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Improvements in Parenting are Real

Robert B. McFarland
The Journal of Psychohistory V. 25, N. 3, Winter 1998

As Lloyd deMause pointed out in his talk in Boulder last September, "the evolution of childhood from incest to love and from abuse to empathy has been a slow, uneven task, but one whose progressive direction is, I think, unmistakable."1 While improvements in parenting have occurred at a slow, erratic rate throughout recorded history, the pace is, I think, beginning to quicken. I'm reminded of Diogenes' quip,

Give up philosophy because I'm an old man? It's at the end of a race that you break into a burst of speed.2

Improvements in parenting practices can now be measured in decades rather than in centuries. Since Sweden banned hitting children in 1979, Norway, Finland, Denmark, and Austria have followed. This novel idea might spread into English-speaking countries, and if it were touted on CNN the whole world would be watching.

Murray Straus and Richard Gelles surveyed parental attitudes in the United States in 1975 and again in 1985. They questioned 3,000 families each year, and the percent of parents who admitted to "severely disciplining" their children (i.e., severe physical punishment) fell from 3.6 percent to 1.9 percent in ten years.

Just as the actual improvements in the way we raise children are erratic, so too are the methods of measuring our progress. Many groups that help children exist primarily on funds that they raise by stressing the sad state of childhood. They are not likely to proclaim the improvements that occur for fear they won't be able to raise money to continue the good work.

Infant mortality rates are probably the best single yardstick to measure the rate of improvement in children's lives. This is the number of children dying in the first year of life per 1,000 live births. The graph below shows that our progress in the United States in one lifetime has been erratic but remarkable. In the Roaring Twenties, ten times as many babies died each year. It looks as though the rate might level off around a rate of 7 or 8 per 1,000. Japan and the Scandinavian countries have rates half again as low. We have our work cut out for us.

U.S. Infant Mortality Rates.

Many children's groups point out that reports of abuse and neglect keep increasing: one reported a 49 percent increase from 1986 to 1995. Since child abuse reporting wasn't required until 1976, we are just beginning to understand the problem. In no way can we report all the abuse that occurs, just as we have no way to report all the other crime that occurs. When abuse is reported, it becomes possible to prevent it, so increasing reports of abuse are to be appreciated. In Boulder County, the reports of abuse increase each year and the severity of the reported abuse is steadily decreasing.

Much has been made of the fact that reported suicides among children have tripled in the past 30 years. The increase has been so dramatic that sensible people should look for the artifacts in the reporting system instead of scapegoating the kids. In his book, The Scapegoat Generation, Mike Males explains that suicide rates have probably been constant during this period, but in earlier decades they were often listed as accidental deaths. As the number of reported suicides increased, the number of accidental deaths decreased proportionally.4

We have measured the rates of children's injuries that are serious enough to lead to hospitalization. These are usually due to auto accidents, and these injuries have steadily decreased for 15 years. Similarly, the national rate of children's deaths from auto accidents has been decreasing.5 This nugget of good news has been ignored by the national media and pundits of all political persuasions.

Many children still lead miserable lives, and the great majority of children are still treated as inferiors by their parents, teachers, and many adults. There are plenty of ways to improve our parenting practices and the lives of our children. Home visiting programs for new mothers, usually provided by volunteer older mothers, are probably the most cost-effective way to improve parenting. Such programs are springing up so rapidly all over the country that no one knows how many exist and how many children are being helped.

We can do more for our children, and we will.

Robert B. McFarland, M.D., is Chairman of the National Parenting Conference http//.bcn.boulder.co.us/~fells/parenting.html , founder of The Parenting Place, and Contributing Editor to this Journal, and can be reached at 2300 Kalmia, Boulder, CO 80304.

1. Lloyd deMause, this issue.

2. Diogenes of Sinope, as quoted by Guy Davenport, Herakleitos and Diogenes. Bolinas, Calif.: Grey Fox Press, 1979, p. 59.

3. Murray Straus and Richard Gelles, "Societal Change and Changes in Family Violence from 1975 to 1985 As Revealed by Two National Surveys." Journal of Marriage and the Family 48(1986): 465 - 479.

4. Mike Males, The Scapegoat Generation: America's War on Adolescents. Monroe, Maine: Common Courage Press, 1996, pp. 233- 237

5. Robert B. McFarland and John Fanton, "Moving Towards Utopia: Prevention of Child Abuse." The Journal of Psychohistory 24(1997): 320-331.

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