Rocky XIV

 

Peasants are running around the stage screaming as the sound of a dragon roaring is heard

 

Peasants- The dragon! The dragon! The dragon! The dragon!!!

 

King Max enters in

 

King Max- Quiet! Quiet I say! Stop yelling dragon!

 

They don’t stop screaming the dragon, so King Max starts to physically shake them and hit them into silence

 

King Max- Shut up I say, stop it!

 

They finally quit down

 

King Max- Now, what seems to be the problem?

 

Peasants- The dragon! The dragon! The dragon!

King Max- QUIET! NO YELLING! (they quiet down) Now, I’m aware of our little dragon problem. And your King, King Max (strikes a smile at the audience) is going to see it done. Now I don’t want to jump into anything right away, due to the non-severity of this matter.

Dragon roars from off stage

Peasant #1- Oh blimmy, me house! (runs off stage, dragon roars again, sound of Peasant #1 struggling) Oh blimmy, me leg!

King Max- Like I said due to the severity of this situation, we must act at once to subdue it! The king seeks a knight, nay, a champion! To rise up and destroy this vile miscreant. Where can I find such a warrior?

Peasants look around, no one says anything

King Max- And who ever does gets a treasure chest full of gold!

Still no one moves

King Max- And a date with my daughter, the Princess Adrian!

Several of the men walk forward, ready to take on the dragon now. Just then Rocky enters

Rocky- Hey yo there, what’s up, ‘ere, your majesty and stuff?

King Max- Who are you?

Rocky- Hey uh, ya know, my names Rocky. I heard ya got this uh problem, ya know, so yeah, like, I thought maybe I could do uh- (continues to mumble incoherently)

King Max- Does anyone understand a word he is saying?!

Princess Adrian runs out to King Max’s side

Princess Adrian- Yes, yes, I understand it dear father. This man has come to slay yon vile dragon and to win my heart.

King Max- Is this true, good sir knight?

Rocky- Yeah, sure, I guess, ya know. I think I can take this dragon out, yeah.

King Max- Take him out!? You can barely form complete sentences, what makes you think you can slay a mighty dragon?!

Rocky- Well I just wanna ya know go the distance, ya know. Besides your daughters kinda cute up there, eh?

Princess Adrian- (happy girly squeal)Oh my gosh, he thinks I’m cute!

Rocky- So where’s this dragon at?

Dragon roars of stage

Peasant #1 (off stage) Oh cricky, me spine!

Peasants- The dragon! The dragon! The dragon!

Rocky- Oh I guess he’s that way, eh?

Princess Adrian- Hey hold up! Hey! SHUT-UP!

Peasants stop screaming

Princess Adrian- Hey you down there! I mean (regains sweet royal accent) Wouldst thou appricate a sword and shield with which to go into battle?

Rocky- Hey, oh yeah good thinking there.

Princess throws down a sword and shield. Rocky clumsily tries to wield them, tripping and almost killing the peasants.

King Max- Our city is doomed. But wait? What’s that I hear? (Indiana Jones theme comes on) Yes it is! Sir Apollo Creed! The mightiest warrior in the kingdom!

Apollo Creed comes up in his armor and a cape, the peasants go wild. Apollo winks at the princess, who almost faints. Rocky gets up in front of him.

Rocky- Hey man, this is my dragon, ya know. So go and find your own.

Apollo- Please, peasant. Step aside.

Peasants cheer as Apollo struts of triumphantly off stage to the dragon. The cheering continues until an explosion is heard and Apollo’s helmet is thrown back on stage. Peasants start to scream again.

Peasants- The dragon! The dragon! The dragon!

Rocky- Hey, well, guess it’s up ta me then there, huh?

 

Princess Adrian- Wait Rocky! Let me aid you with my personal trainer. Micky! (whistles)

 

Micky comes on stage all fired up

 

Micky- Come on you weakling! Come on, you can do it! Go the distance, go the distance!

 

Starts to massage Rocky’s shoulders and pump him up, Rocky starts jogging in place, doing push up, punching the air. Rocky Theme comes on

 

Micky- Come on, yeah! Punch it, harder!

 

Rocky punches into Micky’s palms, and finally misses and punches him in the face

 

Micky- OW! Yeah, yeah, that’s it boy, you can do it!

 

Peasants cheer as Rocky kicks away sword and shield and rushes off to kill the dragon with his bare hands. The dragon is heard roaring, Rocky screams “Adria-----an!” Suddenly the music and roaring stop, and Rocky comes back in, tore up and staggering

 

Princess Adrian- Rocky! Runs up and hugs him

 

King Max- Well done my boy! Rejoice people, for he has defeated the dragon! The dragon! The dragon!

 

Peasants and King Max and Micky- The dragon! The dragon! The dragon!

 

Rocky- (to sound man) Hey, can y’all, ya know, make these people stop say “dragon”?

 

Lights go completely out and peasants stop yelling, confused

 

Rocky- Hey yo, thanks.

 

Curtain.