Produced by: Columbia Pictures
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for language and violence)
Reviewed by Chris
Well, we have MIIB. I wish that I could say that I enjoyed the film, and maybe I did just a bit. It's not as bad as critics have been making it out to be, but it's not good either. In fact, it's just plain lousy. You don't even have to be a movie freak to know that sequels suck, and are critic-proof, which means that even though I will bash the hell out of it, you'll still see it and ignore all of my warnings. Well go ahead, see if I care.
In a nutshell, MIIB is basically one of those summer flicks that are all about action and no logic, which is fine by me as long as they are interesting to watch. Unfortunately, MIIB isn't all that fun to watch, let alone interesting. The characters were clever and fun back in the first film, which was made back in 1997. But 5 years later, we get this film that feels rushed and recycled. The characters aren't fun at all in this one, with Will Smith still trying to get noticed, and Tommy Lee Jones being the mean agent that no one in the theater is supposed to care about. This time Jones' character works at a post office, which is pretty funny because of this one joke about the USPS which I won't spoil for you. We also have a lot of annoying characters such as Johnny Knoxville's. That's right, I said Johnny Knoxville. The funny guy you've known to love on MTV's Jackass is a star in this film, and a very annoying one at that. It's bad enough that his leading character is bad, but we also get two of him. Blah. He is basically a two headed alien. One of his heads is semi-annoying, the other is Jar Jar Binks annoying. The bad guy in this one is actually a girl. I don't know if she is supposed to be scary, but she frightens me. Mostly because of her bad acting. Whoops, sorry. Also we have that stupid annoying pug dog that you've seen in all the commercials and the trailers. And if you were wondering, yes, he really is as annoying as the commercials and promos have made him out to be.
The film is a lean, mean 84 minutes long, that includes the end credits and trailers. Take away the twenty minutes of previews at the beginning of the show and the five minutes of credits and you've got yourself 59 minutes of pure hell. Most people might think that an hour is a short movie, and it is. And thankfully, MIIB is short so it is relatively painless, although you will have a hangover when you walk out of the theater to your car. You will feel drained, almost like you have just drained your bowels after a food-poisoned Thanksgiving dinner. You will want to die right on the spot. Chalk up another victim to MIIB. You may not have felt all that horrible during the film (altough there were a few times when I thought I was going to have to puke into the popcorn) but once you leave the movie, beware.
The plot is throwaway, and something that should be thrown far, far away. It's not as clever nor as cool as its brother, and we weren't expecting it to be. There just isn't enough there. The film may be an hour long, but there's only enough material there for 20 minutes. Maybe that's why they made it so short. The rest of the film just isn't enjoyable at all, and then relies on Will Smith to say his witty, rookie farthead lines that may be funny if I was nine years old, but not even then would I laugh at anything so stupid. Nearly everyone in the theater was laughing except for me. I don't know if the workers at the theater spiked that Pepsi with a bit of rum, but these idiots surely seemed drunker than hell, and clearly enjoying themselves. Maybe it's a conspiracy by the producers of MIIB. Spike the soda to make people think that they are having a fun time is their game. Include lots of trailers to give the illusion of a long film. Make a loveable dog say funny lines that will make everyone happy. Well it doesn't work for me.
Final Score: D+