THE SUPERSTORE. DAY.
The Trotters are at the checkout. They are packing
the bags with food,. Sheila, the girl on the
counter, couldn't give a toss and speaks in monotone.
Sheila
Twenty nine pounds and forty
eight pence.
Del
Sorry?
Sheila
Twenty nine pounds and forty
eight pence.
Del
Did you sue 'em?
Sheila
Who?
Del
The charm school.
The Trotters are going through the exit doors. A
large sign on the door reads 'Topbuy Superstores
are offering one thousand pounds to our millionth
customer!'
Albert
(Referring back
to Sheila)
Miserable little cow!
Del
Yeah, right, we won't come
here again. In future we'll
take our custom down to
Patel's Multi-Mart. They
might be a bit dearer but
at least they smile when
they take yer money...
Rodney, what's up with
you?
Rodney
It's him innit! Whacked me
straight in the shins with
that shopping trolley.
Albert
I couldn't help it! That
trolley had a mind of its
own.
Rodney
Oh, what are you saying,
it was intellectually
superior to you, is that it?
Albert
Don't get sarky Rodney, it
don't become yer!
Rodney
Well, a broken leg don't
become...
Del
Alright you two will ya.
Tom Clark, the store's Head of Security, follows the
Trotters from the store.
Tom
Excuse me, one moment Gentle-
men. Tom Clark, Topbuy
Superstores. I wonder if I
could have five minutes of
your time please?
Del
Certainly Tom. Why what's up
then?
Tom
If you'd like to accompany me
to the manager's office I'll
explain there.
Rodney spots the 'millionth customer' notice. He nudges
Del and points it out to him.
Del
Here, just a minute - what is
your game? Oh yes.
Tom
Can I help you with any of
the shopping?
Del
Oh yeah, thanks a lot. Lead
on MacDougal!
THE MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Mr Peterson, the manager, is talking on the phone to
his wife. We get the strong impression he is under
the thumb.
Mr Peterson
Yes...yes...yes...But Valerie
...darling, listen to me for
a moment! Why do you want to
buy a brand-new car?
A SMALL CORRIDOR INTO MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Tom holds the door open for them and the Trotters
enter the corridor.
Del
Alright ta.
Rodney
(To Albert)
Look, I'm sorry I snapped at
you back there, but I'm
trying to give up smoking
you see...
Albert
That's alright son, forget it.
Er, I wonder which one of us
it is?
Rodney
What d'you mean?
Albert
Well, there can only be one
millionth customer can't
there!
Del
Yeah, well it's got to be me
innit, 'cos I paid for it all
didn't I?
Rodney
Yeah, but I gave you my
housekeeping!
Albert
And I gave you half my
pension!
THE MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Tom enters followed by the Trotters.
Del
Alright, alright, don't go
on about it!
Rodney
Del, we'll share the money
fairly!
Del
Alright, leave it to me,
Rodney.
Rodney
No, we'll share it fairly!
Mr Peterson
(On phone)
Look I can't talk now, some-
body's come into the office!
No, I'm not quite sure what
time I'll be home darling.
You're not cooking anything
special are you? Entrecote
Rioja...Yes, my favourite!
I'll give you a call just
before I leave. Bye.
(Smiles at the
Trotters)
The wife!
Del
Whose?
Mr Peterson
So, what's it all about Tom?
Tom
I stopped these gentlemen as
they were leaving the store
sir, as I have reason to
believe they have some
stolen items in their
possession!
Mr Peterson
Dear, dear, dear!
Del
Stolen items??
Rodney
What are you on about??
Albert
We paid for these groceries!!
Del
That's right, twenty nine
pounds and forty eight pence.
Rodney
Ask the girl at the checkout!
Tom
They came quietly sir, usual-
ly a sign of guilt!
Del
Of course we did, because we
thought we'd won the prize
didn't we?
Mr Peterson
Alright Tom leave it with me
...and well done.
