Toronto Star, March 01, 2006
Short still stands tall
By: Richard Ouzounian
When Martin Short dances through the aisles of the Royal Alexandra Theatre, you know it's no ordinary morning.
And indeed, the crowd of media and subscribers who sat in delighted bafflement yesterday as the Hamilton-born comedian careened around them weren't witnessing your average Mirvish subscription season launch.
Four of the seven shows were previously revealed in the Star: Monty Python's Spamalot, Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me, Legends and Orpheus Descending.
The three surprises were the return to Toronto of the longest running show in this city's history, The Phantom of the Opera; a revival of the 1972 Stephen Schwartz/Bob Fosse musical Pippin, and a presentation of Theatre Gargantua's provocative look at life in the Internet age, E-Dentity.
Joan Collins and Linda Evans swept on stage to the music from Dynasty, serving notice that big glamour and big hair would both be part of Legends, the James Kirkwood comedy they'll star in this September.
On the other hand, Orpheus Descending stars Seana McKenna and Jonathan Goad were consummately Canadian, swapping jokes about how they had to purchase the clean undergarments they were wearing at the drugstore because of their crazy work schedules.
Cameron Mackintosh and Stephen Schwartz appeared on film to flog (respectively) Phantom and Pippin, while the cast of E-Dentity acted out a small scene from their highly physical theatre piece.
That left the stage ready for Short. With Hairspray composer Marc Shaiman looking like a piano-playing hobbit who had escaped from a Lord of the Rings rehearsal next door, the "Ritalin-deprived" Short burst from the wings to grab the audience by the scruff of their necks and shake them into hysterical laughter.
He performed two of the outrageously funny numbers Shaiman (and his partner Scott Wittman) had written for him: a mock-Godspell ditty called "Stepbrother De Jesus" (complete with leper jokes) and an Elaine Stritch-ian ballad of rehab survival called "Twelve Step Pappy."
During the last number, Short literally danced through the audience while seeming to hold a note longer than Ethel Merman in her heyday.
Afterwards, Short unwound in the theatre's lounge as he told the Star more about his piece.
"Our timing is great," he enthused, "now that James Frey has come along and got everybody doubting everything. It's all about sleaze and revelation and self-humiliation," shouted Short like a demented revivalist, before breaking into a grin: "Of course it helps if you sing it."
He breaks into an a cappella version of another song from the show:
"The days of Brice and Jolson are long gone, alas!
Just show them all your mug shot and the crack pipe up your ass."
Things were just as outrageous at the other end of the room, where Joan Collins, resplendent in a cleavage-baring red dress, was holding forth about her role as Sylvia in Legends.
"Yes," she throbbed in that made-for-phone-sex voice of hers, "I'm playing Sylvia, the bitchy, witchy one. What a surprise! Tell me, darling," she asked, leaning forward, looking about half of her 72 years, "why do I always play tramps and hookers and tarts?"
She didn't wait for an answer but went right into a discussion of how the big Act II catfight between her and Evans should be staged.
"I know they originally ripped each other's wigs off, but I think that's been done to death. Let's try ripping off something else." Her eyes sparkled. "Like our clothes."