You may be obsessed with Jonathan Davis if...
You dedicate an entire section of your wall to his pictures
You refuse to answer to anything but "Mrs. Jonathan Davis"
You plan a pilgrimage to Bakersfield, California
You actually go on a pilgrimage to Bakersfield, California
You have "Property of Jonathan Davis" tatooed on your ass.
Your wardrobe consists of Puma tracksuits and leather kilts
You have "edited" your bible to read "jonathan" in place of "God"
You actually start a site dedicated to Jon, or write a you might be obsessed list
January 18th is the holiest day of the year.
You routinely dedicate "I touch myself" to Jon on the radio
You had a Jon cake for your birthday and the piece with his face on it is starting to rot in your bedroom
You have an imaginary friend named Jonathan, and he's in a band too.
Jon works his way into all your homework.
You dressed up as Jon for Halloween
You can sing along with Twist
You join every Jon Davis fan club on the Web.
You name your pets anything pertaining to Jon.
You were elected "Most likely to marry Jonathan Davis" in your yearbook.
You have puma's that say "scottish pride"
You sleep with the korn doll
You snuff anyone who disses jon
You love jon more then your boyfriend
Jon Davis pops up in every conversation you have with anyone
You vow not to leave your room ever if jon dies
You love scottish people
You cut out your boyfriend in all those couple shots and replace them with Jon.
You will NOT go to bed without first giving your teddy bear "JonJon" his goodnight kiss.
You buy a ring from those quarter machines and swear its a gift from Jon.
You can't leave your room without saying goodbye to each Jon pic on your wall and tell them you'll be back soon so they don't get "lonely."
You have his pic beside the speedometer in your car.
You constantly have ongoing one-way converstions with his photos.
You sit at the mirror and pretend your conversing with him.
When scoping out guys, you always compare them to Jon and criticize them because they can never reach his god-like status.
The mentioning of the word "Jon" in ANY convo sends butterflies to your stomach.
You can recite his bio like the star spangled banner.
You only eat foods that you can easily spell out the word "Jon" with
You tell your loving boyfriend that the only guy you'd cheat on him with is Jon. (your boyfriend might be obsessed with Jon if he says he understands)
You use your computer to edit Deven out of that otherwise pimpin picture of Jon.(you know, the one where he's wearing all black)
You build a Korn site but end up with 80 pictures of Jon and 5 each of the rest of the band
When you are dating a guy who looks just like Jon
When your boyfriend has the same first and last name as Jon(but he do not has the middle damnit)
When your boyfriend is in a good korn cover band
When you hate the fact that other kids think he is Jon and try to take time away from YOU
When you are dead set on believing that "My Gift To You" is for you when he is singing it
When you refuse to think of your boyfriend as anyone but THE Jonathan H Davis
you send a letter to the crayola corporation requesting that they rename the black crayon "Jonathan"
You propose getting rid of a month and putting "Jonathan" in instead.
The letters J O A T H and N are fading away on your keyboard.
If you have a website titled "The Ultimate Joanthan Davis Picture Website" that you update weekly because you have close to 200 Jonathan Davis pictures.
If you have to kiss a picture of Jonathan Davis as a Junior in High School before you leave your room.
If you plan on being in a KoRn cover band.
If you dated a guy that was a jerk because he looked IDENTICAL to the early Jonathan Davis.
When you have at least 50-255 different e-mail adresses at the www.jonathandavis.com email place.
when your screen name is jondavisluvzme
If you record Jon screaming on a tape and put in clips of you moaning and say to people this is what Jon's love making is like
If you plan to call your child Jonathan Houseman
If the only reason you plan to have a child is so that you can call it Jonathan Houseman, just to show your dedication
If you write a diary and dedicate it to Jon, so it would be "Dear Jon...I love you"
If you write Jon letters
If you stare continuously at pictures of him
If you plan to send him christmas pressies
If you buy some bagpipes and go to bed with them
Every night all your dreams consist of Jon in one way or another
One of your friends tells you that you have a substitute teacher named Mr. Davis and you throw a fit and start asking absurd questions. (i.e. Does he have black hair? Is his first name Jon?)
You have Jonathan Davis wallpaper custom made. (yes, the wall paper you put on your walls)
your favorite number is 11871. (1-18-71. Jon's birthday.)
You compose a song and call it the Jonathan Davis Overture.
You make a special cake and call it Jonathan upside down cake.
You become an assistant coroner because that's Jon profession beside being a rockstar
You read all books by Patricia Cornwell with coroner Kay Scarpetta.
You think you're a genius because you saw the Corn (Korn! Jon! Ahhh...) in Patricia's Cornwell surname
If you have a pair of boxers with a picture of jon on the ass
When you make sure you're child is born on the same day Jon was
You vowed to be a genetic scientist in order to create a clone of Jonathan Davis
How about the simple fact that you read lists like these ???