Tom
Thank you sir.
Tom exits.
Del
Come on, come on, let's go,
let's go.
They move towards the door.
Mr Peterson
Gentlemen, if I press this
button, security will be
waiting for you outside the
door. And it might appear
to the magistrate that you
were trying to evade
arrest!
Del
Now wait a minute. Look,
we paid for all these goods
- and we've got a bill to
prove it!
Rodney
Ah yes, and we've got a
bill to prove it!
Del
Show him the bill Rodney!
Rodney
What?
Del
The bill!
Rodney
I ain't got it!
Del
Well of course you must. One
of you must have!
Albert
Don't look at me I never
even saw it!
Del
Yes you did, don't you
remember...
Rodney
She took it out the till.
Del
Er...
(To Mr Peterson)
Actually we haven't got the
bill!
Mr Peterson
What a shame. Gentlemen,
there are two ways of
handling this unfortunate
situation. One; we can
remain here in the office
and discuss it like
civilized people, or two;
I can call the police! Why
don't you talk it over
amongst yourselves while
I carry on with this.
Albert
There must be some way of
proving we paid for all
this!
Del
There most probably is
Albert, but what happens
if the Old Bill starts
asking questions about
all my gear and Rodney's
watch??
Albert
Yeah I s'pose you're
right.
Rodney
You mean my watch is
knocked off?
Del
Ssshhh! Listen, alright, it's
not up to us to prove our
innocence, right. It's up to
them to prove our guilt. So,
all we've got to do is say
nothing at all. Right. Just
keep schtum! We'll be out of
here in ten minutes flat,
alright.
THE SUPERSTORE. DAY.
The clock on the wall says six o'clock. Lennox Gilbey
enters. He is black, 20 years-old and is charming and
confident. He smiles and greets total strangers who
ignore him.
Lennox
Hello there, how are you? I'm
very well thank you. Lovely
weather for this time of
year, yes. Yes it is.
(Sings)
'Some enchanted evening.'
He sees an old lady trying to reach a tin of spam on
a high shelf.
Lennox (Cont'd)
Allow me. That's very reason-
able isn't it? I think I'll
have two.
Lennox places the tins into his pockets.
Lennox (Cont'd)
You take care now.
He moves around the store openly stealing but with a
smile. Packets of biscuits are bulging in his
pockets, etc. Sheila notices him.
Sheila
Mr Clarke!
Tom
It's alright Sheila, I've
seen him, leave it to me.
At the tobacco kiosk.
Lennox
20 Rothmans and a box of
matches, love.
Woman
That's one pound forty six
please.
Lennox
Put it on my account! You
take care now.
Lennox exits without paying.
Woman
You come back here with that
stuff!
Tom
Alright son, this is the end
of your fun and games!
Lennox
(Innocently)
What have I done?? Oh no?
Don't tell me, I haven't
paid for these have I?
Tom
Haven't paid for? Get back
in there, you're nicked!
Lennox
No, no, I have this problem
you se, memory blanks!
Tom
Get in there!
Lennox
Listen to the man. The other
day I went into Woolworths.
When I got home I had a pair
of binoculars, 12 packets
of Strepsils and a roof rack
for a Cortina and I didn't
know!!
Tom
Yes, tell that to the
manager, you're going up to
the office.
Lennox
Please man. I'll go away for
this. Look, I've only just
come out!
Tom
You should have thought of
that before-hand! Come on,
up to the office.
Lennox
Please don't take me up to
the office. Give me a break
will yer??
Tom
I'll give you a break if
you keep on! Come on.
Lennox
Look, please don't take me
up to the office!
THE MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
The Trotters are beginning to show worry. Mr Peterson
is lounging back in his chair eyeing them, tapping
his ball-point pen on his teeth.
Del
That's a very nasty habit you
got there you know. You can
lose your teeth doing that.
Mr Peterson
Really? And how would you
know that?
