Yes. You heard me correctly football. Firstly I want to know why there's such a big fight over football's name. In Britain they call soccer football. Does that make sense? Yes. So far it does, but then why did the Americans make another sport, completely different, and call it by the same name? Why I ask. There's only one possible explanation. They want to confuse us! Is it soccer or football? Is football football anymore? I don't understand! Eesh.

The second thing is the steamboat conspiracy! Why is it, when you are counting to ten or whatever in football, before you throw a ball you say "One Steamboat, Two Steamboat, Three Steamboat" etc. etc.? Why not Mississippi? I prefer saying "Mississippi!" in fact, they both are relevant to water, what is water's relevance to football? Jeez. This is worse than I though, neh? Then it gets worse. Someone tried to explain it to me, they said that you need that amount of syllables. Okay, so then why not "One Mountain Goat, Two Mountain Goat, Three Mountain Goat." etc. etc.? The person replied "Well, if Mountain Goat, then why not Steam Boat?" my response was "Well why Steam Boat and not Mountain Goat?" And I think I'll stop that there.

The third football rant of mine is Shot Gun. When you have finished counting you are supposed to say "Shotgun" or something, to let people know you have finished counting. Right, that sure makes a ton of sense! Now I know people shoot off guns into the air to let racers know when to start, but if you don't have a shotgun then why would you say "Shotgun" or something? It's like they're trying to promote violence or something. That makes sense! Encourage the little eight-year olds who want to become great big football players to play around with guns! If they actually BUY a gun then they can really play football! Wow! Isn't that just great? I mean, seriously, what would the news say if some kid was found shot in the head because they thought that the words "shot gun" from football meant that they really were supposed to take a gun to play football, then shoot all opposing players on the opposite team.. Riiight.

Back to Da Rantz!