26. What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Ans. Patty O'Furniture
27. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
Ans. Sham rock
28. Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Because they are always wearing green
29. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
Ans. When it's a French fry
30. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Ans. Some poor horse is going barefoot
31. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
Ans. His red ones were in the wash
32. Why is a river rich?
Ans. Because it has two banks
33. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Ans. A jolly green giant
34. What is Barney's favorite thing on St. Patricks day?
Ans. A Blarney Stone
35. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
Ans. A Sham Rock
36. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Ans. He couldn't afford plane fare.
37. Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf clover?
Ans. Neither have I
38. Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
Ans. They need all the luck they can get
39. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
Ans. He gets wet.
40. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Sure now, but them regular rocks be way to heavy, don't you know.
41. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
Ans. A leper con
42. What do you say to a leprechaun?
Ans. How's the weather down there.
43. What is a nuahcerpel?
Ans. Leprechaun spelled backwards
44. Why is Erin, the beanie baby's birthday on St.Patrick's day?
Ans. Because that is when she was born
45. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
Ans. He wanted to find the pot of gold faster
46. Why did the man cross the road?
Ans. A leprechaun chasing rainbows was on the other side.
47. What did one Irish ghost say to the other?
Ans. Top o' the moaning!"
48. Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
Ans. In the Little League!
49. What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home?
Ans. A lepre-condo!
50. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?
Ans. A streprechaun!
51. Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
Ans. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!
52. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
Ans. It's good for the bones.
53. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
Ans. They're afraid of flying off the handle!
54. Why don't skeletons like parties?
Ans. They have no body to dance with.
55. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
Ans. They're good at keeping things under wraps.
56. Why do vampires drink blood?
Ans. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!
57. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
Ans. Because he's a pain in the neck!
58. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Ans. Because he was coffin.
59. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
Ans. To get his boo-ster shot?
60. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Ans. Because people are dying to get in.
61. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
Ans. His ghoul friend.
62. Where does Dracula water ski?
Ans. On Lake Erie
63. Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
Ans. At the blood bank.
64. When does a ghost need a license?
Ans. During "haunting" season.
65. What's a haunted chicken?
Ans. A poultry-geist.
66. What was the witches' favorite subject in school?
Ans. Spelling
67. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
Ans. A dead ringer.
68. What do little ghosts drink?
Ans. Evaporated milk.
69. What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
Ans. Decoffinated!
70. What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
Ans. Five after one.
71. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Ans. Boo boos
72. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ans. Ice Scream
73. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
Ans. A blood vessel
74. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
Ans. With a pumpkin patch.
75. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Ans. Don't spook until your spooken to.
76. What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
Ans. "You are driving me batty."
77. What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
Ans. The dentist!
78. What do ghouls order at McMonsters?
Ans. Handburgers.
79. What do spooks call their Navy?
Ans. The ghost guard.
80. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Ans. Squash
81. Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
Ans. Because people are dying to get in.
82. Why do witches think they're funny?
Ans. Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
83. Why did the tiny ghost join the football squad?
Ans. He had heard that they needed a little team spirit !
84. Why don't skeletons like to eat spicy food?
Ans. They can't stomach it!
85. Why do spiders spin webs?
Ans. They can't knit.
86. When is the moon the heaviest?
Ans. When it is full.
87. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Ans. Stop taking me for granite.
88. Why do tigers live in jungles?
Ans. They can't roam with all the traffic in the city.
89. What kind of clothes lasts the longest?
Ans. Underwear cause it never wears out.
90. What colors would you paint the sun and the wind?
Ans. The sun rose and the wind blue.
91. What did the new suitcase say to the old one.
Ans. You're a sad case.
92. Why did the robber take a bath?
Ans. To make a clean getaway.
93. What has everyone seen but will never see again?
Ans. Yesterday.
94. What is bought by the yard but worn by the foot?
Ans. A carpet.
95. How can you travel fast yet never get far from the first place you passed?
Ans. Go back and forth on a swing.
96. What did the clock say at noon?
Ans. Hands up.
97. What makes a football stadium cool?
Ans. All the fans.
98. What do you have when you put together three ducks and a cow?
Ans. Quackers and milk.
99. Why do chickens make poor employees?
Ans. They tend to be cluck watchers.
100. Mr. Green is a six foot tall butcher who wears a size ten shoe so what does he weigh?
Ans. Meat.
|
Home: Riddles Galore: |