Del
'Cos I'm gonna stick my fist
right down your throat if
you don't pack it in!!
Rodney
Oi, oi, oi, Del!
Del
Well Rodney, he's giving me
the right hump he really is.
A SMALL CORRIDOR INTO MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Lennox
(To Tom)
Don't take me to the office!
THE MANAGER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Tom shoves Lennox in.
Tom
Here's another one for you.
Lennox produces a gun from an inside pocket and
points it at Mr Peterson.
Lennox
Okay, open up the safe!
Tom
Alright son, now take it
easy!
Lennox
(Referring to the
Trotters')
Who are they?
Mr Peterson
Er, they, they're here on
suspicion of shoplifting.
Lennox
Oh! Move.
(To Del)
Ain't I seen you somewhere
before!
Del
No, no, no. I ain't been any-
where before, have I Rodney,
eh?
Rodney
No, no. He's the stay at home
type all the time.
Lennox
(To Mr Peterson)
Go on, open up the safe.
Mr Peterson
Yes, of course!
Lennox
(To Del and
Rodney)
I'm a right villain I am! A
real hard nut!
Del
Yes triffic! Yes.
Lennox
Hey, what's with the hands
in the air?
Del
Well you've got a gun in your
other hand.
Lennox
Come on, let's not be formal,
put 'em down. D'you know the
secret of my success?
Del
No, no.
Lennox
Planning! No detail is left
unturned, no stone unchecked.
I plan everything down to the
last second!
Mr Peterson
Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry
but I can't open the safe!
Lennox
(To Tom)
What's he say to me??
Tom
(To Mr Peterson)
Come on now, don't be a prat
sir! Open the safe for the
nice man.
Mr Peterson
I can't open it, the combin-
ation won't work! What's the
time?
Lennox
It's about twenty past five.
Albert
No, it's quarter past six.
Lennox
Bloody watch, it's always
going wrong! Me mum only
bought it for me a month ago
down the market!
Rodney looks at Del.
Mr Peterson
I didn't realise it was that
late! I won't be able to
open the safe. You see, it's
fitted with a time-lock
which comes into operation
at 6pm!
Lennox
(To Tom)
Is this true??
Tom
Yeah, I'm sorry son, you're
15 minutes late!
Lennox
Bloody watch!! So when does
it switch off?
Mr Peterson
Tomorrow at 8am!
Lennox
Oh great! Well thank you
very much! So what am I
supposed to do now?
Albert
Can't you come back first
thing in the morning?
Lennox
No I can't - I have got
other things to do you know!
Oh well, I suppose there's
nothing else for it!
Lennox goes over to the door and locks it.
Lennox (Cont'd)
We'll have to wait!
Del
Eh, wait? What are you talk-
ing about. Well that's 14
hours!!
Lennox
Look, I don't wanna stay in
here any more than what you
do! But have you any idea
how much is in that safe?
There's about sixty grand!
Rodney
You're kidding.
Mr Peterson
I'm afraid not, Friday is our
busiest day.
Lennox
(To Del, tapping
his temple)
See planning! Let's all
settle down now. It's only
14 hours, it'll soon go. Sit
down!!
Del
(To Rodney)
And I had a date tonight
too, with that croupier bird
from the 1-11 Club. Charming
sort. She's well spoken,
cordon blue cook and does
the business! It could be
months before I have another
crack at her!
Rodney
Yeah, I am well choked for
you, ain't I.
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE. LATER.
It is later. The room is in darkness. Everyone is
sitting, fear having been replaced by boredom.
Rodney
(Quietly to Del)
Got any cigars on you?
Del
No, no, I smoked me last one
about an hour ago. Anyway
this'll help you to pack it
up, won't it, eh?
Rodney
Oh yeah, a gun at yer head's
just the sort of incentive
you need innit!
Del
(Referring to
Lennox)
He ain't gonna hurt no one!
