The Trial

Firstly I must say one thing; this has to be the funniest scene I have RPed with anyone, not just Tri-Link. This entire scene was the result of me finally finishing Final Exams in school in the year of 2001. These posts are from June 22nd - 24th. They are extremely funny. I warn you.. if you proceed, please read this with care. Also note: All characters are my NPCs (except Inuki, of course) and Lynette is Tri-Link's PC. That's about all I can think of to say. To commemorate this event I have posted it below, along with restoring all the colours into the colours that were used in the chat room. There is one minor change that I have made. Inuki's colour is 009900 here, not 006600 because his real one (006600) is far too dark to be seen properly here, therefore it has become the one that you can see below which is a fair bit light (009900) The first little bit isn't very funny, just be patient. Thank-you. That will be all. So be it! Please, carry on.

(Please note: All OoC *Out of Character* Comment have been excluded from these posts, I know you all love to see our OoC comments (that's what the Old Posts site is for) but we have to draw the limit somewhere, besides, to painters show each layer that they have done seperately and then the finished product? Do authors include their rough drafts in their stories? Do actors perform things the way they did when they first began, script and all, and finally work their way up to memorized scripting and elaborate costuming? No! So therefore I refuse to include OoC comments.)

Kai Junsui (Kid): **Reappears infront of the goddess once more.** Well.. he was a pleasant fellow.
Lynette: Yeah... **Looks at Brent.** too bad you went all demonic on him.
Inuki **Human**: **Stands there. His arms crossed** No. I can't go with you Brent. I refuse to go.
Inuki **Human**: Besides, I need a break.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Smirks and nods to Lynette** Hmmm.. Oh well.. Too bad Inuki. We're already back!
Inuki **Human**: Wha- Already?
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): Yep.
Inuki **Human**: When am I Ever going to get some REST?!
Lynette: Actually we weren't gone very long, we had to come back when Brent tried to eat you.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Shrugs** You should have thought about that.
Inuki **Human**: **Gets a funny look on his face** Wha- Eat me?!
Lynette: Err... or your twin or whatever.... although I think you're the evil one.
Inuki **Human**: **Growls at Lynette** Not funny. I'm beginning to think that Alexander has been right all along.
Lynette: What's that supposed to mean?!
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Blinks** Hey hey you two! Break it up! No fighting! We have two marbles to collect!
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Steps inbetween them.**
Inuki **Human**: **Snarls** Get out of my way Peeby.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Blinks** Eep.. **Stumbles backwards.**
Lynette: **Glares up at Inuki.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Shakes his head, still feeling rather dizzy.**
Inuki **Human**: **Scowls at Lynette** The fool is right. I haven't time to waste to try and get those marbles. And I certainly haven't time to waste on the likes of you **Snarls at Lynette.. his
Inuki **Human**: eyes dimly glowing light blue.**
Inuki **Human**: **Turns back to the goddess**
Lynette: **''Hmph''s in a offended manner.**
Beautiful Lady: Which three of you shall go on the last task?
Inuki **Human**: I've only been in one. I have to go.
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Nods** I haven't gone in more than one either.
Beautiful Lady: **Blinks** Well then. It's between you two **Points towards Lynette and Brent.**
Beautiful Lady: Which one of you shall go, and which of you shall stay?
Lynette: Oh... Um... **Turns to Brent.** Would it be alright... I mean if you want to...
Lynette: Or we could flip for it or something.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Blinks at Lynette.. then shakes his head.** No. I wouldn't be much use. I haven't quite seemed to do much more than be a distraction in these things. You go.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Blinks** You wouldn't want me going insane again, would you? Not on such a vital task.. you go.
Beautiful Lady: **Nods** Very well. Have you made a decision then?
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): **Nods** Yep. Bye guys! Good luck!
Lynette: I suppose you're right.... Maybe the goddesss can figure out what set you off like that. **Steps over by Inuki and Kai then turns to the Goddess.** Yes.
Brent (BHT) (Vampire): See ya later g-
Beautiful Lady: **Raises her hands.. once more they glow, and vanish.**
Inuki **Human**: **Vanishes**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Also glows and vanishes** G'bye Brent! See y-
Lynette: **Varnishes.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Suddenly he is in an elevator.**
Inuki **Human**: **Also finds himself inside the strange, small silver room with the closed door and buttons** What in the name of- **Blinks seeing Kai and Lynette.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): ou later Brent...
