Floridian Dreams




By Mostly Anonymous



This was written by one of the glorious main Luggage Van contributers as part of an anti-racism spoof site, found at The Patriotik Yoof League, run by Cam and his compadres. We're not sure if that's a good thing, or not.


Gobbels lay reclining on his lawn chair. It was a hot day. The sun beat down on him like flames. A drop of sweet trailed down his bare, frail chest, which time had takin its toll on. Suddenly a shadow was cast over him like a cloud over the fericious son.

"Gobbels... Did you feed sparky?"

Gobbels blinked up at the silhuette. It was outlined by that hot, hot sun.

The silhuette sighed. "You know what he gets like when we don't fed him properly."

"I'm sorry, my Fuhrer. It was so hot that I forgot."

Hitler sat down on the verdant grasses beside Gobells chair. "Yes, even for Floridia, this is unusual weather. So humid."

"Correct, Fuhrer."

Hitler ran a hand through his now-greying hair and then absently trailed a finger over his small, grey moustach.

Gobbels sighed inwardly. All these years and the Fuhrer still commanded such a presence. His body, currently clad in shorts and a loose, colourful shirt, was still muscular - though his eyes held less sparkle than they had so many years ago when their dreams were bright and sparkled, too.

"It is all right. Sparky can go a few more minutes. He seems to be enjoying the pond today."

The two elderly germans both looked down by the watre were Sparky was playing happily, swimming to and fro and sometimes splashing with his long, reptilian tale. Then Hitler looked back at Gobbels with a strange expression.

"Perhaps you ought to go inside, my friend. You are evidently very hot out her."

Gobbels looked down in confusion. He could see that his tanned skin was glistening in the sun. When he gazed back up at Hitler there was something in Hitler's eyes that made his breath catch.

"Fuhrer... Is everything all right?"

"...The heat..." Hitler murmured. He shook his head as if to clear some thoughts.

"I'll..." Gobbels stuttered. "I'll go fed sparky." He stood, abruptly, feeling his Fuhrer's eyes on his retreeting back.

A few moments later Gobbels stood by the alligator's pond, slowly feeding bits of meet to their pet. Sparky seemed to grin at the reception of the raw, bloody beef that Hitler and Gobbels purchased in bulk.

Gobbels sighed. He was such a fool. All these years at Hitler's side, spent in quiet torture. Why could he never get a clear signal? Had he wasted all these years in elaborate imaginings?

"Oh Sparky..." he murmured. "You're so uncomplicated."

Gobbels heard footsteps behind him. "Was it something I said?" the Fuhrer questioned, tenderly.

"N-no - " Gobbels murmured.

They stood in silence for a few moments as Sparky swam back and forth in front of them, trying to cox another piece of meet for his lunch.

"Gobbels - "

"Yes, mein Fuhrer?"

"Our younger days were filled with such glory."

"Ja." Gobbels agreed. He scrunched his brow. Where was the Fuhrer going with this?

"We had such powerful dreams."

"...Ja."

A few more moments passed in silence. Gobbels slid a hand into the pocket of his shorts, trying to feign relaxation.

"More and more these days, Gobbels, I only have one dream that recurs..."

Hitler turned to face his old accomplice. "It, too, is veyr powerful."

Gobbels felt afraid to look up. Hitler reached out and slowly, softly, grasped Gobbels' chin, tilting his face upwards.

"Do you know who that dream stars, mein lieber alter Freund?"

Gobbels felt feint, and it wasnt from the heat.

"...It stars you, Gobbels."

Hitler leaned in slowly and carressed Gobbels' lips with his own.

Gobbels suppresed a giggle. Hitler's distinguished moustach tickled slightly.

Hitler felt Gobbels relax and suddenly pulled him closer, proving this his body was indeed still firm - and in places it wasn't always.

"Oh, Hitler..." Gobbels mumured.

In the alligator pond, Sparky swished his tail, a little confused. His masters seemed to be in pain, but it wasn't his place to interfere.




Saucy Fics

The Luggage Van


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