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Jieni's last:   17/11
I think i've met the horizon of my shadow.
The past 11 months have been so fulfilling and yet so emotional. Crystals of these precious moments still linger suspended in the air. Each one casted down a spectrum of brilliant colours on my world. A rainbow of affection, uncertainty, joy, sorrow, disappointment, excitement, and pain. Those are the seven slices of another year gone past. I savoured each bitter sweet flavour without regret. It's been good. It's been bad. It's been my life.
We change, whether physcially or mentally, as we plough through the biological years. Sometimes, its due to the bonding of others' path with ours or sometimes its due to the separation. Sometimes, we simply do so, because we do. I know i am no longer the same person as yesterday, and possibly i wont be the same as i was today, tomorrow. However much i have changed, i hope i have grown to be a little more careful, a little wiser, and alot more mature. But i know,some things will always stay the same. Theres no need for me to explain this. It's just how it is.
I've learnt not to question anymore.
I promised myself to leave silently, without a goodbye. But i was too sentimental, too attached...so i guess this is it.
My last entry.
I wish you a million crystals. I wish you the stars. I wish you everything that will light up your world like you did with mine.
It's been wonderful. It's been spectacular. It's been the best year of my life.
My English teacher wrote:
"Somewhere, everything meets its own shadow."
Or something of the sort.
I'm for Capital Punishment.
I don't mind air. It's okay.
Machines are alright i suppose.
People, i'll pass on that one as a whole.
I sympathise with retards.
And i empathise with intellects.
I believe in the end justifies the means.
I think Existentialism makes sense.
And Post Feminism is a joke.
I dont care for liars.
But I value elaborated honesty.
I believe in love. Like in Hollywood.
I know theres no fate. Only chance.
I'm anti-democracy. It doesnt exist anyway.
So I know i'm usually in the Right wing of things.
I like conclusions. But.
I'm for Eternity.
Jieni's matter of fact:
Heres the question, what happens when you shine a torchlight on a rabbit?
Making a mental note for my "things-i-must-try list".
Jieni's vote of thanks:
You know that list of all the people close to you? The one that declines and accumulates as you move through life? Well, i like to think of it as a large auditorium where all the people who has crossed into your life sit as audiences. They may applaud you, laugh at you or even mock you. They may leave in a huff of dissatisfaction, or they may stay in appreciation. They will come and they will go. The curtain never falls and the show continues on despite the absences or the participants.
But out there, away from the glare of the spotlight, stands a row of seats. Their fabrics are worn and frayed, etched away into its core. They have caught a countless number of laughters, frowns and tears. Rubbed away of its years...that row stands, proud and mighty. It's the row that is never empty. It's those who attend every night and leave bunches of support and love outside your dressing room. It's those who pray for you before every performance in earnest and benevolence.
Sometimes, the spotlight blinds us and they become obsecured, lost in a sea of self. But i remembered today. So, its my turn to present a fresh dozen of thank you's.
Especially you R. This is for you.
Jieni's new Computer:
Finally...He* has Awoken.
My life begins here.
Or...should i say ends here?
EDIT: *I prefer a male sex...as they tend to affiliate with stamia and unyielding persistence, oh and plenty of commodius brain space for me to mangle with. And of course...their sweet nature to always appease. (hint hint)
Jieni xu flies!:
Ah...the pulsation of heat has arrived. And so has the corps of 6 million eyed, hairy legged mutants. And no im not talking about male population. (Correct me if im wrong about that) It's the god damn flies! The global warming seem to have caused generic alternations, because this calling of summer has hailed out a new breed. A more vengeful fleet has colonised this season. Beware fellow friends for they are Out There... and waiting. My story begins on this shimmering 28 degree day...
It was 10.32am EST. Location: Outside common room at school (where most evil occur). Enticed by freshly brought lunch...hunger raging. I took a bite. 43 degrees to my right, i spotted a hideous black spot shuffling in a ragged pattern across the table. Otherwise known as THE FLY. 'Termination' seemed appropriate at the time. But i had little confidence. Within an instant i had
my hand slammed bang smack onto its immediate position. Possibly going at a constant rate of 72km/h south...i caused serious damage to my palm.
Upon lifting my hand which was throbbing and screaming red it revealed the feral thing on its back. Drunk? Or in a state of concussion. I watched it spin 360's madly swinging its legs. Intriguing behaviour. A fly stuggling to get up amid a serious head (if you call it a head) injury. It's turmoil was quickly finished with a flood of water from E's bottle, flushing it into the unknown where its fate lies under the table.
Anyhow. This is where the spiteful little thing comes back. Or so i thought it did when its really just his distant cousin. (Who happened to look exactly the same) This 6 million eyed beast followed me for the entire day. It tagged onto me like i was the next Rotting Fruit. (MMMm i will not tolerate any comments on this comparison) And so. I had cousin number 456 buzz around and around my head as a executioner for annihilating its cousin number X. I was his enemy and he was my tormentor. I was not happy. This one was cunning and i was unable to out wit it. This included crouching close to the ground and sprinting around corners to hide. It followed. So i became the girl with the pet fly.
I now deeply regret my doings. And would like to make a peace treaty that will protect me for the rest of my life. For now, i am safe. But god knows how many of its cousins will be waiting tomorrow morning when i step out. I'm not ready to be the Lord of the Flies yet.
I'm too young. Too fragrant. Too ripe.
Jieni innocent Wednesday:
What makes Jieni a happy skipping lass?
Tropical Storm Boost Drink. Regular thanks.
$4.95 of bashful smiling in an enviro friendly biopolymer cup.
I want more Robert Fulghum
I feel mechanic. Synthetically fabricated. Programed to perform certain tasks day by day, week by week, months by months...I'm just another assembler in another factory.
This melancholy hums crescendos with a B flat.
Just ride this tune of monotone. And yet...
Every so often, a stacatto will hiccup its way through, and i will stumble. Fall down and weep. Get up and continue on. Just the way its built. No fault.
Andante life i accept.
I dont believe in anything anymore.
I suddenly feel so unfunny.
Damn you Robert Fulghum!
Jieni the social retard:
Dear 40 HOUR SOCIALites,
The world has collapsed into a neat box of blue. There's a hostile rectangular window (it accommodates a montage of beautiful live blue and drifting puffs of white)
Beneath that, stands an erect desklamp (it has a metal face of artifical glow and one big translucent eye that forever stares down on the desk on which it dwells)
On the plateau of the Great White Desk, lies an array of discarded papers (handicapped with spelling flaws, grammar blunders and ink wounds) and pens. (Blue and sadistic)
On the dead sea floor ( it inhibits no life) congregates cities of newspapers and textbooks (a skeletal structure built on yesterdays) Out of the dead sea rises a mauve brown bookcase (a creature whom elated on
And then theres me. (An active facist figure of social retardism)
Please liberate me.
Chief Executive of Society of Retardism.