The Kuonji School of Okonomiyaki Chef Martial Arts
By Cutter Kinseeker
( Based on ideas from Rumiko Takahashi's "Ranma 1/2" )
"I make the best okonomiyaki in Japan... no, in all the world!"
--Ukyo Kuonji
Of all of the strange and unusual martial arts to come out of Japan,
few can compare to the oddity that is the Kuonji School of Okonomiyaki
Chef Martial Arts (or Kuonji-ryuu for short).
The school's history begins nearly six hundred years ago in feudal
Japan, with the founder of the Kuonji line, Shin Kuonji, a native of the
Kansai region. Not being samurai, the family had no "official" lineage
name, but became known as "Kuonji" because they were among the first
practicing Buddhists in Japan. Shin was considered by the inhabitants of
that area and the neighboring regions to be the greatest chef in the
whole of Japan, and he was especially proficient in the delicacy known
as okonomiyaki. Okonomiyaki is literally translated as "as you like it",
a reference to the multitude of toppings and ingredients that can be
used in its making. Okonomiyaki has similarities to both pizza and
pancakes; it is a flat, but fluffy, food made from batter and cooked on
a griddle, with ingredients both mixed into the batter and used as
toppings on the finished product. It was widely agreed that no one in
Japan made better okonomiyaki than Shin Kuonji and his family.
However, times grew bad for the Kuonjis, as they did for most of the
nation. The Kuonjis, like most chefs of that age, worked out of a
peddler's cart (or yattai); this became a problem as the number of
bandits and ronin wandering the land increased--when your job involves
sitting by the side of the road and collecting money as they day goes
on, you become a target for any brigand that might happen by. Shin even
had to consider giving up his family business to protect the safety of
his family. (Remember, in feudal Japan, only samurai were permitted to
hold land or own weapons.) The Kuonjis had no legal recourse, and things
looked grim.
Then one day, a wandering martial artist approached their cart to beg
for a meal. Shin Kuonji was a soft touch and agreed to give him a free
meal in exchange for some light work like fetching wood and water. This
was the beginning of a close friendship between the two men, who found
that their personal philosophies were very similar. The martial artist,
desirous to aid his friend, promised that he would found a school of
martial arts just for Shin and his descendants; Shin continued to feed
the martial artist in exchange for training in jiujitsu, believing his
promise to be an idle boast. As it turned out, nothing could be further
from the truth.
This wanderer was named Shiri Masamune, a man who would later establish
the Rules of Steel Water, principles upon which virtually all later
Japanese martial arts were based, and founded the linked schools of
martial arts called the Tetsutakido-ryuu (included in which are Aikido,
Jujutsu, Ninjitsu, Sumo, Kendo, Zanji Shinjinken-Ryu, and several
others). Masamune kept his promise to Shin Kuonji and created for him
and his family a school of martial arts that turned the traditional
tools of the chef (specfically, okonomiyaki chefs) into weapons, and
made everyday cooking abilities into katas and training exercises. The
groundwork had already been laid, as the Kuonjis were quite tough from
their years of traveling, and an oversized spatula wasn't that different
from a naginata in form (though a good sight more difficult to reverse
in mid-swing).
The Kuonji family prospered with this style of martial arts, being
capable of traveling into areas that no sane cook would ever dream of
entering and collecting debts from deadbeat customers with astonishing
rapidity. For better than five centuries, the style was kept within the
family, being passed from father to son (and occasionally daughter, for
the Kuonjis felt that their female children were just as good as their
male children) along with the secret recipes and preparation techniques
that made their food the best.
Within the last century, however, the family's fortunes went into
decline, even as Japan's fortunes increased. As the country became more
prosperous and unified, the rural and wilderness areas became less
dangerous, eliminating the need for martial arts chefs. Their culinary
skill was not enough to keep them afloat either, as the large food
chains began to develop and steal their business. The family kept the
style alive, true to the memory of Shin Kuonji and Shiri Masamune, in
the hopes that their fortunes would again improve.
When a wandering, hungry martial artist stumbled into the campsite of
Yoshi Kuonji, he had visions of it being like Shiri Masamune all over
again. He befriended this martial artist, and their children quickly
became best friends as well. One day, Yoshi and his friend were talking
about their children and hit upon the idea that since they were such
good friends and were of identical ages, perhaps Yoshi's daughter and
his friend's son should be affianced. His friend was leery at first,
informing Yoshi that his son was already promised in marriage to the
daughter of his old training partner. Yoshi, desperate and worried about
losing this "good omen", promised the okonomiyaki cart, a valuable relic
that had been passed down since the time of Shin Kuonji, as his
daughter's dowry if their children were married.