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Oh.. He's gone.
Lynette: Euhh, my stomach... I wonder if this's another girl thing or something.
Lynette: I can't tell if I'm going to throw up or wet myself.
Inuki **Human**: **Growls at Lynette** If It *Is* Please don't tell us about it. I'm pretty sure we don't give a shit about your ''hopes and heartaches''. Okay?
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Guys! Seriously! Calm down! We've really got to figure out where the heck we are.. and how to get out.. do you think this is some sort of spell?
Inuki **Human**: If it is It's quite the spell indeed. Perhaps the goddess was lying about the third task, and has trapped us in a matchbox or something? **Shrugs** And what's that strange grinding noise? And why does it feel like the floor is moving under us?
Lynette: You mean you feel too? Well... that's something I guess.
Lynette: Maybe we could blow a hole in this wall... it does have a crack in it.
Inuki **Human**: **Growls** At least I have something. You're a little empty up in the top level, if you know what I mean.. you're as dumb as a doorknob if you don't mind me saying. **Snaps at her, but not literally of course.**
Lynette: Ooh! I am not! And what's furthermore, I bet you wouldn't be saying that if I weren't a girl!
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Talking about door knobs.. this door doesn't even *have* a knob! How do we get ou- **Suddenly the elevator makes a ''ding'' sound, and the doors open, revealing an office.**
Lynette: And if I—**Hears the chime and turns to the door.**
Inuki **Human**: **Blinks and then exits the elevator.** Hmm.. Some strange spell indeed.
Lynette: **Follows Inuki out.** It has lights like the first place... but people are dressed like the second place... um, before the rainstorm that is.
Inuki **Human**: **Nods in agreement** Yes.. and there are potted plants everywhere.. and people writing on paper. Maybe it's some sort of a... I don't know.. Tower of Scholars?
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks and follows them both out..**
Inuki **Human**: **Looks down at himself** Ack! Look at.. ick! What I'm wearing!
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Hey! You two are wearing exactly what the guys were wearing in that rainstorm place!
Inuki **Human**: **Growls at Lynette under his breath** You know.. I'm beginning to think that you actually *like* being a girl!
Lynette: We are? **Looks down.** Hmm... We are, aren't we... I'm also wearing really uncomfortable shoes. **Looks up at Inuki.** Hm? What?
Inuki **Human**: **Growls** Nothing. Just keep alert.. I don't like the looks of this place.
Lynette: **Rolls her eyes and looks at what she's wearing again.** **Almost mutters almost to herself.** I do like the way they make me look taller... and these things may not be as large
Lynette: as my bag inside, but they certainly are stylish maybe I could enchan—**The almost muttering fades to where it can't be understood.** Hm, oh well, I'll see about when we get back.
Greg Keelstrum: **Walks towards them** Oh! Hey there Inuki. Are you ready for the opening statements? **Looks at Lynette..** Socializing with the Prosecutors already?
Lynette: Prossiwhatsit?
Greg Keelstrum: Prosecutors. Surely you're joking.. you know.. the people that try to prove our client is guilty.
Greg Keelstrum: **Blinks at Lynette, then to Kai, who stands behind her..** Huh? **Smirks** You brought your kid? You'll have to leave him out here.
Greg Keelstrum: Come on Inuki.. **Grabs him by the arm** We have a trial to win. It's two of us against one of them. Their other lawyer called in sick.
Inuki **Human**: Trial? *Lawyer*? WIN?!!
Lynette: Kid?
Greg Keelstrum: **Grabs Inuki and drags him off towards the court.**
Lynette: **Looks at Kai, then back.** Wh.... Trial?!!
Inuki **Human**: **Enters the huge, brown, old room.. sees the huge coat of arms behind the massive throne-like seat in the middle, and on either side the witness boxes.. along with the rest of it. The room is filling up quickly..**
Greg Keelstrum: Here. I know you haven't had time to go over the opening statements much, but I'm sure you'll do fine. Here's Harry. **Waves to an extremely creepy looking man sitting in the glass box in the center, with the locked door, and the rather official-looking guard standing outside.**
Lynette: **Tries to follow Inuki inconspicuously, but stops when she gets to a door with a familiar sign on it.** Um.... If this is going to be some kind of trial maybe I better....