He's just a kid tryin' to
get some money. He's more
frightened than us.
Rodney
Aah bless him!
Del
Are you still there son?
Lennox
Yeah, what d'you want?
Del
Just wondering about if we
can have some lights on. You
know, see what we was up to,
know what I mean.
Lennox
But passers-by might see the
light!
Del
No, no, not if you pull the
blinds, right?
Lennox
Oh yeah!
(To Tom)
Okay, I want you to do
exactly as I say.
Tom
Anything you say son, you're
the boss.
Lennox
I want you to switch the
lights on then pull them
blinds down.
Del
No, no, hang on. What you
want to do is pull down the
blinds then switch on the
light!
Lennox
Oh yeah, thanks. Right, I
want you to pull them blinds
then...
Tom
Yes, yeah I think I've got
it!
He pulls the blinds down and switches the desk lamp
on.
Lennox moves over to Del.
Lennox
D'you know what the police
have nicknamed me?
Del
I've got a shrewd idea, but
no, go on!
Lennox
I'm known as The Shadow!
Because I'm fast and
fleeting, I come and I go
and no-one knows!
Del
Come and go do you? It's
gonna take you 14 bleedin'
hours to come and go in
here!
Albert
I've known epidemics come
and go quicker than you!
Lennox
I didn't know that safe was
on a time lock. No, I'm a
man of mystery me! A master
of disguises - a man of a
thousand faces! Do you
remember the Scarlet
Pimpernel?
Rodney
That weren't you was it?
Lennox
No, but I'm like him! They
seek him here, they seek him
there, those policemen seek
him everywhere. Is he in
Heaven, or is he in Hell,
that damned elusive Sh-a-dow!
Del
Yeah, that's er, good, very,
very good, that's good that.
So the police are looking
for The Shadow are they?
Lennox
They'll never catch him!
Del
No, no, but I et Hank
Marvin's had a few tugs
though!
Lennox laughs with Del. The phone on the desk rings.
Lennox
What's that??
Mr Peterson
It's the phone.
Lennox
I know it's the phone! I
ain't stupid! I mean who is
it??
Mr Peterson
Well it's a little difficult
to tell at this stage!
Albert
You'd better let him answer
it son, it might be his wife.
Rodney
Oh yeah, she's got entrecote
rioja.
Lennox
Oh I'm sorry to hear that!
Well go'n then, find out how
she is.
Mr Peterson
Yes! Peterson?
(Hand over mouth-
piece)
It's security, they're about
to shut up...
(On phone)
Yes, you can switch the alarm
system on.
Tom
Oi, oi, oi, I'm the Head of
Security!
(Grabbing phone)
You can switch the alarm
system on, yes!
Mr Peterson
There you are you see,
everything's alright now.
Lennox
Yeah? You don't mind if I
double-check do ya?
Lennox checks through the blinds.
Albert
(To Rodney and
Del)
He's becoming more nervous
and agitated! They're the
danger signs in a situation
like this!
Del
I've told you, he'll be
alright, he'll be good as
gold as long as we don't
upset him! He's just a kid.
Albert
That's what makes him
dangerous! A nervous kid,
hair trigger! Put 'em
together and...
Rodney
You're a cheerful old bark
ain't yer?
Albert
One of us has got to create a
distraction! So that the
other two can grapple with
him and disarm him!
Lennox
(To the Trotters)
What are you whispering
about?
Del
It's alright son, nothing,
alright, alright, no problem.
Albert
Do you mind if I stand up a
bit and walk round?
Lennox
Why?
Albert
I've got a bit of cramp in me
leg.
Lennox
Go on then. No sudden
movements though!
Del
Sudden movements, him!?
Rodney
The closest he gets to a
sudden movements when he
wipes the cobwebs off his
head!
Albert
Ooh that's better!
Albert suddenly clutches his chest as if in pain. He
contorts his face and starts wobbling.