Genma Saotome couldn't help but agree. The unscrupulous Saotome's
promise turned out to be completely worthless when he ran off in the
night, leaving behind Yoshi's daughter, Ukyo, but taking the cart with
him. Yoshi was shattered and degenerated into a sad, old drunk, leaving
his daughter to essentially raise herself. Ukyo, convinced that it was
something she had done wrong that had driven away her only friend,
Ranma, decided that she would renounce her femininity. Ukyo spent the
next decade pretending to be a boy, until she finally felt that she was
skilled enough as a martial artist to seek vengeance for her family's
tarnished honor.
She hunted down Genma and proceeded to beat the living hell out of him,
but it wasn't enough. Convinced that Ranma had been complicit in her
desertion, she enrolled at his school and challenged him into a duel.
Stunned that his old friend would hate him so, Ranma refused until she
forced the matter; the duel that followed was brutal, but ended with no
major damage to either Ranma or Ukyo, just some mild bruises and burns.
Ranma managed to convince Ukyo that he had not been a part of her
betrayal, that indeed he had never known about the engagement; he also
admitted that he thought she was sort of cute and that it was a shame
she felt she had to pretend to be a boy. Ukyo immediately fell for her
old friend and started to romantically pursue him.
After she met Ranma's fiancee, Akane Tendo, and saw how the two of them
acted together, she realized that she didn't have a chance. That didn't
stop her from trying, or from being a good listener when Ranma had
problems, or from giving him free meals at her restaurant, Ucchan's
(Ranma's old childhood nickname for her). Ukyo nearly lost her mind when
Ranma and Akane got married, and she even disrupted their first attempt
by carrying a satchel full of bombs into the church where the ceremony
was being held. Eventually, though, Ranma and Akane did successfully wed.
Ukyo, finding herself with a good deal more time now that she wasn't
pursuing Ranma, not to mention making more profits now that Ranma wasn't
getting free meals all the time, decided to turn to new activites to
keep her mind occupied. Among other things, she began to invest money in
the stock market (with Nabiki Tendo as her consultant); with the money
she made, she was able to stop cooking full time, build an addition to
Ucchan's, and even hire a staff (Ryoga Hibiki worked there part-time
until he married Akari Unryuu and moved to the country to work on her
family's pig farm).
In the addition to Ucchan's, she included a dojo and began teaching her
family's ancient secrets to a small core of students who were interested
in both cooking and martial arts. With the small number of students who
were adept at both, there was little danger in the knowledge of
Kuonji-ryuu becoming widespread, and it served admirably at keeping Ukyo
herself busy.
The modern (after 1996) students of the Kuonji-ryuu are all personally
trained by Ukyo Kuonji; generally such students are at least moderately
wealthy, since the specialty weapons of the Kuonji-ryuu must all be
individually made (Ukyo's combat spatula was forged by Shiri Masamune
himself and is an irreplaceable one-of-a-kind artifact). Ukyo, being
something of a soft touch herself, will occasionally train a student for
free or even make a gift of a combat spatula to a particularly adept student.
Entrance Requirements: PS 14; PP 12; PE 10 Skill Cost: 6 years Costume: Black karate pants and a deep-blue or black shirt/blouse, with
a blue-black vest. The outfit is decorated by bows or ribbons at the
shoulders or elbows, and one is also usually worn in the hair to keep it
out of the eyes. Traditionally, a bandolier for spatula shurikens is
also worn over the outfit, which doubles as a hanger for the combat
spatula (carried on the back). Stance: A wide-legged, crouched stance with the combat spatula held
either low for upward strikes or at chest level for cross-wise or flat strikes.
CHARACTER BONUSES
Add 2 to P.S.
Add 1 to P.P.
Add 1 to P.E.
Add 15 to S.D.C.