Lynette: **Goes into the bathroom. Then comes out a minute later and snaps her purse shut.** Kai ) You'd better wait here.
Inuki **Human**: So... uuumm.. what exactly are we doing again?
Greg Keelstrum: Snap out of it! I know you have been a *little* over-worked recently.. but.. I just want you to know that we're going to win this! Eh. what are we doing? We're trying to prove that our client **Points to the man, which Inuki can only see the back off.** Is not guilty. Happy?
Lynette: **Walks into the courtroom and looks for a seat... Sees where Inuki's sitting and takes a similar seat across from him.**
Inuki **Human**: **Nods.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Uum... **Feels lost..** Oh well.. **Sits down outside the courtroom and decides to listen in. Puts his ear to a vent and begins to listen... hears chattering..** Hmm.. Must be some sort of a play or something. **Shrugs** I hope they enjoy it.
Sherrif: All rise for the Honorable judge Citizen # 18709
Lynette: **Looks around... stands up.**
Inuki **Human**: Hmm. .oO( Finally something I understand in this crazy world. )
Inuki **Human**: **Stands up.**
Greg Keelstrum: **Also Stands.**
Judge 18709: **Steps in..**
Judge 18709: **Sits down** Ahem. You may be seated.
Lynette: **Sits down, rather nervously.**
Inuki **Human**: **Also sits**
Greg Keelstrum: **Copies Inuki's example.**
Judge 18709: First off, I would like to let you, the members of the jury, of course, know that I have only decided to accept this case to humour the accused. I really do not think that this trial is even necessary, since I am quite sure that the accused is indeed guilty, but, if I can be convinced and swayed the other way just the littlest bit then I shall allow this trial to continue. Do you all understand? I sure hope you do, otherwise I may have to expel you from the courtroom if you do not completely understand and obide by all the rules.
Lynette: .oO(Well... that'll make my job easier.... I wonder what the guy did?)
Inuki **Human**: **Blinks** Ulp. .oO( The judge has it in for me. )
Judge 18709: As it is in the order of things I will call the only member of the Crown Counsel residing here today to please stand and give him..err.. her opening statements. Please Miss Sheridan?
Lynette:**Stands.** Thank you, Your Honour.
Judge 18709: You may proceed Miss Sheridan
Lynette: Ladies and gentleman of the jury... in the light of... um... overwelming... absit omen [may it not be an omen] and in vino veritas [in wine is truth] evidence, and the sheer number of fluctuat nec mergitur [it tosses but doesn't sink], ikso fatso, and habeas corpuscle [ you are to produce blood] primus inter pares [first among equals] witnesses, which saw the accoused flagrante delicto [red handed] delightful and delovely in the region in questions on the tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis [times change, and we change with them too] night that I find it incotrovertable that, sic semper tyrannis [thus always to tyrants], this man de gustibus non disputandum [there is no accounting for tastes], is unquestionably, and nihil nimis [nothing in excess], as we say ius est ars boni et aequi [legal justice is the art of the good and the fair], mors ultima ratio [death is the final accounting], et in Arcadia ego [ I too am in Arcadia]. Thank-you. **Sits down.**
Greg Keelstrum: OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR! She's not speaking English! She should have a translator!
Lynette: No. They're all legible English/Latin terms in the dictionary that any person should know.
Judge 18709: **Blinks.. stares blankly at Lynette** Thank-you young lady. **Blinks at Greg** Stop your whining or I'll have you put away! She's quite right.. any idiot could understand that!
Greg Keelstrum: **Sighs**
Judge 18709: .oO( What a case this is going to be! )
Greg Keelstrum: .oO( what a case this is going to be! )
Inuki **Human**: .oO( Uh-oh.. what next?! )
Lynette: **Is relieved and pleased with herself.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): .oO( you put your right foot in.. you pull your right foot out.. you spin in a circle and dance all about! )
Judge 18709: And as always, according to tradition I would like the defence to also explain themselves in their opening statements. Mr. Keelstrum?
Greg Keelstrum: **Blinks** **Looks up** Oh.. yes.. uuh.. uum.. Right! I have decided to allow my assistant, Inuki, to do the honour.
Judge 18709: **Nods** Very well then, young man. Please begin.