Albert (Cont'd)
Aaahhggg! Aaaaggghh!
Albert lowers himself to the floor and kicks his right
leg in the air a bit. None of the others show a flicker
of emotion. Albert's eyes open on the floor and he
surveys the room. Realising his ploy hasn't worked he
gets to his feet and sits back down. Nothing is said.
Rodney
(To Albert)
You got any tobacco on you?
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE. EARLY MORNING.
The next morning. The clock says 7.30am. Everyone in
the office is asleep. Lennox is asleep, his head on the
desk. He is not holding the gun but it is very close to
his hand. There are noises outside.
Del
What's that noise?
Albert
Weren't me!
Mr Peterson
It's the staff arriving.
Del
What time d'you open?
Mr Peterson
8.30am.
Rodney
We've been here 13 an 'alf
hours! Don't time fly when
you're in good company.
Tom
Only 'alf hour to go and
it'll all be over.
Del
(Looking at the
sleeping Lennox)
The old Shadow's looking
pretty knackered ain't he,
eh?
Tom
With proper training you can
condition your body to do
without sleep. I learnt that
out in Kenya.
Rodney
What, you got a branch out
there then?
Tom
No, no! When I was younger I
did a bit of traveling. I
ended up doing five years
with the Kenyan Police Force.
I was out there during the
trouble with the Mau Mau.
Albert
He's too young to know what
that means. He most probably
thinks the Mau Mau is the
African Post Office!
Rodney
We did modern history at
school, didn't we, mouthy?
Rodney's attention is drawn to the desk and the
sleeping Lennox.
Tom
Judging by all them ribbons
you must have seen a bit of
action Albert?
Rodney stands and very slowly and very cautiously
begins moving towards the desk.
Albert
Yeah. I was in the Navy,
Royal and Merchant. I've
seen things that would make
yer teeth itch! But I never
talk about it though.
Sharks! Don't talk to me
about sharks! I've seen 'em
50 foot long! Monsters they
were!
Rodney is getting closer and closer to the desk.
Del
Yeah, he thinks that Jaws was
a stickleback! Oi Rodney!
What the bloody hell d'you
think you're playing at???
Rodney
Ssshhhh!
Del
Rodney...
Albert
Rodney - come back here and
sit down son!
Tom
Don't do anything rash son,
it ain't worth it!
Mr Peterson
For God's sake there's only
30 minutes to go!!
Rodney's nerves are at breaking point. As he reaches
the desk a floorboard creaks. Lennox stirs at the
sound. Rodney stops. He reaches out across the desk,
his hand inching towards the gun. His hand moves
past the gun and picks up a pack of fags. He turns
triumphantly.
Del
You plonker!!
Lennox
(Waking)
What you doing??
Rodney
Nothing! I just fancied a
fag that's all!
Lennox
Well why didn't you ask me?
There's no need to steal!
Rodney
No, sorry!
There is the sound of a car outside.
Lennox
What was that??
Mr Peterson
It's the staff arriving.
Lennox
(Checks watch)
They start early don't they?
Quarter past four!
Tom
It's half past seven!
Lennox
Bloody watch! So, only 'alf
an hour to go! It's sad
really. We might never meet
again.
Del
We could always hold a
reunion next year, if you
like.
Lennox
(Pointing gun at
Del)
I remember who you are now!
Del
No, no. It's alright son -
you can have a full rebate,
no problems, alright.
Lennox
You're er...oh what is it?
No, don't tell me! Tel. No,
Del...Del Trotter! Right?
Don't you recognise me?
Del
Well you're a master of
disguise ain't yer!
Lennox
D'you remember Roseanna
Gilbey? West Indian lady,
lives down Cutler Road...
Years ago you used to come
round on the weekly and
that, selling shoes Del.
Del
Yes I remember, and that
was you??
Lennox
Don't you remember her
little boy?
Del
No, no. You're not little...
Lennox!