COMBAT SKILLS Attacks per Melee: Three Escape Moves: Roll with Punch/Fall/Impact, Maintain Balance Basic Defensive Moves: Parry, Dodge, Automatic Parry Advanced Defenses: Circular Parry, Multiple Parry, Disarm, Combination
Parry/Attack Hand Attacks: Strike (Punch), Palm Strike Basic Foot Attacks: Kick Attack Special Attacks: Death Blow, Combination Strike/Parry, Leap Attack,
Elbow, Cluster Throw (Special, see below) Holds/Locks: Spatula Pin (Special, see below) Weapon Katas: WP Spatula (Special, see below), WP Kitchen Utensils
(Special, see below), WP Knife Modifiers to Attacks: Pull Punch, Knock-Out/Stun, Critical Strike,
Critical Strike from Behind
SKILLS INCLUDED IN TRAINING Martial Art Powers: Select a total of two powers from either Martial
Arts Techniques or Special Katas. In addition, select one power from
Body Hardening Exercises, with the exception of Chagi/Kick Practice. Languages: Japanese Cultural: Cooking (+10%); Cooking: Japanese Traditional (+25%) Physical: Athletics Philosophical Training: Ukyo Kuonji herself is a Buddhist, but does not
force her philosophical beliefs on others.
If Kuonji-ryuu is your primary martial art, then the following other
forms can be learned in a shorter time: Choy-Li-Fut Kung Fu (5 years),
Fu-Chiao Pai Kung Fu (4 years), Jujutsu (5 years), Kyokushinkai Karate
(5 years), Moo Gi Gong (6 years), Tai-Chi Ch'uan (6 years), T'ang-Su
Karate (6 years), Zanji Shinjinken-Ryu (6 years).
LEVEL ADVANCEMENT BONUSES Level 1: +2 to roll with punch, +1 to parry with spatulas and kitchen utensils,
+1 to dodge, Critical Strike on Natural 20, Critical Strike From Behind Level 2: +2 to disarm, +2 to Maintain Balance, Knock-Out/Stun on Natural 19-20 Level 3: +1 to strike with Spatula Pin, +1 to disarm, +1 to Maintain Balance,
+1 to strike with spatulas and kitchen utensils Level 4: +1 to dodge, Critical Striike on Natural 19-20, Knock-Out/Stun on
Natural 18-20 Level 5: +1 attack per melee, +1 to strike with Cluster Throw, +1 to pull punch Level 6: Select one additional martial arts power from among Body Hardening
Exercises, Special Katas, or Martial Arts Powers, +10 to SDC Level 7: +2 to strike, +1 to dodge, +1 to disarm Level 8: +1 attack per melee, +2 to roll with punch Level 9: +2 to damage, +1 to roll with punch, +2 to pull punch, +1 to strike
and parry with spatulas and kitchen utensils Level 10: Select one additional martial arts power from among Body Hardening
Exercises, Special Katas, or Martial Arts Powers, +20 to SDC Level 11: +1 to strike with Spatula Pin, +2 to strike with Cluster Throw, +1 to disarm Level 12: +1 attack per melee Level 13: +1 to roll with punch, +2 to pull punch, +1 to strike and parry with
spatulas and kitchen utensils Level 14: +1 to parry and dodge Level 15: +25 to SDC, +2 to damage, +2 to Maintain Balance
Why Study Kuonji-Ryuu?
If you enjoy cooking and martial arts, then the Kuonji-ryuu is the best
way to combine the two pusuits. No self-respecting chef would be caught
dead without some way to protect himself from all of the violent
disasters that can happen while preparing a good meal. Sure, Moo Gi Gong
can be adapted for use in the kitchen, but Kuonji-ryuu adds a much more
personal touch to self-defense while cooking. Not to mention that if you
like Japanese food this school can teach you some of the best recipes
known to man.
SPECIAL MANUEVERS Cluster Throw
With this maneuver, it is possible to throw a spread of missile weapons
at one or multiple targets in only one attack! Much like the
"multi-shuriken" throw that makes ninjas so deadly, a practitioner of
Kuonji-ryuu hurls several small missile weapons with deadly force in the
general direction of their enemy, hoping that one or two will strike. In
the case of the Kuonji-ryuu, however, these missile are almost always
small, blade-edged spatulas.
With one attack, a martial artist using the Cluster Throw may hurl up
to four small missile weapons (ie: shuriken, spatulas, forks, etc.).
Each missile beyond the first places a cumulative -1 penalty on the
attack roll; only one attack roll is made for all of the missles thrown,
but the penalty affects each missile individually. All missiles thus
thrown also have their damage reduced by one die type, down to a minimum of d4.
(Ex.: Ukyo decides to use the Cluster Throw against Ranma. She throws
her maximum number of spatulas with one action, four, and rolls to hit.
After all of her bonuses, the roll to hit is a 16; this means that the
first spatula hit with a 16, the next a 15, the third a 14, and the
final spatula a 13. Ranma manages to dodge with a 15, meaning that only
the very first spatula hits him. Thrown spatulas normally inflict 1d6
SDC, but since this attack was a Cluster Throw, the spatula that hit
Ranma does only 1d4 SDC.)
