The barbarian chieftain said: "What then are the greatest things that a man may find in life?"
The man on his right thoughtfully drank his cocktail of mare's milk and snowcat blood, and spoke thus: "The crisp horizon of the steppe, the wind in your hair, a fresh horse under you."
The man on his left said: "The cry of the white eagle in the heights, the fall of snow in the forest, a true arrow in your bow."
The chieftain nodded, and said: "Surely it is the sight of your enemy slain, the humiliation of his tribe and the lamentation of his women."
There was a general murmur of whiskery approval at this outrageous display.
Then the chieftain turned respectfully to his guest, a small figure carefully warming his chilblains by the fire, and said: "But our guest, whose name is legend, must tell us truly: what are they that a man may call the greatest things in life?"
"What shay?" he said, toothlessly.
"I said: what are they that a man may call the greatest things in life?"
The guest thought long and hard and then said, with great deliberation: "Hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper."
- Cohen the Barbarian, "The Light Fantastic"
Entrance Requirements: P.S. and P.E. of 13, P.P. of 10, and M.E. of 12 or higher. No Alignment Restrictions.
Skill Cost: 9 Years (5 Years as a Secondary Form)
CHARACTER BONUSES