THE NAG'S HEAD PUB.
The pub is very crowded with teenagers and Del-types. Pop
music is playing very loudly. We cut away to where Rodney
and Mickey Pearce are standing. They both wear their
suits and are eyeing a couple of girls.
Mickey
What d' you reckon then?
Rodney
They're alright ain't they!
Don't 'alf look alike.
Mickey
They're identical twins!
Rodney
Yeah, which one d' you fancy?
Mickey
I'm easy!
Rodney
Are you sure that's not one
bird sitting next to a mirror?
Mickey
No they're sisters or some-
thing, they've been here
before! G'on then!
Rodney
What?
Mickey
Say something!
Rodney
What?
Mickey
I don't know! Anything!
Rodney
Like what?
Mickey
Just say the first thing that
comes into your head. It's
easy!
Rodney
Alright then, if it's so easy,
you say something.
Mickey
What?
Rodney
Anything. It's easy!
Mickey
Alright then I will.
Rodney
Well go'n then!
Mickey
I will...
(Calls across to
the girls)
Oi!
(To Rodney)
There you are.
Rodney
Was that it?
Mickey
Yeah!
Rodney
Oi??
Mickey
Yeah!
Rodney
You're a right little John
Travolta when you get going
ain't yer Mickey!
Mickey
They looked didn't they?
Rodney
Of course they looked, someone
just shouted 'Oi' at them!
Mickey
Hold up, they're looking over
here.
Rodney
Hello, I think we've cracked
it Mickey my son!
Del appears out of the crowd.
Del
Watcha Rodders, alright Mickey
my son? Who you two after? Not
the gruesome twosome are you?
Mickey
They're alright!
Del
Alright? Look, they're so ugly
they even look alike!
Rodney
Del! They happen to be two
sisters!
Del
Sisters!
(Calls)
Oi girls, seen much of
Cinderella since the wedding?
(He laughs)
Cinderella! Ugly sisters.
That's a good 'un innit
Rodders, eh? Anyway, look, I
won't hang about 'cos I
don't wanna spoil your
chances!
Del starts talking to someone across the pub.
Del (cont'd)
Hello darling! You alright?
Are you still working at
Sainsbury's?
(To Rodney)
See you. Just a minute.
From the moment Del called to the girls, Rodney and
Mickey have been staring ahead in stunned silence as
their last chance was flushed own the pan.
Rodney
I'll see you Tuesday then?
Mickey
See you Tuesday!
A STREET. NIGHT.
Rodney is wandering down the street singing quietly to
himself. A woman is seated rather unsteadily on a
garden wall. She is about 45, heavily made up with
peroxide blonde hair. She is obviously bemoaning her
fortune. Rodney approaches
Woman
(Singing)
'You made me love you. I
didn't want to do it...'
Rodney
You okay love?
Woman
Who is it?
Rodney
Shall I phone you a cab?
Woman
No - there'll be a bus along
in a minute my lovely!
Rodney
No, no, ain't got no buses
going along here. No, they cut
the route in about 1973! I'll
get you a nice taxi, eh?
Woman
No, no, I shall be alright!
The woman stands but then stumbles. Rodney puts his hand
out to steady her.
Rodney
Careful!
Woman
What you doing?
Rodney
I'm just steadying you that's
all!
Woman
You touched me!
Rodney
Eh?
Woman
I've read about your sort!
Rodney
Hey, hold on, I was just
trying to stop you from fall-
ing flat on your face!
Woman
I'll have the police on you!
You touched me.
Rodney
No, I didn't, honest!
Woman
(Calls)
Help!
Rodney
(Panicking)
What you doing? Don't shout!
Woman
You touched me!
Rodney
No, no, it's alright 'cos I'm
a doctor!
Woman
You're not a doctor!
Rodney
I am, I am really! Alright -
say 'ah!'
Woman
(Loudly)
Aaaahhhh!
Rodney
No, not that loud! Bloody
hell! Look, I tell you what
I'm just going back to the van
right, to get a thermometer!
Alright listen!
Rodney sprints up the street.
Woman
(Screaming)
Help, help! Rape! Rape! Help!
Help!
THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE.
Grandad exits from the kitchen carrying a plate containing
a fried breakfast.
Grandad
(Calls)
Del Boy, your breakfast's
ready!
Del
(OOV)
Yeah, hang on a minute!
(Calls)
Come on Rodney shake a leg,
six o' clock!
