Death of a human

The words you spoke,
Are meaningless to you,
Yet not to me.

You're playing with my mind, my soul,
Forming tormented tears,
On a tortured heart.

The words you speak,
Have no meaning to you,
For your heart is cold.

Shivers running down my spine,
Evoking the long lost Anger,
Waiting for her call.

It was you who called,
Not me,
I cannot send her back.

Tormented souls,
Are lined upon your shelf,
Giving you your "Power."

But oh you are so wrong,
Power isn't anything,
Without a caring soul.

Your soul has died,
And thanks to you,
So have I.

November 16, 2000

Shadows are overwhelming,
The stages of my life.
No ray of light,
Peers through Darkness.

Solid is your view,
It cannot melt.

The sun is shinning,
But not on me.
Rain solely falls,
Down on me.

The steady rhythm,
From the door across.
Creates consolling fairness,
As you stopped my life.

November 16, 2000
The longer I sit around the table
The more I start to realize that nobody
Indisputably understands what life is really like for me
The way I perceive things so erroneously
Is something they would never be able to descry
The days of joy and happiness
I don't seem to know nor can I recall
For I have never seen them
The glares burning my heart to ashes
Thrown around the world of sorrow
I want a smile
I need a smile
But you have taken it away
Away into a world of benightedness
Not considering your own listlessness
You took to drastic measures
I hear the words you say you never said
I know the thoughts you think you claim you never thought
You are a shadow without flesh
You are the wind on a quiescent day
You say you are there but nobody can see nor hear you
Not one can even evoke
A long lost memory
Of ever having touched or heard you
For you aren't real
You only believe that you are
An illusion tormentiously
Killing your victims
For you are Danger
Lurking behind the wall of freedom
You are Deception
Hidden beneath the mask of sincerity
You are Depression
Concealed by mirth
You are Dénouement
Ending at the start
You are Duress
Overlaid by honesty

You are who you are
But not me

   December 17th 2000

Standing there so still,
As the water pours down on me.
For an instant I am happy,
I feel safe.

As the water stops,
My life seems close to ending.
An overwhelming obsession,
Takes over my soul, my body.

My mind occupied,
Yet I do not know with what.
The people walking by,
Staring at me without emotion.

I’m a freak, a failure,
I do not belong on this earth.
The compulsion attacks without mercy,
As yet again the water pours down my face.

June 20th 1999
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