1. Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
|
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
|
With almost all animals, you can have ball
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
CHORUS 1: The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
|
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
|
The result I think you'll find will appall:
|
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
|
2. Mounting a horse can often be fun
|
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
|
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
CHORUS 2: The spines on his back are so awful thick
|
you'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
|
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
|
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
3. Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
|
Will be entertaining to both her and you
|
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
CHORUS 3: (So here's to the hedgehog, he's sharp as they come
|
You'll never get through his impregnable bum
|
With his nose up his arsehole and rolled in a ball
|
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all)
|
4. A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
|
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
|
Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
CHORUS
|
5. You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill
|
It's amazing how humping a camel will thrill
|
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
6. You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
|
With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
|
We already mentioned the horse, you may recall
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
7. You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell
|
Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell
|
A troll can be rocky if down you should fall
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
8. For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter
|
Or pego a pig after parting his trotters
|
Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
9. For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
|
To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
|
The lemurs cry "Frink!" as a coy mating call
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
10. Antipodean pranks -- you can futter a wombat
|
Or strive with a 'roo in venereal combat
|
Or hump a goanna -- go on, do it all
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
11. A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
|
Or try on a rhino if you fancy a bruising,
|
Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
12. You could thrust with a thrush if you fancy a climb,
|
Or pork a few piglets if you have the time,
|
A skinhead's pet cat if you don't mind a brawl,
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
13. A sheep that's named 'Flossy' is warm you shall see,
|
You can try with a wasp, you can try with a bee.
|
You can hump with the dog that sleeps in the hall,
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
14. A lion is frisky, a leopard is fun,
|
But to keep up with them you may have to run.
|
You'll be liked by the fleas at the flea-market stall,
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
15. A hippo is funny but take care if underneath,
|
A pirhana is pleasant but watch out for his teeth.
|
Get a rodent, they can be found in the mall,
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
16. You tail-lifting buggers from Ramtop or plain
|
If you take my advice you will save yourself pain
|
When the base urges strike you it's best to recall
|
That the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
17. Your hedgehog's a handful and cute as a bun
|
You'd think he'd be perfect for animal fun
|
But hatpin-like pubic hairs prove to us all
|
That the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
18. You can top a giraffe if you stand on a stool
|
Though a Jack Russell might make you look like a fool
|
But the fact still remains that if you want to ball
|
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
19. You can hump a baboon if it doesn't hump you
|
And a wildebeest's really got something quite gnu
|
Carouse with a louse if your weenie is small
|
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
20. It's hard with a crab 'cause its bum's watertight
|
The best way is sideways, then twist to the right
|
If you screw one, be thankful as shorewards you crawl
|
For the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
|
|