Inuki **Human**: **Nods and stands** Well.. uum.. ahem.. you see... my client, that man over there **Points towards the box** can obviously have done no wrong. Just take one look at him! He is obviously was not controlled by metaphysical forces at any time, nor could he have done it. So then what happened exactly? He uuh.. umm.. He was framed! Yes! Aha! That's it! He was framed! He ended up being framed by one of the people he knew and trusted! One of the people he loved! And yet, what is love in these modern days? What else can I say? Except.. he HE didn't do it! I have undeniable uum.. evidence that is not only proof to his sad testimony, but also gives us a short look into the life of this poor man that ended up being framed. From his first days until his last he was obviously on a downwards spiral! Why does he feel like an abused wife who only now is coming home once more to take the beating? Why? Because after all this poor poor man has gone through he is not only framed, but also ends up here! You will be sentencing an innocent man if you think he is guilty! Does he not have eyes and ears? Is he not a man like the rest of us? Does he not live, does he not feel, does he not lov- **Stops in his tracks seeing the man.....The man looks *exactly* like Brent!** Ermm... Uuh.. Uumm.. ...oO( Brent?!) I- I- Thank-you my honour, I mean your honour!
Inuki **Human**: **Quickly stumbles to his seat and is seated.**
Inuki **Human**: **Taps Greg on the shoulder** Pssst. What's this guy in for?
Greg Keelstrum: **Whispers back** Don't you know? Capital Punshiment.. death.. he alledgedly killed an entire building of people with a massive bombing after drugging the guards with sleeping pills.
Inuki **Human**: Ulp...
Lynette: **Is blissfully unaware that her long string of obscure phrases might just have sent Brent('s double) to his death... is also blissfully unaware of what in the world she said to do it.**
Judge 18709: Ermm.. hmm.. Very well then. Prosecution may call upon the very first witness.
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Slowly the doors open.. and he enters**
Judge 18709: **Looks at Kai** Boy, where is the guard?
Judge 18709: Where are the witnesses?
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks** Oh. Sir.. **Is taken back by the massive room, and all the people staring at him** Well Sir, the guard said that one of the accused in a nearby room went psycho and tried to kill a bunch of people so they had to restrain him. It was an emergency. And since I'm not doing anything, Sir, he told me to lead in the witnesses. So they want to know.. which witness first?
Judge 18709: **Blinks.. is a bit astounded by the boy.. but continues** Well.. uum.. err. Let me check my list, boy. **Checks it** I believe the first witness would be Mr. ''Bobo''
Inuki **Human**: Mr. Bobo? .oO( Oh boy.. this going to be one looooongy day! )
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Pokes his head out the door and nearly screams:** MR. BOBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Judge 18709: **Covers his ears trying to maintain somewhat-Judge-Like.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Backs away slightly as Mr. Bobo enters.. dislikes clowns.. is afraid of them.**
Mr. BoBo: **Enters, a great big grin plastered across his rather stupid-looking face. His face is painted, naturally, he has a bright red nose, and is wearing red and yellow polka-dotted pants, shirt, and big floppy, clunky clown shoes. He even has a hat, the most extremely stupid looking hat nevertheless, on his head, with a lightbulb glued ontop.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): .oO( Creepy looking freak show man.) **Slams the heavy doors on his way out.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **The entire audience shudders and covers their ears from the slam.**
Judge 18709: Sherrif.. please begin.
Sherrif: Yes Sir. Mr. Bobo.. Please put your hand on this book.
Mr. BoBo: Why?! Is it the bible?
Sherrif: Yes. It is
Mr. BoBo: Well, then I can't. I'm not Christian.
Sherrif: Fine. Here's the Torah **Pulls it out**
Mr. BoBo: I'm not Jewish.
Sherrif: Quar'an?
Mr. BoBo: Nope.
Sherrif: Satanic Scrolls?
Mr. BoBo: No. Sorry.
Sherrif: Ermm.. Wait a second.. **Digs through the shelf of holy books** Aha! I've got it! The Big Pop-Up Book of Circus Pictures! **Blows off a massive layer of dust from the top of it.** Now repeat after me Sir, Will you, Mr. Bobo the clown..
Mr. BoBo: Will I, Mr Bobo the clown?
Sherrif: Take this book, to have, and to hold, to love, and to cherish- Wait a second! I'm sure that's not right! Yeargh!
Greg Keelstrum: .oO( Oh boy.... )
Lynette: You Honor, he is trying to marry the witness! It's a conflict of interest for someone to swear in their own spouse.
