�Hi Gill!� I said in my most enthusiastic tone of voice, thinking about all those lonely winter nights without Gill.
�Hi Anita. How�s tricks?� he said in an equally enthusiastic voice. He was probably thinking about all those hot and steamy summer nights without... Anita. What a dream boat, his smell is incense burning. It was an intoxicating mix of vanilla and fox... Were-fox. Mmmmm, boy howdy! He can dig my burrow any day. I realised there had been a long silence, a long, yet sexy silence. I decided to break it.
�Gill, clean up some vomit and get me some coffee with cream,� I said knowingly, knowing he would get me coffee and clean up some vomit, which belongs to Nathaniel. That were-leopard, always getting naked and vomiting. Like he thinks we�re living in some sort of �Camp Good-times.� He�s a maze of curiosity! Which I am constantly lost in, and sometimes, I don�t want to escape from.
In walked Edward, into my office, wearing a trenchcoat.
�Edward,� I said to Edward, �It�s just not trenchcoat weather,� I said, as it was not trench coat weather. It was a sweaty July day, the kind that makes you want to throw off all your clothes and dance in the rain, with Jean-Claude... Or Nathaniel, that boy just loves to get naked, often in the most awkward of places.
�I can take it off,� he said knowingly, knowing he could indeed take it off, and place it on the back of the chair, and that is just what he proceeded to do. Under his trenchcoat he wore a Scottish outfit which consisted of a kilt and presumably a Scottish top... More like blouse. SHAZAMM. Wait, something wasn�t right, or at least, fully explained in close detail - what were these two gents doing in my office on this cold December morn?
�Gill!� I shouted at Gill, �what in carnations are you doing in my office in chaps and a purple anorak?�
�Cleaning a puke some!� he replied knowingly, knowing that he was indeed cleaning up puke. He broke my heart, to know that this was his rationale for being here. How I longed for Gill. I knew that it would break Gill�s heart even more to know that the office had a cleaner - the office cleaner, if you will. Paul. Paul was a girl, called Paulini. So I said to Gill, �Sounds plausible. And you, Edward,� I said, turning my attention to the blonde-haired blue-eyed-assassin-of-love, �Why are you here on this hot July afternoon?�
�Frankly my dear, I don�t give a damn!� The door slammed behind him. �I probably should have exited the room, before I shut the door... To the room.� He said, quite perplexed at the situation.
Edward turned to the occupied Gill whom was cleaning vomit and making coffee.
�What are you doing here? But may I say, your purple anorak is very flamboyant.�
�Flamboyant, or gay?� replied Gill knowingly, knowing he was indeed very gay. They shared a beautiful moment. I decided to leave them alone, and make my own puke-free coffee. I left the room, first opening the door, then walking out in my usual manner, left foot, right foot, left foot... Right foot.
I walked down the corridor, and as I turned the corner, I caught a whiff of vanilla... And puke? Who could this be at this un-godly hour? I looked up to view Nathaniel, naked save for chaps and a purple anorak.
What are you doing here?!� I questioned.
To be continued. (NB: Filthy lie.)
P.S. What ARE chaps?
P.P.S. Cowboy half-pants.