Please improve my credit, my job, my wife!
Bail out my bar tab, subsidize my rent!
Isn't that the point of the government?
Bills and banks and Baghdad are a bummer
Please appoint a breast-enhancement czar!
Tell GM I really need a Hummer - and a new car!
Save me, Obama, fix my abs and hair!
Buy my Frappucinos with Medicare!
Spank all the bankers, bring a lasting peace
to the Yanks and Red Sox and the Middle East!
Stop Shi'ites from sett'ling fights the mob way!
Find me jobs in Fiji and St. Croix!
Purge the graft from hell-holes like Zimbabwe - and Illinois!
Save me, Obama, find a cure for gas!
Leave your carbon footprint on OPEC's ass!
Hug North Korea, shoot hoops with Iran!
Can we ask for everything? Yes, we can!
Make each Christian, Muslim, Jew, and Mormon
all join hands and sing "Give peace a chance",
ending death and spam and global warming - and menstrual cramps!
Save me, Obama, left and right agree
This is now the United States of meee!
(parlando:)
And I want a pony...
and an iPhone...
and a two-state solution in Gaza...
and a reintroduction of the Dodo bird to its native habitat...
and an end to hunger in sub-Saharan Africa...
and a weekly six-figure allowance...