Greg Keelstrum: OBJECTION! If I hear one more thing out of this bitch I'm going to pull out a rifle and shoot her!
Judge 18709: **Bangs his gavel... which turns out to really just be a meat malet.. against the table** ORDER!!!!!
Judge 18709: **Points towards Greg** OUT! NOW!
Lynette: **Jumps up.** Objection! He's threatening the prosecutio—oh crap! **Sits back down, quickly.**
Greg Keelstrum: Eep! **Whimpers and backs out of the courtroom**
Inuki **Human**: .oO( Wow.. I didn't know the little guy had it in him. )
Mr. BoBo: **Puts his hand on the book and sings:** By the Circus Tent I sat, in the sunlights first depletion, while eating away at the ozone layer, each day... And In the twilight's last fleeting, Moments of desperation, I cried out ''My name is Gonzalez Wongsasaputra Bobo!'' and with that the land of the freeeee.. and the home of the brave.. shall not be my grave... **Stops singing and proclaims** I, Gonzalez, Wongsasputra, Bobo swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
Judge 18709: **Is unable to do nothing more than watch in awkward amusment as the American National Anthum, which has been severed, and mixed with some other strange garbage is sung from this..clown.. and then.. the Jury stands.. and gives him a standing ovation.** Alright! ALRIGHT! ORDER ORDER! **Bangs his meat mallet some more.** Alright. Would the Prosecution Please Question it's first witness... and might I add, young lady, no more objections for the next little while, or I'll have you out too! And that will surely mean that you will loose your case, as you will have nobody on the Crown Counsel to represent yourself.
Lynette: Yes, Your Honor. **Walks up to the witness stand in the most solemn and serious way she learned how.** Mr. Bobo... where were you on the afternoon of december the tenth, nineteen-ninety-one? **Note of interest: that was Lynette's eighth birthday acording her driver's license.**
Mr. BoBo: I-I-I was watering my plants.. Fine little plants they were too.. poor things died.
Lynette: I see, and what did these plants die of?
Mr. BoBo: I think I overfed them.
Inuki **Human**: Objection your Honour! This is completely irrelevant!
Judge 18709: Alright Miss Sheridan. Please stay on topic.
Lynette: Sorry, Your Honor. Mr. BoBo, is it not true that you were once... um... **Looks through some papers from her desk.** that you were once
Mr. BoBo: **Bursts into tears** YES! I ADMIT IT! I admit it.. **Breaks down into a sniffling, crying mess.. much like a sheep-dog that just got kicked in the head.**
Lynette: found in the company of a prostitute by the name of Lynette Sh—err—Shimiserabab?
Mr. BoBo: What-- No! I never was with a prostitute! I admit it all though.. Yes.. Yes.. I was... A garbageman!
Lynette: **Exhales, sighs deeply.**
Judge 18709: **Watches as the Jury gasp in horror**: A- a- A GARBAGEMAN?!
Lynette: A garbageman?
Judge 18709: Ack! Sheriff! Arrest this man immediately! You are a traitor to all drunken clowns that had no previous job experience in their lives! Lock him up!
Sherrif: **Nods** Yes Ma'am.. Erm.. I mean Sir. **Quickly grabs Mr.BoBo and drags him off**
Mr. BoBo: NOOOO! You can't do this to me!!! NOOOOO!
Judge 18709: **Shouts** HEY! KID! Drag in the next slave... ermm. I mean.. witness.. m'heh heh heh..
Lynette: **Stands by in complete astonishment.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): Yes Sir! .oO( Hey.. this is kind of fun!)
Kai Junsui (Kid): I present.. Mr. Roget.
Mr. Roget: **Enters, nearly tripping over his shoelaces.**
Judge 18709: Boy.. swear Mr. Roget in.
Kai Junsui (Kid): Swear at him? Okay.
Kai Junsui (Kid): Poo! Bum! Fart! Pee!
Mr. Roget: **As quickly as Kai can say those ''insults'' he replies with far worse returns.. the actual synonyms for them too!** Shit! Anus, Rectum, Ass! Flatulence, Urine!
Lynette: Kai!
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Blinks at Lynette** Sorry..uum.. Sis.. but the Guy with the Meat Mallet told me to.
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Looks up at the Judge** Okey. He's all sworn in. Go ahead.
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Walks off.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Closes the doors behind him..**
Judge 18709: **Mutters.. ** What a day.. what a day.. Alright. Prosecution may question the second witness.