Lennox
That's right! It's me -
Lennox Gilbey!
Del
Lennox Gilbey. I don't
believe it! Stone me. Last
time I saw you, you was about
that high! Cor dear, doesn't
time fly, eh? So what you
doing with yourself now?
Lennox
Oh well, I'm on the dole Del.
Del
Oh yeah, how's your mum?
Lennox
She's alright, suffers from
her feet a bit, but...
Del
Yeah, well, but she would.
Wait, hang about. I remember
your mum. I remember - very
straight lady, proud, church
goer and all that!
Lennox
Yeah, she won't know nothing
about this Del.
Del
Oh no. So how you gonna
explain say sixty grand, eh?
Christmas bonus from the Job
Centre? Listen Lennox, there
are millions of people out
there in the same boat as
you! But they don't go round
robbing everyone!
Lennox
Look I haven't had a job
right in six years!
Del
Well nor has Rodney!
Lennox
I've got no future!
Del
Nor has Rodney!
Lennox
Look I haven't done a day's
work since I left school Del.
Del
It's a tough old world
Lennox, tough world but it
doesn't give you the right to
go round pointing guns at
people!
(Referring to the
gun)
That thing's gonna put you in
prison!
Lennox
No, I'm too shrewd!
Del
Oh shrewd, you? Shrewd are
you? Very shrewd.
Lennox
Yeah!
Del
An hour ago you were The
Shadow right, man of mystery.
Now we know your name, your
address and your mum's shoe
size! Give it up Lennox
before it's too late, eh?
That gun doesn't suit you!
Lennox
In 20 minutes Del I'll be
rich!
Del
And in 30 minutes you're
gonna be banged up! I'll tell
you what shall I? Just review
the situation for a second.
All the staff have arrived,
right. They're starting to
work out there. And you’ve
gotta walk through 'em, ain't
ya? They're all out there -
shelf-packers, the porters,
the cleaners, the security
men! The shop doesn't open
till half past eight, right.
So in order for you to get
out, you've gotta go up, ask
them to get the keys to let
you out!!!
Albert
Before you can say 'police
sniper' there'll be more
lead flying about than a
fight in a scrap yard!
Rodney
You'd never reach your get-
away car.
Lennox
Get-away car! I knew there
was something...Here look
Del, I didn't wanna go
through with this right. I
just got...I just got a
bit desperate!
Del
It's alright, it's alright.
I know son, I know alright.
Lennox
And the police didn't really
nickname me The Shadow! I'm
not known by the police!
I've never done anything
like this before!
Del
Look, now listen to me,
listen, you give it up
before it's too late! I'll
tell you what I'll do, I'll
come down the court with ya,
and speak for ya.
Lennox
(To Mr Peterson)
You said it would be easy!!
Mr Peterson
Shut up you fool!!
Lennox
I've been set up for this
Del!
Rodney
You??? You and...Lennox??
Lennox
He said I'd just walk out
with the money!
Mr Peterson
And you could have if you'd
been here at five o’clock as
arranged!!
Del
That's it, innit. Of course -
it's been worrying me all
night this has. I mean to
say, how did Lennox know so
much about this place? How
did he know there was all
that money here in the safe,
and where it was?
Mr Peterson
You must believe me, I didn't
do it purely for the money!
Albert
What d'you do it for then?
Mr Peterson
...Well alright, I did it for
the money! But it was simply
to pay off my debts! You see
I have a wife whose hobby is
spending! Twelve thousand
pounds for a solarium,
fifteen thousand for a
swimming pool and now she's
got the estimates on a
marble-tiled gazebo! God, we
only live in a semi!
Del
Couldn't you seek professional
help?
Mr Peterson
You mean a psychiatrist?
Del
No, I mean a hit-man.
Mr Peterson
No, I couldn't afford it!
This...seemed the only way
out.