Del enters, washed, dressed and ready for the kill.
Grandad
It's on the table.
Grandad exits back into the kitchen.
Del
Nothing like a traditional
British breakfast is there?
Grandad
(OOV)
That's right.
Del
Gordon Bennett. Why don't you
try cooking one every now and
then? Blimey, it looks like a
bad day at the Blue Cross.
Grandad enters with a pot of tea.
Grandad
Were you two alright last
night?
Del
Yeah, of course, why?
Grandad
Well, when Rodney came in he
was behaving very strangely.
He was all trembling and
sweating.
Del
No, he's probably alright,
don't worry, it's just the
start of the mating season.
Grandad
No Del - something's up. Ain’t
you eating that?
Del
No, Grandad, see I'm on a diet.
Grandad
(Calls)
Rodney, your breakfast's ready.
Rodney enters. He looks tired.
Del
Alright Rodders?
Rodney
What d'you mean 'alright?'
Del
Nothing - nothing, just alright
Rodders?
Rodney
Yeah, fine why shouldn't I be
alright?
Del
No reason. I just said like,
alright Rodders. Like I say,
you know, alright every
morning don’t I?
Rodney
Yeah, sorry!
Del
That's alright, what did you
do when you left the pub last
night?
Rodney
What makes you think I did
something?
Del
Gordon Bennett! No, I mean, I
just asked you like if you
went on anywhere? If, you met
anyone or anything?
Rodney
No! No, I didn't. I come
straight home. Didn't meet
anyone, didn't talk to anyone,
a very uneventful journey!
Del
That's alright, as long as you
enjoyed yourself! Go on, get
that down, come on, we've got
to get away early. Got to pick
up the van from the Nag's Head.
Rodney
Why?
Del
Ah, well, when we fell out the
pub last night the whole area
was teeming with the Old Bill!
I mean, they were all there.
There was the Flying Squad,
alsatians and the SGB! Anyway,
I thought to myself, I thought,
there's no way I'm driving
home through that lot. Not with
me like being as soppy as a
sack, so I, you know, I got
a cab!
Rodney
Did they have a clear descrip-
tion of him?
Del
Who?
Rodney
The man they were after?
Del
Who said they were after a
man?
Rodney
Oh, I just assumed they were
looking for someone that's
all.
Del, now suspicious, looks to Grandad.
Grandad
See what I mean?
Del
Yeah! Alright Rodney, come on
sit down. Something bothering
you ain't there?
Rodney
No!
Del
Has somebody threatened you?
If they have, you tell me
their name and I'll go and
sort them out before we go to
the market!
Rodney
It's nothing like that!
Grandad
You might as well tell us
sooner rather than later
Rodney. It'll save a lot of
time!
Rodney
Oh it's probably nothing! My
journey home last night was
not as uneventful as I made
out! There was this woman!
Well, she weren't feeling very
well, see! I don't know what
was wrong with her but she
stunk of booze! So I stopped,
right, to ask if she wanted
any assistance, and - and she
started acting all sort of
odd!
Del
Odd?
Rodney
Yeah...Um, screaming shouting
things!
Grandad
What kind of things?
Rodney
Oh, things like 'Rape!' you
know, that sort of thing! So
to try and reassure her and
calm her down - I told her I
was a doctor!
Del and Grandad are left open-mouthed.
Del
You told her you were a...You,
you didn't give her a
prescription or nothing did
you?
Rodney
Oh no, nothing like that!
Grandad
Why was she accusing you of
these things?
Rodney
Well, I think 'cos at one
point right she - she stumbled
forward. So I put my hands out
to stop...you know. I didn't
touch her! Well no, obviously
I did touch her, but I didn't,
you know, honestly!
Del squeezes Rodney's shoulder as a way of re-assurance.
Del
Alright. Alright, okay, take
it nice and easy right. This
is gonna take a bit of working
out!
Grandad
What did this woman look like?
Del as his back to the others. As Rodney gives his
description Del has a growing smile that shows he knows
the identity of the woman.
Rodney
Well she was blonde, 45 and
her hair had black roots and,
er, purple fingernails and she
was really heavily made-up.
Del
Did she call you 'My lovely?
Rodney
Yes! D'you know her?
Del
No, no, no, you didn't catch
her - you didn't catch her
name or nothing did you?
Rodney
Oh she was wearing an identity
necklace that said something
like - Blossom...
