A long, long time ago...
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I can still remember how that tourist used to make me scream.
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And I knew if I avoided one from nine,
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That I could make that luggage mine,
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And have more riches than I'd ever dreamed.
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But the Hublands made me shiver,
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To the Ice Giants I'd deliver
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News from Cori Celesti....
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The old spat was getting nasty.
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I do remember seeing Offler glower
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About returning the lawnmower
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But I chased after dense Twoflower
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The day Windle Poons died
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(Refrain:)
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Bye bye Mr. Dibbler's meat pie
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Flew my carpet to the Rimfall but the Rimfall was dry
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Them Lancre boys were drinkin' scumble and rye
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Singing "Wizards know the day that they'll die,
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Wizards know the day that they'll die".
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Did you write the Book of Om,
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And do you attempt to split the thaum
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If the Octavo tells you so?
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Now do you know how to truly ook
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Can magic all your dinners cook
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And can you teach me how to eat all day?
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Well I know that you've been meeting him
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At the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A. gym
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You've been ransacking with Cohen
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Man, I hear the Ankh's been flowin'
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I was a not quite licensed bard upstart
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With a clean-cut tunic and a one-horse cart
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But Satchelmouth taught me I wasn't too smart
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The day Windle Poons died I started singing...
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(Refrain)
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Now at some point we went down the other leg
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And the trousers of time came right off the peg
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But we're getting more used to parallels
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When the reaper rode a bone machine
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In a coat he borrowed from the Dean
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And a voice that spoke in hollow capitals
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Oh and while fate was scratching his ass
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The reaper flipped an hourglass
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That reality was adjourned
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The sand was overturned
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And while Ponder tried to program Hex
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The Senior Wrangler recalled sex
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As Mrs. Whitlow did him vex
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The day Windle Poons died
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We were singing...
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(Refrain)
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Hither, thither, Bursar's in a dither
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The Things came from we know not wither
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Eight calls to them but Rincewind's fast
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His lungs were good and his legs were lithe
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Lancre's Morris Men were drunk and blithe
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With the reaper at a grindstone with his scythe
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Now the Morpork air could make you cry
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While Sergeant Colon stayed warm and dry
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We all jumped up to flee
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Oh, but Pictsies hit our knees
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'Cause the Morris Men put on their bells
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Sam Vimes's watch put them in cells
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Do you recall Ridcully's spells
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The day Windle Poons died
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We started singing...
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(Refrain)
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And there we were all on the Disc
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The Lady putting us at risk
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With the Silver Horde off in Agatea
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So come on Esk be witchy, Esk don't pout
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Eskarina wave that staff about
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'Cause magic is a wizard's only friend
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And as I watched the sluggish rays
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My eyes were filled with octarine haze
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No gnome being chased by Hrun
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Could beat out Rincewind's run
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And as the sun slowly poured over night
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To light the carpet on its flight
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I heard Rincewind screaming out of sight
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The day Windle Poons died
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He was singing...
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(Refrain)
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I met a girl who dressed like Death
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And I asked her to delay my last breath
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But she just grinned and sliced away
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I blundered into the traveling store
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Where I'd found a strange harp years before
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But the Music With Rocks In wouldn't play
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And in the streets where Dibbler plied his con
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Roamed Coffin' Henry, Arnold and Ole Ron
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But only "woof" was spoken
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The Mended Drum was broken
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And the assassins I would avoid most
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Of Vetinari's contract they would boast
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Then find inhuming even harder as a ghost
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The day Windle Poons died
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And they were singing...
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Refrain (2x)
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