Lynette: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. **Mutters.**
Lynette: Mr. Roget, are you the same Roget that wrote the famous Roget's thesaurus?
Mr. Roget: **Shakes his head** I'm afraid not you beautiful thang you. I'm his great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson. And yes! I'm really great, good, excellent, superb, awesome, amazing, stunning, and exciting!
Lynette: Your Honor, I object...
Lynette: ...I'm really more radiant that beautiful.
Judge 18709: **Glares at Lynette** You won't be either of those if you don't get on with it! I have a very busy day today, and I would *like* to eat my muffin BEFORE midnight!
Lynette: **Looks through her papers again.** Mr. Roget, is it not true that you were onc found in the company of former pr—oh god not him too! **Mutters.** I really have been busy. Mr. Roget, can you tell me a seven letter word for ape, with l as the fifth letter?
Mr. Roget: Yes. I can.
Inuki **Human**: OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR! This is completely irrelevant!
Judge 18709: No no.. Continue. I want to hear this.. What *is* a seven letter word for ape, with l as the fifth letter, anyways?
Judge 18709: I'm pretty sure that it was in the Crosswords in yesterday's newspaper.. or was that the day BEFORE yesterday? Hmm..
Lynette: Thank you Your Honor. In fact it WAS the day before yesterday, I have that very paper right here! **Pulls a section of newspaper out of her briefcase and places it on the judges podium. **
Inuki **Human**: Objection your Honour! She's not entering the object as a piece of evidence! The object can not be examined without the proper papers!
Judge 18709: **Nods** Yes. You are quite right. **Turns to Lynette** I am sorry Miss, but he is right. I must follow the laws, and they say to enter an object in as evidence it must have the proper papers to prove it!
Lynette: But these papers ARE proper, your honor!
Judge 18709: **Blinks** What?! They ARE?! What astounding news! **Grabs the papers and begins wildly reading them** Oh my.. oh lord.. oh holy SHIT! I got a double-word score! Waaait a second! That's SCRABBLE! How could they have replaced the Crossword Puzzle with a Scrabble Game?! How outrageous! Wait a second.. I'm not wearing my glasses- Am I? **Puts them on** Oh! I see! Indeed.. much better.
Lynette: Now, if the witness will answer the question... **Says smugly.**
Mr. Roget: But I DID! You asked me if I knew.. and I said ''Yes!'' you never asked me what it was.
Judge 18709: **Nods** Indeed. Mr. Roget is quite right Madamoiselle Sheridan.
Inuki **Human**: OBJECTION! She's Badgering the witness!
Lynette: Oh. Right. **Looks embarassed.**
Judge 18709: **Blinks.. looks at Lynette.. then at Mr. Roget.. then back at Inuki.** I'm afraid not. It's her own witness! There's nothing we can do.
Lynette: In that case what is that word, sir?
Mr. Roget: So, Any more questions to ask me? And inquiries to question me about? And askings to inquire about?
Inuki **Human**: OBJECTION! Which case? Make her specify!
Judge 18709: **Nods** Yes. I think she hasn't made it clear enough.
Mr. Roget: **Blinks** Which case? What word? What Sir? Why in? **Looks thoroughly confused.**
Lynette: Um... I guess it would have to be this case. **Holds up her briefcase.**
Mr. Roget: **Nods** Okay. I'm no longer perplexed! mystified, quandered, baffeled, befuddled, dazed, hazed, fogged, whirrled, mazed, disorientated! Well then, the words you would be looking for would be: brief bag, attache (accent over the e), and finally portfolio and container! But if you were referring back to the Ape question, the answer would simply be Gorilla.
Judge 18709: GORILLA! THAT'S IT! I SOLVED IT! I SOLVED IT!
Inuki **Human**: What? You've solved the case?
Judge 18709: No stupid! I solved the Crossword!
Lynette: **Turns to Inuki.** Nonsense the case is just fine. **Puts down the case.**
Inuki **Human**: **Looks like he is about to smack Lynette** You be quiet!
Judge 18709: Very well. **Looks at Lynette** Has the prosecution finished questioning the witness?
Lynette: Objection, the defense is threatening the prosecution again.
Judge 18709: **Nods.. looks at Inuki** You'll get your turn. Just sit down!