Del mouths the word 'Blossom' in time with Rodney. He
now has to pinch his nose to stop himself laughing.
Rodney
Del, honestly, I did not touch
her I swear to God.
Del, trying to control his laughter, forces a serious
expression.
Del
You expect me to believe that?
Rodney
Yes!
Del
Alright, let's go through the
facts shall we! After a
night's drinking, on your way
home you meet a sick woman!
And, instead of phoning for an
ambulance like any right-
minded citizen, you touch her!
What do you think you've got,
healing hands?
Rodney
I don't believe you're saying
this to me!!
Del
No, no, no, this is not me
Rodney! That is what the
council for the prosecution
will say during his cross-
examination!
Rodney
You don't think it will go to
court?
Grandad
Oh it's a pound to a penny
Rodney. I mean, the police
don't let matters like this
drop lightly!
Del
No, Old Bailey would be my
bet! The case of the Peckham
Pouncer!
Rodney
Who called me the Peckham
Pouncer?
Del
Look, the police did last
night! You see at the time,
well, I didn't think nothing
of it!
Del bites his top lip to stop himself from laughing.
Grandad
Why don't you give yourself up
Rodney?
Rodney
I'm not giving myself up!
What? You ever seen some of
them detectives give someone
the third degree on the telly?
Well, one of them pretends he
really wants to bet you up
bad, right, and the other
pretends to be Mr Nice! So
it's...you know.
Grandad
Yeah p'rhaps you're right.
After all, you've got form
ain't yer! I mean, you still
ain't finished that two year
suspended yet!
Rodney
No! I'd forgotten about that!
Del
It's the others what worry me!
Grandad
What others?
Del
Well, last night there were
mobs of vigilantes roaming the
street and they were shouting
things like 'Lynch him! Lynch
him!! At the time, I didn't
think nothing of it you know!
Rodney
Well maybe it would be better
if I did give myself up then
'cos all they've got is
circumstantial evidence.
Del
Circumstantial? A sick woman
is attacked at night by a known
criminal posing as a doctor!
Rodney
D'you know what they'd call me
if I went in the nick? I'd be
a beast!
Del
A beast?
Rodney
Well, that's what the other
prisoners call people like me!
Everywhere I went the walls
would be whispering 'Beast,
Beast.' There'd be posses of
them waiting for me in the
shower room, there'd be razors
in me soap, there'd be broken
glass in me porridge.
Grandad
Oh you'll soon learn to adapt
Rodney!
Rodney
No, it's not fair Del! I swear
to God I didn't touch her. I
was only trying to help!
Del
Alright Rodney, alright. Now
come on. Take it easy - relax
- alright. Now listen, I'll
tell you what I'm going to do.
I want to go out, put me ear
to the ground, see what I can
find out! In the meantime I
want you to go and get some
kip and, above all, stop
worrying!
Rodney
Yeah. I'm innocent Del. Honest!
Del
I believe you!
Grandad
So do I Rodney!
Rodney exits the room.
Grandad (cont'd)
D'you reckon he done it Del?
Del
Leave it out Grandad! All he's
down, he's bumped into Blossom
that's all!
Grandad
I don't understand you?
Del
Well she's well-known for this
sort of thing! She's as nutty
as a fruit cake. She spends
most of her time in the Happy
Home, they only let her out at
weekends to get a bit of
practice!
Grandad
You mean she's always accusing
blokes of doing this sort of
thing?
Del
Yeah, it's her hobby! She's
well known to the police.
Grandad
But why didn't you tell young
Rodney?
Del
What, and spoil all the fun? No
way. I'm gonna wind him right
up with this! By this time
tomorrow evening I'll have him
believing that all these flats
are under siege!
Grandad
You wanna be a bit careful Del
Boy! A joke's a joke but you
never know when to stop! What
about that April Fool's day!
You told me the pools had rung
to say I'd won 'alf a million!
Del
Yeah that was a belter weren't
it!
Grandad
Oh wonderful! But you could
have least stopped me going up
West with me pension money!
Del is convulsed with laughter.
Grandad (cont'd)
Oh it wasn't funny Del. I mean
there was I, in a Soho night-
club drinking champagne, and I
suddenly realised I didn't
even do the bloody pools!
Del
Stop it!
THE NAG'S HEAD. NIGHT.
Del, Trigger and Boycie are seated at a table playing
cards. Del is shuffling the cards. They are laughing.
Del
You should have seen his
little face! It was a picture.
