Neko lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She�d been here for hours, and even Mi-chan was in bed, but she couldn�t fall asleep.
How could she love Jasper so much, but not really love him at all, she wondered. *It�s like he said � the kiss was brotherly. He�s more like your big brother than your boyfriend.* She had gotten it all wrong. He had been her protector, her confidant, her person to keep her warm in the cold of the woods. Nothing more. It wasn�t until she asked for more that she had found herself disappointed. Which all meant that there must be something better for her out there.
Tell Tenshi-san she�s a lucky girl.
Neko had hated Tenshi. But now she feared that she only hated her as a result of loving her. Both emotions required so much passion � how had she managed to find that passion within herself unless it had already existed there?
Everyone said she was supposed to be in love with Tenshi. She couldn�t deny that the symptoms were there. Her first reaction to Tenshi had been one of attraction. Hadn�t she wanted Tenshi to be her boyfriend? Hadn�t she been enamored of Night Angel? He had certainly stolen her heart within the brief time she had been around him. How could she accept that so easily when Tenshi was the same person?
Before Tenshi had kissed her, Neko had been so taken with her. She had loved talking to her, and never wanted their time together to end. But if it was true that Tenshi loved her, that they had loved each other before, how hard must it have been for Tenshi to talk to Neko as if they were merely friends? How many times had she cut their time short in order to avoid just exactly what had happened? She remembered how Tenshi had reacted the other night when they had been stargazing. Neko had been delighted by every moment of it. It had all been so natural. But it must have been killing Tenshi to be so close to her � in such a romantic setting too. And she had left before she could act on any desires she must have had.
Neko hadn�t let her, but she had tried to leave at the reflecting pool too� all to spare Neko. It was Neko who was to blame for making her stay, for putting her in the position they had ended up in.
*Back at the pool of koi* she thought, at least managing to amuse herself for a moment with the pun.
Why couldn�t she accept this? Why couldn�t she forgive Tenshi as easily as she apparently had forgiven Jasper and Jian-wa for what one would think should be worse crimes? She was unaware of just how much of Mi-chan�s stubbornness had rubbed off on her impressionable mind over the week.
She glanced over at her sister. Maybe she could get a little peace of mind, she hoped. �Mi-chan?� she called in a low whisper.
Mi-chan opened her eyes. �Hai.�
�I�m sorry I yelled at you.�
Mi-chan closed her eyes and smiled kindly. �Is that why you�re still awake? Don�t worry about it. I probably deserved it anyway. As it happened, Tenshi-kun didn�t show anyway. Remind me to chew her out tomorrow, okay?�
Relief and exhaustion overtaking her, Neko simply nodded before settling down to fall asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mi-chan stopped by the choir room after auto-shop to pick up her sisters. Neko seemed very cheerful as she exited the classroom.
�Ready to go home?� Mi-chan asked as they joined her.
�Oh,� Neko frowned. �I wanted to do pole vault today.�
�Sorry, Neko-chan, you don�t have practice today, just on Tuesdays and Thursdays,� Kimahou told her. And then just to make sure Neko knew that it wasn�t one of those days (the week had been kinda weird), she said, �Today�s Friday.�
�I know, but Tenshi-kun said yesterday that we could practice again today.�
�Well, if Tenshi-kun said so�,� Mi-chan said, starting to push Kimahou down the hall. �We�ll just leave you to her then.�
She pulled Kimahou off to get Chibi before the younger girl could say anything, jubilant that Neko was not only planning on spending time with Tenshi, but actually happy about it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mi-chan was not very subtle about her excitement over Neko seeing Tenshi. But Neko wouldn�t have gone near Tenshi today if not for the promise of more pole vault. That alone was the draw, she told herself.
At least, she did until she saw Tenshi, still in her school uniform, going the opposite direction.
�Tenshi-kun, where are you going?�
Tenshi looked surprised to be addressed by her at all. �I have to take Puroko home, and then I have voice.�
Neko�s face fell. �But you said- I thought we were going to practice some more today.�
�Oh, that�s all you wanted,� Tenshi said dryly. �Well, sorry, but I can�t.�
Neko didn�t understand why Tenshi�s attitude had changed so much from the day before. Had she finally gotten fed up with waiting for Neko to like her? Neko didn�t want that. Not anymore.
�Matte!� Neko grabbed her arm.
�What do you want from me, Koneko?� Tenshi sighed. �If I don�t come for her soon, Puroko will get antsy. I can�t stay.�
�I want- I need�� Neko realized she wasn�t going to get Tenshi to change her mind. ��a ride home,� she finished weakly, remembering that Mi-chan had stranded her here.
�Fine, but I�ll have to stop at home first for Puroko. And to change.� She pulled her arm away and walked brusquely to the front of the school, Neko tagging along.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was killing Tenshi to have Neko sitting in the backseat of her car right now. But Puroko thought it was the best thing in the world. She was especially interested in Neko�s condition.
�So you really don�t remember me at all, Neko-san?� she wanted to know.
�Sorry,� Neko answered.
�You don�t remember giving me your favorite ice cream when we met?� Neko shook her head. �Coming to the airport to see me and Tenshi leave?�
�Iie.�
�Giving me a World Cup sweatshirt for Christmas?�
�Gomen nasai.�
Puroko�s lip began to quiver. �Don�t you remember my Christmas present for you?�
Tenshi sent her a quizzical look. �You gave her something?�
Puroko slumped back into her chair and crossed her arms grumpily. �Hai, but no one remembers.�
Neko reached over the seat and touched Puroko gently on the arm. �Puroko-chan, I would love to know what you gave me.�
Puroko glanced indecisively at Tenshi. �I�ll tell you as a secret,� she said coyly.
If she wasn�t in such a bad mood, Tenshi probably would have had trouble not laughing as Neko leaned forward, and Puroko whispered into her ear. She had no clue what it was. Puroko hadn�t brought anything for Neko to the party. Her interest was further piqued as Neko�s eyes widened.
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