.
43. Why did everyone think Pinky was a snob?
Ans. He had such a ghostly manor (manner).
44. Whatdoes a ghost like for dessert?
Ans. Goster cupcakes.
45. Why is Blinky the ghost so blue?
Ans. He's just a shadow of his former self.
46. Who wrote Pinky the ghost's life story?
Ans. a ghost writer.
47. Why did the ghosts give up acting?
Ans. They got stage freight.
48. What gets bigger when upside down?
Ans. 6.
49. What do you call a monkey that eats potato chips?
Ans. A chipmonk.
50. What do you call a smart duck?
Ans. A wise quacker.
51. Who delivers baby ghosts?
Ans. Dr Spook.
52. Why was the shy ghost afraid to go out in public?
Ans. He was short sheeted.
53. Where do ghosts like to swim?
Ans. Lake Eerie.
54. What kind of milk do ghosts drink?
Ans. Evaporated milk.
55. What does Sue use to soften her ghostly skin?
Ans. Vanishing cream.
56. What did one ear say to the other?
Ans. How come we live on the same block but never meet?
57. What is pigskin used for most?
Ans. To hold pigs together.
58. What is a bee?
Ans. Just a little humbug.
59. What insect does a blacksmith make?
Ans. Firefly.
60. Are people in the animal, vegetable, or mineral family?
Ans. Vegetable they are human beans (beings).
61. Why were the Indians the first people in America?
Ans. They had reservations.
62. After the rain falls when does it rise again?
Ans. In dew time.
63. What must one do to have soft hands?
Ans. Nothing.
64. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
Ans. Nectarine.
65. What is the difference between a farmer and a dressmaker?
Ans. One gathers what he sows and the other sews what he gathers.
66. What has feet on each side and one in the middle?
Ans. A yardstick.
67. When is it socially correct to serve milk in a saucer?
Ans. When you feed a cat.
68. What is it one frequently holds but rarely touches?
Ans. His tongue.
69. What did the light switch say to the boy?
Ans. Boy you turn me on.
70. Why didn't the man return a borrowed book?
Ans. He was a bookkeeper.
71. What pliers goes to math class?
Ans. Multipliers.
72. What's white and goes up?
Ans. A confused snowflake.
73. Which candle burns longer a red one or a blue one?
Ans. Neither, they both burn shorter.
74. How is a candle hurt after it has been lighted?
Ans. It gets glowing pains.
75. What never was but always will be?
Ans. Tomorrow.
76. What did the cherry tree say to George Washington when he tried to cut it down?
Ans. Don't ax me.
77. What can you hold without touching?
Ans. Your breath.
78. When is a boat like a heap of snow?
Ans. When it's a drift.
79. What ice cream flavors do sharks like best?
Ans. Fin-illa, jaw-berry, shark-olate, and toothy-fruity.
80. What is a pimple?
Ans. A dimple going the wrong way.
81. What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
Ans. You're catching on.
82. What always comes into the house through the keyhole?
Ans. A key.
83. Why did Santa Claus take up gardening?
Ans. He like to hoe hoe hoe.
84. Why did the man put his car in the oven?
Ans. He wanted a hot rod.
85. What is full of holes but still can hold water?
Ans. A sponge.
86. What is it that no one wants to have yet when they have it they don't want to lose it?
Ans. A lawsuit.
87. What would you call a dinosaur telephone?
Ans. A rep-dial.
88. What did the doctor say to the dinosaur?
Ans. You're looking a little pale-eozoic.
89. What does a dinosaur doctor use to take a temperature?
Ans. A fern-meter.
90. What does a dinosaur say when he has a lot of homework?
Ans. I'm swamped.
91. How does a dinosaur fossil get ready for a school test?
Ans. He bones up all night.
92. What do you call a dinosaur who's late for school?
Ans. An overslept-ile.
93. What do you call two dinosaurs about to burst into giggles?
Ans. Pre-hysteric.
94. What do reptiles like to play on the playground?
Ans. The dino-see-saw-r.
95. What is a very quiet dinosaur?
Ans. A docile fossil.
96. What do you call a dinosaur cheerleader?
Ans. A peptile.
97. What do you call a spell cast by a dinosaur witch?
Ans. A Tyrannosaurus hex.
98. What does Clark Kent-aceratops do when he wants to change into Super Dino?
Ans. He dashes into the earest stone booth.
99. What did the cowd say as the first flying reptile took off?
Ans. Watch that dino soar!
100. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Ans. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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