I wish I'd had a camera!
Trigger
How could he swallow that, eh?
Del
Well, you know Rodney don't
you. He said he was thinking
of forming an appeal
committee! I said you've no
need to worry about that. You
ought to form an escape
committee I said.
Trigger
I thought that everyone round
here knew what Old Blossom was
like...She accused my cousin
once!
Del
Who's that, young Sidney?
Trigger
No, Marilyn! There again,
Marilyn's always been a bit of
a Tom Boy!
Boycie
Oh yeah, it was a crew cut,
braces and a pipe last time I
saw her!
Del
She still up at Greenham
Common? Here, you playing
Trigger or what?
Trigger
No, I'll be away in a minute!
Boycie
Of course, this Blosom person
is completely loopy you know!
Oh yes, I don't think they
should be allowed out!
Del
Oh yeah, why's that?
Boycie
Well they might be a danger to
the public!
Trigger
Still selling them second-hand
cars Boycie?
Boycie
Oh yeah, I knocked out a
couple tod...of course, I 'ave
heard she receives electroyde
treatment, you know. Oh yes,
every three months or so they
take her away and plug her
head into the National Grid!
The lights have been known to
dim as far away as Watford!
Trigger
Yeah but they reckon she's as
sane as anyone when they're
finished!
Boycie
Yeah, until she gets her
electric bill!
Karen
Del - there's a call for you.
Del
Oh excuse me chaps won't be a
moment. Oh Karen, can we have
three large scotches -
Boycie's round.
Trigger
Oh cheers, Boycie.
Del
(On phone)
Hello? Oh hello Grandad! You
what...What about Rodney? What
d'you mean he's gone on the
run? Why? Oh leave it off,
Grandad it was just a joke!
Yeah alright, alright now
don't - don't panic, he'll be
home when he's hungry and he
wants something to eat...Oh
has he! Alright, alright
Grandad, I'll tell you what
I'll do, I'll go and have a
look round for him and I'll be
home in about an hour! Yeah,
alright, bye.
Trigger
What's up Del?
Del
It's that dipstick Rodney.
He's only gone on the run
ain't he. Reckons he's found
a secret hiding place!
Trigger
Where?
Del
Well how do I know? If I knew
where it was it wouldn't be a
secret would it, eh?
Trigger
No, I meant there must be a
clue!
Del
Yeah, well, he left a note
saying it's no good trying to
find him 'cos he'd be in the
last place anyone would think
of looking for him!
Boycie
Have you tried under his bed?
Trigger
He'll be home as soon as he
gets hungry!
Del
No he won't, Grandad reckons
he's taken all the tinned food
from the cupboard!
Trigger
So, what are you gonna do then
Del?
Del
I don't know Trigger, I just
don't know!
Boycie
Ain't you got nothing in the
freezer then?
Boycie laughs.
THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE.
It is the following morning. Del enters. He is tired and
unshaven. Grandad enters from the kitchen.
Grandad
Any luck Del?
Del
Na, no sign of him Grandad!
Grandad
Where did you look?
Del
I've been everywhere! I've
been traipsing round Charing
Cross, Soho, Leicester Square!
Oh, you want to see what it's
like up there in the early
hours Grandad! It's like the
end of the world! It's full
of drug addicts, glue-
sniffers, winos! D'you know
what, if a nightingale sang
now in Berkeley Square
someone would eat it!
Grandad
Bad night, eh Del?
Del
Yeah, very bad? You know I've
been offered everything from 50
quid for me passport to a
plate of Magic Mushrooms!
(Sniffs)
You cooking something?
Grandad
No!
Del
What's that horrible smell
then? Sweet and sickly!
Grandad
Oh, perhaps it's this after-
shave I've got on!
Del
Gordon Bennett! Where d'you
get that from?
Grandad
Out of your room!
Del
Well, that can't be it then
can it!
Grandad
Oh, I know the smell you're
talking about. It was here
last night, everyone in the
flats was moaning about it!
Here, why don't you get some
sleep Del Boy!
Del
No, I'll be alright Grandad.
I'll have a cup of tea and
have another punt round for
him! Where can he be?
Grandad
I had a note from him here
somewhere, he said he's in the
last place you'll ever think
of looking!
Del
Yeah I know I remember! You
have looked under his bed
haven't yer?
Grandad
First place I checked!
Grandad opens a drawer on the sideboard and looks inside.
Del
Yeah. Well he's hardly likely
to be in that bloody drawer
is he?