Every morning you eat a full bowl of fruit loops for Jon, since he likes them so much, as a sacrifice
You have risked your own consiousness for Jon by hanging upside down for the entire Shoots and Ladders song
You have already pierced your right eyebrow three times and have gone with the black dreaded hair look, your next mission is to buy out a store that sells ADIDAS tracksuits
You talk about Jon so much people start to think you're related
When 99% of your day you think 'I wonder what jons doing right now?'
When you talk about jon like he's your best friend
When people ask what type of music you listen to, you reply, "korn" (I know its not just jon but c'mon you can be obsessed with the whole band)
If somebody asks if your obsessed with jon davis and you say, "of course"
If you KNOW what Jon's doing right now
When you throw a fit when someone changes a korn song, even if they're gonna change it to another korn song, or you've listened to that one 10 times in a row.
You would rather masturbate to a Korn video (look at Jonathan) instead of watching a porno.
When you like to put on a Korn CD while having sex.
You actually make a Korn Doll (yes his name is Kornelious and besides Jon, he is God)
You know every fact about Jon all the way down to the fact that he used to claimed he was a Skitzo
You decide your never going to marry unless it's to Jon Davis
If you would tattoo "JON LOVES ME" on your forehead willingly!
Your friends only give you gifts on christmas and your birthday that have Jonathan in their name.
If on his birthday you bake him a cake, buy those little number candles that say 30, put the candles on the cake, light them and sing happy birthday to him and then blow them out for him.
Jonathan's actions affect yours. In other words, when he's happy, you're happy; when he's sad, you're sad; if he's pissed off about something, you're bound to be pissed off about it too; etc.
Some of your old friends can't stand you anymore because you're so obsessed
You have tied a flannel shirt around your waist and ran around the house saying it was a kilt
Your friend says that you and jonathan should go out since you know him too well
If you put contact or laminate every picture you have of Jonathan because you don't want the bluetack to destroy it and make it last forever.
You keep a nightlight in your room so your Jon pictures "won't get scared" when you aren't there at night
You sit on the internet for hours trying to break into Jon's phone number
You successfully find the word "jon" in every word search you do
You play the abc game on you soda can tabs and keep all the tabs that broke off on "j"
You pick every dandielion in your yard and rip them apart repeating "jon loves me, jon loves me not," and always make sure it ends on "jon loves me"
You check the Capricorn horoscope every day to see whats in for Jon.
You look for Jon in the clouds.
You name a bar of soap 'Jon' and relish every second it touches your body.
You go and spend $700 on a trench coat because Jon wore something like it...once...
When you tell everyone he has AIDS just so they dont like him.
Everytime I hear bagpipes, I cry and think of Jon
Your favorite number is 101514 (Jon in number form)
You are willing to stalk jonathan davis in order to get a restraining order just so you can say you saw him and got his signature, plus you'll be stuck in his brain as the freaky girl who stalked him for a year.
You find out where he lives and steal his mail and show your friends saying you live with Jon and show the mail as proof.
You move in next to him and knock on his door to borrow a cup of sugar or something every day.
You name your hamster Jonathan Davis
You argue with your friends over which version of jonathan is hotter, brown hair or black hair.
You feel that it is your duty to tell jonathan that he should go on a diet.
You argue with your boyfriend when he makes a mean comment about jonathan, defending him to the point that your boyfriend gets pissed off and goes home.
You are friends with someone just because when they call you J. Davis pops up on the caller ID.
You are going out with someone with the last name of Davis, and you vow to marry them so you can tell people you're actually married to Jon.
You carve Jonathan Davis into any body part of yours
You say Jonathan in bed when you are making love to someone else
You have actually made the doll on one of the many Issues covers.
Whenever someone mentions Jon is married to someone else, you say "Oh no thats just a clever ploy to conceil our love"
ALL Jon Davis posters are laminated and THEN taped with the clearest scotch(for obvious reasons ;) ) tape so not one bit of the Jon's KoRny goodness is covered
You REFUSE to accept Korn as a spelling of the band, and only accept KoRn(with the R facing forward) when you cannot get a backwards 'R'
You go apeshit whenever someone calls the toilet the John
When asked do you believe in god you reply, yes and his name is Jonathan Davis
You name you guitar (or any other instrument) after Jon.
If you're reading a play in English class and a character is name Jon, you beg to play him.
You download interviews with Jonathan from the internet and burn them onto c.d.'s for your listening pleasure
You write "Jonathan Davis" as your name on every paper you turn in at school, and are failing because your teachers think you never turn in homework.
You just bought a new computer, but already used up most of the memory on Jonathan pictures.
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