Inuki **Human**: **Blinks** FINE! **Sits back down.**
Lynette: One further question, Your Honor, **Looks through her papers again.** Is it not true that you once found the Right Honorable Judge 18709 in the company of former prost—oh forget it No further questions, Your On-her—err—Honor.
Judge 18709: **Nods vivaciously..** Alright. Defense may cross-examine the witness.
Inuki **Human**: **Jumps up.. walks towards Mr. Roget.. begins to pace infront of him.**
Inuki **Human**: **Paces infront of him.,. scratching his chin.. back and forth.. back and forth.**
Lynette: **Goes and sits at her desk.**
Inuki **Human**: **Suddenly stops, smacking a hand on Mr. Roget's desk, making a very loud sound. Then he grabs Mr. Roget's desk, and leans in on Mr. Roget, and shouts in his face.** WHERE WERE YOU WHEN MY CLIENT APPARENTLY BLEW UP THAT BUILDING!
Mr. Roget: I-I-I.. I was next-next door.. in a coffee sh-shop!
Inuki **Human**: AHA! And what type of coffee were you drinking?!
Mr. Roget: I was drinking a decaf coffee.. with my sister!
Inuki **Human**: Were you? WERE YOU REALLY?! Or were you drinking a children's Fruit Drink with your Sister's BEST FRIEND?!
Mr. Roget: Yes.. Yes I was!
Inuki **Human**: So you ADMIT to drinking a children's Fruit Drink?!
Mr. Roget: **Shakes his head** NO! I admit to dating my sister's best friend!
Inuki **Human**: But you.. uuh.. *were* drinking a Children's Fruit Drink, right?
Mr. Roget: Umm,.. No! Of course not!
Judge 18709: **Blinks.. watching the strange exchange.**
Lynette: OBJECTION, most childrens fruit drinks contain five or less percent fruit juice.
Inuki **Human**: Pah! Can you tell me three synonyms for liar?
Judge 18709: Your objection can not be withheld. You must enter it as evidence or a witness must state it, or you must have confirmed it privately.
Mr. Roget: Well... fabler, fabulist, and fabricator.
Lynette: Objection witdrawn, but I'm still mad as heck about it.
Inuki **Human**: Aha! Your most honourable honour! May the jury please note.. that all three of these start with F!
Judge 18709: **Says in a dull, droning voice** Let the jury note that all three synonyms of Liar begin with F.
Inuki **Human**: And, Mr. Roget Sir what is a synonym of dress or gown or robe, that begins with F?
Mr. Roget: It's a Frock Sir.
Inuki **Human**: A FROCK! DID YOU HEAR THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY? A FROCK!
Judge 18709: **Watches in amusement and amazement, and utter awe and something-else all together as the entire jury gasps** Very well, are you completely finished cross-examination, defense?
Inuki **Human**: No! I have ONE more question for Mr. Roget..
Inuki **Human**: **Blinks at Mr. Roget** What IS your MIDDLE NAME?
Mr. Roget: M-my middle NAME?! But that's confidential!
Inuki **Human**: Just tell me your name!
Mr. Roget: Fine, fine. It's **Mumbles something.**
Inuki **Human**: Louder please
Mr. Roget: It's Vivian.
Inuki **Human**: Louder!
Mr. Roget: It's Vivian!!!
Inuki **Human**: LOUDER!
Mr. Roget: MY MIDDLE NAME IS VIVIAN!
Lynette: **Giggles**
Mr. Roget: **Shoots Lynette a cross look because she never objected when Inuki was badgering him, and now she just giggled at his middle name!**
Inuki **Human**: There will be no further questions. Thank-you
Judge 18709: The witness may step down. Please leave Mr. Vivian Roget.
Mr. Roget: DON'T CALL ME THAT! I LIKE MY MIDDLE NAME! **He glares at the Judge, and then, as he exits, he throws a heavy thesaurus in Lynette's general direction. Unfortunately for him he misses, hitting a rather plump woman who just happens to be the wife of one of the men who died in the bombing. The thesaurus lands on the bird on her hat and her hat, flatting both, and hitting her in the head, knocking her nearly-unconcious. Then he slams the door and runs out.**
Lynette: May I have that glare stricken from the records?
Judge 18709: **Nods* Let the jury strike that glare from the records, now prosecution, call in your witnesses! And quickly! We have three, and I don't want to waste all my time on this case and you have three witnesses next!