If no other weapon is being held, a martial artist using the Cluster
Throw may utilize both hands for the attack, hurling up to eight missile
weapons! However, this unwieldy throw is likely to strike much, as the
final missile will have a penalty of -7 to strike. Also, this attack
requires two melee actions to complete rather than one. Any "trick
shots" that the martial artist can do with a thrown weapon can also be
done with a Cluster Throw, including the Spatula Pin.
Spatula Pin
This attack functions identically to a normal weapon-based pinning
attack, save that it is done with a spatula or other sharp, pointed
kitchen utensils. Such an attack may pass through either the clothes or
a limb (ouch!). This attack requires a called shot, with a -2 penalty to
strike (-4 if the pin must pass through a limb); on a successful hit,
the victim is pinned and may not move from the spot they are pinned to.
If a limb has been pinned (either directly through the limb or by the
target's clothing), that limb may not be used until the weapon is
removed. Removal of a weapon requires two melee actions if the victim
continues to parry (a dodge is impossible), or only one if he does not
defend. Exceptionally strong characters may simply tear free of their
clothes with one action ond a successful PS check at one-half (or
three-fourths with supernatural strength) without sacrificing their
defense. Each extra weapon beyond the first used to pin the victim
requires one extra melee action to remove.
NEW WEAPON PROFICIENCIES W.P. Spatula
This proficiency covers the use of normal kitchen spatulas and
specially designed combat spatulas (normal-sized and over-sized). Normal
spatulas are only good for combat if they happen to be made of metal
(but no self-respecting chef would be caught dead with a plastic spatula
anyway); even so, they will undoubtedly break or bend after a few melees
of combat action, becoming completely useless for anything. Combat
spatulas do not have this problem, being designed for both fighting and
cooking. Small combat spatulas are designed for melee combat and
throwing, and so have no balance difficulties. Over-sized combat
spatulas are much larger and more unwieldy but can still be thrown at a
-4 penalty to strike.
Bonuses: +1 to strike and parry at levels 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 12, and 15. +1
to throw at levels 2, 4, 7, 10, 13, and 15.
W.P. Kitchen Utensils
This proficiency is training in the use of all normal kitchen utensils
except knives and spatulas as weapons. (See WP Knife and WP Spatula for
these other kitchen utensils.) Kitchen utensils are of benefit as
weapons in that they are both easily found and good for surprising an
opponent. ("A colander? Ha ha ha ha! Ha- Urk!") Unfortunately, these
items were not intended for use as weapons and generally tend to break
after one or two melees of combat action. As a general rule, every point
of damage inflicted by a normal kitchen utensil in a single attack gives
it a 10% chance of breaking; bladed kitchen utensils (meat cleavers,
butcher knives, etc.) have only a 5% chance per point of damage. Dishes
and other cermic items see this chance increased to 20% per point.
Combat-quality kitchen utensils can be garnered as special orders from
silverware companies and weaponsmiths, but the cost is anywhere from ten
to twenty times store price for a normal utensil.
Bonuses: +1 to strike and parry at levels 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, and 15.
+1 to throw at levels 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, and 15.
NEW WEAPONS Combat Spatulas
Small: This weapon is a slightly under-sized spatula made entirely of
metal, sometimes with a wrapped handle for easier grip. Small combat
spatulas are good as melee weapons or thrown weapons. They are easily
wielded in one hand, and can be used with the Cluster Throw ability.
Throwing range is as per the wielder's PS. These spatulas have an
average length of ten inches and weigh about a pound. Damage: 1d6 SDC.
Large: Over-sized combat spatulas are wielded in two hands and are
essentially oddly-shaped naginatas or a type of polearm. These weapons
may be used as slashing/cutting weapons or as blunt/crushing weapons.
Due to the non-aerodynamic nature of a spatula, a failed blunt attack
will result in overbalancing; if a Maintain Balance roll is not made
(with the target nunber being the wielder's roll to hit), then the next
melee action is lost in recovering (can still defend, but not attack).
However, a successful blunt attack from this weapon will result in the
victim being knocked down unless a Maintain Balance roll is made. Large
combat spatulas have an average length of five to six feet, with the
spatula head being roughly three feet wide at its widest. Depending on
the material used in its construction, a large combat spatula can weigh
between eight and twelve pounds. Damage: 2d8 (slashing) or 2d6 (blunt).
Kitchen Utensils
The chart below shows the general length and damage of normal, mundane
kitchen utensils, including various types of kitchen knife.