Grandad
I'm looking for the note! Now
don't you get funny with me
Del, this is your fault, you
and your silly jokes!
Del
I know, I was gonna tell him
this morning!
Grandad
Well you could have told him
yesterday. Instead of that you
sat there playing your Johnny
Cash Live at San Quentin LP!
Del
Alright, don't go on at me -
don't go on. I feel bad enough
as it is! What is that smell?
I've smelt it before some-
where!
Grandad
I know, so did I.
Del
When?
Grandad
I told you! Last night!
Del
No, no, no, before that.
Grandad
It seems to be coming from the
ventilation system!
Del
Grandad, go and get them
chicken legs at the fridge! I
think I know where Rodney's
hiding.
THE TANK ROOM.
A massive water tank stands on a concrete base. Fitted
into the tank is a tap. The room echoes. The door opens
and Del enters carrying a hold-all.
Del
Rodney! Rodney, it's Del Boy!
Rodney I know you're here!
Rodney don't be a plonker all
your life! Listen I can
explain everything there's
nothing to be frightened of!
I've got - got some scotch
here, something to eat!
Rodney is crouched down on the far side of the water tank.
He is disheveled and has two days of stubble on his chin.
He is also terrified. Beside him is a pile of tinned food,
unopened. As he tries to shift a few inches further back
he knocks one of the tins over.
Rodney
Meow.
Del smiles at the pathetic cat imitation.
Del
Or if you prefer I could get a
saucer of milk? Come on, least
we can talk about it cant we?
Rodney is beginning to weaken. Behind him is a sheet of
metal, which he accidentally catches and falls to the
ground with an almighty echoing clatter.
Del
Oi! That is you innit Rodney?
Rodney
No, it's that cat again!
Del appears round the tank. Rodney appears above it.
Del
You had me going there for a
minute, know what I mean?
Rodney
How did you know I was here?
Del
I know a lot of things Rodney!
Like I know you've bin smoking
your funny fags again!
Rodney
No I ain't Del, honest I ain't
touch...Well, a couple!
Del
I tell you that was the give-
away you see. The smell from
your exotic tobacco has been
wafting down the air ducts!
There's not a man, woman or
child that isn't high as a
kite!
Rodney
You're kidding?
Del
No I'm not. If you stand out-
side this tower block all you
can hear is giggling!
Grandad's calling everybody
'Man'. Thinking of growing his
hair in dreadlocks!
Rodney
Is Grandad okay?
Del
Yeah he's alright. Worried
about you though. What are you
doing up here?
Rodney
Nothing much! There's not a
lot to do in a tank room Del.
I mean you can look at the
view but that gets a bit
boring after eight hours or
so.
Del
In wasn't - wasn't asking
about your activities. I was
speaking meteorically. What
you playing at?
Rodney
Playing at! Well, Del this is
a little game called 'Not
Going to Prison'! The rules
are ever so easy you know. All
you gotta do is find yourself
a place to hide and stay there
till you die!
Del
Don't reckon it will catch on
Rodney!
Rodney
You could be right there Del,
but I'll tell you something,
if necessary I will shoot my
way out of this room.
Del
Oh so while you've been up
here, you've made yourself a
gun have you?
Rodney
Well, I'll throw tins at 'em
then!
Del
Yeah, well, you could get an
empty can couldn't you...
(Indicating water
tank)
...you know and you could
like, splash 'em to death!
Rodney
I ain't had nothing to eat
since I've been up here!
Del
Why's that, you been too
frightened?
Rodney
No, I forgot the tin-opener!
Del
Well why didn't you pop down
for it!
Rodney
Del, desperate men on the run
don't pop home to borrow a tin
-opener! Anyway, going without
food ain't so bad! People like
us are used to it!
Del
Oh come on. Don't give me all
that James Cagney stuff! 'Look
at me Ma! I'm on top of the
World Ma! Look I'm in the tank
room Ma!'
Rodney
Why don't you shut up!
Del unzips the hold-all and hands Rodney a couple of
chicken legs.
Del
You hungry?
Rodney
Yeah.
Del
Here you are. Get that down
your neck.
Rodney
Oh cheers, Del, great. Oi,
have the police been round to
question you and Grandad yet?
Del
Er, no!
Rodney
Good! Good! That means they
ain't on me trail yet, gives
me a bit of time!
