You know, it really wasn't my fault - how how would I, who hasn't seen Richard Templecamp since I was fourteen, have any fucking real idea what his sexual orientation is? He could be straight as the day is long. Let's all remember that gay can be both a lifestyle, and a figurative state of suckiness. Don't peg me down to one meaning, man. And more importantly, how was I to know Richard Templecamp, whom I haven't seen since I was fourteen, would only have ONE google hit? Anyway, although you may not know these people I'm talking about, you know the story. It's a deep story that resonates somewhere inside us all, probably in the genetic code, or the pancreas.
In order to make it up to Richard Templecamp, we're bringing you this new Luggage Van feature: An instructional lesson in how to sign a guestbook, and be the best guestbook signer you can be! And you can only be the best guestbook signer by being Richard Templecamp! Since we here at TLV believe in the monkey see, monkey do, school of teaching, here are some examples that we hope you can live up to. In fact, the best monkeys might even choose to glorify Richard's name as we did. Help him achieve more Google hits, guys.
Richard. We apologise for besmirching your name.
1. Start small in your guestbook signing. Try the website or web log ("blog") of an acquaintance.
17 minutes ago
Richard Templecamp
mmmmjec; Jimmy Hoffa flees from the bathroom
I have a site all about Mjec, ELI CORDOVER!!! My site is awesome. My name is Richard and I can't stop thinking about Mjec. This guy-show is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
I love Mjec with all of my body (including my pee pee). Mjec are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he don't give a crap, but on the other hand, Mjec are
very careful and precise. Mjec flips out ALL THE TIME. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
2. Move on to an obscure celebrity who might be desperate for your lovin'.
Name: Richard Templecamp
E-mail: [email protected]
Location: New Zealand
Date: July 30, 2005, 9:46 am
I have a site all about Seamus, SEAMUS FINNIGAN!!! My site is awesome. My name is Richard and I can't stop thinking about Seamus. This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
I love Seamus with all of my body (including my pee pee). Seamus are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he don't give a crap, but on the other hand,
Seamus are very careful and precise. Seamus flips out ALL THE TIME. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
3. Congratulations, you have progressed to the television.
7/30/2005 7:14:57 AM
Name: Richard Templecamp
Email: [email protected]
Where are you from? New Zealand
Home Page: Th Luggage Van
Reference: From a Friend
Rate this site: Great
Comments: I have a site all about Mash, M*A*S*H!!! My site is awesome. My name is Richard and I can't stop thinking about Mash. This tv show is cool;
and by cool, I mean totally sweet. I love Mashwith all of my body (including my pee pee). Mash are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand it don't give a
crap, but on the other hand, Mash are very careful and precise. Mash flips out ALL THE TIME. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
4. Well done! Now you are ready to tackle
a major celebrity from shows such as Nightrider, Baywatch, and the Spongebob Squarepants Movie!
Name: Richard Templecamp
Email: [email protected]
Home Page: The Luggage Van
I have a site all about the Hoff, DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! My site is awesome. My name is Richard and I can't stop thinking about the Hoff. This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
I love David Hasselhoff with all of my body (including my pee pee). Sid Hoffman are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he don't give a crap, but on the
other hand, the Hoff are very careful and precise. David flips out ALL THE TIME. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
5. You have passed all hurdles but this. Now you can finally approach the guestbook of
a shameful fandom.
Richard Templecamp [@] [www]
I have a site all about Sparrington, SPARROW AND NORRINGTON!!! My site is awesome. My name is Richard and I can't stop thinking about Sparrington.
This guy-show is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet. I love Sparrington with all of my body (including my pee pee). Sparrington are the ultimate
paradox. On the one hand it don't give a crap, but on the other hand, Sparrington are very careful and precise. Sparrington flips out ALL THE TIME.
And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
Saturday, July 30th 2005 - 01:36:44 PM
The road has been hard and long, but you are now ready to call yourself a guestbook signer. It may be a tough journey - but a website
which removes your post is a hint you are on the RIGHT track in your signing, my friends! You simply must persist in what you know to be the TRUE and JUST actions
and one day, your guestbook signings will bear fruit.