Rodney
But how did you two ever
meet? I mean, I can't imagine
Lennox at the young Tories
ball, and well you wouldn't
go down a bomb at the Ram Jam
Club, would yer?
Mr Peterson
Lennox came here last year
looking for a job.
Lennox
Then we bumped into each
other a couple of months ago
in court.
Mr Peterson
I'd been summonsed for
failure to maintain the re-
payments on a hire purchase
agreement that had been
signed by my wife, the fat
greedy cow.
Lennox
I was there on an attempted
wounding case. Oh, I
weren't the accused Del, I
was the victim! Anyway, me
and Mr Peterson got chatting
and the whole thing started
from there.
Albert
Did he supply you with the
gun?
Lennox
Oh no!
(Indicating Tom)
He did!
Del
Chamboussiz nouvelle. Cor
dear, would you Adam and Eve
it, eh? Dixon of Kuala
Lumpur is involved!
Tom
Yeah that's right, the three
of us planned it. But I want
you to know I did it purely
for the money!
Del
I bet you did.
Tom
I retire in a couple of
months' time and you should
have seen the crummy pension
this firm was offering me! I
was gonna get less than
Duncan Goodhew's barber!
Mr Peterson
We needed Tom in with us
for his police experience. He
told us what to do, how to
make the robbery look
genuine.
Rodney
So where did we fit into this?
Tom
Well, it would have looked a
bit dodgy wouldn't it, if the
only witnesses to a 60 grand
robbery were the store
manager and the head of
security! No, what we wanted
was some independent wit-
nesses!
Del
Oh. I see, so that is why you
pulled us in? 14b hours just
to provide you with an alibi?
Cor, well I'll...just a
minute - give me that here!
(Taking gun)
Look, where did you get this?
Tom
Out of out toy department.
Del
Yeah - I wondered how long
Taiwan had been making
Lugers!
Mr Peterson!
So what happens now? Are you
going to the police?
Del
Na! I'm gonna phone 'em
instead.
Lennox
Del!
Del
It's alright, don't panic,
don't panic, just winding you
up! You are a wally Lennox!
Lennox
Sorry Del!
Del
What is your mum gonna say,
eh? Anyway there's no real
harm done right? No one got
hurt, nothing got nicked!
Now listen to me Lennox,
you're after a job right?
Lennox
I've been after one since I
left school, Del.
Del
Well I know where there's
one going. And I'm well in
with the governor!
Lennox
You're kidding??
Del
No.
Lennox
You reckon you could swing it
for me?
Del
I think so, mind you the job
does not become available
until...
(To Tom)
When d'you retire Tom?
Tom
What, him work here - in
security??
Albert
Can you think of anyone
better?
(Referring to Mr
Peterson)
He'll know exactly who to
keep his eye on!
Del
That's right, tell me - what
would you prefer, young
Lennox or Old Bill?
Mr Peterson
Welcome to the firm Lennox!
Tom
I'll sort you out a uniform,
show you yer duties!
Del
That's it Rodney. Come on
Albert, come on, we're
going. We're leaving.
Let's get out of here! Oh
dear.
Rodney
This lot's gonna have to
go straight in the fridge
when we get home.
Rodney picks up a French stick and bangs it on the
desk. It is rock hard.
Del
(Throws it to
Lennox)
Here are Lennox, save you
buying a truncheon, won't
it, eh? Oh, by the way Mr
Peterson, I'm coming back
to your shop this
afternoon.
Mr Peterson
Why?
Del
'Cos I've got this funny
feeling that I am gonna be
your millionth customer! What
do you think?
Mr Peterson
I have exactly the same feel-
ing!
Del
You know it makes sense don't
ya? Bonjour.
'Ere, these pages are for lack of education purposes
only. If you decide to five-finger discount any of these
pages for your own hooky sites, at least try an' give us
a mention, will yer?'
Bonjour. Derek Trotter
President (T.I.T.)
Only Fools And Horses ™
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