Del
Yeah, Rodney, I've got to
explain something like - well,
this is sort of like,
confession time! You know
that woman you met, Blossom.
Rodney
Yeah?
Del
Well she's mad, Rodney!
Rodney
I'm not with you.
Del
She's mad you know. She's well
-known to the Old Bill. They
don't take no notice of her.
Rodney
No - you're lying to me.
Del
No, no, I'm not. No I'm not,
look - look, cross my heart,
swear to die. You remember old
man Corby, well a couple weeks
ago she accused him of
assaulting her! Well, I mean,
he was so surprised he nearly
fell off his wheelchair!
Rodney
Alright then. Alright then.
You explain this to me then,
what were all them police
doing outside the pub that
night?
Del
That was the - that was the
mod and the skinheads, they
were at it in the kebab house!
Terrible scenes, for all I
could hear. I mean there was
chairs going through the
windows, there was chilli
sauce up the wall, then some-
body knocked over a frying
pan and the staff rest room
went up in flames!
Rodney
No, I don't believe you Del,
you're just trying to get me
to come quietly!
Del
No I'm not.
(Pointing out of
the window)
Look go on then, go on - look
out - look out there look, go
on. Now, you see the kebab
house?
Rodney
No!
Del
Exactly, it ain't there no
more! What further proof do
you need?
Rodney
No Del, I don't understand
this! You mean there's been no
photofit pictures, no house-to-
house searches, no public
outcry?
Del
No, none at all! Here, look,
d'you want some water with yer
scotch?
Rodney
No!
Del offers Rodney the scotch. Rodney ignores it. Del fills
the glass up with water from the tap.
Rodney (cont'd)
Then why did you tell me I'd
go away for ten years as a
special category prisoner,
that they'd nicknamed me the
Peckham Pouncer? That there
were gangs of men roaming the
street looking to hang me from
the nearest lamp post!
Del
For a laugh!
Rodney
A laugh?
Del
Yeah, it was just a bit of a
wind up that's all?
Rodney
Del, I haven't slept, I'm
starving hungry and I've been
freezing my - boots off in
this tank room because of
your wind up!
Del
You take things too seriously,
that's your trouble Rodney!
Rodney
I'm gonna kill you!
Del
No, no, no, don't be silly!
Rodney
No, really, I mean it. I'm
gonna kill you right now!
Del
Now just a minute! Just a
minute. Alright now, I realise
that I took the joke too far!
And I should have told you
earlier, and I'm - I'm sorry
Rodney, I really am!
Rodney
I'm still gonna kill you!
Del
I've been all over London
looking for you! I've been in
more doss-houses than a
tramp's vest!
Rodney
So that's where you were going
so late that night, eh? I saw
you drive off!
Del
You saw me. Why didn't you say
something?
Rodney
Del, I'm a desperate man on
the run! I can hardly lean out
and go 'Ooh oooh, Del!'
Del
No, I s'pose you can't. Listen
Rodney, I feel - you know, I
feel really sorry for all the
aggro that I've caused you. I'd
like to try and make it up to
you, let's say I take you out
and I buy you a big slap up
meal, eh?
Rodney
Yeah?
Del
Yeah, with the wine, all the
works!
Rodney
I mean look at these clothes!
Del
That's alright. Come on I'll
buy you a new suit.
Rodney
Yeah!
Del
Yeah.
Rodney
Yeah, but then I'd look
silly, you know brand- new
suit and these dirty old
plimsoles!
Del
Don't you bloody come it
Rodney! Come on, come here.
Come on I'll buy a new pair of
rhythm an' blues as well!
How's that?
Rodney
Yeah, alright!
Del
That's a good boy - good boy,
you know it makes sense,
don't you!
Rodney
(Holds up his glass
for a toast)
All in the past, eh?
Del
(Clinks his glass)
All in the past cheers!
Rodney watches Del down his drink.
Rodney
Look at the state of me!
Del
Don't worry. You'll have a
nice hot shower when you get
down the flat!
Rodney
Oh, I don't fancy standing
under that water Del. Not
after what I've been doing in
it!
Del looks at the remains of his scotch and water. Del
clutches at his stomach.
'Ere, these pages are for lack of education purposes
only. If you decide to five-finger discount any of these
pages for your own hooky sites, at least try an' give us
a mention, will yer?'
Bonjour. Derek Trotter
President (T.I.T.)
Only Fools And Horses ™
& © The British Broadcasting Corporation (B.B.C). All Rights Reserved.
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