Lynette: May I suggest we call in all three at once to save time?
Judge 18709: No! Then all the witnesses will be tainted!
Lynette: Well then, I suggest that they come in two at a time.
Judge 18709: If I have one more suggestion from you you'll be out of here! Do you understand? Besides, the last two are coming together anyways. Bring in the third-to-last witness!
Lynette: **Grumble grumble.** Yes, Your Honor. **Grumble grumble.**
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Enters, dragging in a rather messy looking woman, with a mop of red messy hair on top of her head.**
Lynette: Finally! Someone I won't have been "seen in the company of"!
Inuki **Human**: **Blinks at Lynette** I wouldn't be TOO sure of that. **Snickers.**
Judge 18709: **Holds up a bible** Put your hand on this Madame.
Sissian Sisouskey: **Nods and does as she is told.**
Lynette: **Glares at Inuki.** Oh yeah, want me to check if I've ever been seen in the company of °you°?
Inuki **Human**: You probably have **Says proudly with a smug look on his face** And I was a pimp, and you were my hooker.
Judge 18709: Alright. Now repeat after me ''I.. whatever your name is.. solemnly swear, to abide by all rules, and not to lie about snakes, and sandwiches and slithering salamanders.'' Okay?
Lynette: Still I'd check your desk for receipts if I were you.
Sissian Sisouskey: **Nods** I Thithian Thithouthkey tholemnly thwear to abid by all ruleth, and not to lie about thnaketh, and thandwicheth, and thlithering thalamanderth.
Kai Junsui (Kid): **Nods and walks off slowly to go deal with the rest of the witnesses standing outside.. closes the doors behind himself.**
Lynette: **Walks up to the witness back.** Miss Sisouskey, where were you at the time of the crime?
Sissian Sisouske y: Where wath I?
Judge 18709: Yes Miss Sissian. Now please tell us who sells seashells by the seashore.. I mean.. tell us where you were you whore! I mean.. JUST TELL US WHERE YOU WERE!
Lynette: Yes, where were you at the time the crime was committed.
Sissian Sisouskey: Me? Don't you know? I wath with you of courthe! Why'd you even athk?
Lynette: Wh-wha-what?!
Judge 18709: Let the jury note down that Miss Sheridan was also seen in the company of Miss Sissian.
Lynette: **Looks utterly mortified and she flushes all the way out to the tips of here ears.**
Judge 18709: **Watches smugly as the jury nod and note it down in the records.**
Inuki **Human**: **Laughs maniacally at Lynette** Eat that!
Lynette: Are you sure?
Lynette: .oO(I probably already did eat that.)
Lynette: You know, that we were... um... in flagrante delicto? with or without the delightful and delovely.
Sissian Sisouskey: **Blinks at Lynette** I'm thory mitthuth. But I'm not quite thure what you are talking about.
Lynette: You know... um... aww hell... **Hangs her head.** W-what where we doing toghether?
Sissian Sisouskey: We were uum.. **Blushes slightly** Well.. we jutht happened to have finithed eating thalty thrimp by the theathore where Tharah Thellth TheaThellth. And you thee.. well.. we had jutht dethided to go check out my new uum.. new uumm... **Blushes an even deeper red, turning from pink to crimson.**
Lynette: **Sighs deeply.**
Judge 18709: Now now! ORDER ORDER! Miss Thithian- I mean Sissian! What WERE You doing? IN ENGLISH?
Sissian Sisouskey: Well.. we were thewing the theamth of our thilk thtockingth.
Lynette: Thewing the— Oh! Sewing the seams of your silk stockings! **Breathes an even deeper, relieved, sigh.**
Judge 18709: Anything else? Remember.. it is mandatory to tell the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing BUT the truth!
Sissian Sisouskey: **Nods** Well.. after that we were getting hot, tho we dethided to take off our clotheth.
Inuki **Human**: Take off you- Mpphgmm! **Grins nervously.. a rare thing that he does.**
Lynette: **Her eyes go wide and her law drops.* Eeeh! Th-then?
Sissian Sisouskey: Then we had bathing thuith underneath and went thwimming! It wuth real fun!
Inuki **Human**: .oO( Dang! I knew I should have asked that Thesaurus guy if abbreviations count in scrabble! )
Inuki **Human**: .oO( Wait.. I guess they don't...)
Lynette: Whew! Thank you very much Miss Sisouskey.